Hope(less)

by Melissa Haag

  Chapter 15

  The anticipation had me so distracted that I jumped when someone knocked at the front door. Of course, the shower turned off at that moment. Bad timing. I scowled, took a breath, then walked to the front door. Smarter this time, I checked the peephole.

  Sam stood on the doorstep, and he looked very serious. He must have left in the middle of the night in order to get here first thing in the morning. I frowned. The surprises just kept coming, and it wasn’t even eight.

  Fixing a welcoming smile on my face, I pulled open the door.

  “Morning, Sam. This is a surprise.” I wanted to see Clay freshly shaven without an audience, but I motioned Sam in anyway. If he took the time to drive here, I would take the time to listen to whatever he had to say. Maybe it would be a short visit.

  He stepped inside.

  “Um, don’t get me wrong, I like seeing you, but is there a reason you’re here?” I said, trying to hurry him along.

  “We’ll wait for Clay.”

  His cryptic answer caught me off guard. It’d been more than two months since we’d seen each other. Sure, we had talked, but it wasn’t the same as seeing someone face to face. I’d expected him to look at least slightly happy to see me.

  Just then, the bathroom door opened. I excitedly turned to look for Clay. Dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, he stepped into the living room. But I didn’t waste my time ogling him. My eyes honed in on his face. Only Sam’s observant presence kept me from wrinkling my nose.

  Clay still sported his beard, but he had trimmed it back. The neat length continued to obscure his teeth while revealing a hint of his lips. At least now, I’d be able to see when he smiled. The whiskers that had covered his neck were gone, leaving the clean-shaven column of his throat exposed. My eyes lingered on that skin for a moment before moving on. He’d also run his fingers through his hair so it lay back out of his face. The deep purple of his black eye had already faded to an ugly green-yellow. Even with his bruising, he looked really good. Just not shaven all the way.

  I smiled warmly at Clay, wishing we were alone so I could tell him what I thought.

  “You know why I’m here, Clay,” Sam said from behind me.

  My smile fell as I turned to look at him. What was he talking about?

  “I’m told you didn’t take the news well.”

  I turned back to Clay in time to see him shrug and cross his arms.

  “What’s going on? What news?” I said glancing between the two.

  Sam gave Clay a sharp look. “You didn’t tell her?”

  “He’s not talking to me, yet,” I said, wondering what bad news Sam had to share.

  Sam shook his head at Clay. “You’ve dug your own hole then, son.” He focused on me. “A group of Forlorn have asked Elder Joshua to approach you for an unofficial kind of Introduction. Joshua approved, but he made it clear they were to keep it brief and then leave, unless any of them had a further request of him.”

  The meaning of Sam’s words sunk in deep like a vicious bite. It also explained his less than warm greeting. He stood in my living room as an Elder on pack business, not as family or a friend. I struggled to contain my anger.

  “I thought I was done with that. We had a deal.” I crossed my arms and coldly regarded Sam. “I know I said I was done.”

  The carefully, composed expression on Sam’s face faltered a bit. “Honey, there are rules we must follow to keep peace in the pack. Clay had six months to convince you of his suit. That time has passed. That means unMated can once again approach you, with permission.”

  My mouth popped open. Six months. Permission from an Elder. That’s why they’d stationed Joshua here. A backup plan because they knew I didn’t want to Claim Clay. They failed to understand I didn’t want to Claim anyone. I’d never been free. I clenched my fists. My temper boiled.

  “That’s complete crap,” I gritted out. “First of all, I didn’t reject anyone. Second, no one ever told me about this stupid rule.” My voice rose to a yell, and I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly to restrain myself. When I reopened them, I felt more in control and able to speak calmly. “You know what? I don’t care what the pack rules are. I gave you my word and my time. Now, I expect you to keep yours. I worked hard to get here, Sam. I won’t let anyone take this away from me.” My hands shook. That Sam had cared for me in the past and given me a place to call home for two years, kept my tongue marginally civil.

  “By not completing the Claim, you’ve become eligible again. Charlene was granted a special consideration because, at that time, we weren’t even sure a Claiming would be possible between a human and a werewolf. Now that we know it is, you fall under the same rules,” Sam explained calmly, his face again carefully devoid of emotion.

  “No, I don’t.” I knew I could stand there and argue all day with Sam, and he wouldn’t budge. It would always be whatever’s best for the pack with him. “Is this why Clay was beat up?”

  Clay made a noise—like a snort of disagreement—behind me.

  “Feel free to jump in at any time,” I said, turning to arch an eyebrow at him. He remained mute, but his eyes softened when he looked at me.

  Sam spoke up from behind me, but I didn’t turn to look at him.

  “Gabby, it’s the reason he’s been fighting. He’s not relinquishing his tie to you. Every time an unMated shows up here, he will challenge that man for his right for an Introduction. Did Clay get beat up? Only as a byproduct of handing out beatings.”

  Clay steadily met my gaze the entire time. It broke my heart a little to know he was fighting so hard to keep me, and all I’d given him in those six months was a kiss. Not even spontaneously given, but relinquished as part of a bribe. I hadn’t rejected him. I just didn’t want to be forced into a choice. If I chose to be with Clay, I wanted it to be on our terms.

  “Why is two years of school too much to ask for?” I said to Sam, tearing my guilty gaze from Clay.

  “And after that? Then you’ll want time to establish your career. Let’s face it. There will never be a perfect time for this in your life. You just need to make the best with what you have.”

  As in, suck it up? My temper boiled over. Screw respect. He just crossed a line. I walked right up to him and poked him in the shoulder.

  “No, Sam, you do. I’m not your pawn in this game you play with women’s lives. I went to your Introductions and fulfilled any obligation I felt I owed you for the roof over my head. You have no say in who I see...” Poke. “...or what I do, unless you intend to drag me back to the Compound and physically force me to bite someone.”

  Clay growled slightly behind me, obviously sharing my sentiment. I stepped back from Sam and moved closer to Clay.

  “It’s time for you to leave, Sam. Don’t come back.” Saying those words hurt just as much as knowing I only mattered to him because of what I meant to the pack, rather than what I meant to him.

  “You were never an obligation to me, Gabby.” When I looked away, he tried to persuade Clay. “You know it’d be safer for both of you if the Introductions continued at the Compound. If you keep going like this, there might be someone you won’t beat. Are you willing to risk leaving her alone, then?”

  What did he mean by that? Clay could get hurt even worse? I thought they were nearly invincible. Glancing at Clay, I looked at each bruise and saw the real answer. They were hard to beat but made to break, just like the rest of us.

  I walked to the door and opened it for Sam, signaling the end of the conversation.

  “All right, then.” He walked to the door and turned toward me. “Gabby, call me anytime. I’m here to help you, no matter what you might think right now.”

  I nodded stiffly and closed the door behind him. His help would only extend as far as it could help the pack. He’d just proven I meant less to him than they did, but I’d always known that. Why, then, did I let it hurt me?


  For a few seconds, I just stared at the door’s surface and tried to let go of my anger. Sam made his choice. I needed to make my own.

  I turned to look at Clay. He’d moved closer to me, probably waiting for my reaction to everything Sam had just said. I didn’t want to deal with it, yet. Instead, I reached up and teased my fingers through the whiskers along his jaw.

  “Much better, but I’m going to keep at you until it’s all shaved off, and maybe a haircut, too.”

  He briefly bared his teeth, re-explaining the reason for the beard.

  I spent a moment studying his face. I ran my fingers over his forehead and traced his black eye. He held still, patiently letting me look my fill. Would things have progressed differently if I’d known about a timeframe? I doubted I’d have even let him in the door if I’d known he only had six months to try to convince me.

  With a sigh, I stepped away. “I need to get ready for class. Before I go, would you show me where you got the coveralls from?”

  He nodded and his lips curled in a slight, secretive smile. I definitely liked seeing his lips.