Hope(less)

by Melissa Haag

  Chapter 17

  I used the paneled wall for support as I made my way to the bathroom. Sweat beaded my forehead when I finally stepped onto the cold, tiled floor. I flicked on the light and fan then set my clothes on the toilet tank.

  Knowing I had limited time, I immediately turned the shower on to let the water warm. I moved to the sink, caught my reflection in the mirror, and cringed. Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, and hair that stuck out at varying angles, reflected back at me. Without a doubt, Clay really did care about me. I shook my head then brushed my teeth, giving the water an extra minute to heat.

  When I finished, I struggled out of my clothes and further depleted my waning energy. I eyed the high edge of the tub and thought back to when Clay had insisted on helping me. If I fell, I’d never hear the end of it. Bracing myself, I successfully stepped over the edge and tugged the curtain closed.

  The hot spray felt great, but I didn’t pause to warm up. If I stayed too long, I’d lose what little energy I had or Clay would discover me. I grabbed the all-in-one hair wash and lathered my natty head. My arms grew heavy as I rinsed, and with relief, I turned off the water. Navigating the high edge proved more difficult the second time, and I clutched at the wall after a near fall.

  The fan worked to suck the built up heat and steam from the room as I hurried to dry off. My unsteady legs forced me to sit down to finish dressing. The cold helped hurry the process.

  I used my towel to bundle my dirty clothes then moved to the door. Though it felt like the process took forever, I knew only a few minutes had passed since Clay left. If I could get to my room and dry my hair, I’d be home free. I pulled open the door and yelped. The steady thump in my head increased its tempo.

  Clay stood just outside the door, leaning against the wall. He held a glass of water in one hand and two pills in the other. I tried to read his face, but he kept it perfectly blank. I hoped that meant he wasn’t angry with me. Desperate to relieve the pain in my head, I released my death grip on the door and gulped down the pills.

  When I tried handing him the empty glass, he shook his head and picked me up again. My feet had been getting cold, anyway. Holding the empty glass, I sighed and rested my head against his chest.

  He went toward my room, and I almost complained until I saw what he’d done. He’d changed the sheets and remade the bed. Socks, slippers, and my hairbrush lay on the quilt, waiting. He’d known I would go for the shower and had given me privacy even though he hadn’t wanted me to get out of bed. Not only that, but he’d gotten everything ready for when I finished.

  I looked at him. He studied me, his arms still securely around me. I leaned in, kissed his cheek tenderly, and hesitated there. He smelled so good. I just wanted to curl back up with him. But I couldn’t. I pulled back and looked at him again.

  “You are so sweet, and I truly appreciate this, but I’m not going back to bed, Clay. I need to see Luke.”

  The muscles in his jaw clenched as he stepped into the room and carefully set me on the bed. He left without a backward glance.

  I stared at the empty doorway puzzled until the outer door slammed hard enough that I heard the wood crack. I flinched.

  “I shouldn’t have said I needed to see Luke.”

  I hurried to put on my socks and slippers while hoping Clay wouldn’t go too far. The movement made my head feel like it would fall off at any moment. The pills needed to kick in soon. I rubbed my brow again, but it didn’t relieve the pain at all. This wasn’t a normal headache. I just needed to deal with it. With a sigh, I stood.

  I’d only made it to the living room when the door burst open again. I stared at Clay as he dragged Luke in by the cuff of one pant leg. Luke didn’t appear to mind. Instead, he was laughing. His hands clutched the waistband of his pants to keep Clay from pulling them off entirely. After they cleared the threshold, I saw a crowd watching from the hallway. Not good. News of this would get back to the Elders. No doubt Sam would want to talk to me as soon as he found out I was awake. I moved from the couch to the door and slammed it closed. The poor door would need some repair work.

  Clay reached the middle of the room, dropped Luke’s leg, and without pause, turned back to the door. I didn’t move away from the exit. He reached for the knob without meeting my gaze, but I stopped him with a hand held up.

  “Clay, I need you to stay and listen. Please.”

  He still didn’t look at me, and I knew asking to speak with Luke had hurt him. Why wouldn’t it? Had I really ever given him much hope we had a future together? Sam showed up at our door just days ago saying I’d rejected Clay and needed to do the Introductions again. Instead of putting my foot down, we went back. Granted I’d told Clay I didn’t like to see him hurt and admitted we both knew he was the one for me, but we hadn’t talked about what we’d do about it.

  “Please,” I said again, when he hadn’t moved. “Give me a chance.” I touched his face and forced him to meet my gaze. “I’ve asked so much of you already and know it’s not fair to ask again, but I am.” I chose my words carefully aware of our audience inside the apartment and in the hall.

  He sighed, reached up to cup my face, and gently smoothed his thumb over my cheek. A tender look crept into his eyes before he abruptly dropped his hands, turned, and headed toward the still laughing Luke. Clay dragged his feet as he stepped over Luke. Luke grunted when a foot connected with his ribs, and his laughter started to quiet.

  As Clay settled on the chair against the wall, Luke sat up.

  “Most people wouldn’t laugh while being dragged through the Compound like that.” I stayed by the door because I didn’t want either of them leaving. I knew I couldn’t stop them physically even on my best day, but I’d cry if I had to.

  Luke stood and turned toward Clay with a grin, ignoring me to taunt Clay.

  “I’ve never seen anyone hold a transformation like that. He was man, but the fangs, ears, fur...it was amazing, and hilarious, mate,” he said as he settled himself on the couch.

  “Um, isn’t that a sign that he’s in an extreme emotional state?” I asked Luke. He didn’t appear to hear me.

  I walked behind Luke and smacked him hard on the back of the head. It really hurt my hand, but it got his attention.

  “Meaning, you should stop trying to annoy him.”

  Since Clay sat across from Luke, I moved to Clay and gingerly perched on one of his knees. He held still for a moment then his hands gripped my hips. He pulled back so I fully sat on his lap and turned me so we could both see Luke. Much better than sitting in my own chair. Warmer, too.

  Having successfully gained both their attentions, I decided to get to the point.

  “Luke, what happened when I touched you? What did you feel?”

  “One hell of a shock. Listen, did you bring me here for a reason, or was it just to rub your relationship with him in my face?” Luke nodded at Clay, and though Luke’s usual smile still curved his lips, his words conveyed the agitation he tried to hide.

  “It’s for a reason.” I tried to lean forward, but Clay wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. He didn’t give an inch, and I didn’t fight it. I’d pushed him enough for the night...or day. I still didn’t know how long I’d been out.

  “How long have I been sleeping?”

  “Two days, love. Everyone’s been pretty worried, and the Elders are waiting to talk to you.”

  “I bet.” My eyes drifted to the door. I focused and immediately cradled my throbbing head. My eyes watered as I tried to breathe through the pain. “Crap.”

  Behind me, Clay grunted in annoyance.

  Luke’s smile slipped. “Listen, I think you should still be in bed, little one. No disrespect intended, but you don’t look well.”

  My hair hung wet and uncombed around me. I could imagine what I looked like. I pressed my cool fingertips to one temple and wished I hadn’t been so stupid. Clay started to rub my back soothingly
, working his way up to my neck and then lightly stroking my hair. It helped.

  “I know you’re right, but I can’t go back to sleep yet. I need you to tell me what happened.”

  Nicole told me that she’d really connected with Randy. Even after my pull wore off, they had continued to date. I couldn’t go back to the two women at the club to find out what they’d experienced. I needed to get more information from Luke.

  “I don’t know what happened, love. You shocked me, told me not to leave, then fainted. After that, Clay picked you up and ran inside with you. He hasn’t let anyone near you for two days. We only knew you were still alive because he didn’t take off into the woods.”

  Clay’s tight hug when I woke made more sense. He’d been worried about me, taking care of me and keeping the Elders away.

  I forced myself to stay focused on Luke.

  “And after Clay left, what about you? What did you do?”

  Luke began to look uncomfortable. “Uh, I went out for a bit then came back here.”

  “The constant attention probably went to your head,” I muttered. Luke was too sure of himself for any woman to have a chance.

  His startled expression told me I was right.

  “Did you meet anyone special while I was out?” I asked glancing at the door again and wishing we didn’t have an audience.

  I looked back in time to catch Luke shaking his head. Still unMated. I’d thought as much but had to be sure. Normal humans wouldn’t tempt him, and there were too few unMated females at the Compound. I had an idea but needed sleep and time to think through everything.

  “Luke, there is so much I don’t understand, and I really need your help.” I nodded toward the door and hoped he’d know I meant with the Elders who probably waited outside. “I need some time to myself to understand what I’m feeling.” This is why Clay had to be in the room with me. Anyone standing in the hall would probably think I felt torn between Clay and Luke.

  Luke looked from me to Clay then back again. He started to ask a question, hesitated, then gazed at the door once more. Finally, he stood.

  “I’ll be around,” he said.

  I hoped he’d understood I wanted his help to get us out of here. The door had barely closed behind him when a knock sounded.

  Still sitting on Clay’s lap, I turned to him. He met my gaze. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms cradled me as he stood and carried me to the bedroom. He set me on the bed, covered me, then closed the door. I listened to him answer the apartment door.

  I heard Sam’s voice but didn’t bother trying to hear what Sam had to say. The Elders would come to get me soon enough. My exhaustion didn’t wait for them. I fell asleep again.