Falling Fast, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 4)

by J. H. Croix

  Delia arched a brow and took another swallow of her coffee. “Don’t be silly. I can guess where he was.”

  Ginger sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Fine. He was at my place last night.”

  Delia started to smile, and Ginger held a hand up. “Don’t go getting all excited. I don’t know what the hell is going on with me, or with us. This whole thing is crazy.”

  Delia’s smile faded. “What’s so crazy about it?”

  Ginger looked away, staring out the window. The wind scudded across the bay, ruffling the surface of the water. A few boats were visible, and the snow-capped mountains were bright against the blue sky. Her chest felt tight with anxiety and uncertainty. This was why she’d thought it was perfectly reasonable to never have a relationship again after her divorce. She hated these feelings—the confusion, the vulnerability, the worry about how someone else felt about her. She never, ever wanted to watch her self-worth get flushed down the toilet when someone else’s rejection of her made her question everything about herself. When she looked back at Delia, Delia’s warm blue eyes were waiting. Her understanding was so evident, it made Ginger want to cry. She took a shaky breath and wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, the warmth anchoring her.

  “It’s crazy because this wasn’t supposed to happen. After everything fell apart with Tony, I decided it was best to stay single. Marley said that was crazy, but it didn’t seem like it to me. I can honestly say I haven’t been interested in anyone at all. It was easy-peasy. Until Cam showed up in town,” she said with a rueful smile.

  Delia laughed softly. “Cam’s hard not to notice.”

  Ginger threw a hand up in exasperation. “Tell me about it. It’s so damn annoying that I had to go and start falling for a guy who has half the women in this town drooling over him. You should’ve heard Becky in the break room last week. Then, she saw him sitting beside me when we were up at the lodge the other night, and she asked all kinds of nosy questions after that.”

  Delia almost spit her coffee out with a laugh. She snagged her napkin and wiped her mouth. “I know all about that problem. Maybe Garrett’s not your cup of tea, but it drove me crazy at first to try to deal with how damn handsome he is. He doesn’t even notice it, but everywhere we go, women are eying him. It’s not a jealousy thing, but it’s just…a thing. Even now, sometimes I can’t believe a guy like him would want to be with me.”

  “Are you kidding?” Ginger asked, incredulous Delia was so oblivious to how amazing she was. “Garrett’s lucky to have you. You’re one of the best people I know, you’re an amazing mother and friend, you’re smart and independent, and on top of it all you’re beautiful.”

  Delia shrugged. “You’re one of my best friends. You’re supposed to say that kind of stuff. I wasn’t making the point because I needed you to shore me up, but because I wanted you to know I get it. Cam doesn’t do a thing for me, but objectively speaking, he’s handsome as all get out. The man is in some serious shape too.”

  Ginger’s mind flashed back to the feel of his hard body against hers. Heat zipped through her. She took a gulp of coffee and twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “It’s not just that. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t expect this, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t either. He’s only here for this season, so it’s not a good idea for me to get my hopes up for anything. What’s making me crazy is I wasn’t having any trouble staying out of messy stuff with men and now I’m smack in the middle of it. I don’t want this.”

  “No one likes the emotional stuff. It’s messy and scary. Maybe you don’t want it on an intellectual level, but clearly you do want this or it wouldn’t be happening.”

  Ginger stared across the table at Delia and contemplated throwing something at her. Sometimes the obvious was annoying. She opted for a good strong glare, which elicited a grin from Delia.

  “What? Cranky because I pointed out the obvious? Come on. If you didn’t want Cam, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

  Ginger sighed. “I know. I just can’t help worrying if it would be best if I put a stop to it. I’ve never done the whole casual dating thing well. If you wondered why I married Tony straight out of college, that was it. It seemed like we had a good thing, and I didn’t want to try to keep looking. This thing with Cam is not how I do things.”

  “Maybe you need to stop thinking like that. There is no right or wrong way to go about it.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to fall for him and have to wish I hadn’t when he leaves.” Her chest tightened and her stomach felt hollow.

  Chapter 13

  Cam came to a smooth stop on his skis by the trailhead. He carefully stepped to the side of the trail and glanced over his shoulder. Gage came flying down the trail and lifted a pole in a wave as he approached Cam. His speed slowed naturally as he came around the slight bend in the trail, and he stopped a few feet beyond Cam.

  “Damn! The trails are great,” Gage said with a wide grin.

  Cam chuckled. “Thought you’d like a quick run through.”

  Gage walked on his skis to turn to the side and rest on one of his ski poles. “Can’t believe you guys got these ready that fast.”

  Cam shrugged. “I’ll work as hard as anyone, and Don’s hard to keep up with. He wanted to make it happen, so we did. If Marley hadn’t ordered the trail signs behind your back, we wouldn’t be able to open them up to skiers, but she was a step ahead of you.”

  Another grin cracked Gage’s face. “She says I’m almost impossible to surprise. The signs look great. No way anyone can get lost with all the markers.”

  Lost skiers on backcountry trails was a common concern at any ski lodge. Unlike downhill skiers who stuck to the well-groomed slopes, backcountry skiers went winding their way through the woods. Without marked trails, an adventurous skier could easily head off and lose track of where they were. Though the lodge had skiers sign a disclaimer to cover concerns such as that and more, no one wanted skiers to get lost in the winter on a mountain. Even in the best gear, a cold winter night could lead to hypothermia and death.

  The signs from Midnight Sun Arts had a whimsical touch. The named trails were written in bright colors and artistic lettering, and the arrows guiding skiers were wild and curly. Cam nodded toward a sign nearby. “Signs can’t be missed. Risa, the woman from the gallery, was hoping to hear what you thought of them. I told her you’d give her a call.”

  “I’ll swing by the gallery tomorrow. I have to run into town to pick up a list of baby stuff.” Gage shook his head slowly. “Man, I had no idea all the special stuff a baby needs.”

  Cam chuckled. “I bet. Haven’t had one myself, but I can imagine. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

  “I’m flying blind, but we’re doing okay. Holly makes me smile every time I look at her, so that makes it all easy,” Gage offered with a wry grin. “You ready to head back down?”

  “Sure. I tend to head in once the sun starts to set,” Cam said with a nod toward the horizon. The days were gradually getting longer as they marched into February, but the sun still set much earlier than Cam was accustomed to. It was close to four in the afternoon, and the sun was already dipping down behind the mountains in the distance. The spruce trees looked as though they were dusted with gold from the angled rays of the sun.

  Gage’s eyes glanced to the sun and back again. “Just about when I get used to the short days, they start to get longer again. When I first moved back here, the short days in the winter and long days in the summer were hard to adjust to. I’m still working on it though. It’s only my second year here.”

  “I keep forgetting that. Gotta say, you’ve done an amazing job with the lodge. It’s hard to believe this is only your second season since you reopened.”

  “Couldn’t have done any of it without Don and Delia. Between the two of them, they knew so much from when my grandparents ran the place that it made things a lot smoother.”

  “I bet. Don loves this place. He still tells me
how glad he is you came back and opened it up after your grandmother passed away. I’m sure someone else has already mentioned it, but it means a lot to him to be able to work here again.”

  Gage nodded. “I keep trying to make sure he knows how much it means to me that he’s here. Seriously, without him, it would have taken me at least another year or more to have this place open. He stepped in and made sure I didn’t do anything stupid.” At that, Gage turned forward on the trail and pushed off on his skis, calling over his shoulder as he did. “Beat you to the lift!”

  Cam chuckled and adjusted his gloves before gripping his poles and pushing off behind Gage. Gage might not have been a competitive skier, but he was naturally fast and liked challenging others to races. They were on a fairly level stretch of the trail that connected them back to the ski lift. Cam was counting on passing Gage by jumping the stream crossing ahead. Adrenaline surged through him when he leaned into a wide curve before the view opened up from the trees into a small field. He was gaining on Gage, so he leaned forward and skied as fast as he could, savoring the burn in his legs. As he predicted, Gage aimed for the bridge that crossed the stream. The stream was on the wide side of what Cam thought he could clear, but he hadn’t been a competitive skier for nothing. Even in fun, he wanted to win. He angled across the field and flew through it, tightening into a curl to push off his poles and clear the stream. He made it, but just barely, and he felt the back of his skis dip against the embankment. A familiar rush of exhilaration coursed through him as he skied away, gliding on the momentum from his jump.

  He heard Gage laughing from behind when they met again where the trail narrowed into the trees. Cam lifted his ski pole in a victory wave as they slowed down before they entered the area where the lift was. Gage was only a few feet behind him when they reached the clearing and came to a stop. “I’m noticing if I want to beat you I’m gonna have to strategize.”

  Cam shrugged. “Maybe. You’re damn fast though.”

  They skied to the lift and rode it down together. When they reached the bottom, Gage headed straight for the back deck when he saw Marley leaning against the railing with Holly in her arms. Cam paused and looked around. He took a deep breath of the cold air and savored the scent of snow, spruce and the hint of ocean. Skiers milled about him. For the first time in a long time, he’d raced and hadn’t even thought of Eric. It was nothing more than a silly race between friends, but those kinds of races had comprised hours and hours of his childhood with his brother. Gage probably thought nothing of it, but his penchant to challenge anyone nearby to a race was incidentally helpful for Cam.

  He watched as a woman who looked remarkably like Marley walked across the sprawling deck and stopped beside Marley and Gage. Gage stood beside Marley, his arm thrown over her shoulder. Cam’s chest squeezed—an odd sense of longing washing through him. Last Frontier Lodge was doing funny things to him. He’d hoped to find a place where he could enjoy skiing without being bombarded with familiar places and memories of his brother. The lodge had given him that easily. What he hadn’t expected was how quickly he’d be welcomed into the friends and family that were the heartbeat of the lodge. Diamond Creek itself was also easy for him to settle into. It had all the warmth and tight-knit feeling of a small-town, but the bonus of amenities and shopping to cater to tourists.

  As he watched Gage and Marley, he wondered what it would be like to have what they had. Ginger instantly flew to mind. She was almost always in his thoughts these days. Of all the things he’d hoped to find in Alaska, a woman who called to him like no other hadn’t even crossed his radar. He had no idea what to do about that, in particular how much he wished he could simply enjoy what was happening with her. Moment to moment when he was with her, he could. It was when he wasn’t that he stumbled and fumbled along in his thoughts. He shook his head sharply and pushed off on his skis.

  Moments later, he tugged off his outer gear and hung it up in the room off the back hallway set aside for staff, family and friends to leave their gear and equipment. Walking into the kitchen, he headed straight for the hot cider Delia kept in the back corner and found Marley and the woman he’d seen on the deck beside her.

  Marley smiled warmly when he approached. “Cam, this is my sister Lacey,” she said nodding towards the woman beside her.

  Lacey shared Marley’s auburn hair and green eyes. She finished ladling cider into a mug and held her hand out. Her grip was strong and confident. “Nice to meet you. Rumor has it you’re a hell of a skier,” she said with a grin.

  He shrugged. “It’s what I do. Mind if I get some cider?”

  Marley laughed. “Cam’s as addicted as the rest of us to Delia’s cider.”

  Lacey immediately set her mug down and filled another for him. “Here you go. Marley tells me you’ve been here for almost a month now and you’ve already got classes going for kids and finished the backcountry course. Not to be weird, but you’re the Cam Nash who used to win all the telemark races pretty much everywhere, right?”

  Cam nodded. “That would be me.”

  Lacey grinned. “Awesome! I’m not a professional, but I do hard-core guiding trips—I’ve done it in the winter for years. You and your brother are legends for those of us who pay attention to that kind of thing. I’ve always said backcountry skiing is way harder than downhill. I’ve never understood why that gets all the attention.”

  He shrugged, a flicker of tension running through him at the passing mention of his brother. He took a breath and let the feeling wash through him. “Go figure. I’d rather not have it be any more high-profile because it makes it more fun.” He took a swallow of cider and savored the warmth.

  “Is your brother still competing?” Lacey asked.

  Her question was natural and expected if she knew anything about them. Not many people knew about Eric’s death beyond friends and family since this was the first winter since he’d died. Cam waited for the dread to roll through him, but it didn’t. He was still sad, and he still missed Eric and probably would forever, but he could actually hear his name and deal with it. He met Lacey’s eyes and shook his head. “Eric died in a car accident towards the end of winter last year.”

  Lacey’s eyes widened. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” she said softly.

  “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known. I’ve had some time to get used to it.” As he said the words, he realized they were finally becoming true. He’d been saying he was getting used to it for months, but it was only the last month where he could mean it. The sharp pain, almost unbearable in the early days after Eric died had softened, and the weight of guilt wasn’t quite as heavy.

  Lacey nodded slowly. “Well, um, okay. I’m really sorry.”

  “No problem. No need to dwell. Are you here for a visit?”

  Lacey sighed and shook her head. “No. I live here, but like I said I do backcountry guiding for work. I decided this would be the last winter I’d do any winter trips, but leave it to me to get delayed up north because of the weather. We were out on a dog sledding trip in the Artic Wildlife Refuge and got snowed in three days in a row. I’m so pissed because I missed Holly’s birth.” Lacey glanced to Marley. “I can’t believe I missed it.”

  Marley shook her head. “Stop worrying about it. You had booked that trip before I was even pregnant. Trust me, I don’t think watching me go through labor was too much fun anyway.”

  “Well, I feel bad, but I’m so happy to be home now. Holly looks amazing. Where did Gage take her anyway?” Lacey asked as she looked around the kitchen.

  Marley gestured to the swinging door that led into the restaurant. “He’s probably out there passing her around.”

  Lacey glanced to Cam. “Nice to meet you. I’m going to chase down my niece.” At that, she turned away and walked across the kitchen into the restaurant.

  Cam stepped to the cider and refilled his mug. Marley caught his eyes when he looked up. “I should’ve filled Lacey in about your brother. Sorry about that,” she said softly.
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  “It’s fine. It really is. I’m getting used to being asked about him, which is probably a good thing.”

  Marley nodded slowly. “Okay.” She paused for a moment, a small smile curling her lips when she spoke again. “You’d better get ready for Lacey to want to race. She and Gage take turns racing each other all the time.”

  Cam leaned his head back with a mock groan. “Is there anyone Gage doesn’t try to race?”

  Marley grinned and shook her head before she turned to walk away. She glanced over her shoulder. “See you at dinner.”

  Chapter 14

  Ginger caught the pacifier when it fell out of Holly’s tiny mouth. “Got it,” she said softly. Holly was sound asleep, her breath coming in small puffs. Ginger gently dropped the pacifier on the table beside the couch and looked over at Marley who was seated on the other end of the couch typing away on her laptop. “She’s totally out,” Ginger said.

  Marley stopped typing and looked up with a smile. “She’s like that. One second she’s awake, the next she’s dead to the world. I wish I could fall asleep like that.”

  Ginger stroked her index finger through the downy fuzz on the top of Holly’s head. “How is she sleeping at night now?”

  Marley set her laptop on the coffee table and leaned back into the corner of the couch. “So, so,” she replied, flipping a hand back and forth. “Some nights are better than others, but I’m lucky if I get four straight hours. She’s only a few weeks old, so I figure we’re lucky if we get more than an hour at a time.”

  “How’s Gage handling it?”

  “Oh, he’s great. I never thought about it before, but his days as a Navy SEAL mean he can function pretty damn well without much sleep. He said when they were on missions, they slept in fits and starts, so he learned to crash fast and wake up in a snap. He gets up as much as I do during the night. It’s funny because we try to take turns if Holly wakes up, but it doesn’t really matter because we’re both up anyway.”