Oculus (Oculus #1)

by J. L. Mac

  “Wh-what?” I screech. Multiple sets of hands grab at me under my blanket. “Wait! Just stop! Dad!” I scream as loud as I can. Bile surges up my throat. I thrash and kick at the people handling me.

  “Iris. Just cooperate,” my father’s voice is smooth and even in a way that confuses me. Why is he so calm?

  “What? Cooperate? I didn’t do anything! I didn’t extort that sick fucker, Ingram, either! He seduced me! He forced me to go to that meeting!”

  “A likely thing for a traitor to say,” an agent says in a dispassionate voice.

  “I didn’t do anything I wasn’t forced to!”

  “Haven’t heard that one before either,” another agent chimes in as they secure my hands behind my back.

  Sic. Oh my god, Sic. Help me! Get me out. Get me out. Get me out. Get me out. Get me out.

  I chant in my mind, willing my heart to slow its pace and my brain to clear the last vestiges of whiskey-induced fog.

  My bare feet move jerkily across my bedroom floor as the agents around me herd me from the safety of my bedroom.

  It’s odd how time seems to alter and switch and slow and speed and pause altogether when a person is faced with inconceivable circumstances.

  I’m oddly confused, blurry and I haven’t the slightest idea how much time has passed since my trial. Odder still is that I can’t even recall the trial. All I can recall is the deafening sound of silence in this cell underlined by the finality that awaits me.

  I was hoping for exile. Give me the Dark Lands. Give me prison camp. But none of that is going to happen.

  Today is the day of my death and the pity of it all is that I don’t even know the damned date.

  “Miss Tierney, please rise,”

  “Wait, I’m not ready!”

  “Your execution is to be carried out right away.”

  “I don’t belong here!” I shout. “I don’t belong here!” I scream, thrashing against the bindings around my limbs.

  A hand claps over my mouth. A familiar hand. Sic!

  “You will believe me,” he whispers with his lips pressed to my ear.

  The blankets are tangled around my legs and arms making me feel claustrophobic in a way that I’ve never experienced. My nostrils flare as I try to catch my breath. The rough hand against my mouth stays put while the fog of fear and whiskey and fitful sleep clears away.

  Sic’s hand slowly moves away. My bed dips as he settles himself at my hip. “You called?”

  “I did? I did. I’m sorry I—didn’t,” I stumble along trying to gather my thoughts.

  “It was just a dream,” he declares, plucking errant tendrils of hair from my sweat dampened forehead.

  Tears sting my eyes. My heart is still pounding and I’m overwhelmed at the comfort that having him here right now establishes within me.

  “It’s okay,” he goes on. “I told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I can’t even if I wanted to.”

  “Why? I don’t understand what’s going on. I’m so confused,” I huff. My head is spinning.

  “Would you like me to clear things up for you?”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  Sic’s calloused hands cup my face like he has done in my dreams. His soft, full lips cover mine and in an instant my world as I know it falls away. Flashes of color and thoughts and memories that I don’t feel are truly mine, flit through my mind like a string of explosives as his lips do all the clarifying I need.

  My hands roam up his chest to his neck, to his face. The scar beneath my palm feels so much more real than it ever did in my dreams. My lips part invitingly and he seizes the opportunity without hesitation. A moan of pleasure that I don’t even recognize as my own, slips from me and it seems to encourage him. He drinks from me with unbelievable thirst.

  Sic breaks away from me, panting. He rests his forehead against mine. “Do you understand now?”

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  “If you choose not to believe the things that I have to tell you then you have to at least understand that… this,” he brushes his lips over mine once more sending a chill through my body. “I meant what I said, Iris. You’re mine. You always have been.”

  “Yes,” I whisper barely loud enough to hear as I pull myself onto his lap hoping that he won’t miss the invitation that I’m extending.

  My brain is screaming for me to ask questions, but it can wait because my body is in control, driven by a need to consume Sicarius in the most intimate way that a woman can possess a man.

  Please, Sic, I think to myself, testing the connection that we clearly share. Sic doesn’t waste a moment. He lifts me off his lap and brings us both to stand beside my bed.

  I can tell that my anxiousness is mirrored in him. My ears thrum with the sound of my own heart slamming away in my chest. I rise on the tips of my toes and press my lips to his, willing us both to relax and enjoy what we are giving each other. I go to work on his clothing, dropping it away to collect in a scattered pile on my floor. He allows my hands to explore him in the way that I must. The palms of my hands map the planes and slopes and valleys and curves of his body. He’s impressively fit. Lean and strong. Tall and broad. His skin burns white-hot under my hands making me want to rush so that I can take that heat into me, to consume the fire that’s burning within him. It’s all I can do to take my time exploring, memorizing, mapping.

  I take the solid length of him into my hand and my heart leaps in my chest. My center pulses with the desire that feels as though it’s clawing at what resolve I have left to take this slow. Sic groans subtly as my fingers wrap firmly around him.

  His hands go to the hem of my shirt and tug it up and over my head. He makes short work of what’s left of my clothing. With one sinewy arm snaked around my waist, he lays me back on my bed, the same bed that I’ve dreamed of him so many times for so many years. And now…

  You’re here. You’re real. You’re mine.

  Sic nods, brushing the tip of his nose against the tip of mine. Our connection is unfathomable. My brain tells me that I should feel threatened to have such a connection with a Dark Lander, but every single cell of my being tells me that Sic is my home and there is no safer place for me.

  He kisses me breathlessly as I take him in my hand and coax him forward to settle comfortably between my thighs. With one even, measured thrust, Sic drives home, and I’m forever changed.

  “All the girls in the world were divided into two classes: one class included all the girls in the world except her, and they had all the usual human feelings and were very ordinary girls; while the other class -herself alone- had no weaknesses and was superior to all humanity.” - Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

  I ALMOST MISS THE SOUND of the patrol coming down the street. At the last moment, I scale a garden shed, leap to the ground on the opposite side, and race away into the darkness. My mind is reeling and my heart feels like it is about to beat its way out of my chest.

  She’s real.

  She’s here.

  And she is mine.

  After years of reading about affairs of the heart (and the physical urges that usually accompany it) in novels, I had dismissed these activities as unimportant. These distractions were unrelated to my work and frivolous stuff like that got you killed. I had secretly marveled at the great lengths that characters in my books would go to in the name of love. Reason and logic seemed to get thrown out the window whenever love was thrown into the mix. I’d always assumed this was an absurd exaggeration, some sort of artistic license taken on the part of the authors. Now, I’ve had my eyes opened to how little I know.

  Iris.

  Just thinking her name sends a chill up my spine.

  My thoughts wander back to before, and the incredible moment I woke up next to her. The certainty that this…that she was not just a dream. Ashe dim light of dawn illuminated the sky, I wrapped myself around her, breathing in the subtle, fragrant scent of her hair.

  I didn’t want to go. She burrowed against my chest with a contented s
igh, providing a most welcome distraction. With her close to me, I felt calm…centered, and ready for anything. Our fingers intertwined, and she gave my hand a small squeeze.

  “Sicarius, you should go before the sun comes up.” Hearing the gentle lilt in her warm voice as she said my name brought a small smile to my lips. I felt a touch of sorrow at the thought of her not being able to see my amusement. As the thought passed through my mind, her hand came up and traced the curve of my lips. “What’s so funny?”

  There was no rancor in her tone, no indication that she thought I was making fun of her. Instead, she spoke playfully, as if in some way she already knew the source of my amusement. The way we’re already able to read each other is uncanny. At first, when we had begun to undress, I’d been afraid of disappointing her. I have never been with a woman, never even seen one naked, and my only instruction on the subject had come from banned books.

  My heart pounded so hard that I was sure she could hear it beating, and I felt fear stealing the joy from the moment. Her hands had come up to my face and pulled my lips to hers. Gently, as if afraid she would scare me by moving too quickly, she pulled the rest of my clothes off. Reaching down, she grasped the bottom of my shirt, slipping it over my head. Her hands deftly found the button on my pants, and they quickly joined my shirt on the floor. Without hesitation, she stripped me bare as the day I was created. When I was fully revealed, she used her hands to roam over every part of my naked flesh. The contact sent a rush of blood coursing through my body and tingling chills spread through me.

  That contact broke through the last of my fear, and I instinctively knew how to proceed. Soft kisses from her mouth down to her supple neck. My hands stripped her and explored her delicate frame. I had never touched a woman before, not like this. Each second stretched out into an eternity of bliss as we moved against each other. As the urgency built between us, we fed upon each other’s responses, escalating to more intimate touching. When she finally grasped me to slide me inside of her, it took everything I had not to rush.

  Alternating her rhythm, Iris kept our first coupling going far longer than I would have thought possible. When we finally collapsed, sweat-soaked onto the bed, the only thing I could think of was how badly I wanted to do it again, and how at peace I felt in her presence. Cradling her possessively in my arms, with her sweet scent permeating my being, I fell into an uncommonly restful sleep.

  The bed had not even cooled when she woke me a few minutes later, nibbling on my ear. I lay there for a moment, blinking rapidly, astounded at my lapse. Never, in my entire life, had I been so foolish as to fall asleep in an unsecure location. Somehow with Iris, I’d felt so comfortable that I had completely lowered my guard. My musing on the subject was interrupted as she nipped my earlobe hard, and then stole my breath with the intensity of her kiss. Hours later, sore and content, we drifted off once more.

  Sounds in the kitchen woke me the next morning. Again, I marveled at the complete lapse of reason that I was suffering under. Had her father simply looked in on his daughter before he went downstairs, I’d have been discovered. Even so, I stayed motionless, enjoying the feel of Iris’s bare breasts against my chest, until her green eyes fluttered open. She rubbed them absently then her hands clamped down upon my shoulders, as if needing to assure herself that I was real.

  “Sic,” she said. I cut her off by capturing her lip with mine. For a moment she tensed, and then her body relaxed against me. We kissed quietly, until we heard the front door close, and the house is once again quiet. Then we spent a quicker, if no less satisfying time together, before she shooed me out the window, like an errant pigeon.

  “If you don’t go soon someone, might spot you leaving.” I knew she was right, but I still didn’t want to leave her.

  “Come with me.” I pleaded, not recognizing the enthusiasm in my own voice. “We can leave the compound and be together.”

  Her breathtaking smile faltered a bit. “We need to talk about things. I need to think. Please Sic…” I was glad she couldn’t see my face. I’m sure my disappointment was clearly visible.

  “Fine. I won’t force you, Iris. But you’ll see that I’m right. Don’t take too long or the decision might be taken out of your hands.”

  She smothered any further discussion with her delicious mouth. I was a bit lightheaded while leaving the area, which accounted for me nearly walking straight into a security patrol. After my clumsy dodge behind a dumpster, I manage to get all the way back to the shack without incident. My head has barely touched my pillow when a sudden thought comes to me.

  I’ve been so concerned with checking on Iris that I’ve forgotten the other task I need to complete. Granted, I hadn’t expected my evening to take such a wonderful turn, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have people depending on me.

  Before joining Iris in her bed last night, I’d gone in search of those who’d escaped the raided meeting. Iris had told me she was worried about her friends, so I figured she’d want me to help the idiots. It didn’t take me very long to find their trail, and I was surprised that security hadn’t already caught up to them. Then again, corporate security doesn’t seem to give training classes on forest tracking. The would-be rebels were headed away from the compound, into the Dark Lands. I circled around in front of them and checked their path. They were in the clear for now, but eventually they were going to stumble right into the path of the outer security perimeter.

  I waited for the teenage refugees in a large clearing. I stayed in the trees on the far side until they were more than half way across. In the front was Cade, leading about half the Junior Resistance members. I stepped out from the trees and let them catch sight of me. I held my empty hands out to my sides and spoke quietly.

  “Cade. I take it that you and your friends are interested in leaving Corp life behind?” The group looked ready to bolt, but Cade nodded.

  “Yeah.” His eyes dawned with understanding. “You the guy that warned us?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Corp security had you surrounded. I figured the least I could do was give you guys a heads up. Smart to have a secondary escape route. They had the other doors covered.” I took in the rest of his party. Two of the girls and one of the guys looked like they were about ready to drop where they stood. To get this far out into the woods, Cade must have been setting a brutal pace. At least for soft wage slaves who didn’t get a lot of exercise.

  Good. That means that he knows what will happen if they’re caught.

  “Are you with The Resistance,” Cade asked. The look of hope in his eyes was almost comical. Maybe he expected a group of heavily armed fighters to suddenly appear from the trees, sent to save his ass from the fascist oppressors. I took a moment, considering how to best answer his question. From his point of view, anyone that was against The Corp was probably considered a member of The Resistance. I nodded, scanning the trees behind him meaningfully.

  “Yes. If you keep going this way you will get swept up in the outer perimeter. Follow me, I can get you to a safe place.” I turned to leave and heard one of the guys next to Cade whisper to him. Another advantage of having enhanced senses.

  “How do we know we can trust him man? He might turn us in,” the guy hissed.

  “Because,” Cade replied. “He already saved our asses once. If he wanted The Corp to have us, he could have just let them take us.” I glanced back once and motioned for them to follow me into the trees.

  Cade and his spoiled, would-be dissidents, made enough noise following me that I could have tracked them from another sector. I led them to an old cement bunker, high in the hills. Before the world fell, there’d been a lot of people that took up survival preparations. This bunker had probably belonged to some weekend enthusiast bolt hole. It was on a list of places Anna had purchased for hiding out from corp pursuit.

  Whoever the rich idiot was who built it, they’d at least done some research. It was equipped with a hand pump well inside the structure, and the temp inside remain around seventy t
hree degrees. We’d stayed here one year when it had been unseasonably cold.

  After sweeping the area to make sure it was clear and the structure was empty, I dropped Cade and his crew inside. Other than water, the place was pretty bare bones. I promised to bring them some food, blankets and gear soon before fading into the woods. It took the better part of two hours to hide the path they had stomped across the forest. That was when I heard Iris’s need for me as if she were shouting in my temples and high tailed it back to check on her.

  It’s my second day with nearly no sleep, and I’m physically and emotionally exhausted from our revelry the night before. The last thing I want to do is more babysitting. But the Junior Resistance will probably do something stupid if I don’t take them the supplies. If they get desperate and go out foraging, it’s a pretty good bet security will pick them up.

  I drag my protesting body back out of bed, and reluctantly head to the storehouse. It’s easy to get the food, gear, and blankets. The hard part is carrying them out of the compound and into the woods. In the end, I pull all the supplies out of the cartons, pile them into one blanket, tie the ends, and hang it from a large branch. It not easy to pass unseen, but once I’m outside the wall, I make better progress. Cade meets me at the door of the bunker.

  “Man, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you. These guys were starting to talk about going back to the compound.” Glancing around at the group, I see a lot of hostility brewing. Most of them are probably second guessing their decision to leave. It’s likely that Cade is right. They’re either going to leave soon or wait for nightfall to slip out after everyone’s asleep. I decide it’s time to set them straight.

  “That would be a fatal mistake.” One of the girls, a wiry brunette with a prominent nose, makes a rude noise.

  “Yeah,” she said. “And who died and made you the expert? We don’t even know you.” I turn and look at her. She meets my eyes for a second and doesn’t seem to like what she sees there. I hold her gaze for a moment, establishing dominance, before answering her.