by Sophie Stern
“A chance for what?”
“A chance to be a dad.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again.
“It’s a little late for sorry, darling. I want to see him.”
Before I could say anything else, there was a little gasp from behind Dale. He turned, still holding onto my chin, and spotted Cole. My son’s eyes widened when he saw Dale’s face for the first time, and I realized right away that he knew. They both knew.
“You’re my dad?”
3
Dale
HE WAS A SCRAWNY LITTLE cub with a shaggy head full of brown hair, like mine.
“Yeah,” I managed to say gruffly. “I’m your dad.”
The words felt awkward and strange in my mouth. This wasn’t a sentence I thought I’d have to say for a long time, if ever.
A dad.
I was a dad.
Not only was I a dad, but I was his dad.
Cole looked past me to his mom, and I realized I was still holding her chin. Quickly, I dropped it, placing my hands firmly at my sides. I didn’t want to scare him by going crazy touching her, but it had been years since I’d seen Ruby, and the attraction was still. The pull was still there. Besides, I wasn’t going to hide who I was. Not today.
I was more than just a bear shifter today.
I was his father.
I’d come here to be his father.
“Mom?”
I looked over at Ruby. She was so damn gorgeous. How had I forgotten how sweet and pretty she was? Somehow, over the years, I’d tried to put her out of my mind because the truth was too uncomfortable for me.
That night, all of those years ago, my inner-bear had thought she was our mate.
My mate.
I’d wanted to claim her, to keep her. I’d wanted to make her promise to be mine forever. Was that so wrong? It didn’t feel wrong, but it probably was. I’d wanted her to be the woman I was going to grow old with, but I’d chickened out.
I’d been young, and it had been a wild night. I’d been too weak to ask her to be mine. We’d both understood that it was just going to be a single night of fun, but things had changed, apparently.
Now we had something bonding us together.
We had something that was going to keep us close.
Now we had a child.
Ruby nodded.
“He’s your daddy,” she whispered.
“Oh, you’re Dale,” the little boy said. He smiled at me and gave me a little wave. I was a little surprised at this. He seemed perfectly comfortable with the information I’d just shared with him. I wasn’t really sure what I had expected: maybe tears? Maybe yelling?
I definitely hadn’t expected this casual, comfortable greeting.
“You know my name?”
“Of course, I know your name,” he rolled his eyes so hard I thought they were going to pop out of his head. “I’m not a buffoon.”
“Buffoon?”
“You know, a fool,” the little boy looked at me like I was, in fact, a buffoon. He blinked, watching me.
“I guess I’m just surprised to hear such a small guy using such big words.”
“He hangs out here a lot,” Ruby said quickly. She gestured to the little bookstore. It was a cute, comfortable kind of place. There was an area across from the checkout counter where people could cozy up with a book and read. There were several rows of bookshelves that were practically overflowing with paperbacks and hardcovers alike.
“Ah,” I nodded, smiling. What a wonderful place to get to spend time. I had to admit that I was a little jealous. “So, you get to learn all sorts of cool words from the bookworms. Is that it?”
“Yes,” Cole said.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you.”
Cole stuck his hand out over the top of the chair, and I reached for it and shook it. I wasn’t really sure what I expected when meeting my son for the first time. I didn’t really expect a hug, but I also didn’t expect him to be this polite or welcoming. I turned to Ruby, but she just shrugged.
“He’s a good kid,” she told me.
“I can see that. You’ve done a good job.”
“Thank you.”
She swallowed and looked away. I wanted to say something more, but I wasn’t really sure what to say. I probably should have apologized for not being there for her, but I’d never been given a chance. If she’d told me she was pregnant, I would have stepped up. I would have helped her.
There was no world in which I would have knowingly abandoned my cub or left her to raise him alone.
I just hadn’t known.
I was saved from having to say anything else because the bell above the front door jingled, announcing the arrival of customers. I needed to talk to Ruby, but I wasn’t about to do anything that could get her fired. I’d wait patiently while she helped her guests.
An elderly-looking couple came in. I stepped aside so they could come up to the counter. There was no reason I couldn’t wait a few minutes. It probably hadn’t been very fair to approach her at work, anyway. Maybe I should have lurked around in the parking lot like a weirdo until I knew for sure that she was off work.
I was there, though.
I was there, and I was ready for Ruby and Cole, and it kind of seemed like they were ready for me, too. Although I hadn’t really considered the idea of being a dad before this week, it was quickly growing on me.
“How can I help you today?” Ruby asked the couple. She smiled happily, and I realized that she really, really cared about her job. That was a good feeling. I felt the same way about working at a community college. Even though I wasn’t a teacher, I got to interact with students on a regular basis, and I had the chance to help them both realize their dreams and set goals for reaching them.
“We’re looking for a book for our grandson,” the woman said. She smiled brightly. “He’s about five years old. He needs a Christmas gift.”
“I can do that,” Ruby nodded. “The children’s books are right over there,” she pointed. “What kind of things does your grandson like?”
“Well,” the woman tapped her chin, “he likes cars and bears and he’s really interested in this new video game. Dear, do you remember what it was called?”
The elderly man who was accompanying the woman frowned and shook his head, obviously not happy to have been put on the spot, but Cole jumped up off the chair.
“Is it Dragon’s Revenge 7?”
“Why, yes, I think that’s right,” the woman said. “Do you know about that game?”
“Yes!” Cole jumped up, took the woman’s hand, and led her toward the back of the shop. “I know all about Dragon’s Revenge 7. Did you know there are some books about it? I’ll show you!”
The gentleman looked from me to Ruby and then over to his wife and Cole.
“Come on, dear,” the woman called back. She was smiling, obviously pleased to have such a personalized shopping experience, and Cole seemed happy to be able to help.
“Well,” the man said. He didn’t seem to know whether he should follow his wife and Cole or to stand there and wait.
“It’s okay,” Ruby smiled at the man and nodded. “There are a lot of books to choose from. Even if you end up going with something that’s not about a video game.”
This seemed to put him at ease a little. His shoulders lowered, and instantly, he looked less tense.
“Cole is quite the expert when it comes to children’s books. If you aren’t able to find something that works, let me know and I’d be happy to offer additional assistance.”
“Thank you,” the man said, and then he headed toward the back of the store where his wife was already busy looking at books with Cole. Once he was out of earshot, I turned back to Ruby, whose eyes swung over to mine.
“You’re here,” she said again, lowering her voice, “and I’m shocked.”
“Why?”
“Tracking me down shows quite a bit of determination.”
“You didn’t try to hide yourself
,” I pointed out. She’d given me her phone number, after all, and she’d given me her real name. Those were two pieces of information I could do a lot with.
“No, but most people still wouldn’t take the time to come looking.”
“I took the time.”
“Why?”
“You asked for my help,” I reminded her. The letter had been shocking to receive, but she’d been very clear in that she wasn’t sure what she needed to do next.
I could help her with that.
“I did.”
“The letter was pretty specific.”
She had sounded scared in it. Maybe that was the thing that worried me the most. I didn’t like the idea that she was scared or afraid. Nobody deserved to feel alone. Dealing with being a shifter was hard enough when you knew all about it and had planned to learn how to shift. Being thrust into the world of shifters when that hadn’t been something you’d planned on was probably pretty overwhelming.
“It was,” she agreed, nodding, and then she bit her lip.
Instantly, I felt aroused. I remembered everything about the night we shared together. I remembered the lip-biting and the kissing. I remembered the teasing and the way her legs brushed against mine under the table at the bar. I remembered the way she smelled.
Perhaps most of all, I remembered the way she looked when she came.
“Tell me what happened,” I finally choked out. She hadn’t actually told me many details about how he’d managed to shift. Most shifters didn’t learn how to change at this age. For the majority of us, shifting was something that accompanied puberty.
“I think I said everything in the letter,” Ruby whispered quietly. “He changed at daycare, and he changed back.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
She shrugged and ran a hand through her hair before looking back up at me.
“And I don’t know. He said he didn’t know what happened. One minute, he was playing with blocks. Then, all of a sudden, he was growling at another kid for stealing one.”
“He got upset with another kid for stealing a block?”
“It might have been Lego bricks.”
“So, he got upset,” I chose to focus on that. “Most of the time, when someone shifts, there’s a reason for it.”
“You think his emotions got out of control, and he couldn’t stay in his human form?”
“Maybe. Nothing like this has ever happened before?”
“Never.”
“Usually, people don’t turn into shifters until they’re teenagers.”
“But not always.”
“Not always.”
Ruby frowned, and shook her head for a second. She was getting ready to say something I wasn’t going to like. She tried to fight it back, but she couldn’t control herself. Finally, she blurted it out.
“No offense, but don’t you think you should have told me you were a shifter before we fucked?”
Her question was bold and blatant, but it was a fair one. Maybe I should have. If I’d told her I was a shifter, though, she wouldn’t have believed me. That was why I hadn’t bothered.
I’d learned long ago that even humans who were open-minded wouldn’t necessarily believe it if they met a shifter in real life. While I wasn’t embarrassed or scared to be a bear, I was cautious when it came to revealing my true self.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Would you have believed me?”
“Of course!”
“There’s not a chance in hell you would have believed me,” I told her firmly.
She turned away, frowning. Good. The little old couple was coming back to the front. Cole was holding the woman’s hand still, and he placed a book on the counter for Ruby to ring up. Then Cole let go of the woman’s hand.
“This will do,” she said, gesturing to the book.
“Absolutely,” Ruby grabbed the book and scanned it. “Did you find everything all right?”
“Oh, yes,” the woman nodded.
“Cole was a great helper,” the man added.
Cole’s chest puffed up a little, and I smiled. I remembered being his age and feeling like a million dollars when anyone noticed me doing something right.
“That’s wonderful,” I said, nodding. Cole peered over at me, and his eyes widened. It was the first time I’d expressed being proud of him, but it wouldn’t be the last. I wanted to get to know him even better.
I needed to get to know him better.
After the couple left and the door closed, Ruby turned back to me. Cole was still standing there, but she gestured toward the chair he’d been sitting in earlier, and he scurried over. He sat back down, grabbed a book, and returned to his reading. Once he was occupied and Ruby was confident he was no longer paying attention to us, she turned back to me.
“Look,” she said carefully.
“Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t want to see me.”
I didn’t think I could handle that. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. I needed to see her, too. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed her until now. Hell, I hadn’t even known I’d had a son until just recently. Now the idea of being without either one of them was kind of horrifying to me.
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Oh.”
“I was going to tell you that I get off work at five,” she said. “The owners need to speak with me for a few minutes after.”
“About what?” I could sense tension radiating off of her, but I couldn’t tell why. Ruby’s eyes darted toward Cole, but he was fully immersed in the story he was reading.
“Um, I don’t know for sure,” she said.
“You have an idea, though.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, “I have an idea. They’re...older.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that bookstores in small towns don’t last forever, and at some point, you’re ready to stop...being employed...and ready to start spending more time with your family.”
So, she thought they were going to close the bookstore.
She thought perhaps the meeting was about the fact that the couple was getting older, and they wanted to retire. It was understandable.
“I understand,” I said, nodding. “Why don’t I hang out with Cole for a little while? At least, until you close.”
Ruby tensed, but I shook my head.
“I don’t mean that I’ll take him anywhere.”
She visibly relaxed. I didn’t like the idea that she didn’t trust me with my own kid, but I didn’t really know Cole. Not yet. I was going to change that, though.
“I’ll sit with him here,” I explained.
“That would be nice,” Ruby nodded.
“Do you have a lot to get done before the end of the day?”
“More than I’d like to admit,” she forced a smile.
“Hey, no matter what happens, I’m going to be here for you,” I told her. I may not have been there in the past, but that was all going to change.
“That sounds an awfully lot like a promise,” she lowered her voice.
“It is.”
“Do me a favor, Dale,” Ruby tightened her lips, but not in a sexy way. No, this was very much in an I’m-a-mother-and-I-don’t-want-you-hurting-my-kid way.
“Anything.”
“Don’t make him any promises,” she said.
I understood what she was saying. Really, I did, but this was my cub we were talking about. My inner bear had thought, all of those years ago, that she was the one we were going to spend eternity with.
Had he been wrong?
Had I been wrong to leave her?
Now, I wondered if there was a way I could make up for lost time, or if I’d be doomed to actually walk the Earth alone. All I knew was that for today, I was going to show Cole just how important he was to me.
“No problem,” I lied.
Then I walked over to my son and sat down. The sitting area had a couple of chairs, but I opted to sit on the bright, colorful rug in front of where my kid was seated. I looked up at him.
“Hello,” Cole said.
“Hello.”
“I like this area because people read here,” he told me.
“Do you like to read?”
“Sometimes,” he was looking at a book about two little bear cubs. Apparently, their bedroom was very messy, and their mother was upset about it.
“Have you read this book before?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s it about?”
Cole looked up at me and frowned.
“Haven’t you read this story?”
“Maybe a long time ago,” I shrugged. I vaguely remembered my own mother reading it to me when I was little. That had been a long time ago, though.
“It’s about two bears. Their room is messy, so they have to clean it.”
“I have a lot of experience cleaning messy rooms,” I told Cole.
“Is your bedroom messy?”
“A little,” I nodded.
“Mine too,” he smiled. “Mom says it’s okay if your room is a little messy.”
“Is that so?” I peered over at Ruby, who was standing tensely at the front counter. Oh, she looked so damn pretty, but she looked really, really wound up, too.
I was a little surprised she told sweet Cole his room could be messy, but I appreciated it, too. Kids didn’t need the stress of believing that their bedrooms always needed to be pristine. There needed to be room for flexibility, too, in my opinion.
“Yeah,” he nodded. He looked at his mom, too, and waved. Ruby smiled and waved back, and then she went back to her work.
“She’s a good mom,” I said quietly.
“Yes.”
“She takes good care of you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Cole?”
“What?”
“Does your mom ever talk about me?”
Cole looked up from the story and considered me carefully. I had the feeling that this kid was wildly smart and that he spent a lot of time just thinking about things.
“Yes.”
I waited.
Was he going to tell me anything else? Oh, my mind was running wild. I wanted to know if she said good things about me or mean things about me. Did she tell him that I had run off? Did she tell Cole that I had abandoned them?