by Sophie Stern
“Why do you want to know?”
So, Cole was protective of his mom.
Noted.
“I’m just curious.”
“You’re curious like a cat.”
“More like a bear, but sure.”
“I’m a bear, you know,” Cole turned back to his book.
“I heard that, buddy.”
“I really am,” Cole looked back up. His eyes blinked as he stared at me. He seemed to be worried that I wouldn’t believe him. “I can turn into a bear.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“And what do you think about that?”
“It’s fun,” a grin spread across his face.
“You want to know a secret?”
“Yes!”
I lowered my voice because I knew I probably shouldn’t be telling Cole this. Not right now. I found myself wanting to connect with him, though. I wanted to bond with the little cub. We had a lot of catching up to do, and I didn’t want to wait another minute.
“I’m a bear, too,” I told him.
“Wow,” Cole’s eyes twinkled as he looked up at me.
In that moment, I knew I’d done the right thing in coming back to find them. I’d definitely done the right thing.
4
Ruby
AT 5:00PM, I FLIPPED the front door’s sign from OPEN to CLOSED. Mr. and Mrs. Rossi wanted to meet with me right after we closed up, and they arrived precisely on time. They were wearing heavy jackets and hats, which let me know that the temperature had dropped since I’d arrived for work.
It was almost Christmastime, which meant the weather was unpredictable, wild, and mostly cold. When I’d arrived at work, however, the weather had been only mildly chilly, and Cole and I were each wearing only a sweater. Luckily, I had packed our winter coats in the car just to be safe.
Mr. and Mrs. Rossi took a look at Cole and then Dale, and I scrambled to figure out what I would say, but I was saved because Dale stepped forward. He smiled brightly and held out a hand. The guy definitely wasn’t lacking in the confidence department.
“I’m Dale,” he said, shaking each of their hands.
“Nice to meet you.”
“I’m Cole’s Dad. I just stopped by to pick up Cole and Ruby for dinner.”
Mr. and Mrs. Rossi looked at him curiously before turning back to me. They knew I was a single mother, but they’d never really asked any questions about it.
“Pleasure,” Mrs. Rossi finally said. Then, “Ruby, may we speak with you for a moment?”
“Absolutely.”
The three of us went to the back of the bookstore. There was a small breakroom with a table, a microwave, and a fridge there. I was the only one who ever used it, really, and I wasn’t even sure whether or not the fridge actually worked. I suspected it was just something that had broken down and been shoved in the back before being completely forgotten.
“We need to talk,” Mrs. Rossi said, sitting down across from me.
“Yes,” Mr. Rossi agreed.
“About the shop?”
They exchanged looks, and then they nodded.
I steeled myself, waiting. I had been saving up as much money as possible for the last few months because I’d had the sneaking suspicion that something strange or awkward or horrible was going to happen. I couldn’t really pinpoint why I felt that way, but I just had an inkling.
When you had a gut feeling, you needed to listen to it. I’d learned that a long time ago, and it had served me well. At least, when I decided to actually follow my gut. Just look at me and dale, for instance. I’d instantly known there was something different and wonderful about him, and apparently, I’d been right. He was a shapeshifter.
“We’re old,” Mr. Rossi said bluntly. He placed his hands on the table in front of him, and he looked at me, furrowing his brow.
“Not that old.”
“Pretty damn old,” he said. “Our son wants to buy the bookstore, and we want to retire.”
“That’s wonderful,” I nodded, feeling supportive. They deserved to retire if they were ready, and I’d met their son. He was a businessman and an entrepreneur. He’d do a great job with running the bookstore.
Mr. and Mrs. Rossi exchanged looks.
“He wants to completely revamp, remodel, and rebrand the shop,” Mrs. Rossi said.
“Okay?”
“He wants it to be a music store, bookstore, and café,” Mr. Rossi added. He smiled softly. I couldn’t tell whether he was feeling proud of whether he was feeling a bit forlorn, but I knew what was coming.
The bookstore would be changing. I wasn’t going to be a part of those changes. Mr. and Mrs. Rossi had been very good to me, and they’d been flexible with my need to care for Cole, but their son was driven. He was going to want to focus on driving up sales.
Having a single mom hanging out with her bear cub son probably wouldn’t be great for business. Besides, he probably wanted to do things like bring in younger employees who would make coffee and teach music lessons.
“You don’t have to say anything else,” I nodded, “I understand.”
I did, too. There were no hard feelings. I’d find something else. Someplace else. Honestly, now that I knew Cole was a shifter, I should probably focus on finding a shifter town for him to live in and to grow up in. Although the city we lived in was wonderful, it was close to a military base. People were always coming and going, and sometimes, that wasn’t a good thing.
We needed to find a place where we could settle down and just be. Cole deserved to be around other shifters who could support him as he grew up, and I needed to be around people who could help explain the changes my kid was going to go through. Maybe Dale would have some suggestions.
“The shop is going to be closed for a few months while he remodels,” Mrs. Rossi said carefully, “but he wants to bring in his own team from the city when he does reopen.”
“We’re so sorry to let you go this way,” Mr. Rossi said sadly. He shook his head, obviously torn about what was happening. It was okay, though. Nothing lasted forever. Even if they’d agreed to let me come back to work at the shop, I couldn’t afford to be without a job for a few months during the renovation. I just couldn’t. Cole was a growing bear, and we needed the money.
“I completely understand.”
“Today will be your last day,” Mrs. Rossi said, “but this is your severance check.”
She slid a piece of paper across the table, and I accepted it. I wasn’t about to turn down a severance check. I’d never been fired before, and I was surprised that it didn’t upset me as much as I thought it would.
“Thank you.”
“We thought we should go a big going-out-of-business sale,” Mr. Rossi said, glancing toward the door of the breakroom.
“Our son wanted to keep it quiet, though,” Mrs. Rossi added.
“When is he planning to start revamping?”
“Tomorrow,” Mrs. Rossi said.
“Wow, that’s fast.”
“Well, there’s something else...”
The couple exchanged concerned looks.
“What is it?”
“I have cancer,” Mr. Rossi said suddenly. “We’d been talking with Heath about taking over the store, but then I got the diagnosis last month. We wanted to keep things quiet, but I don’t know how much time I have left.”
“We’d like to spend his last remaining moments together, and not worrying about the store,” Mrs. Rossi looked at her husband and squeezed his hand softly. “It was time for us to retire, anyway. This just gives us a good excuse to actually go through with it.”
“I completely understand,” I said for what felt like the millionth time. My heart seemed to tighten, though. Mr. Rossi was sick? That certainly wasn’t fair.
Nobody deserved to get cancer, but some people deserve it even less than others.
“I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Mrs. Rossi smil
ed, but there was so much sadness behind her eyes. I knew that she and her husband had been together for many, many years. Some people might think that would make saying goodbye easier, but I just kind of thought it made everything seem harder.
Together, the three of us went back out to the front of the store. The couple was quiet as I loaded up all of my personal belongings into one of the shop’s paper bags. I kept a few pictures at work, as well as a few books to read when business was slow. They all went into the bag, along with my check.
“What are you doing, Mama?” Cole asked, looking over at me. His brow furrowed. He could tell something was wrong. I didn’t want him to worry, though.
“Just packing up,” I told him. “Come say goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Rossi, okay? This is everyone’s last day at work, Cole! Can you tell them thank-you for letting you hang out all week?”
“Thank you,” Cole said very solemnly. Mr. Rossi nodded his head, while his wife accepted Cole into her arms. She gave him the sweetest bear hugs, and after a few more pleasantries, I found myself outside of the shop with Dale and Cole.
“Last day?” Dale asked.
“Apparently, they’re closing shop. Mr. Rossi is...”
How could I say that he was going to die?
I didn’t really want to upset Cole. Death was a part of life, but this would be the first time someone Cole knew personally had passed away. I wanted to soften it, but I didn’t want to hide this from him.
“Mr. Rossi is very sick,” I finally said.
“Is he going to die?” Cole asked immediately. I sighed and bit my lip. Well, crap.
Dale waited patiently, trying to see what I would do.
As a parent, it was hard to raise a kid in a way that was safe and comfortable and appropriate. One of the biggest things I’d learned since having Cole was that life wasn’t very safe. It wasn’t comfortable. Certainly, it wasn’t appropriate.
“Yes,” I finally said.
“Is it going to hurt?”
“I don’t think so,” I told him honestly. I took Cole’s hand and squeezed. “Mr. Rossi has cancer. He’s going to spend some time with his wife before it’s time for him to die.”
“Can we see him again?”
“I think he just wants to be with his family right now, kiddo, but you could send him a card. I’ll help you make one, okay?”
“Okay,” Cole nodded.
Dale was still watching me carefully. We were still standing outside of the shop, and as I suspected, it was chilly outside. We needed to get going. Our jackets were in the car, and I wanted to go home. I wanted to go make some soup, curl up on the couch, and feel sorry for myself that I would have to go through the process of finding a new job.
“What is it?” I asked him.
“You handled that really well.”
Did I? It didn’t feel like it.
“I do my best.”
“I love my mom, but she would have lied to me about something like that.”
“Someone once told me that if you lie to kids, they won’t trust you when they’re older. I don’t know if it’s true, but I try to be as honest as possible when it comes to raising Cole.”
“You’re doing a damn good job.”
“Thanks.”
I rubbed my shoulders nervously, still a little cold.
“So, you don’t still live around here,” I told him.
“I do not.”
“You drove all this way.”
“I did.”
“Um,” I wasn’t sure what was appropriate. Should I ask him to come home with us for dinner? I probably should, right? I opened my mouth and closed it twice. In the end, Cole saved me the trouble.
“Are you coming over?”
Dale looked at me and then back to Cole. He nodded. There was no hesitation, and I kind of loved that.
“Absolutely, I am,” he nodded. “I’d love that.”
“Good,” Cole nodded. Then he turned to me. “Mom, what are we having?”
Soup no longer seemed appropriate.
“I...um...pizza?”
“Okay,” Cole nodded happily.
“Um,” I turned back to Dale, “do you want to follow me to my house?”
“I’d be honored,” he nodded.
I nodded, too, wildly uncomfortable, but also wildly excited. Dale was here. He was here and he was coming over for dinner, and we were going to talk. I didn’t know what we were going to say, and maybe it wasn’t anything I should be feeling excited about, but I was.
I was.
AFTER A BIG SUPPER of double pepperoni pizza and breadsticks, I gave Cole a bath and tucked him in for bed with his plush bear.
“Mom?”
“Yeah, kiddo?”
“I like him,” Cole smiled.
“Yeah,” I swallowed hard. That was good. It was good that Cole liked his father. “Me too.”
I did, too. I liked Dale a lot more than I should have: a lot more than I was supposed to. So many memories came rushing back to me. We’d only been together that one night, but somehow, it had imprinted on my damn soul.
Cole closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. I waited for a moment before I turned to leave. I paused at the door and looked over at him. He’d done great today. He’d been totally well-behaved and calm and accepting. It was more than I could have asked for.
After a minute, I finally took a deep breath. It was time to face the music. In my case, it was time to face the consequences of my actions even though I really, really didn’t want to. I tip-toed downstairs to where Dale was sitting on the couch.
He was leaning back comfortably flipping through one of the books I’d left on the coffee table, and he looked up at me when I walked in. Damn, he was cute. It was hard not to keep thinking about how totally cute he was. I definitely didn’t deserve a guy like this.
“Beer?” I asked him.
“Please.”
I grabbed two from the fridge and brought them over. We tapped the ends of the bottles together before chugging them. There was no gentle, polite sipping to be had, which was good. I wanted a buzz for the conversation we were about to have.
Damn, it had been a long day.
“He’s a good kid,” Dale said finally.
“He really is.”
“You’re a great mom.”
“Thanks. I definitely try my best.”
“I was fucking shocked to get your letter,” Dale told me, setting his empty bottle down on the coffee table beside the books. I cringed. It was time to have that talk, huh?
Well, I had been hiding for years. My time had run up. Now I had to face the fact that I’d not only avoided Dale for years, but I’d finally broken the news to him through a damn letter. He deserved better than that.
“Yeah...I probably should have told you sooner, huh?”
“Probably,” he nodded, but he didn’t seem mad or angry.
Why not?
“You aren’t mad?”
“I am,” he said.
“You aren’t yelling, though.”
“What kind of assholes have you been dating?” Dale’s eyes narrowed. “A man shouldn’t yell when he’s upset. That’s no way to treat a lady.”
That’s what he thought of me, I realized.
He thought I was a lady.
“I know,” I agreed quickly, turning back to my beer. “I know.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Dale reached for my chin and turned it toward himself. The gesture was intimate, but not forceful.
“Your question?”
“What kind of assholes have you been dating?”
“Who says I’ve been dating assholes?”
“It’s a simple question, darling,” he stroked my cheek softly. I closed my eyes, enjoying the touch. Oh, I’d missed being touched like this.
“I’ve only had a few short relationships,” I murmured quietly.
“You’ve been busy.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Anyone special?�
��
Had there been anyone special?
Well, there had been Laney, who was a total sweetheart, but she’d wanted to get married and I just wasn’t ready. Then there had been Carl, who I’d gone on exactly three dates with, but he’d wanted to move in with me, and again, I wasn’t ready. Then Lucy had come along, and she’d been sweet, but she hadn’t been Dale.
None of them had been Dale.
“I’ve dated a few people, but nobody that really stands out.”
I sipped the last drops of my beer before I placed my empty bottle beside his on the coffee table.
“I haven’t dated many people either,” Dale told me quietly.
“You haven’t?”
“Truth be told, I’ve been having a rough go of it.”
“Money problems?”
He laughed. He actually laughed!
“Fuck, no,” he shook his head. “Nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
“Matt died.”
His roommate. Jake’s ex-boyfriend.
“I remember Jake telling me that he went to the funeral,” I said quietly.
I hadn’t gone. I hadn’t had anyone to watch Cole, and I didn’t feel right bringing a baby to a memorial service. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but I didn’t think I’d be able to get Cole to sit still throughout the service. He was just a tiny little thing when Matt passed away. I didn’t want him to cry and distract people who were mourning.
Jake had gone, and he’d told me about it, and I’d sent a donation to a charity that Matt liked in his honor.
“Yeah, well, I may have seen him there. I don’t really remember much about that day,” Dale smiled sadly.
“He was a good man,” I said. Jake had been devastated by his death. Matt had died unexpectedly in a car accident. It was a tragedy, and everyone knew it, but there was nothing that could be done.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Did you name Cole after him?”
I looked at Dale and raised an eyebrow.
“Is that weird to you?”
“A little.”
I shrugged.
“Why?”