True Beauty

by Shelia E. (Lipsey) Bell

  They half-smiled.

  “Thing is, I have never forgiven myself. Instead, I’ve been taking out my resentment, my anger, my frustration, all of it, out on my children. They didn’t ask to be here, but they are here, and they’re mine, and I love them. But I’ve been angry for so long, and hurt for so long, that I dumped on them.” Kacie gestured.

  Envy and Layla continued to stare at Kacie, while the kids, surprisingly, played with each other in a quiet and civilized manner.

  “How can I begin to be angry at Kenny, even Jackie for that matter, if I’m guilty of the same thing myself? It’s not right to tell them, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ I need to be an example for my children. And if I’m going to be an example for them, it finally got through my thick skull today that”—Kacie pointed at her head, and Kali and Keith giggled. “I have to get things right between me and God, so I recommitted my life to Him. No more dropping Kenny off to Super Wednesday. No, me and all of my kids will be coming to Bible Study as a family. I’m not going through another minute, day, hour, or year being less than the woman of God I know lives inside me.”

  “Wow, did you get all of that from Pastor Betts’ message?” asked Envy. Envy looked at Layla, who stood next to her.

  Layla’s mouth was open wide.

  “Close your mouth, Layla,” said Kacie before she started giggling. “Unless you’re going to open it up and start using that amazing singing voice of yours.” Immediately, before either Envy or Layla could say another word, Kacie showed the palm of her hand. “Before you think it, let me set the record straight. I am not trying to get all religious on y’all; I’m just telling you what happened in my life today.” Kacie placed her hand over her chest. “I’m not one to judge y’all.” She eyed the both of them. “Y’all have always been by my side, and I love you.”

  “Awww,” said Envy.

  “Ohhhh, you gonna make me cry,” said Layla.

  Kenny came out of the nursery with Keshena and Kyland in tow.

  “Y’all are so crazy,” said Kacie. “Anyway, let me go. I need to go home and cook.”

  Kenny came and stood next to Kacie. “Momma, you’re going to cook?” asked Kenny, with a huge smile on his face.

  “Yes, I sure am.”

  Kenny rubbed his belly and licked his lips.

  “Boy, you’re so silly. You act like I never cook,” she said to him. “Come on, y’all.” She reached her hand out toward her children, and then started to walk away from Envy and Layla.

  Kacie turned, stopped, and looked over her shoulder to find Envy and Layla right behind her. “Y’all are welcome to come over. It’s not like you need an invitation, you know.”

  “No, I believe you need this time with your children,” said Envy.

  “Yea, I think so. I have a feeling it’s going to be totally different, but a good kind of different.” Layla leaned in and hugged Kacie.

  Envy copied. “I’m proud of you. What you did and what you’ve said today, well, I know that I have a lot of soul searching to do myself.”

  “As long as you know that you’re welcome to come over,” Kacie reiterated.

  “We know,” added Envy. I’ll call you later.”

  They walked outside and said their good-byes to each other and some of the other church members who were gathered in the parking lot. The sun was shining bright, and the cold weather was slowly turning into what felt like an early spring coming on. It was a good day for Kacie and her children.

  Envy went to her car and Layla went to hers. If any change was in the air for the two of them, it was hidden and not yet ready to come out.

  19

  Don’t say you love me unless you mean it

  because I might do something stupid . . . like believe it!

  Tyreek pulled up in Layla’s driveway. He exhaled a long sigh of contentment. Layla was different from any woman he had encountered. In the six weeks they’d been seeing each other, he had enjoyed every conversation and every moment they shared.

  He was more than glad that he changed his cell phone number, and that Envy hadn’t bothered to come calling on him at Precious Cargo. Maybe she’d finally gotten the message that the time was up for her pleasure-seeking games. He was fed up with allowing her to use him. It had been fun for a while, but he could bed just about any woman he wanted; and a few years ago, that’s exactly what he’d done.

  He used to pride himself on the number of women he seduced. But, when Envy came along, his playa card got played and quickly boomeranged when he fell hard for her. It didn’t take long for him to realize that Envy Wilson was not the type of woman that a man could sweep off her feet. Instead, he was the one who succumbed to her each time she called.

  Almost three years of being no more than one booty call after another, he couldn’t blame anyone but himself for allowing it to happen. He felt trapped by Envy. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly about her, but the more he saw her the more he wanted to see her.

  The day Layla walked into Precious Cargo, things changed. Tyreek spotted Layla out of a small clan of women accompanying her. Her beauty immediately pulled him in. After the server seated Layla and her friends, he continued to watch her from the bar. When she stood up and left her friends and approached the bar, he knew that he was going to do everything in his power to get to know her, unless her conversation didn’t measure up to her looks. He walked to the end of the bar, where she leaned over on one elbow, waiting on the bartender, which fortunately was him. He asked her what drink she desired and smiled within when she ordered a ginger ale on the rocks. She had an air of calm and self-confidence that he liked. They carried on a conversation as he mixed drinks for other customers and then returned to her. By the time she got ready to leave, she had agreed to meet him later that night at the end of his shift. Since that time, he and Layla had hung out as much as possible.

  Now here he was tonight, about to spend another evening with the woman who was swiftly capturing a portion of him. Layla made him smile and laugh. Thus far, she had refused to submit to his sexual advances, which made him respect her even more. The fact was, the more time he spent with Layla, the more he wanted to spend time with her. It had been a while since he’d taken the time to wine and dine a woman. Layla, helped him rediscover how having a woman to do things with could be fun.

  Going to a Maxwell concert at the Orpheum Theatre was something Tyreek wasn’t used to doing. Then again, every time he was with Layla, they did something different. Last week, they had enjoyed having a romantic dinner at the Tower Center. Earlier in the same week, they spent the evening enjoying downtown Memphis, Beale Street, and watching the entrance of the Peabody Ducks at the Peabody Hotel. Tyreek believed the two of them fit together like a hand in a glove. He walked up to Layla’s door and rang the bell. She answered the door within moments. To Tyreek, she looked breathtaking.

  “Hi,” she said.

  He couldn’t contain his smile. His gaze was steady as he barely heard her tell him to come inside.

  “Baby, you look uh grown and sexy.” He grinned.

  “Thank you,” she said in a silky voice. Her beet red dress, with a V-neckline, fitted waist, and bubble hem, rested just above her knees.

  Tyreek inhaled the sweet, sensuous aroma of her perfume. His eyes sent her a private message as he studied her from head to toe. She had covered every detail, from the earrings to the red peep-toe stilettos. It all enhanced the sexiness that dripped from her like nectar.

  “You ready?” she asked.

  “Uh, yes.” He felt quite satisfied in his button-down shirt, jeans, blazer, and Cole Haan loafers. “Man, am I glad the weather turned out nice. It feels like a spring night outside.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m glad too. The groundhog didn’t see his shadow, so spring will be here before you know it.” Layla laughed and picked up her purse and a light jacket. “I’m still taking this jacket, just in case. You know how unpredictable Memphis weather tends to be.”

  “Yeah, I feel you on that
one.”

  “Oh, I didn’t tell you, but you look handsome.”

  “Thanks, and, um, flattery will get you everything you want, and some more,” Tyreek said teasingly. He escorted her outside with her hand in his and stood next to her as she locked the door.

  ~

  “I love me some Maxwell. The man can hum,” Layla said as they left the Orpheum. “I don’t care how many times I see him; he gets better and better.”

  “Yeah, I could tell you were into him. I have to admit, it was a good concert. I had a great time. I’m glad you suggested it.”

  Layla blushed and glanced at his well-defined profile. She basked in the feeling of Tyreek’s hand as it covered hers. He was affectionate without being overbearing. Unlike Dennis, he acted like he enjoyed doing the same things she did. There was no way she could ever convince Dennis to go to a concert, play, or anything close to having fun. Dennis reminded her of an older, settled man rather than the thirty-five-year-old that he was.

  As for Tyreek, he was ready, willing, and able. Having part ownership in Precious Cargo was definitely working in his favor as far as Layla could tell, because money never seemed to be a problem when they went out. Layla liked that about him. All she had to do was mention a spot where she wanted to go, and Tyreek was all for it.

  On the drive to Ruth’s Chris Steak House for dinner, Tyreek reached over and rested his hand on Layla’s thigh. She didn’t object. They hadn’t been intimate, but the time they spent together hadn’t been exactly squeaky clean either.

  Layla enjoyed his touch. He didn’t try to go further, which pleased Layla mentally, though physically she longed to be held captive in his arms. But this time she was going to play her cards right by fighting her own battle of personal restraint. She wanted to see where their relationship was heading. No more giving up the cookies for free. She had morals and she was determined to return to exercising them. But she did admit to Kacie and Envy that she was falling for him.

  Kacie seemed ecstatic, but Layla thought about Envy’s negative responses just about every time she started talking about Tyreek. Either Envy told her she was moving too fast, or that she shouldn’t trust him. Why couldn’t Envy be happy for her instead of pressuring her to run back to Dennis?

  Every moment Layla was with Tyreek assured her that she had done the right thing by putting space between herself and Dennis. Envy and Kacie would have no choice but to accept the decisions she made for her life—like it or not.

  “What are you sitting over there thinking about?” asked Tyreek when he glanced over at Layla.

  “About the good times we’ve had together,” she answered, and returned his look with one of her own. “I think my two best friends are jealous,” she blurted out.

  “Were those your girlfriends who you were with at Precious Cargo?”

  “No, those were coworkers from the salon. Remember?”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. I guess we’ve never talked about your best friends. Are they as beautiful and sweet as you?” asked Tyreek as he continued to keep his eyes on the road.

  “They’re awright,” Layla said, and laughed.

  “Uh-huh, is that right?” Tyreek chuckled too. “I know why they’re jealous. Just look at you,” he said. “You’ve got it going on, baby girl.”

  “No, seriously, they’re not jealous. I was just kidding. They’re my girls. The three of us have each other’s backs, no matter what. We’ve been best friends for a long time. You may get a chance to meet them one day−if you act right.”

  “I’m going to take that as a good sign. Whenever I meet them, I’ll know that I’ve scored some major points with you. Am I right?” he asked.

  “I guess you could say that.” Layla smiled.

  “Good, then I can’t wait to meet ’em.”

  Tyreek stopped as the traffic light turned to red. He leaned over and his lips pressed against Layla’s and gently covered her mouth. His kiss sent the pit of her stomach into a wild swirl, and a sound of satisfaction escaped from her lips.

  Layla relaxed her head back against the car’s headrest. At that moment, she admitted to herself that her vow not to become seriously involved with a man right now had been shattered. She was falling hard for Tyreek; and the more she tried to ignore the truth, the more it persisted.

  They pulled up into the crowded parking lot of Ruth’s Chris. Tyreek waited to get a parking space, and quickly secured one when he saw another car backing out of a space. He put the car in park and turned it off. He leaned in again and gave Layla another passionate kiss. When he pulled away this time, he touched the side of her face with the back of his hand. “Your lips feel like cotton, and they’re sweet like candy,” he said as he released a long, audible breath.

  Layla stared at him for a second or two before she burst out in laughter.

  “What’s up?” Tyreek asked. He had a puzzled look on his face.

  “You have to admit that sounded a little corny,” she said while still giggling.

  Tyreek laughed too. “Hey, I’m telling you the truth.”

  “I didn’t say that you weren’t telling the truth; I said it sounded corny.”

  “That’s why I like you,” Tyreek said.

  “Why?” asked Layla.

  “’Cause you’re not only gorgeous, you’re funny. You keep me laughing.”

  They kissed again.

  “Come on, let’s go inside before they give our reservation to somebody else,” Layla said. A genuine smile was still settled across her face.

  Tyreek got out of the car while Layla waited for him to come to her side and open the door. She liked the little things like this that Tyreek took the time to do. He was so considerate.

  Tyreek escorted Layla inside the restaurant. He gave the maître d’ his name and they were quickly escorted to their table.

  Tonight Tyreek couldn’t deny the obvious any longer. He really liked Layla, and he wanted to get to know as much as possible about her.

  20

  People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.

  Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

  The morning sun shone bright like a crystal on what was a clear, spring day and Envy’s favorite season. She opened her eyes barely an inch so as not to allow the sun’s brightness to pull her out of her second round of sleep prematurely. Instead, she threw her right hand out and hit snooze on the alarm clock before falling back on her pillow and closing her eyes. Five minutes later, the alarm went off again. This time she stretched, yawned, and forced herself out of bed.

  She ambled toward the bathroom with the brightness of the sun providing God’s natural light to most of her bedroom.

  “Oh, thank you, Lord.” Fischer barked, wagged his tail, and jumped up and down. “Fisch-errrr,” she sang. “Let me go pee, and then I’ll put on my gear and take you out. You would think by now, you would know the routine.” She stepped inside the bathroom. Before closing the door, she told Fischer, “You’re just like a man. You always want what you want, when you want it. Well, you should know me by now. I’m in charge. Now be patient, I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Fischer cocked his head to the side and plopped down on his butt as Envy closed the bathroom door.

  ~

  “It feels good out here, doesn’t it, boy?” Envy jogged with Fischer on his leash. The thirty-minute morning ritual through the neighborhood was part of Envy’s way of preparing for whatever the day might bring. It had been going on two weeks since she last talked to Casper. The criminal trial he was trying took up a great deal of his time. He was out of the office all day, almost every day. His assistant informed Envy that the closing arguments were supposed to start today. Envy had mixed emotions about it. The longer Casper put her case off, the more she wrestled with thoughts of going to jail. It didn’t matter that Casper told her about the odds of her going to jail were slim to none, or about the expired statute of limitations. Envy still refused to erase the possibility.

&
nbsp; Envy understood her company’s policies and procedures and was well versed in what would happen, other than losing her job, if she was imprisoned. She had a nice, hefty nest egg that would carry her for a couple of years easily.

  On her way to the office, her thoughts gelled even more. She would rent out her part of the duplex, which would give her extra ongoing income. Layla, maybe even Nikkei, could look after Fischer. Perhaps, if push came to shove, Leonard would do it.

  Leonard, I haven’t talked to him and he hasn’t called lately, she thought like it had just dawned on her. And Tyreek, oh, Mr. Tyreek. I will see you today. Bet you think I let you off the hook. Not.

  At work, Envy spent most of the morning working on several regulatory projects for one of her company’s offices based in the United Kingdom. She didn’t have a designated lunchtime, but she usually tried to leave the office for at least an hour every day. Today she was going to make a surprise visit to Tyreek. She still had a hard time believing that he had changed his phone number. It only added fuel to the fire, and Envy was determined to let him know that she was the one who did the walking away, not him.

  As for Leonard, she was somewhat concerned about not hearing from him. She made a note on her phone notes to give him a call. It was time she gave him a little attention. He was probably somewhere nursing his wounds because she didn’t want to make a commitment to being his lady.

  “Darcy,” she said to her new administrative assistant, “I’m going to run an errand.”

  “Yes, Miss Wilson.”

  “You can reach me on my work cell phone, but only if it’s a dire emergency.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I know.”

  “Fine. I’ll see you later this afternoon.”

  Bobbie, Envy’s former administrative assistant had been with her for several years. It was a surprise when she told Envy she bidded on a lateral position in another department.

  “Do what you feel you have to do,” she coldly told the administrative assistant, and the woman did just that. Within two weeks of bidding on the position, Bobbie was gone, and Envy was assigned a temporary administrative assistant, until HR gathered potential qualified candidates. Darcy, who already worked for the company, got the position. Working for Envy was a promotion for her; so things had worked out really well. Darcy was easygoing and eager to please. Envy had no problem keeping her just where she wanted—under her thumb.