True Beauty

by Shelia E. (Lipsey) Bell

  “Yeah, I guess, come on. I’ll be waiting.”

  Layla got up from bed and went to find something to put on. Tyreek sounded serious, even worried. What had Envy done? If she told him about Dennis or led him to believe that she was involved with Dennis, she would never speak to her again. She had already caused enough damage as it was, but telling Tyreek her personal business was way off base.

  Layla slipped on a pair of chocolate leggings and an oversized thigh-length white shirt, with chocolate abstract designs. She put on a pair of slides, then brushed her teeth and rinsed out her mouth. What could he have to tell me? She didn’t know how to sort out her feelings. She called Kacie again.

  As soon as Kacie said, “Hello,” Layla let loose.

  “Girl, Tyreek just called. He’s on his way over here.”

  “Whaaat? Girl, do you think that’s a good idea? You don’t want to put yourself in a position to fall weak to him. What can he possibly want at this time of night anyway other than some booty?”

  “Naw, listen. He said he has to tell me something about him meeting Envy. He said he needs to see me face-to-face, that it’s not something that can be talked about over the phone. So I told him he could come. I need to hear what he has to say, Kacie. Believe me, nothing else is going to happen. But Envy is messing with my life for some reason or other, and I need to know what she said to Tyreek. It’s like she’s gone loco.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on. Look, still be cautious. I have to get in touch with Envy. She must really be flipping out. I already tried calling her when I hung up from talking to you the first time, but she didn’t answer. She probably knows that you called and told me what she said.”

  “Yeah, she probably does.” Layla spoke with light bitterness resonating in her voice. “But, Kacie, if she’s said anything, and I mean anything to him about my personal business, or told this man something that can mess things up for me, I’m telling you now that I’m not going to have anything else to do with her ever again.”

  “Hold up, Layla. Wait to see what he has to say before you start talking like that.”

  “I’m just telling you. She’s going to make me hurt her.”

  “Call me after—”

  “Kacie, the doorbell is ringing. That’s him. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Layla hung up the phone and went to answer the door.

  “Hi, Tyreek,” Layla said. He looked tired, and a frown was on his face.

  “What’s up, baby?” Layla asked as she stepped aside to let him in and then closed the door behind him.

  Tyreek walked up behind her and swallowed her in his arms. He spoke slowly in her ear. “You smell sweet. But I am not going to let your sweetness be my weakness.”

  Layla clung to his arms and rested her head against his chest. Suddenly her head popped up. “What do you mean?”

  Tyreek took a deep breath; his body stiffened; he released his grip on Layla. “We need to talk. We need to talk now.”

  Layla turned around and faced him. “Why do you look so . . . well, so tense all of a sudden?”

  He took hold of Layla’s hand and led her to the sofa; they sat down. Tyreek looked directly into her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re Envy’s best friend?”

  Layla drew back her neck. “What?”

  “You heard me. Why did I have to find out from her that y’all are best friends?” Tyreek jumped up off the sofa. His composure disappeared without warning and he blew up. “I should have known you were too good to be true. All of this time, I’m believing you’re different, when you’re another Envy. What did y’all do? Sit around and scheme on me?”

  A confused look washed over Layla’s face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Y’all trying to see which one could make the bigger fool out of me?”

  He was beginning to make her mad too with his false accusations against her. What in the world had Envy said?

  Layla stood up. “Look, I have had just about enough of people coming to me with one lie after another. I do not appreciate you coming to my house accusing me of something that I know nothing about. If anything, I should be the one asking the questions, because why would you believe anything someone has told you—especially someone you don’t know, over me?”

  “I do know her, but you already know that.”

  “What?” Layla placed both hands on her hips and bit on her lip. “Tyreek, I do not, and let me repeat this to you, I do not have time for your games. If you have something to say, say it, because what you’ve said so far doesn’t mean a thing to me. Envy is my best friend, which is all she could have told you.”

  “See, I knew it. You know she came and showed out, huh? She told me that you knew about me and her.”

  “You? And Envy?” She felt her fists forming. Her chest felt like it was about to explode. Anger lit up in her eyes. “Are you saying that you’ve been dipping and dabbing around with my best friend? Is that what you’re saying? And now you’re up in here trying to make this my fault?”

  “Look, don’t pretend you didn’t know about me and Envy,” he retaliated.

  “Get out of here!” Layla pointed toward her door. “Beat it!” she screamed again. “No wonder she’s been acting like a darn fool. It’s because the two of you have something going on.”

  Tyreek stared at her, baffled. “You really don’t know, do you?” His voice dropped. “What has she done?”

  “What has who done?” Layla asked, standing with one hand on her hip and the other hand on the doorknob. “You better start making some sense, brother. And you better do it now.”

  “I’m—I’m sorry, Layla. When she came to Precious Cargo, she told me that—that.” Tyreek mumbled. His head hung down and his shoulders slouched. “I should have known.”

  Layla turned the doorknob loose. “Look, I’m going to ask you one more time to talk to me like you got some sense or you better get to stepping. I don’t have time for your dramatics, and I’ve had enough of Envy’s foolishness.”

  “Layla, I didn’t know that you and Envy knew each other until the other day. I promise I didn’t. But right now, I need you to listen. I’ll make this right. Please.”

  Layla remained silent. She felt numb like she was afraid to question what was written on his face.

  “Layla.” He walked over to her. “I’m sorry.” He spoke slow and deliberate. “I had no right to come in here the way I did. I didn’t give you a chance. I just assumed you were part of Envy’s sick mind games.”

  “Well, I’m not.” Layla folded her arms and stared at Tyreek. “Keep talking,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t reveal the hurt forming on the inside.

  “Remember when I told you that I was involved with a woman that I really liked but she used me?”

  Layla placed her hands over her ears. “I do not want to hear it. I do not want to hear it,” she repeated. A bevy of tears immediately formed in her eyes before they poured down her face like a raging river.

  “You waltz in here and go off on me without telling me what this was all about, and it turns out that you and Envy are the ones that are diabolical and—and plain, plain ole . . . get out.” Layla opened the door.

  Tyreek closed the door. “I can’t leave until I tell you everything. I knew Envy was jealous and controlling, but I had no idea she would try to hurt her own best friend.” Tyreek reached out toward Layla, but she moved back.

  “Do not touch me. And don’t you dare stand here and tell me the woman was Envy.”

  Tyreek was silent.

  “It really is her, isn’t it?” Layla asked like a light bulb had been turned on in her head.

  Tyreek nodded.

  “Wow, how crazy is this? Now I understand why she’s been acting the way she has.” Layla paused. Suddenly like an epiphany had hit her upside the head she said, “It all makes sense, now that I think about it. When I first mentioned your name, that’s when her attitude changed. Instead of acting like she was happy for me, she didn’t sh
ow much emotion at all. And Dennis, she wanted Dennis to know. She wanted to hurt me.”

  “Who’s Dennis? Now I’m lost.”

  “Dennis is the man I was seeing when I met you.”

  “So you’ve been involved with another man all along? Is it the guy you said was only a friend? Because you made it clear that the two of you were not an item.”

  Layla nodded. “He is a friend, except he . . . he used to be more than a friend.”

  Tyreek hit the top of his head and looked away from Layla. “How did I fall for all of this? Man, you and Envy are a piece of work—a real piece of work. I’ve been used all of this time. What is it like, Layla?”

  Layla continued to cry. Her voice quavered as she tried to speak. “Don’t you dare try to put this on me. I had no idea you and Envy had anything going on—until now. Yes, I was seeing Dennis, but when I met you, I realized that I was not in love with him. And I hadn’t been in some time. So I fessed up; I told him that I wasn’t in love with him. But the man was there for me when I really needed someone in my life, besides my girlfriends. There was no need to tell you any more than what I told you about Dennis, because I didn’t know how things were going to turn out between us. I’ve been a fool too many times, Tyreek, and I wasn’t about to be a fool again, no matter how much I was starting to care about you. And I’m glad I know now what kind of man you are—you’re nothing but a deceiver.”

  “Me?” he hollered. “How can you stand here and call me a deceiver?” Both of his hands flew up in the air. “I was straight with you. I told you in the very beginning how I felt about you. I told you that there had been another woman in my life. I’ve never lied once during the time we’ve been seeing each other. No, I didn’t tell you her name because I didn’t think it was necessary. Boy, was I wrong, especially after Envy came to the restaurant and told me about you being her best friend, and that she had been giving you pointers about how to nab me. She had me going. After listening to her, I really thought she plotted with you to make a fool out of me. Can you imagine how stupid I feel?”

  “No, I can’t, Tyreek. Can you imagine how you’ve made me feel?”

  “I imagine that we’ve hurt each other, baby. I imagine that Envy has lived up to her name. That’s what I imagine. She’s been so used to me being at her every beck and call, but that was before you came into my life. Sounds like we’ve both been had.” Tyreek inched toward Layla. This time she didn’t move away.

  Tyreek embraced her. “I’m sorry, baby.” He held her against his chest while he stroked her hair. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  Layla slowly lifted her head and their eyes locked. “Envy has some serious problems going on in her life. I didn’t really understand the depth of them until now. Part of me is to blame for what happened too.”

  Tyreek wiped her tears with the back of his hand. “We’ve both made mistakes. I should have left Envy alone when she made it clear to me that I was only good for one thing in her life. I used to fool myself into believing that one day she’d realize that she was in love with me. But it never happened. It was just a pipe dream.” Tyreek continued to stroke Layla’s hair. “Then something amazing happened.”

  “What?” she whispered.

  “You came along and changed my life. You’re beautiful, so easy to talk to, so kind, so sweet, and so compassionate. You’re special to me. You make me laugh. You make me believe that I can be a better person and a better man.”

  “What! I do all of that?” Layla stepped out of his arms and squinted her eyes. “I must really have it going on,” she said with a mixture of laughter replacing tears.

  “See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about.” Tyreek laughed. “Come on, woman, will you let me be serious?”

  “Yes, I’ll let you be serious.” She took a deep breath and prepared herself to listen.

  “Layla, what I want to say is . . . I know it hasn’t been a long time, but it doesn’t matter to me. I got some feelings for you. I mean some real deep feelings, girl.” He kissed Layla with passion and desire. When he pulled away, he said, “I just want you to tell me you feel the same.”

  “I do.”

  “You—you do?” His eyes scanned her face like he was searching for the truth.

  “Yes, I really like you.” They kissed again and embraced each other tightly.

  23

  Jealousy contains more of self-love than of love.

  Envy turned off her cell phone and rested back in the crook of Leonard’s biceps.

  “Wasn’t that Layla?” Leonard asked.

  “Yep.”

  “What was that all about? Is everything all right?” asked Leonard. “Sounds like that was a nasty catfight.”

  Envy remained quiet for several minutes. She was breathing a little heavy and her face was flushed.

  Leonard asked. “You all right?”

  Envy nodded.

  “Can I get you something?”

  Envy shook her head. “Naw, I’m good,” she finally said. “It’s just that I’m so mad right now. Layla’s been tripping a lot lately. She and Dennis have been having problems because she’s stepping out on him, and I guess he found out. And in that warped mind of hers, she’s blaming me.”

  “Y’all have been tight too long to let some he said, she said mess come between your friendship.”

  “I know. And it’s nothing that won’t work itself out eventually.” Envy turned over in the bed until she was face-to-face with Leonard. “No need to talk about it now. I’ll tell you all about that another time. But I have to admit, I am furious that Layla had the audacity to call me and call herself going off on me. She’s so uppity, and all of a sudden, she has this thing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like she’s better than me and Kacie or something.” She gave him a quick glance. “The girl has brain damage if you ask me. Maybe when Mike shot her, it affected her mind or something. All I know is she got some serious issues.”

  “Well, there’s one thing you don’t have to worry about.” Leonard lowered his head and his mouth touched hers.

  “What was that for?” Envy smiled.

  “Because.”

  “Because what?”

  “Because.” He kissed her. “You’re beautiful. Let me reassure you there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, Layla can do to change that. And you can’t blame her for being jealous. I mean, she’s lost a lot of weight, a whole lot, but she’ll never be as beautiful as you.”

  “Leonard, you’re so sweet.”

  “I’m only speaking the truth,” he said, and picked up where he left off with feathery kisses over her body.

  Envy smiled. Leonard was right. Why was she allowing the likes of Layla to get under her skin? So what if Tyreek was smitten by Layla? She still had him first, and if she really wanted him, she could have him back in her bed before either he or Layla saw it coming. Layla probably wasn’t giving him what he craved, and that was sex. And even if she was giving it up, Layla couldn’t compare to her in the bedroom. Either way, Tyreek would soon grow tired of Layla’s goody two shoes fake attitude, and then he would want to come crawling back. But Envy made up her mind, while Leonard was doing all he could to satisfy her that Tyreek was a has-been.

  He’d lost out on her goodness. No way did she go behind any female. She sighed, and Leonard took it as a sign that he was pleasing her. But Envy knew it was because she had won the game; it was only a matter of time before Tyreek and Layla realized it.

  Envy focused back on Leonard. His touch brought her mind and body back to the bedroom. He lifted her hands to his shoulders, and Envy clung to him. His eyes met hers, filled with desire. It seemed as if fire was racing through every nerve of her body. Only if she could experience true love and not purely sexual gratification, but she could not. She had far too much baggage.

  In the privacy of her own heart, Envy did admit one thing: if she could ever love anyone, that man would be Leonard. But falling in love was never part of her game plan in h
er adult life. She was fascinated by having fun and satisfying her sexual craving.

  She understood the Bible said it was better to marry than to burn with passion, but she couldn’t see herself walking down the aisle. No way was she going to give a man the chance to desert her the way her father deserted her mother. She was not going to chance having another man leave her the way Stanton had done. That kind of pain was unbearable and undeserved. Better to be safe than sorry. This was an issue God, Himself, would have to come down, knock on her door, and tell her that He wanted her to stop what she was doing. Until that happened, she would do what she had to do, which was repent, ask God for forgiveness—until the next time.

  Envy lay spent in Leonard’s arms. She listened to his labored breathing. She began to pray the prayer that only she and God knew word for word. “Lord, you said if I confess my sins, you were faithful and just to forgive me of my sins, and to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. Well, I confess to you right now the sinful act I have just committed. I can’t stop unless you help me, Father. I need you to intervene if you truly want me to make a change in my life. Until that time comes, forgive me, for I have sinned again. Amen.

  Envy nestled closer to Leonard. Without opening his eyes, he turned back toward her and kissed her on her forehead. He gathered and squeezed her in his arms and they went for round two.

  24

  Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

  The past weeks since she had rededicated her life to God, there was a remarkable improvement in the lives of Kacie and her children.

  Kenny’s attitude could have led him down a road of trouble and perhaps destruction, but God had heard the prayer of His children. The youth group Kenny was involved in at church was something he loved being part of. He had learned a lot about being a young man in Christ. It was during the midweek youth ministry’s Bible Study that Kenny gave his life to Christ, accepted God as his Lord and Savior, and was baptized.

  Kacie was more patient and had not laid a hand on any of her children in an abusive manner. She still believed spare the rod, spoil the child, but she didn’t discipline them in the harsh manner she used to do. If she thought about it, she hadn’t had to use disciplinary tactics lately because now she and her kids spent more time talking and being together.