Losing Romeo

by A. J. Byrd

  But still I wonder.

  “So how long are you going to have me just make googly eyes at you?” Kwan says, strolling up to me after I’ve changed for basketball practice.

  “What?” I ask, turning.

  “Don’t play all innocent on me.” The side of his face kicks up a smile. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He stretches an arm over my head so that he can cage me in between him and the wall.

  I lift my brows and try to level him with a serious look, but instead I end up smiling because of the way his warm breath tickles the side of my neck. “What are you doing Thursday night?” he asks.

  “Why you want to know?”

  The other side of his face balloons into a smile, causing his two dimples to wink at me. “Because a brother might be trying to ask you out.”

  My heart is doing all kinds of flutters and backflips, but at the same time I’m trying to keep my head from floating into the clouds. When something seems too good to be true, then it usually is. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” I say.

  “What? You got a boyfriend or something?”

  I’m blushing so bad that my face is at least ten degrees hotter. “I didn’t say that.”

  “It’s a direct question, li’l ma. You got a man?”

  Whoo, Jesus. I’m going to pass out. “No.”

  Kwan leans down closer. “Then how come you won’t go out with me?”

  “Maybe I don’t like you. Have you ever thought about that?” I ask, folding my arms because I need an extra protective barrier between us.

  “Actually, that thought has occurred to me several times,” he says. “If it’s true then I’m determined to change your mind about that.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. And I want to start by taking you out to Club Zero.”

  “A club?” I shake my head. “There’s no way I can pass for twenty-one.”

  “Nah. Nah. It’s this teen club out in Alpharetta. Some friends of mine on the football team took me there a couple of weeks back. It’s really cool, and they have these rap battles that I want to get in on.”

  “Oh. You think you’re ready for the big stage.”

  “A brother like me stays ready.” He inches even closer. “You never know when an opportunity might present itself. You know what I mean?”

  Be still, my heart. “Has anybody ever told you that you’re pretty cocky?”

  Kwan laughs. Its husky sound is also doing a number on me, and I’m afraid what little will I do have is quickly dissolving. “I think you’re confusing that with confidence.”

  “Is that right,” I whisper and then try to swallow the growing lump in the center of my throat.

  “That’s right.” His gaze falls from my eyes to watch my tongue dart across my lips. “Say you’ll go out with me,” he says.

  I’m tempted.

  “You know that you want to.”

  I do want to. But am I ready to put my heart back out on the line so soon?

  “Come on,” he whispers. “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  That wins another smile from me. “All right,” I finally say. “One date. What time do you want to meet there?”

  “No. No. No.” He takes my hand and surprises me by brushing a soft kiss against the back of it. “We’re going to do this right. I’m going to pick you up at your place, introduce myself to your parents and then drive us to the club and bring you back home. You know, like a real date.”

  Suddenly the idea of him coming to the projects and then introducing him to my grandmother and four bad-ass brothers is enough to make me start reconsidering this.

  “And you can’t back out now,” he warns. “You already said yes.”

  I bite my tongue and when he hands over his cell phone I enter my address and phone number into his address book. I really hope I know what I’m doing.

  twenty

  Kwan—You Remind Me

  I ain’t going to lie. I’ve been sweating Anjenai from the moment I saw her. No, she’s not laced in the tightest gear, blinged out or weave-o-rific. She’s pretty, though she doesn’t try to boast it, and just one look in her eyes and you can tell she’s smart as hell. And when she’s working the court, she completely blows everybody else away. I love an athletic woman, and Anjenai has all the makings of a star.

  Plus, she reminds me of my ex-girlfriend, Charmaine, back in New York. Charmaine was killed by another teenager from our school who was texting and driving. It was a head-on collision that the coroner said had killed her instantly. When I first got the news it was the first time I’d cried since I was, like, a toddler. It really hurt losing her, especially since she’d just left my place after we’d had an argument. I know we used to argue all the time, and the fights now seem so silly in hindsight. But they usually started with Charmaine accusing me of checking at some girl that I wasn’t and getting her cobra-neck on.

  I’ve had the same problem with the few girlfriends that I’ve had in my life: insecurity. They either became overly jealous or too possessive. Both traits would lead me to eventually ending things like I had the day Charmaine was killed. I hate to admit it, but I was a bit relieved when my parents told me that we were moving to Atlanta. It meant that I would be spared returning to my old school where all my well-meaning friends and teachers would talk to me and treat me like a fragile piece of glass.

  But then I come here and run smack into a girl who looks a lot like Charmaine. Well, if her hair wasn’t in braids and she maybe wore more makeup. The first time I laid eyes on Anjenai I thought I was seeing a ghost. When I realized that she wasn’t, I started noting that despite their similar looks, Anjenai and Charmaine were definitely two different people.

  Anjenai intrigues me more. I can tell that hanging with her will be more meaningful than just hanging out at malls and constantly trying to outshine the teenage Joneses. Anjenai holds the potential to be a triple threat: homie, lover and friend. At least that’s what I’m going to find out.

  At football practice, this dude Romeo is still giving me serious face. I wish that he would just spit out what’s on his mind so we can squash whatever nonsense he thinks we’re beefing over, because all these side glances are working my last nerve.

  “Yo,” I say, walking over to Chris. “What’s really up with your boy?”

  Chris glances out onto the field toward Romeo. “Man, I done told you not to pay him no mind. He got female trouble. NawhatImean?” He elbows me and then tosses down a cup of Gatorade.

  “Yeah. I’ve been doing that, but the situation seems to be getting worse,” I tell him. “Me and the dude don’t have to be friends or nothing, but I’m getting tired of him mean-mugging me every time I turn around. Either you need to talk to him or I’ma have to step to him and handle it. NawhatImean?”

  “I hear you.” He smirks and then cuts his gaze toward me. “Are you still peeping out that freshman?”

  “Who—Anjenai?”

  “That will be the one.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So that was the girl he was trying to holler at about a month back.”

  I shrug. “And? You said that he stepped off.”

  “I didn’t say that it was his choice. His future baby mama ran interference and I suspect he regrets the play.”

  The pieces of the puzzle have now clicked into place. I glance back out to the field to see our star player throw a thirty-yard pass. Good arm. Once it is completed, Romeo removes his helmet and casts another look in my direction. “Well,” I say, turning my attention back to Chris, “I say his loss is my gain.”

  twenty-one

  Anjenai—Make Me Over

  “I’m so jealous!” Nicole screams, grasping hold of her steering wheel as we cruise down the back streets toward the Oak Hill Apartments. “How is it that you keep getting all the cute guys?”

  “That’s what I want to know.” Kierra laughs. “First Romeo and now Kwan? You need to be doing an advice column in the school newspaper
or something.”

  “Okay. Now y’all are just blowing my head up instead of telling me what the hell am I going to wear to go to a club? Not to mention he wants to come over and meet my family.”

  Kierra cracks up. “I can just see it now. The twins making kissy noises at y’all and Hosea and Edafe bugging him to hold his wallet.”

  I can’t help smirking. “Ain’t that the truth?”

  “And don’t forget, your granny is going to want to know all about his peoples. Where they come from, which church they go to—and now she’ll probably ask whether he’s knocked up some hoochie mama before he landed on her doorstep.”

  “Arrrgh. Why did I say yes?”

  Kierra leans forward between the two front seats. “Because according to your grades, you’re not dumb. Can you imagine what it will do to Romeo when he finds out that you’re dating Kwan?”

  Rolling my eyes and shaking my head I ask, “Why the hell should he care? He’s made his choice.”

  Nicole cuts a look over at me.

  “What?”

  “All right. Real talk? We all know that Romeo is not over you. That boy roams around that school like a lost puppy. Frankly, I think my sister overplayed her hand. There’s even word floating around that the Redbones broke up.”

  “You’re kidding,” Kierra and I shout, flabbergasted.

  “I know. Stop the presses, right? From what I understand there was some blowup and Phoenix accused Raven and Bianca of wanting to be her.”

  “What’s the problem? That’s true, isn’t it?” I ask.

  Nicole shrugs. “Who knows? All I know is they haven’t been talking since.”

  I sit back and let that marinate for a minute.

  “I think you need your own column, too,” Kierra says. “How is it that you get the scoop on everything?”

  “People talk when they think I’m not listening. And despite popular opinion, boys gossip waaay more than girls. Believe me.”

  “Well, none of it matters. I could care less whether Romeo misses me or not. I. Don’t. Miss. Him.”

  We all fall silent.

  “I mean it,” I say. “I could never forgive him for what he did to me that night. The humiliation. The—”

  “We know,” Kierra and Nicole say. “We were there.”

  “Then you understand where I’m coming from,” I nearly yell. “It’s over. I’m done. I hope he and his baby mama have a long life together. Me? I’m moving on. And why not Kwan? He’s nice, talented and charming. And he’s willing to meet my family. Romeo never did much more than drop me off after practice or grab a slice of pizza.”

  “Sounds like someone has already made up her mind,” Kierra says.

  I nod, realizing that I had. “It’s just one date.”

  “Hmm. Humph.”

  We all giggle.

  “I still don’t have anything to wear,” I remind them, and then reach up and flip down the visor. “And I need to do something to my hair.”

  “Oooooh,” Kierra and Nicole coo and share another knowing glance. “It’s like that.”

  “What? It’s the first time I’m going to a club—teen or not. What if they have something like a velvet rope and the people at the door take one look at my wash-and-wear outfit and laugh me straight out of the line?”

  “That would be embarrassing,” Kierra agrees.

  “Yeah. It’ll be like Shadiq’s party all over again,” I say. “Anjenai Legend is up at the club trying to stunt in cotton and polyester.” I shake my head. “I ain’t trying to go out like that.”

  “So what do you want to do?” Nicole asks. “You want to have, like, a pajama party and we give each other a makeover or something?”

  Kierra perks up. “Yeah. We can, like, take your braids down and straighten your hair, and I can teach you how to put on makeup.”

  Nicole gasps. “Let’s do it! When is your date again?”

  “Thursday.”

  “Then let’s do it Wednesday night. You guys can spend the night at my place.”

  “Oh. I can’t,” Kierra whines. “I have to watch my sister in the evenings. Can you spend the night at my place?” she asks Nicole.

  “In Oak Hill?”

  I roll my eyes. “Girl, ain’t nobody going to bother you.”

  “What about my car?”

  “Well, that’s another story.” I laugh. “You’re going to have to work something out on a ride. You can’t park something like this at Oak Hill and expect it to still be sitting there when we wake up the next morning.”

  We have a good laugh about it, but we hammer out our plans for a pajama party. Later that evening, I swing by Tyler’s to invite her over, as well. But when she opens her apartment door, I’m stunned to see that she’s already got her party going.

  “Heeey,” she says after cracking open the door. A goofy smile slops across her face, and her eyelids are drooping low. Inside, music is bumping and I can hear people laughing and giggling.

  This girl is high. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you had company,” I say, noting that she doesn’t bother to invite me inside. I stand there and pretend that I’m not hurt.

  “That’s all right, girl. What’s up?”

  “I, uh—” I glance over her shoulder and catch Michelle sitting on some dude’s lap and attempting to swallow his tongue.

  Tyler cocks her head and I swear I can hear her thinking, Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.

  “Kierra, Nicole and I are going to have a, um, sleepover at Kierra’s Wednesday night, and I just came over to invite you, too.” Suddenly talking to Tyler about sleepovers seems so childish. Her new friends are older, and clearly they are into other things. So surely playing with hair and makeup won’t be high on Tyler’s list of fascinating things to do.

  “Wednesday, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I have court Wednesday…so I guess it’ll just depend on whether the judge gives me my freedom papers or I have to head off to juvie for a little while.”

  How did I forget about her court date? “Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot. Um. Yeah. Well, I guess we can just talk about it in the morning when Nicole picks us up. I’ll let you get back to your friends.” I turn to leave.

  “Actually,” she says, stopping me. “I’m probably going to be riding with Michelle and Trisha tomorrow.”

  I didn’t know that they had a car. “Okay…then lunch?”

  “Actually—”

  “You know what? Just whenever—or forget it. I don’t want to come between you and your new friends.” I turn to storm off again.

  “C’mon, Anje. Don’t be a bitch.”

  “Stop calling me that,” I snap. “Because if anyone is being a bitch lately it’s you! I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

  “Is this going to be another lecture?” Tyler asks, looking bored.

  “Damn, Ty,” Michelle says, coming up for air. “You gonna hang out in the hallway all night or what?”

  “I gotta go,” Tyler says. “We can continue this later.” Without another word, Tyler draws back her head and then closes the door in my face.

  twenty-two

  Tyler —Purple Haze

  Anje and her lectures. I’m really not in the mood.

  “Who was that at the door?” Kerosene asks, looking up from the sofa. It is so weird having him here without his girlfriend, Adele, attached to his side. But rumor has it that they are beefing these days, and he, instead of his girl, continues to hang thick and heavy with our clique. I guess it don’t matter. He’s good people.

  I just ignore him and float my way back over to my spot in Leon’s armchair.

  “Well?” Kerosene repeats, toking another hit from his fat blunt.

  “Why you want to know? It wasn’t for you.”

  Michelle detaches her lips from her new man’s lips long enough to throw in a chuckle. I don’t know if I like her new boo. He’s kind of old—like nineteen. Why someone out of high school st
ill wants to mess around with a fifteen-year-old is beyond me. But by the time the blunt that’s in rotation makes its way to me, I put that foolishness with my list of others—in the back of my mind.

  “Are you nervous about your first court date?” Trisha asks, handing me a beer from the six-pack they brought over with them.

  “Naw,” I lie. “This shit is what it is, right?” I shrug my shoulders. “I mean what’s the worst they can do—send me to juvie? That’s no biggie.”

  Trisha’s lips spread into a fat smile. “Pretty much. Hell, at this point that place is like home away from home. Ain’t that right, Michelle?”

  We both glance over to Michelle and her old man on the couch only to see them going at it. Moaning and groaning and old boy has his hands up the front of her shirt and rubbing on her tits like he’s trying to make a wish or something.

  “I swear she’s such a ho,” Trisha says.

  I laugh and shake my head. My buzz is setting in real good now.

  Kerosene reaches over to the table and grabs the last beer. “Trisha, we out of beer.”

  “And?” she snaps.

  “And go get some, girl!”

  “Me?” Trisha swivels her head around. “Fool, have you lost your mind? What the hell is wrong with your legs?”

  “I brought this pack. It’s your turn to start chipping in,” he snaps. “You always at a party but you don’t ever want to chip in. What the hell is that all about?” He gives her a hard glare.

  Finally she rolls her eyes and spits, “Fine! I’ll go get the beer.” She turns toward me. “Tyler, you want to come with me?”

  “No,” Kerosene interrupts. “She’s going to stay here and keep me company.” He looks over at me. “Ain’t that right, Ty?”

  I just shrug because I really don’t feel like walking or even leaving these people in my apartment while I’m gone. One time Stella brought her thieving butt over here and I had to put her ass in check.

  Trisha rolls her eyes at us as she pushes herself up off the floor and then stumbles her way toward the door. “I’ll be right back.”