Fervent

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by Claudia Burgoa


  She’s quirky. Those fucking horoscopes she reads religiously drive me crazy. She believes that her hand holds her future. Just as she believes in justice and she fights for those who can’t fight for themselves. She’s ruthless, fearless, and stronger than any person I’ve ever met. But God, she can be sweet and passionate. So yes, I’m falling hard even when I’m fucking scared of what’s happening between us. Convincing her that she can fall, and that I’ll catch her is going to be hard.

  So fucking hard.

  But I want her to be part of my life—to be part of me. I want her forever.

  “Being with her reminds me of what Mom and Dad had when they were with us,” I say out loud.

  Hunter smiles, looking at his phone. And Scott moves his gaze toward Hazel. Is Hazel the woman who could make him happy?

  “I imagine they had the perfect marriage,” Hazel says with a dreamy tone.

  “Actually, it was imperfect and messy,” I respond.

  “But it was magical when they were together,” Scott adds to what I say.

  I nod in agreement. “Dad loved to bring her presents on a daily basis. He tried to hang the moon and promised her the stars.”

  “He always delivered,” Scott continued. “Mom said that when they met, she just knew they belonged together. They fell in love slowly though, but it was inevitable.”

  “That,” Hazel sighs. “I want that.”

  “One day you’ll have it,” Fitz assures her. “You always say it, love is real, it happens. You just have to wait for the right guy.”

  “What if I had the right guy? But we were too young and careless with what we had? I might die alone.” She shakes her head, slamming her forehead against the table. Ouch.

  Then, she lifts her head and smiles. “Tell me more about your parents. I need to hear about those blissful moments they shared. Were they happy?”

  Scott and I witnessed the entire relationship. It was heaven when they were happy. Sometimes joy became apathy. There were fights. Words were said.

  “It’s over, Christopher.” Mom’s angry voice would come from the office, her craft room, or maybe their room.

  She’d be packing. My stomach would sink each time that happened. It felt like hours when I had to wait for the news that they were getting a divorce. Scott and I would be camping in the media room with the little kids hoping that the nightmare would be over soon. Dad would come home with a big ass bouquet of Mom’s favorite flowers and would tell her that he was sorry. That he couldn’t live without her by his side. It didn’t matter who had started it. He always came back apologizing.

  “It was hard to think how one would survive without the other when you saw them kissing,” I say, staring at the wall where the picture of the six of us hung.

  “And . . . they did, they left together,” Scott finishes. “It was hard when they left, but you can still feel their love.”

  “That’s the kind of love Luna makes me want to have,” I tell them. “I want to wake up next to her for the rest of my life, and go to heaven, and wait for her so we can be together forever.”

  “But?” Hazel glares at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “I have to work hard to convince her that we can be together.”

  “You’re an excellent negotiator, Harrison, just show her how amazing you can be.” She gives me her vote of confidence.

  Twenty-Seven

  Luna

  “This is a mistake.”

  I stare at the file that Harrison just handed me. I read it, study every word and every picture. Nothing makes sense. This isn’t what I asked him to give me.

  I wanted the truth about Mom’s death.

  “You’re wrong.”

  There’s a picture of a baby sitting down next to her mother. I can’t see the body of my mother but . . . why did they leave me on the floor next to her? Who picked me up from there? That can’t be me. It was Sammie who was taken along with her. Not me. I was safe . . . where was I? At childcare maybe, or . . . I never asked for my whereabouts and the file I have. Standing up from the bed, I walk to the small desk where I have my files. I go through the pile searching for the folder with the original documents.

  I open it and go through the highlighted notes. I check the few pictures I have. In the pictures, it’s only Mom’s head, her eyes are closed, and a white sheet covers her body. In the files, there’s no description of the daughter, nothing particular about her appearance, age or . . .

  The file is thin, too thin. I’ve known it for a long time. I expected that the other one would be larger, but not completely different. I compare it with the new file that Harrison gave me and laugh. This binder has interviews, testimonies, and pictures. So many pictures of where they found her, how they found her . . .

  The woman on the ground in the pictures is lifeless. The naked, bruised, bloody corpse is next to some bushes. Her blond hair is matted in multiple places, stained with blood. Her eyes are wide open. Her glance is directed to the spot where the baby had been. They found her car abandoned on highway 95. Their little boy was close by, asking for help to the drivers who passed along the site. According to her husband, she was going to visit her mother. That night, they found her body and his baby daughter.

  “Lucas.” I cover my mouth. “He was there too, but they only took her and . . . me.” My voice disappears as I continue reading page after page of the same.

  A lump continues forming inside my throat. My stomach turns with each word, every new revelation. All the suffering and torturing she went through before they finally killed her. A hiker found her because the baby was crying.

  And the note they left.

  She’s next. You can’t hide them from us.

  “That was an act of brutality. Why do you think he hired that man?” I’m still hoping to blame her ex-husband for taking away my mother and destroying our family.

  “Who?”

  “Sammie’s dad.”

  “It wasn’t Sammie’s father.” Harrison takes the file away from me.

  “There’s no other option,” I insist, shaking my head. “Then why did he keep Sammie away from us?”

  “He filed a restraining order against your father after this happened. He claimed that Cristobal was a danger to his child. Though your dad fought it, he never got to see her again.”

  “Where was Sammie?”

  “According to my investigators, she was with her father,” Harrison responds. “Your mom wasn’t allowed to take her out of the city without his consent.”

  Then what happened to my sister? I thought seeing her mother die had broken her but . . . I will never know. It could’ve been missing her family or was it abuse. Mom said that he was hitting Sammie.

  “I feel like my entire life is a lie.” I plop on top of my bed, resting my elbows on my thighs and cradling my head.

  “I wouldn’t call it a lie,” he says, quietly.

  “He lied to me.”

  “There’s always another side to the story, Luna.”

  “What would you do?” I lift my head, looking at him.

  “If you died?” He exhales harshly, taking me into his embrace. He brushes sweet kisses up the side of my neck. “I’d die with you.”

  The tone of his voice and the words rock my entire system. I couldn’t survive if he died. I know that’s what happened to my father. He’s not the same man. I doubt that he’ll ever be the guy he was when Mom was around. But why hide it from me?

  “Harry, help me understand, please.” I push him away, walking around my room.

  I can’t think about Harrison and what’ll happen to him when I die. Because this isn’t the time to tell him, by the way, I don’t have too much time left, but I am falling so hard for him that I can’t breathe when I remember that this can’t happen. Not between us.

  “There has to be a better answer than that didn’t happen, this is what happened and live with it.” I come up with the first thing I can, pushing us away from the subject of my own mortality.

  �
��What would you do?” I repeat.

  “I probably would bury everything so deep that no one would ever know what happened. I wouldn’t want my kid to know that. You have to talk to him.”

  “Harry,” I say, as I see his face breaking.

  Harrison pulls me back into his comfortable arms, and the weight of the world vanishes from my body. He cups my face, catching my lips with his. The kiss is soft first but becomes deeper, rougher, passionate. It’s so much different from all the other kisses we’ve shared since we came back from the Keys. Meaningful, lustful, but healing too. It’s like he’s trying to absorb my pain with every thrust of his tongue.

  “Sorry, I can’t think about losing you. Not when we are finding each other and . . .”

  He shakes his head. “Stop torturing yourself and talk to him.”

  “You think I have to?”

  “That’s the only way you’ll find your answers, little moon.”

  Is he right? Will Dad finally tell me what happened? I can’t think. This is too much. The past two days have been bad. My yoga classes had only a couple of students yesterday and today. I didn’t have any Reiki clients. Jess wasn’t happy because I missed almost a week of work. Even when I said it was a family emergency.

  “I don’t care that your boyfriend is rich.” Jess used Harrison as an excuse to try to hook me for more classes, now she seems to hate him. “If you miss one more day of work, don’t come back.”

  Then there’s my real job. The case I’m working on is going to be handled by my ex-boss. The same man who hates my guts and the guy who emailed me to say that next week he was coming to New York to look into what’s been done so far. That he has his team assembled and didn’t think he’d be needing me.

  Lucas hasn’t responded to my email, but I have to find out what he’s planning on doing with me. Is he going to fire me?

  “Luna, how can I help you?” Harrison’s concerned voice warms my heart. “We can fix everything . . . one thing at a time. You have my support. I can listen, suggest, or do whatever you feel necessary.”

  I know I could get through this by myself, but having him here makes everything so much easier. His heartbeats remind me that there’s hope. His strength shows me that pain can only break you for so long. Learning the truth about the past isn’t the end of the world, this might be the beginning of something different. But what?

  “He’s been lying to me,” I complain, resting my head on his chest. “Dad, Lucas . . . I bet Tiago knows too. Why would they hide that?”

  “Say the word, and I can have you in Alexandria tomorrow morning.”

  “Jess will fire me,” I retort, but I might not need to have a cover in New York. For all I know, I have to pack and go back home.

  “But I want to talk to him.”

  “I’ll set it up for tomorrow morning. Do you want to stay here or go out for dinner?”

  “Hazel is cooking.” I flinch because that woman should only be allowed to assist.

  “Scott is doing it. He’s pretending to help her.”

  “Then here, and . . .” I close my eyes, blurt the words and hope he says yes. “Stay with me tonight.”

  “Luna, I can’t. Not yet.”

  “Just hold me, nothing else.” I smile, pretending to be fine with the arrangement. Telling him that I want to be with him might grant me a no, and my emotions are too crumbly to handle the rejection, even when his reasons are sweet.

  We are not ready.

  What happened to his cheesy or crass innuendos?

  I’ll be setting you on fire.

  There hasn’t been any fire. The heat between us increases, and I’m about to combust. By myself.

  “Fuck, give me strength.” He closes his eyes. “Let’s have dinner, and we’ll play it by ear.”

  Twenty-Eight

  Luna

  Harrison Everhart is a dead man walking. I stare at his back while he’s talking with the hostess. She keeps smiling at him, batting her eyelashes, and sighing every two freaking seconds.

  “I’ll be with you in a moment.” She flashes me a smile, then turns to Harrison. “Follow me, Mr. Everhart. I’ll bring your guests to your table as they arrive.”

  “We have guests, dear?” I arch an eyebrow and refrain from showing her my claws.

  Harrison kisses my temple, taking my hand. Then, he turns his attention to Ms. Flirty. “Mr. Santillan should arrive soon. Thank you for taking care of our table.”

  “Where’s my sunshine?” Harrison holds the laugh. “You’re in a bad mood today. Not a morning person, are you?”

  “Shut up!” I say, walking behind him and Ms. Perky.

  I don’t consider myself a morning person, nor a night owl. I’m a mix. If I go to bed early, I can wake up early and vice versa. Last night we went to sleep at . . . we never did. Harrison found millions of ways to avoid my bed. Baking, cleaning, board games, movies. I fell asleep watching a marathon of Transformers, the cartoon.

  “What did I do?” He moves to the side and bows slightly pointing at the inside of a private room. “After you, my lady.”

  Moving my head side to side and up and down I glare at him.

  “I owe you my stiff neck,” I declare, gently massaging the sore muscles. Falling asleep on his shoulder for the entire flight has me crying in pain.

  He inspects the table, which is set only for two people, then nods at Miss Perky-Flirt. She leaves without saying a word.

  “We’re even.” He clears his throat, walking toward the door and closing it. “I owe you my stiff dick. It’s been like that since we met.”

  “Now you want sex.” I glare at him. “My father is about to arrive, that’s not something I’d like to discuss.” I cross my arms, biting my lip and swallowing the next sentence.

  But we can run to the restroom and take care of each other’s itch. Man, there’s the itch he mentioned before.

  “I already apologized about your neck.” He walks toward me. “But in my defense, you didn’t let me buy you a neck pillow for the flight.”

  He reaches over to me, pulling me against his body and pressing my back against his torso. I close my eyes, leaning against him and letting him support my tired body. Two more hours of sleep will fix me, for now. He pushes my hair to one side, kisses my neck, and puts his hands on top of my shoulders beginning to work my knots with the tip of his fingers.

  “Harrison!” I cry in pain after he squeezes me hard. “What are you doing?”

  “Sir.”

  Opening my eyes, I see my father in front of us. His eyes are shooting a furious glance toward Harrison.

  “Hola, Papá,” I say, moving farther from Harrison and closer to him.

  “Luna,” he exhales a groan.

  “Mr. Everhart, I see that as always, you didn’t care to follow my instructions.”

  “Sir, as always, it’s a pleasure to see you.” Harrison nods. And I close my eyes when I catch the humor in his eyes. Ah, this man is going to pull my father’s triggers.

  I stare at my father and shake my head. “You’re going to be nice to him.” Then, I turn to Harrison. “And you too. Do not . . . I just need you to behave.” I roll my eyes, crossing my arms.

  “It won’t be hard because I’m leaving.” Harrison looks at me. “The room is reserved for five hours. You can use it for as long as you want though. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

  “But—”

  “If you want, I can stay. But I think this is something you two have to discuss without a third party.” He takes my hands and kisses them both, then brushes my mouth lightly with his.

  He turns to look at Dad. “I apologize if what I did was against your wishes, but you told me to put her first. And that’s what I did. My plan is to always put her first, even if you don’t approve.”

  “You put her in danger.” Dad grinds his teeth.

  “I didn’t, it was done cautiously.” Harrison doesn’t change his tone. He remains calm.

  “Yet, I learned about it almost immediate
ly.”

  Harrison smirks. “You heard about it yesterday. It wasn’t a coincidence, sir.” He bows and steps out of the room.

  Dad grips the back of the chair as he watches Harrison leave. His knuckles are turning white, and his lips are pressed together so tight they are barely visible. “I don’t like him, Luna. You have to stay away from him.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Papá?”

  He pulls on his tie, trying to loosen it. I can’t believe he came dressed in a suit.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.” His voice is dry.

  “I want you to tell me everything, or at least explain to me why you hid the truth. The way she died . . . what happened?” I close my eyes, trying to erase the jarring images from my mind. They broke her before they killed her. “It was brutal, and she didn’t deserve it. No one deserves to die that way and in front of her daughter.”

  The little baby who lost her mother so soon in such a cruel and horrid way.

  “What kind of monster does that?”

  “A heartless man.”

  “What happened with Lucas?”

  “He hid under the seats, between the blankets that she carried in the trunk.” Dad’s shoulders remain slumped, his eyes never leave the white tablecloth. “My brave little boy. He stopped cars asking for help. We were searching desperately. Found you a few hours later but it was too late for her.”

  “Why did it happen?”

  “It was an undercover job. My partner sold me out and I didn’t get to her on time.” He supports his weight onto the chair, his gaze focused on the table.

  “Who is the man behind bars?”

  “My ex-partner,” he answers. “I had everything to incarcerate them. I didn’t have enough information to bring down the entire Russian mafia down. They are the ones who killed your mom after they discovered my identity. I could’ve tried to take them down. But that implied entering the witness protection program and leave everyone and everything behind. I would only be allowed to take my children with me. If Tiago joined me, he wouldn’t be able to see his mother. I couldn’t leave him behind, I couldn’t take him away from her. You and Lucas had lost your mom. You needed my family . . . I needed them too.”

 

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