Unexpected Packages

by Sindee Lynn

  “Hey, you still there or did you fall asleep on me?”

  His soft laughter filtered across the phone lines and caressed her skin.

  “Uh, no. Sorry about that. I’m just really tired this morning,” she said, hoping he wouldn't hear the strain in her voice.

  “Well, there’s a nice soft bed waiting for you inside. But first you have to get out of the car, sweetheart.”

  He’d called her that on several other occasions, but this morning it sounded especially sweet to her ears. Tears welled up at the back of her eyes. Would anyone else ever call her sweetheart? If they did, could it possibly sound as sweet as when he said it? A wave of loneliness came over Connie as she sat in her car, her head against her seat rest. In such a short period of time, he had come into her life and given her hope that maybe things would be different this time. A tear slid down her cheek, and she didn’t bother to wipe it away. It would only be replaced by the many she was holding at bay with sheer willpower.

  “I’m sorry, Kenny,” she said softly into the phone.

  Connie felt as if she needed to apologize for not having enough faith in him. In her opinion, he had done everything he could to dispel her earlier thoughts of him. Kenny had set himself apart from all the other guys she’d had the misfortune of knowing. But as hard as she’d tried, Connie had never been completely able to accept what he had seemed to be offering, a chance to live her dream. Thoughts of how long before he woke up and realized he could do better were always at the back of her mind.

  “Sorry for what, Connie?”

  She could hear the confusion in his voice. It was mixed with something else she couldn't quite decipher.

  “I’m sorry that I’m not stronger,” she said, shaking her head.

  Another tear slipped down her cheek. She never should have gone out on that first date with him. She should have stuck to her guns and continued to say no. That way she never would have known what she could never truly have. A deep sigh came across the phone line, and Connie cringed.

  “Why don’t you come inside so we can talk about it? I have coffee made, and I can fix you some breakfast,” he said, his voice soft and coaxing.

  The urge to give in and do as he asked was so strong her heart constricted. What lay in store for her inside that house was too good to be true? Accepting would only delay the inevitable. The day when he would wake up beside her and see her the way others had seen her in the past. That would be the day he realized he had picked the wrong sister. The day he’d call Lori up and see if they could work it out. Connie didn’t want to be around for that day.

  “I can’t,” she answered finally. “I think it’s best if I go home. Maybe after I get some sleep, I’ll come back over and we can talk then.”

  It was a lie, and he probably knew it as well as she did. She had no intentions of ever crossing his doorstep again. And once he got over being dumped twice within one week, he would realize she was doing them both a favor.

  “Why not just stay now since you’re outside? You said it yourself. You’re tired and need to get some rest. I can run you a hot bath, and then you can get some sleep. I brought some work home with me, so I won’t disturb you.”

  He was being so considerate and thoughtful. Hot tears rolled freely down her cheeks.

  “Kenny, this past week has been the best week of my life. I have enjoyed being with you so much, but I think it’s time we both stopped kidding ourselves. I mean how long can this really last between us? How long before you realize you no longer find me intriguing and start looking for a way to let me down easy?”

  “But how do you know that, Connie?” he asked, his voice coming out raw and full of emotion. “You have condemned it already. Why not at least see how far it can go before you pass sentence? It might surprise you in the end.”

  No, she wanted to scream. It would only make it worse. She’d have way too much time to fall more in love with him than she already was. Connie's mouth opened in shock as dawning came with the rising of the sun. As the last remnants of night gave way to the bright sunshine of a new day, she finally admitted to herself what she’d been fighting all week. She was in love with Kenny Jamison. She ran her fingers through her hair and wondered how the hell that had happened. They’d only known each other a week.

  “We would only be delaying the inevitable. I’d rather just say my goodbyes now.”

  “And if I don’t want to say goodbye, Constance? What if I don’t want to give you up? What if I told you that you have already taken over a large part of my heart?”

  “It’s not about what you want, Kenny. It’s about what’s best for me,” Connie said, trying not to completely break down.

  It was getting considerably harder to speak around the tight wad of pain that had lodged itself in her throat.

  “I think what’s best for you is me and vice versa,” he said softly.

  She didn’t detect the first hint of arrogance in his tone. How should she respond to that? Tell him you agree, her heart screamed. Tell him you had a momentary melt down but you’re fine now. Then get out of the car and run to him as fast as you can. But she couldn't do that. Kenny owned her heart. She didn’t dare think how bad it would be if she stayed and then later he left. She refused to acknowledge the silent pleading of her heart to reconsider. And her heart’s silent question of what if he didn’t leave. What if Kenny was truly different?

  “I don’t.”

  The lie barely made it past the knot in her throat.

  “I don’t believe you. What happened between last night and this morning? When you left last night, you were coming back this morning, and I don’t mean just to sit outside my house in your car. What happened?”

  His voice was no longer soft and coaxing. Frustration and anger now rang clear and who could blame him. When she had left his house, it had been with a promise of coming back this morning to awaken him in the sweetest manner possible. This was not the wakeup call either of them had planned, but she realized it was the one she’d been running from all week.

  “I stopped listening to my body and started listening to my brain.”

  “Yeah, well, tell your brain for me to shut the hell up. Maybe you need to start listening to your heart, Connie? What does your heart tell you to do?”

  Connie leaned her head against her headrest and listened to her heart. It was screaming at her to get out of the car and go inside to the man she loved.

  “My heart doesn’t get a vote in this matter,” she finally said.

  The pain in her chest intensified as her heart broke a little more. They said what didn’t kill you made you stronger. After this, providing she didn’t have to be committed to an insane asylum, she should be as strong as Wonder Woman.

  “Constance Banks, either you come in this house right now or I will come outside and get you,” he threatened.

  Sounds of movement came across the phone line. She looked at the house towards the upstairs window he had been standing in and no longer saw his outline.

  “I’m going home, Kenny. I’ll call you later and maybe we can talk about this further. But not now,” she said and hung up.

  Tears streamed down her face as she pulled away from the curb. She didn’t bother to try and brush them aside. What would be the point? They’d only bring fresh ones in their place.

  A few minutes later she sat outside her home. She spent a few minutes behind the wheel trying to get herself together. She wiped the tears from her eyes and prayed she could hold off any more until she got to the privacy of her room. She glanced at her watch and breathed a small sigh of relief. At least it was too early for her roommates to be up and about yet. So she wouldn't have to explain why she was at home or why she had been crying.

  Connie opened the door slowly. She breathed a small sigh of relief as the quiet of the house surrounded her. Her hand was still on the door handle when she realized she wasn’t alone in the foyer. Turning slowly around, she found three pairs of eyes staring at her. Tammy and Tracy were sittin
g on the steps and Jamie was leaning against the wall adjacent to the door. What the hell were they all doing up? She took a shaky breath and tried to pull herself together enough to speak.

  “Good morning. What are you guys doing up?” she asked, heading for the stairs and her escape, but her two roommates on the steps blocked her way.

  “What are you doing home? I thought you’d be at Kenny's after work this morning,” Tammy asked, eying her closely.

  Connie didn’t like the feeling of dread coming over her. Why were they all up waiting on her?

  “I decided to come home and get some rest first. You know how wild I sleep when I’m tired. And I didn’t get much rest yesterday before I went into work,” she said, pushing thoughts of her afternoon spent in Kenny's arms to the back of her mind.

  “I guess I’ll see you guys in a few hours.”

  She stood waiting for Tammy and Tracy to move so she could get to the safety of her bedroom when the doorbell chimed. Connie glanced from the closed door to her roommates who hadn't budged.

  “Since you’re closer, why don’t you answer that?” Tracy said from her seat on the steps, her arms folded over her small chest.

  For the first time in her life, she prayed for it to be Brenda.

  “I’d just like to get upstairs to my room. Please,” she said, pleading with them with her eyes to allow her to escape while she could.

  “Just remember we love you,” Jamie said, moving to the door and opening it.

  Her eyes grew large at the sight of a very pissed off Kenny standing in the doorway. He had on a t-shirt and jeans; on his feet were flip flops. His unshaven jaw lent an air of danger to his already stunning good looks. His eyes were bright with anger as he took in the sight of her. She should run to her room. It would be easy. She could just barrel right through Tammy and Tracy who were now standing up on the steps. But she couldn't move under the intensity of his glare. Connie felt like a trapped rabbit.

  “Good morning, Kenny,” Jamie said, closing the door once he’d entered. “I think you two have something to discuss, so we’ll just go back to bed.”

  Wait, these were her friends. They were supposed to be on her side. They weren't supposed to be leaving her to face him alone. Connie watched in disbelief as her friends headed back to their rooms.

  “Where are you guys going?” she asked them.

  “Back to bed,” Tammy said, giving her a small smile before she followed Jamie up the steps.

  Tracy turned back towards her.

  “If I were you, Con, I’d listen to what he has to say. He looks pretty pissed off,” she said, throwing her a sympathetic look over her shoulder as she climbed the rest of the stairs.

  “No kidding,” she said under her breath turning to face Kenny.

  Connie hesitated before lifting her gaze to meet his. She felt her stomach bottom out. His eyes clearly reflected his anger. But was he angry because he’d had to leave the comfort of his home so early in the morning? Or was it because yet another woman had dumped him before he’d gotten the chance? Whatever the reason he wasn’t happy.

  Chapter 22

  Kenny tried to get his anger under control as he stared at Connie who hadn't moved from her position by the stairs. The short distance from his home to hers hadn't given his temper enough time to cool. He felt it clawing at his insides. He had been prepared to lay his soul on the line for her this morning and she had run. He tried to remind himself that he had been struggling with doubts and confusion over their relationship for most of the night. His heart fighting for what it knew to be true. At four o’clock this morning, he had finally admitted to the empty room that he loved Connie. Saying it out loud had somehow made it more real to him. He’d shouted it over and over several times until it seemed to echo in the emptiness of his home. A home he hoped wouldn’t remain empty for long.

  The thought had thrilled him when he’d first stumbled across it during the wee hours of the morning. A huge smile had split his face as he’d been up pacing, contemplating what it meant. Then he’d stopped midstride as panic began to set in. What did he know about love? He who had dated a woman who annoyed the hell out of him for four months simply because she looked good on his arm. How did he even know what he was feeling was real? What if it was as his mother had suggested? Just a deep case of lust. And then the dreaded, what if she didn’t feel the same way about him? That thought had almost brought on an anxiety attack. Could it be possible the feelings were only one sided? His ego had answered with a resounding – no way, followed by an arrogant - how could she not be just as much in love with him as he was with her? But for the first time he paid it no attention because stranger things had happened. Like the fact he found himself in love with a woman who a few short weeks ago he wouldn’t have looked at twice.

  Plopping down on the side of the bed with his head in his hands, all of Kenny’s past failed relationships had come to the forefront. Relationships that had been based on a mutual need, and when that need was fulfilled, it was over. What did he know about a real relationship that involved the constant give and take he’d witnessed over the years with his parents? What if he did something to mess it up? His chest had hurt at the thought of his causing Connie pain in any way. But then it came to him. The thing that set this apart from any other relationship he had ever had in the past. He wanted her in his life and he was prepared to do whatever he had to do to keep her by his side.

  Kenny took a deep breath and brought himself back to the present and the situation at hand. Uncertainty flashed in the depths of Connie’s eyes. And was that even just a little fear? She should be afraid. Afraid he didn’t throw her over his shoulder and drag her upstairs to her bed. Even his anger couldn't keep his feelings of need at bay. Even now as he stood watching her, he wanted her and not just to sate his body. He needed her to fill all the empty holes in his soul. Holes he hadn't known were there until he’d met her.

  “Do you think you’re the only one who’s afraid, Connie?” he asked finally.

  Staring at her now, he could see the tear streaks on her cheeks and the shimmer of tears in her eyes as she continued to gaze warily at him. A part of him just wanted to take her in his arms and assure her he wouldn’t hurt her. That he loved her too much. But he couldn't. Not yet. Damn, he was tired all of a sudden. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night and had looked forward to holding Connie in his arms as they slept the morning away. A deep sigh moved through him as he wondered if that would happen anytime soon.

  “Well, you're not,” he said, pushing away from the door.

  He moved to sit on the steps at her feet, his head lowered in his hands.

  “When I first met you… It’s hard to believe it’s only been a week. But you stood behind that counter and you weren't impressed with anything about me. Man, you did some pretty healthy damage to my ego,” he said, laughing softly as he recalled that night.

  “You made me curious to discover who this woman was who could resist the famous Kenny Jamison charm. When I actually looked at you, my disbelief and confusion grew. You were nothing like the women I normally found myself attracted to. But there I was barely able to contain the hard on I was getting by looking at you.”

  Kenny saw shock register in her eyes.

  “I wasn’t immune to your charm, Kenny. I’d have to be dead not to notice you. I was just determined not to give you the reaction you were used to receiving from women. Besides you were there to get gas, and then you would be gone.”

  Connie moved to sit down on the steps a couple up from him.

  “We see how far I’ve gone, don’t we?”

  He laughed.

  “Yeah, but the jury’s still out on how long you would have stayed,” she said, not looking at him.

  So now we finally get to the root of the problem, Kenny thought.

  “Look, Connie, I admit when I asked you out that first night, it was only because I was curious about you and your effect on me. But it didn’t take me long to realize one night wasn’t
enough. I liked the feeling of excitement I got when I was going to see you. I’ve even come to enjoy the butterflies I get when I get my first look at you. And I love the hard on I get every time you touch me,” he said, turning on the steps to look up at her. “I guess what I’m saying is if you think you’re in this by yourself, then you couldn't be more wrong. My feelings have never been more invested in a relationship. I might have asked you out for the wrong reasons, but I’m staying for all the right ones.”

  It was not quite the declaration of love he had planned for last night, but this was not the time or place to declare his undying love for her. He watched her sitting there, wringing her hands in her lap. Inside he pleaded with her to make the right decision. To put them both out of their misery. When she lifted her gaze to meet his, Kenny felt his heart drop to his feet. Misery was reflected in her eyes, and it tore at his insides. Maybe he should just leave now. Make it easier for her. He dropped his gaze. Hmph, who was he kidding? It would make it easier on them both. He wasn’t going to like what she was about to say, and he knew it.

  “Kenny, when I’m with you, I forget about everything else. I forget I’m about forty pounds overweight. And that I’m not the best dresser. I forget about a past that has proven time and time again how a girl like me can never get a guy like you.”

  He lifted his head. Maybe he’d been wrong about what he’d seen in her eyes. Hope soared in his soul.

  “But last night I came face to face with a reality I couldn't ignore.”

  His heart plummeted when he saw tears begin to stream down her cheeks. She was no longer looking at him.

  “Knowing that I’m not as pretty or as thin as the type of woman you’re used to is one thing, but actually seeing it in the flesh is something completely different. All those old doubts and feelings of inadequacy came crashing in on me. And the one question I can’t seem to escape. How long before you realize you can do better than me?”