Be Careful What You Wish For

by Vivien Brown

  ‘IVF, do you mean? I didn’t know you’d taken things that far.’

  ‘You didn’t ask.’

  ‘That’s not fair. It’s private, isn’t it? Infertility, and all that sort of thing. You tell people when you’re ready, and maybe you weren’t.’

  ‘Maybe not. But you know now. And we’re going to have another go. At our marriage, and at the treatment. But I didn’t come here to relive all that. I came here for you. To make sure you’re all right. Come on. I know something’s up, and it’s not just this attack business.’

  ‘Well … I’ve had my share of hospitals lately too.’

  ‘You’re ill? And you didn’t tell me?’

  ‘I did try to call.’

  ‘Yeah. Once. I saw the missed call, but you didn’t leave a message, did you? Or try again? If it had been really important …’

  The door to the spare room opened then, stopping their conversation dead, and Stuart came out, rubbing his eyes. ‘Oh, sorry, Madi. Don’t mean to intrude. Just going to put the kettle on and make Faith a cuppa, if that’s okay?’

  Madi nodded. ‘Of course.’

  ‘We’ll be out of your hair soon, back to the hospital.’

  ‘No rush. This is my son, George. George, this is Stuart, Prue’s dad. You know, the poor girl who was attacked.’

  ‘Right. Morning, Stuart. Horrible business. I hope she’s better soon.’ George sank back into his chair and waited until Stuart had made two mugs of tea and disappeared back into the spare room and closed the door.

  ‘Who exactly are these people, Mum? Why are they here? Why was their daughter here?’

  ‘It’s a long story.’

  ‘Well, I’m not going anywhere.’ He leaned forward and took hold of her hand. ‘Start at the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.’

  ‘So, my dad was her dad too? This Suzy? I have a big sister you’ve never thought to mention?’

  ‘Half-sister. And what would have been the point? He didn’t want us. He saw us as an inconvenience, a potential stain on his reputation. He wanted to hide us away. And his other women too, apparently, whoever they might have been. I hardly think his wife and daughter would have been keen to welcome any of us into the family, do you?’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘You should have seen her, George. As far as Suzy’s concerned, I’m public enemy number one.’

  ‘Well, you have no reason to hate her back, do you? And I certainly don’t. Since we lost Gran and Grandad, apart from Jess, I’ve only had you, and you have to admit our relationship hasn’t always been as close as it could have been. Not your fault, I know you did your best for me, but, God, Mum, you could have died from your cancer and I would never have even had the chance to say goodbye. What on earth were you thinking, keeping that from me? I would have had no one then, would I? Even Jess had left me. But now she’s back, you’re recovering and, right out of the blue, I have another family. A sister, and a nephew, living right here. It’s a lot to take in. Weird. I mean, do they know I even exist?’

  ‘I don’t suppose they do. Your father was keen to keep us under wraps, so he won’t have told them I was pregnant. Or told anyone at all, for that matter.’

  ‘Do they look anything like Dad? Or like me?’

  ‘I haven’t really had time to think about that, or to notice …’

  ‘Family ties matter, Mum. What’s in our genes, our blood. Thinking I might never have children of my own has shown me that. I’d like to meet them.’

  Madi closed her eyes. When she’d left Norfolk at lunchtime yesterday, she’d had no idea all this was waiting for her. It was too much to take in. ‘I’d have to tell them about you first. It will come as just as big a shock to them as it has to you, I expect. And you’d have to be prepared for them to say no.’

  ‘Okay, they probably need time to absorb it all, but they’ll come round. Curiosity, if nothing else. And I can be stubborn.’

  ‘Don’t I know it!’ She laughed then. ‘Oh, George, I am sorry, really sorry, for letting things drift like this, for not talking to you.’

  ‘It takes two, and I was just as bad, but we can sort things out now, can’t we? Who knows, you might even be a grandma soon, if the treatment works out. Imagine that!’

  ‘I’m trying to.’ Madi gripped his hand and ran her fingers over his wedding ring. ‘God, it makes me sound old, but I have to admit I like the idea of it. I may even have to learn to knit! But you’re right. Family matters. I’ll try to introduce you to young Aaron. I think he’ll be an easier fish to fry than his mother at the moment. And then we’ll just have to take it from there, won’t we? See what happens …’

  ‘Morning, Madi.’ Faith emerged from the spare room, dressed but still bleary-eyed.

  ‘Hello, Faith. This is George, as Stuart’s probably told you. George … Faith.’

  They nodded to each other.

  ‘Did you manage to sleep?’

  ‘Not well. I just keep thinking about Prue and what might have happened. We could so easily have lost her.’

  ‘But you didn’t.’ Madi stood up and put an arm around Faith’s shoulders. ‘Now, I’m going to rustle up some breakfast. Only cereal and toast, I’m afraid, until I can get some shopping in, and I know you’ll be anxious to get to the hospital, but you’ll need something inside you.’

  ‘I’ve already rung, on my mobile. They say she’s doing well. A peaceful night. They might even let her go home later today. So quick, when you think how badly she was hurt, but I guess they need the bed, don’t they? And I think that going home has to mean going home with us. She’s not fit enough to stay on here, and now that you’re back …’

  ‘Of course. She’ll need looking after, and who better to do that than her own mum? Shall I help you pack up her things? There are some clothes lying around, things in the bathroom, some shopping bags of things I don’t think she’s even worn yet …’

  ‘Thank you, yes. I really wouldn’t know which were yours and which were hers. If we could get that done this morning before we set off, we won’t need to come back and trouble you later.’

  ‘It’s no trouble, Faith, you know that. And if they decide to keep her for longer you can always sleep here again tonight if you need to.’

  ‘Thank you, Madi, but I really hope we won’t have to take you up on that. I just want her home now, and to get back to the village and crawl into my own bed. But we’ll stay in touch, won’t we? Well, there’ll be the police investigation anyway, so I’m sure we’ll all need to be kept up to speed on that. You’re welcome to come down to see us in Shelling anytime, you know. And Tom’s been asking after you, according to Sian. She popped round there early, before work, and he was putting Flo’s food down and giving her a cuddle. Oh, and he said to let you know they think the fire was started by a cigarette. Dropped into a wastepaper bin, apparently. He has his suspicions about who the culprit might be but he wouldn’t say. Still, I thought you’d like to know.’

  ‘Fire?’ George asked. ‘It’s one drama after another around here. What else haven’t you told me about? And who on earth is Tom?’

  It was eleven o’clock by the time everyone had finally gone, George insisting it didn’t matter if he was late to work and having one last cup of coffee before following Faith and Stuart out of the door. Madi sat for a few moments and enjoyed the silence. Despite all that had happened here, this was her home and she was glad to be back in it. There were sheets and towels to change, food to buy, post to open, but first she was going to call Tom. He’d be worrying, and she’d left in such a rush …

  Besides, she needed to hear about the fire. If it had started because of a cigarette, and they both knew who had been caught smoking, who had been told off for it. Donny’s mate, Ricky Flynn. But should they tell anyone? The police, the fire brigade, the lad’s parents? What good would it do? It had obviously been an accident. Not deliberate, not arson, just a careless mistake. Madi sighed. Why did life have to be so complicated? So cruel? The boy would be feel
ing bad enough, without the world pointing the finger. Still, nobody had died. It was a building, that was all. And buildings can be rebuilt.

  She smiled to herself. George was back, and they were on the way to rebuilding something too. A wave of determination ran through her. Sod stupid bloody arguments over nothing. She should never have let him go, never have lost touch for so long. She could have lost him, and he her. Sod the evil that was cancer. It had taken a piece of her flesh, but what remained was just as strong as ever, or would be, given time. Sod anonymous cowardly attackers who creep about in the dark. They would catch whoever it was, she was sure of it. What mattered above all else was that she was alive, and so was Prue. Hope had triumphed, and that made her feel glad. Optimistic. Surely, things could only get better now?

  Chapter 39

  It’s no good. I can’t do it. Can’t lie here in bed, in the dark, knowing what I’ve done, pretending everything is all right, that none of it matters. This wasn’t the plan. Not that I had one really, but whatever I had expected to do, wanted to do, dreamed of doing, it was all about her. It was meant for her. Not the young girl. Why did she have to get in the way?

  Her visitors are leaving, banging and crashing bags on the stairs. Aaron is down in the hall, going out for a walk, stopping them to ask after the girl, asking how she is, asking if he can visit. So many questions. I can’t even hear the answers, hard as I try. I assume she must still be alive, and I am glad, relieved, but beyond that who knows? Bangs on the head can be tricky things. There will be consequences.

  It’s only a matter of time before the police come back and then there will be even more questions. Don’t they know that I have questions too? All the whens and wheres and whys. It was all so long ago, of course, losing him so suddenly, that feeling that my heart might actually break into a million pieces, but I had come to terms with it all, put it behind me, moved on. And then there was her. And she was here, and had been all along, here within reach …

  I pick up the phone. Call for a taxi. I have to get out of here before they come. I don’t want them to take me. I want to leave under my own steam. I may not have had much say in what happened to me in life, but I want to write my own ending.

  Chapter 40

  PRUE

  ‘Everything’s packed up and in the car, so we can drive you back home as soon as the doctors say you can go.’

  Prue managed a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Mum.’ She pushed her lunch around on its plate. Twelve o’clock felt much too early to be eating lunch but hospital routines had to be stuck to.

  ‘I can go and find you a sandwich from the shop if you prefer,’ her dad said, turning his nose up at the pale dollop of mush that was supposed to be macaroni cheese. ‘And some chocolate?’

  ‘No, I’m okay. I’m not even hungry really.’

  ‘You have to eat something, Prudence, to keep your strength up.’ Her mum only ever called her Prudence when she was in strict dishing-out-orders mode, and this was one of those occasions.

  Prue pushed a forkful into her mouth, more so she wouldn’t have to talk than anything else. Home. She didn’t really want to go back to Shelling, but there was little choice. Madi had reclaimed her flat, and it was clear Prue would need some help looking after herself over the next week or so as her bruising and burns started to recover. But there was so much left unfinished here …

  ‘There was a boy asking after you.’

  Prue’s heart leapt. Simon?

  ‘Aaron, he said his name was.’

  ‘Ah, that’s nice. I got on really well with Aaron. What did you tell him?’

  ‘That you’re doing well, but going back to Norfolk. He said to get well soon, and not to worry about the garden. That he’ll sort it. Does that make sense?’

  ‘It does.’

  Prue finished her lunch and closed her eyes. She still felt so tired, and her head ached.

  ‘We’ll leave you to have a little sleep, love,’ Stuart said, touching her arm and guiding his wife out of the door.

  ‘Thanks, Dad. See you later.’

  Prue lay in the silence and tried to gather her thoughts. Her memory of that evening was still hazy. She’d walked home with Simon, they’d kissed on the step, and she’d watched him start to walk away. That bit was clear as day, and just remembering the kiss sent a shiver through her. And after that … going into the flat, only putting the one light on, padding through to the kitchen in the semi-darkness to make herself a drink. No, she hadn’t got that far, had she? There had been no drink. Just a noise, a movement, someone there. She had reached for a weapon. The kettle. Blue lights and bubbles. Held it up. Held her breath. But then there was nothing. Just a deep darkness that had slowly unravelled itself into hospital lights and strange beeping noises and pain. Voices. A bed. A story about being attacked. It was as if that part – the attack part – had happened to someone else. She couldn’t recall it at all. Being hit. Lying on the floor. The hot water. How long had she been there? It could have been hours. It felt like seconds.

  She drifted off into sleep. A happy sleep, awash with dreams. Of a beautiful garden, the warmth of the sun, the scent of herbs, the feel of big strong arms wrapped around her.

  When she heard the tap on the door it was as if it was all part of the dream. A foot tapping against a new wooden bench, a woodpecker tapping at the bark of a tree, the rhythmic back and forth creak of a swing. No, there was no swing. She’d decided not to have a swing. This wasn’t her garden, not her plan. The tapping stopped and the door opened. It wasn’t the door to the garden. It was the door to her hospital room. A voice broke into her dwindling dream and blew it all away. ‘Miss Harris? Prue? Are you awake?’

  She opened her eyes and turned her head towards the door.

  ‘Inspector Fletcher. We spoke yesterday. I’m sorry to disturb you again, but there’s been a development. I thought you should know.’

  ‘Come in. It’s okay, I’m awake now. Have you seen my parents? Are they …?’

  ‘Here, love.’ Her dad followed the policeman into the room, her mum just a pace behind. ‘We’ve had a lovely coffee and a cake, and we’re back.’

  ‘That’s good. I can speak to you all together.’ The inspector stood at the end of the bed, as if unsure whether he should pull up a chair. ‘I’m pleased to report that we believe we now know who was responsible for the attack.’

  ‘Thank God for that.’ Stuart slumped down onto the bedcovers at Prue’s feet. ‘And I hope you’ll be keeping them locked up and throwing away the key.’

  ‘The person in question is not in police custody, sir.’

  ‘Why the hell not? If you know who it is …’

  ‘I’m sorry to say that we retrieved a body earlier today, from the railway line. It looks very much like a suicide. And there was a note. Well, more of a letter, I suppose. A full confession, in fact. Suffice it to say, we will not be looking for anyone else in regard to our enquiries, Miss Harris.’

  ‘Oh, my God. You mean it was the person who attacked me? And that they’ve … been hit by a train? Killed themselves?’

  The police officer lowered his eyes and nodded. ‘I’m afraid so, yes.’

  ‘But, why? Why would anyone do that? To me? To themselves?’ Prue shuddered. ‘I can’t imagine … Oh, it’s just horrible.’

  ‘It is indeed. A horrible business. For the rail staff and the ambulance crew who had to deal with the incident especially. Not a pretty sight, when something like that happens on the tracks.’

  ‘And can you tell us who it was?’ Faith had a hand to her mouth as if she was about to be sick. ‘And why …’

  ‘I can assure you that your daughter was not the assailant’s target, Mrs Harris. The person in question was known to Miss Cardew, and it was Miss Cardew who was the intended victim. I’m sorry, Prue, but you were very much in the wrong place at the wrong time, it seems. It could have been much worse, of course, and we must be grateful that she didn’t manage to inflict a great deal more harm.’

  ‘She
?’ They all said it together.

  ‘Yes. A fellow resident of Belle Vue Court, apparently. I have officers there now. We need to inform the next of kin, you’ll understand, so I can’t say a lot more right now. I just thought you should know that the danger has passed, there is no assailant waiting out there to try again. That you are safe. And that there will be no need for a court case, obviously. No need for you to have to testify.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘I’ll leave you in peace now. And, if I don’t see you again, I wish you a speedy recovery and a safe journey home. Goodbye, Miss Harris … Mr and Mrs Harris.’

  Chapter 41

  MADI

  The police were back. There were two cars parked outside, right on the double yellow lines, three uniformed officers down in the hall, and the same policeman she had met before – Inspector Fletcher – was shaking the rain from his mac as Madi came in after them, a folded newspaper clutched in her hand. She had been curious to read the reports George had mentioned that morning and had been lucky to pick up the last copy of the paper in the shop. Now she got the distinct impression that whatever it said was going to be old news. It was clear from the level of activity here and now that something else had happened.

  ‘Miss Cardew, may we have a word?’

  ‘Of course. Do you want to come up to the flat?’

  ‘I think that might be best.’

  She led the way up to the top floor and let him in, one of the constables close behind.

  ‘Would you like to sit down?’ She pushed the pile of freshly washed towels out of the way and pointed to the sofa. From the window she could see someone out in the back yard, unloading pots and plants and a pile of shiny garden tools from a big wheelbarrow, despite the drizzling rain. ‘Tea?’

  ‘Tea would be very welcome, thank you. I’m afraid I have news that you may find distressing, so please get yourself a drink too, something a tad stronger if you think you might need it, and then we’ll sit and have a little chat.’