February 22nd
“Jake Mansfield is here to see you, Mr. Monroe,” Heidi’s voice calls from the intercom on my desk, pulling me out of my daze.
Rolling my shoulders, I sigh and push the button to reply. “Send him in,” I clip.
Tension mounts in my body as I straighten myself in my chair and wait for the private investigator, anxious to see what he’s come up with. I’ve hired Jake to help me on several cases before, and I know he always does a very thorough job, but this time, it’s personal.
Heidi pops her blonde head in my door, smiling at me expectantly as I grind my teeth. I don’t have time for her brand of bullshit right now. The dumb girl is acting like she hit the jackpot, like she and I are some kind of couple now. She’s too stupid and desperate to realize I told her what was needed to get her in my bed again. I’d never actually be with someone who would so easily and willingly spread their legs for me like that.
When I merely blink at her, my expression cold, her face drops. Her head hangs as she swings the door open for Jake, then ushers out behind him before closing it again.
“What did you find out?” I ask, eyeing the folder in his hand as he approaches my desk.
Coming to a stop, he extends the folder to me, his posture rigid and cold. Dread settles in my gut as I take it, eyeing him cautiously as he sits. I didn’t think Jake was the kind of guy to get nervous, and I’m not sure I want to know what’s causing his unease.
When Julianna left me and headed back to Tennessee, I didn’t expect her to last a week. Before we were married, she couldn’t wait to get out of there, and I was certain once she remembered, she’d come running back to me. But she’s stubborn and unwilling to accept any of the responsibility for what happened.
I’m a man, and I have needs that weren’t being met. I don’t know what she’s so upset about. She’s the one I love. Sleeping with other women is a necessity, and I do it because I love her. It’s my way of making sure she doesn’t have to deal with the more primal side of me. None of those women ever got anything from me outside of a good lay. All married men seek out other ways for sexual release. Some may choose their hand and some porn, but it’s no different. If she hadn’t come home early from her trip, things would still be moving along as they always have.
I’ve tried to give her some space and time to realize how good she had it with me, but when she came back here to pack up her things, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Julianna is mine, whether she wants to accept that right now or not, and I’m going to get back what belongs to me. The first order of business is figuring out what I’m up against.
He clears his throat, averting his eyes away from mine as I place the folder on my desk without looking inside.
“There wasn’t much to report at first. She was staying with an Elizabeth Shea and her two children, and it looks like the man she brought here, a Brenden Scott, is involved with Elizabeth not Julianna.”
Letting out a sigh of relief, I relax back in my chair, thankful she’s not screwing that big fucking hoodlum she let into our home, but I know something bad is coming.
“Go on… What do you mean was staying?”
“She moved into an apartment over the weekend.”
“How’s that possible? She isn’t taking any money from me and doesn’t have any of her own.”
“She’s employed, sir.”
“Employed? She has little to no work experience and no degree, where’s she working, Walmart?”
“She’s employed at EJ Photography, a small local business owned by an Eric Winston.”
That name echoes in my head as my fists slam on the desk. She lied to me. I’d asked her outright if she was screwing him, and she lied to me. My nostrils flair as I take deep breaths, trying to calm my racing pulse. Fucking Eric Winston. I hate that prick. He’s always wanted to take her from me, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that happen.
“I’m afraid it gets worse. It appears the two are involved.”
His eyes skirt to the folder in front of me, then back up to meet mine, and I know what’s waiting inside for me. He has proof—photographic proof she’s a lying whore.
THE EX-FACTOR
February 25th
The intercom cracks, then buzzes, interrupting the fiery embrace I’m enjoying with Julianna on the edge of the desk, my hands on her ass and mouth devouring hers as she stands pressed between my legs.
“Eric?” Roxy calls.
Julianna giggles as she backs away, and I groan, already feeling the ache from the loss of contact.
“No, you don’t.” I smirk, pulling her back in place. “Whatever it is can wait a fucking minute.”
She hums in agreement and nods as she wraps her arms back around me, bringing her lips to mine again. Just as I’m getting lost in the feel of her body, taste of her tongue, and scent of hair again, the intercom screeches a second time.
“Eric, there’s someone here to see you.” Roxy’s tone is more urgent and agitated this time.
Julianna breaks our kiss and rests her forehead on mine. Her beautiful blue eyes appear almost black as they peer into mine, her breaths quick. “I should go, and you should see who that is.”
“Not yet,” I beg. Tightening my grip on her with one hand, I reach for the call button with the other. “Tell them I’ll be out in a minute.” Before she can respond, I turn the speaker off, then place my hand back where it had been. “Now, where were we?”
When my lips lock with hers again, I find myself wishing the rest of the world would cease to exist so I never had to stop kissing her. In high school, I’d fantasied about being able to kiss her this way. Sometimes when I was with her, I’d get so lost in my daydream, she’d have to pull me out.
Julianna seems self-conscious about the fact the we haven’t moved beyond this point, making several comments about our “juvenile” make-out sessions. For me, it feels like living out those dreams, and I’m perfectly content. Though we’ve known each other for years and I’ve been in love with her for a lifetime, we’ve only been together for about two weeks—the best two weeks of my life.
Heavy footsteps echo through the hallway outside my office, followed by shouting, and we break our kiss again. My eyes land on the door as it swings open, and my entire body goes tense when I see her. Everything moves in slow motion as her lips curl into a devious smile, her presence paralyzing me, and I watch frozen as Julianna turns in my arms to face her.
“Hard at work I see,” Cara ridicules, stepping into the office. She cuts her eyes at me before her glare slips over to Julianna, sizing her up with a look of pure disdain on her face.
Julianna steps away from me, straightening her clothes and smoothing her hair as Roxy pops her head in the door.
“I’m sorry. I tried to stop her.” Roxy shoots daggers at the back of Cara’s head.
Pushing myself off my desk to stand, I lift my hand, letting her know I don’t blame her. She nods before glancing over at Julianna, concern painted on her face, then leaves.
I glare at Cara, who’s still staring at the person I can’t bear to look at right now. Her eyes meet mine as I step into her line of sight, and she lifts her eyebrows as she chuckles.
“You need to leave now.”
“Don’t be rude, darling.” She smirks. “You should at least introduce me before you rush me out the door.” My body goes rigid as she steps around me toward Julianna, dread settling like a hundred-pound weight in my gut. “Is this one the real deal, or just another carbon copy?”
“Excuse me?”
Turning, I reach for Cara’s arm in an attempt to drag her away from Julianna. “That’s enough, Cara!”
Julianna inhales a sharp breath, forcing me to finally look at her. She seems paler as her wide eyes meet mine before snapping back in Cara’s direction. Rapidly blinking as the puzzle pieces fall into place, her forehead creases.
“So, you do know who I am.” Cara’s lips curl, enjoying Julianna’s discomfort. “But…you di
dn’t realize his taste was so singular, did you?” She pulls her arm free from my grip and takes another step toward Julianna. “You’re her, aren’t you? His precious Jules, the original dark-haired, blue-eyed girl. I can’t believe you’re the girl I couldn’t live up to. What’s so special about you? You look like a used-up slut to me.”
Julianna’s palm comes crashing down on Cara’s cheek as I move to grab her again, hitting her so hard, the slap reverberates off the walls of my small office. Cara swings at Jules, trying to retaliate as I pull her away, holding back my laughter.
“What’s the matter, did I hit a nerve?” Cara hollers as I force her down the hallway toward the exit.
Roxy asks if she needs to call the cops as we pass by the front desk, and I shake my head no as I scoot her outside.
“Why the hell are you here?” I demand, letting go of her.
She looks up at me, hurt clear on her face, as if she’s the type of human who has feelings, and rubs her arm, though we both know I didn’t hurt her physically or emotionally. She’s obviously playing a game, but I took my piece off her board a long time ago.
“I wanted to see you, to talk to you. Is that such a crime? You did promise to love me until death do us part once, but I guess none of that matters now that you have the only person you’ve ever really loved. Why bother showing some common decency to the stand-in?”
“You left me, Cara. It’s been years without so much as a fuck you, and then you show up here acting like this. How do you expect me to be? None of this has anything to do with Julianna.”
“But it does. Everything that happened between us revolves around that woman, and seeing you with her just now…” her words trail off as she drops her head, pretending to wipe away tears before looking at me again. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t prepared for that. The reason I came here was because I wanted a chance to talk, to make things right between us.”
“I have nothing to say to you, Cara, and there’s nothing between us to make right.”
“You might be surprised by what I have to say, if you’d give me the chance, but I can’t make you listen. Give me a call if you change your mind.”
As I huff out a laugh, she turns on her heel and walks away. As soon as she’s in her car, I take a calming breath before stepping back inside, locking the door and flipping the open sign to closed. Roxy pops up beside me as I watch Cara pull away.
“Do you want to tell me why the hell your ex-wife was here?”
“I would if I could, but I have no clue what the hell that was all about.”
“Well, what did she say?”
“That she wanted to talk and make things right between us.”
“Gross.”
“Pretty much.”
“I think Julianna is pretty shaken. She asked me to tell you she’d be waiting for you upstairs.”
Sighing, I nod, then head for my apartment, dreading the conversation about to take place.
Julianna is sitting in the middle of my couch with her feet curled underneath her and a beer in her hand, staring blankly at the wall. My already racing heart goes even more frantic when she doesn’t acknowledge my presence. In a matter of minutes, Cara managed to completely screw things up for me. It couldn’t have worked out better for her if she’d planned it that way. She couldn’t have come here hoping to cause problems with Julianna, though. There’s no way she could’ve even known she’d be here. Which leaves her motive a mystery, but it wasn’t one I planned on figuring out.
After grabbing my own beer from the fridge, I join Jules, taking a seat in the chair across from the couch. My eyes remain glued on her as I twist the cap off the glass bottle and take several gulps. She remains still and silent as I pull it back from my lips, filling me with uncertainty.
“I’m really sorry.”
Her body jerks as her head whips toward me, her eyes wide, as if she honestly hadn’t noticed I was in the room with her. What was she thinking about so intently?
“What?” she breathes, adjusting to face me.
“I was apologizing for Cara.”
Nodding, she averts her eyes again, then takes a sip of her beer.
“You told me once you’d never get married,” she says as her gaze meets mine again. “What changed? Why did you decide to marry her?”
My stomach knots as my muscles stiffen. I know exactly what she’s asking me, but I’m not sure how she’d react to the truth.
“Well, my parents had just ended their marriage when I said that. I was upset.”
“So, you did love her then? Enough to want to marry her after only a couple weeks?”
My skin heats from her glare, and I shift in my seat as I lift the bottle to my lips and chug it. Clearly, skirting around her questions isn’t going to work. I’m going to have to face them head on.
Swallowing the last of my beer, I set it down on the end table, then clear my throat. “No, I didn’t love her. I really believed we could build a life together and I could eventually love her, but we were completely wrong for each other.”
“Why did you marry her, Eric?”
“I think you already know the answer to that question,” I sigh.
Her head drops, her shoulders rising and falling in animation. “It was because of me, because I married Christopher, but I don’t understand why.” When she lifts her head again, her eyes shine with tears, causing my chest to ache. “What did you hope to accomplish by marrying that woman?”
Scooting to the end of the chair, I lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees, then run my hands through my hair. My eyes return to her as my hands settle back in front of me, and I shrug.
“At first, I think I thought it would help you see what a mistake you were making by marrying him. Then I hoped she’d help me move on—that she’d help fill the void I was feeling by losing you.”
“Is what she said true? Did her looking like me play a role in it?”
“It’s what drew my attention to her, yeah, and there may have been a part of me pretending she was you.”
Her eyebrows draw together and her throat bobs as she swallows. “God, that’s awful.” Shaking her head again, she glances toward the floor.
“I know,” I acknowledge.
She reaches over to place her beer on the coffee table, uncurling her legs before bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. “I’m a terrible, selfish person,” she hiccups, tears rolling down her cheeks as her stare rests on me.
“What?” I question, moving to sit by her on the couch. Tucking the damp edges of her hair behind her ears, I attempt to wipe away her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “How can you possibly blame yourself for my shitty actions?”
“I’m a coward. Marrying Christopher was my way of running away from my problems instead of facing them. Turns out, he and I weren’t the only ones to pay the price for my weakness. I caused you and Cara pain too. It’s all my fault.”
“There’s no way I’m letting you take all the blame in our failed marriages. Everyone played a role here. Chris cheated on you, and Cara didn’t marry me because she loved me. She was looking for someone to take care of her.”
“Maybe. But if I had been strong enough to face what happened, I never would have married Chris and you wouldn’t have married her.”
“What happened, Jules? What were you running from? Does this have something to do with the guy at the bar or your nightmares?”
“Nightmares?” she screeches, her body tensing.
“Yeah. Sometimes you wake me crying out in your sleep. I’ve tried not to worry about it, but after what you just said…you know you can talk to me, right?”
Her shoulders square and I can practically see her walls going up, the emotion that had been so evident turning off like the flick of a light switch.
“Of course, but there’s nothing to talk about,” she mummers, throwing me a tight smile as she swings her legs over the side of the couch. “Everyone has nightmares. It’s not a big deal.”
Ice cold panic
rushes through my veins as she stands, picking her bag up and throwing it over her shoulder.
“Wait!” I rush out, shooting to my feet. “You don’t have to go…I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine,” she clips. “I’m tired and need a minute to process everything that happened today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
My stomach twists into a knot as she turns away from me and makes her way toward the door.
“Jules, please don’t go. We don’t have to talk at all. We can watch a movie or something. Don’t leave like this,” I plead, moving up behind her.
She pauses, her hand gripping the doorknob as she hangs her head.
“It’s fine, Eric. I’m fine…or I will be.”
Her wavering voice makes it obvious she’s far from okay, but I know trying to force her to open up to me will only push her away. All I can do is watch as she walks out, my head spinning from the helplessness I’m feeling.
IN OTHER NEWS
March 4th
Lizzy hands me a wine glass, then flops down beside me on the couch. Smiling, she lifts her glass to me. “Here’s to an eight o’clock bedtime and some girl time.”
Feeling more at ease than I have in over a week, I connect my glass with hers, then take a good, long sip. Things with Eric have been strained since Cara’s appearance at the studio, but it isn’t what happened with her that’s caused me to be distant; it’s knowing he’s seen through my cracks. He knows I’m hiding something, and it’s only a matter of time before that secret becomes an issue between us.
“So, how are things going with Brenden?”
Lizzy’s face lights up as her lips spread into a huge smile, and my heart swells.
“Things are great,” she gushes. “He’s taking me out on another date tomorrow night. It’s a surprise.” She tries to look annoyed, but her true feelings are reflected in her twinkling eyes. “How are things with you and Eric?”
My stomach flips and I moan, then gulp down the rest of the wine in my glass.
Crushed (In This Moment Book 2) Page 15