Love Me Like I Love You

by Willow Winters

  He lifted his head with a weak smile, clearing his throat. “So…”

  “So…”

  “Good luck on your interview. I know you’ll nail it.” He bumped my chin with his one free fist, a goofy grin on his face as he tried to lighten the mood, pretending neither of our hearts were being torn in two.

  My smile was forced as I responded, “Yeah. Thank you.”

  The silence stretched between us as I stared down at our linked hands. “Billy, I—”

  His hand caressed my cheek, and I leaned into its warmth. “It’s okay, Han. It’s not your fault. We knew this day would come. And I don’t regret any of it. Not a single damn second.”

  I gave him another small smile. He knew me well enough to know what I was about to apologize for. I’d told him I was sorry last night, but he never gave me a chance to explain what for. I hadn’t meant to break his heart. Hadn’t thought about what jumping into all this would do to him. I’d only known what it would do to me.

  He wiped a tear from my cheek, laying a kiss in its place. I sniffed, swiping the rest of them from my eyes.

  “Hey”—he lifted my chin—“before I forget…” He jogged back to the truck, opening the back door, grabbing something resting on the back seat. He strolled back to me, a giant smile on his face, tossing a baseball up in the air as he did. He lifted my hand, placing it in my palm.

  “Here you go, slugger. Your first home-run hit.”

  I snorted a laugh through my runny nose and eyes, staring down at the ball. “This the one?”

  “Yep. At least, I’m pretty sure it is.”

  I rolled it over in my hand, seeing his black signature across the white leather, my heart clenching at the discovery.

  “In another life, that would’ve been worth something.” He nodded toward the signature.

  I choked back a sob. “It is worth something, Billy. It’s worth so much to me.”

  He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets, his back bowing as his shoulders shrugged forward. “Figured it’d at least give you something to remember our last night together.”

  “You got another one of these?” I asked, giving the ball a little toss in the air.

  He nodded, jogging back to his truck, returning with another baseball. I dug through my purse for a pen. Biting the cap off with my teeth, I scrolled my signature across it. I dropped the pen back into my bag, pulling out my favorite red lipstick. I reapplied a little before pressing my lips to the ball.

  He smiled as I handed it back to him. “Now you have one, too.”

  “I already have your panties that I’ll be hunting through the field for as soon as I leave here.”

  I laughed, shaking my head as he flashed that wicked grin at me. As my laughter faded and the aching silence resumed, I took a deep breath, knowing I couldn’t drag this out any longer. It wouldn’t hurt any less.

  “I should go…”

  He nodded, even though he looked like he wanted to object.

  I took a step forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Don’t be a stranger, cowboy.”

  I turned from him, gripping the handle of my luggage. I dug deep for that confidence, for that strength inside me. Straightening my back and doing my best to hold my chin up high, I walked away. I told myself to hold it together until I was out of sight. All I had to do was make it through the airport doors, and only then could I allow myself to fall apart.

  As the automatic doors slid open I felt the tears rushing to the surface.

  “Hannah! Wait!”

  My heart stumbled as I spun around, seeing him chasing after me. He was on me in a flash, his hands, his mouth. I clung to him with everything I had, giving him all that I had. When we finally pulled apart, his head rested against mine, our breathing hard and heavy.

  “Don’t forget this, Hannah. Because I never will. I could search the world for another love like this, and I know I’d never find it.”

  I nodded, no longer able to fight the tears. No longer sure I was doing the right thing by leaving.

  He kissed me one more time before pulling away completely. “Go.”

  I took one more good look at the man who had stolen my heart and did the hardest thing I’d ever had to do: walk away from him again. I slipped through the airport doors and tried to pull myself together as I went through the motions of checking in, telling myself a million times that this was what I wanted, that I was making the right decision.

  “Ma’am, your boarding pass and driver’s license, please?” The same hefty airport security guard sitting behind the podium from a year ago waved me forward.

  “Sorry. Here they are,” I said, digging them from the side pocket of my bag and handing them over.

  “You sure?” he asked, giving me a quizzical raise of his brow.

  I didn’t know if it was because he remembered me, or because I sounded so unsure. Either way, it made me hesitate. I looked back toward the front of the airport, where the exit signs shined red above the doors. Taking a deep breath, I nodded my head.

  He looked them over before handing them back to me. “Enjoy your flight.”

  “Thank you for coming in, Ms. Montgomery. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

  “Thank you,” I said, shaking what I hoped to be my future boss’s hand. “I appreciate your time and the opportunity.”

  As soon as I walked out of the forty-story building that I hoped would become my future place of employment, I called Lottie. The first thing I wanted to do…was call Billy. But the doubt creeped in, and I just wasn’t sure I could handle talking to him yet. I wasn’t sure he’d even want me to call. We hadn’t discussed it. Maybe because deep down, we both knew a clean break was best.

  “Hey! How’d the interview go?” she asked immediately upon answering.

  “Good. I think I might actually get the job. They seemed enthusiastic and very interested.”

  “That’s awesome, Han. If anyone deserves it, it’s you. And they’d be idiots not to snatch you up before someone else.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “I know I am…so…how are you settling back into city life?”

  “Oh, you know…easy enough… How’s everything there?”

  “Hannah, you’ve barely been gone for twenty-four hours. Nothing here changes that quickly, if ever at all.”

  “Yeah, of course. I don’t know what I was thinking…” God, why couldn’t I just spit it out, what I really wanted to ask her? It was Lottie, for crying out loud. “How’s Billy?”

  I heard her heels clicking on the wood floors as she moved into what I assumed was somewhere more private. “Do you really want to know the answer to that?”

  Did I? God, does that mean he’s already moving on? Had he called Lauren to help heal his broken heart? Could I even be mad about it if he had?

  “No.”

  My phone beeped with an incoming call. I pulled it from my face to look at the caller, then pressed it back to my ear. “Hey, Lottie. I have to take this call. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Okay. Take care, Hannah. And if you need anything…”

  “I know…bye, lady.” I clicked over to the other call, while walking down the street. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey, honey. Are you on your way?”

  “Yes, I’m headed that direction now.”

  “Great, your father and I are already here and have a table.”

  “Perfect. See you soon.”

  I crossed the street to the waterfront as a new wave of thick clouds moved in washing the whole city in gray. After checking my phone one more time for a call or text I knew in my heart may never come, I slipped it back into my purse and opened the door to the restaurant. It was one of our favorites. We’d been coming here for years, whether for a casual meal or celebration.

  Bypassing the hostess stand, I searched the room for my parents. My mom waved frantically from a booth by the window that overlooked the water. I smiled, happy to see my parents. They were two of my favorite people in t
he world. I counted myself very lucky to have them in my life and to have the relationship I had with them.

  They both stood from their seats as I approached the table, showering me in hugs and kisses. Mom switched sides to sit with my father, giving me the opposite booth seat all to myself. As they slid into their seats, hands clasped on the top of the table, a little pang of longing seeped into my chest.

  My parents had always been my greatest examples in life. I wanted to be like them in every way. They were the ideal couple, the best parents, the greatest friends. On the surface I was a lot like them. I had my mother’s beautiful looks, and wafer-thin figure. I had my dad’s smarts and tenacity. The only thing I fell short on was having a soulmate, the way they had each other.

  “We’ve already ordered your favorite bottle of champagne,” Mom said as she picked up the lunch menu to look at the day’s specials.

  “Champagne? Really?”

  “What?” Her normally silky voice squeaked a little higher as she shrugged her right shoulder. “This is a celebratory lunch.”

  “It was just an interview, Mom, not a job offer.” Yet. Or at least, I hoped.

  She fluttered her hand in my direction. “Nonsense. You’ll get the job. And when you do, we’ll celebrate with two bottles of champagne.”

  I looked to my dad, who was the more sensible of the two. With a light shrug, he took a drink of his water. We both knew there was no arguing with my mother when her mind was made up.

  Once our champagne had been poured, our orders taken, Mom sat forward conspiratorially. “Sooo…have you heard from him?”

  Cheeks burning, I lifted my glass of champagne. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation with my parents. I didn’t want to disappoint them with my foolishness. How did I tell them I willingly let my heart fall for a man I could never be with?

  “Adele,” my father chided softly, always coming to my rescue.

  “Please, Phillip,” my mother shushed him. “I don’t see the harm in asking. I was just curious if the man who has swept our beautiful, brilliant baby girl off her feet has called her?”

  Giving my dad an appreciative smile, I spoke up for myself, “No.” I set my glass back on the table, pinning my mother with my stare. “The answer is no. He hasn’t called, and I don’t expect him to. I told you, we weren’t that serious.”

  She sat back in her seat, her lips pressed tight as she inspected me. As she came to some conclusion, a smile curled onto her face. “He will.”

  Did I mention I got my romantic notions and hard-headedness from my mother?

  I spent the rest of the afternoon with my parents, not ready to be alone again. As the hours passed, I knew I had to leave their sides eventually unless I decided to admit to them how heartbroken I really was. I was pretty sure they knew anyway. Mom hadn’t brought it up again, and my father kept giving me comforting side hugs and knowing looks as we walked through Pike Place Market.

  When we finally said our goodbyes, I took the sushi I’d picked up for dinner and headed home. When I’d arrived home to an empty apartment, realizing Billy wouldn’t be walking in at any point, the loneliness settled in again.

  Curling up on the couch with my sushi and wine, I flicked on the TV. I aimlessly surfed through the channels, stopping on a baseball game. I sat back, watching the game. I had no idea who the teams were or which one I was cheering for, but just watching it made me feel a little less lonely for some reason.

  Halfway through my meal, my phone vibrated on the coffee table in front of me. I picked it up, looking at the pop-up message.

  Billy: Hey blondie, how was your interview?

  With a tingling in my limbs, I bit at my grinning lip as I typed out my response to Billy.

  Hannah: I think they may make me an offer. I don’t want to get my hopes up, though.

  Billy: I’m sure they will. I have no doubt you knocked it out of the park, slugger.

  Hannah: Speaking of…guess what I’m doing right now.

  Billy: Shit…we already going there? Shouldn’t you warm a guy up first? Let me know where you’re laying and what you’re wearing?

  I laughed like a teenage schoolgirl, my fingers rapidly typing away.

  Hannah: No. Head out of the gutter, cowboy.

  Billy: Damn. Way to get my hopes up… So what are you doing then?

  Hannah: Watching a baseball game.

  Billy: Alone?

  Hannah: Yes. Alone.

  Billy: Damn, sweetheart. We really are going there then. That gave me as much wood as finding your lace panties earlier today.

  Hannah: You’re terrible.

  Billy: I’m calling you. Answer.

  Within seconds my phone rang, jolting my heart a little, even with his forewarning.

  Clearing my throat, I answered, “Hey.”

  “Much better,” I heard the smile in his voice. “So, what game are you watching?”

  I glanced over at the TV. “Um…a white and a blue team.”

  He chuckled. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess you’re getting your local team’s game. So that would be the Seattle Mariners and Minnesota Twins game on tonight. Give me a sec, I’ll see if I can find the game on ESPN and we can watch together.”

  I heard shuffling in the background as I assumed he got himself comfortable on the couch. “Yep. That’s them. I guess that means I should be going for the Mariners,” I said as I heard his TV flip on.

  “It’d make the most sense, but not everyone always chooses to root for the local boys. Some like an underdog.”

  For some reason, I got the feeling he wasn’t just referring to sports when he made the comment. Maybe it was the sad undertone in his voice. Wanting to just enjoy this little unexpected time talking with him, I decided not to overanalyze it. Decided not to think about what we were doing, what this meant, how even this could only last for so long.

  I set my wine and dinner aside, grabbing a blanket from the back of my couch to cover up with. We spent the rest of the time talking and laughing between plays. Billy did his best to explain the game and stats to me. I listened closely, not so much because I wanted to know everything about baseball, but because I loved just listening to his voice.

  At some point, I had begun feeling less lonely and more relaxed, falling asleep with him hanging onto the other end.

  Chapter 16

  BILLY

  After pretending to check the time on my phone for the millionth time that day, I tucked it back into my pocket.

  “Still no word from her, huh?” Wes’s elbow hung out the window as we rolled into town, the warm breeze cutting through the cab of the truck.

  I’d planned to make the trip to the feed store on my own, but Wes had insisted on coming with me and on being the one to drive.

  Resting an arm on the passenger door, I stared straight ahead. “Just checking the time.”

  “There’s a clock right here in the dash.” He knocked his fist over the top of it, in case maybe I’d missed it.

  “So there is.” I shrugged it off, trying not to let the fact that he’d called me out annoy me. “Habit, I guess.”

  I caught his smug grin from the corner of my eye and flipped him off. “What does it even matter to you?”

  “She didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “That we’re BFFs.”

  I scoffed a laugh. “Shit. You’re delusional, man.”

  “You know, she tells me the same thing…”

  “Exactly. If you were BFFs, she would’ve mentioned that to me.”

  We’d talked every night since Monday night. And even though I knew that was now our unspoken arrangement, I was still hoping to hear from her sooner today. She’d been told she would hear something at the end of the week on whether she was going to be offered the job.

  It was now Friday, so I was waiting impatiently on her call or text. She’d been on my mind all day, every damn day. The thought of getting to talk to her not once but twice today had me acting like a
neurotic idiot, checking my phone constantly in case I missed it.

  He shrugged. “She’s just playin’ hard to get.”

  “You better not be trying to get anything from her.”

  Holding his side, he laughed, his head shaking as he turned into the parking lot. “It’s too easy, man.”

  “What?”

  “Gettin’ a rise out of you when it comes to her.” He shifted the truck into park, throwing his arm over the back of the seat as he looked over at me. “You do know I never had interest in her like that, right?”

  I gave him a look of doubt. We both knew Wes liked the ladies, liked getting his dick wet with as many women as he could. I was pretty sure his goal was to screw every halfway-decent-looking woman in Greene County before he died.

  “Don’t get me wrong, she’s hot. But I wouldn’t do that to you, man. I was only flirting with her to get you to quit being a pussy and go after what you wanted. What I knew she wanted.”

  “You’re a dick, man.”

  “Yeah. And I got a pretty nice one. Just ask around.”

  “No, thanks,” I said, taking in my surroundings for the first time as we climbed out of the truck. “This isn’t the feed store.”

  “No shit, Sherlock. Figured you could use a little batting practice before our rematch next week. You were looking pretty sorry at the last game.”

  I shook my head with a light chuckle. “Yeah, well at least I actually hit the ball.”

  “Well, if some asshole hadn’t been pitching that last game, I would’ve had a hit too.”

  He threw a playful jab at my shoulder. Aaron and Tucker pulled into the parking lot behind us as Wes walked around to the back of his truck, pulling out a couple bats.

  The four of us walked toward the batting cages, my hand digging into my pocket once again for my phone. Still nothing but a blank screen.

  After the unexpected batting practice, the four of us crowded into a booth at Kathy’s. Miss Debbie walked up, a soft smile on her face as she saw our group.