Love Me Like I Love You

by Willow Winters

  “Yes. I’m exhausted and want to sleep before I go to work.”

  “Okay. I love you, Si. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

  I just nod, trying hard not to be mad at her. She didn’t mean to set off the shitstorm, and it all goes back to Chase anyway. It was only a matter of time before I found out.

  Lisa leaves, and the cats jump up in the bed, meowing until I get up to feed them. My eyes are swollen and red from crying. I hope a few hours of sleep will give them enough relief. I don’t want anyone to ask me what’s wrong. There’s no way I can keep it together then.

  Wednesday night comes and passes with no word from Chase. Josh called, asking me if I’d seen his brother, which makes everything seem so much more definite. Chase is gone.

  Scott was working when I called during the day and called me back late Wednesday night. I poured myself a big glass of wine, drinking it fast to give me the courage to tell Scott everything.

  And I did. We stayed up until three o’clock talking. I miss my brother. He has this cool calmness to him and is always able to see things rationally without being too cold like Sam. He’s the middle child and is literally the perfect blend between Sam’s uptight personality and my sometimes-over-the-top free-spiritedness.

  The moment I told him about the miscarriage, he wanted to get on a plane and come here. I’m still not sure he’s not on a plane right now. Scott didn’t give me infinite wisdom, but just talking about everything made the weight on my shoulders a little lighter.

  I fell asleep on the couch around four in the morning, and got up just an hour or so later and dragged myself into my room. Thunder rumbles in the distance, and light rain starts to fall.

  At eight-thirty, my phone rings. It’s on the nightstand next to my bed, and it wakes me up. There have been many times where I’ve slept through phone calls, but my hyper vigilance to hear from Chase wakes me from a dead sleep.

  Only, it’s not Chase. It’s Mrs. Williams.

  “I’m sorry to wake you, dear,” she says when I sleepily answer. “And I’m sorry to ask this of you since it’s your day off.”

  “Ask what?”

  “If you could open the store today. It might be the last time.”

  “The last time?”

  “The real estate agent just called. We got an all-cash offer and the buyer is willing to pay more if we can get everything settled today.”

  “Oh. Wow.”

  “It’s sudden, honey, I know.”

  “Yeah.” I close my eyes, feeling guilty that I’m not sharing any excitement. “I’ll be at the store.”

  I’m tired, but I know trying to sleep for another half-hour is pointless. I can’t shut off my mind either. What am I going to do when the store closes? The family business has always been a backup plan, just one I never thought I’d have to execute.

  The for-sale sign is gone by the time I get to the store. Fat raindrops fall down in a fury, and storm-thick clouds gather overhead. I take my usual spot behind the counter and look around. Being inside a bookstore on a stormy day is heaven. I’m really going to miss this place.

  With the rain, business is slower than usual. I’m okay with that because I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone. I’m teetering on the edge of bursting into tears, and I’m starting to get annoyed with myself.

  I don’t like being sad.

  Around one o’clock, Mrs. Williams and Jackie Lewis, one of the two real estate agents in Summer Hill come in. Mrs. Williams is beaming ear to ear. I guess that buyer paid the extra cash to get this place today.

  “Everything is taken care of, I see.” I notice the stack of papers in Jackie’s hand that she’s keeping dry inside her raincoat.

  “Almost,” Mrs. Williams tells me. “I sold the building. In two days. For more than my goal. I never thought I’d see the day…” She trails off, laughing.

  “That’s great.” I force a smile. “So, what does that mean for the books?”

  “That’s up to you dear.”

  “What?”

  Mrs. Williams looks at Jackie and smiles again. “The buyer has a proposition for you. He’d like to know if you’d be interested in buying the building from him.”

  I cock an eyebrow. “But he just bought it.”

  “Exactly.”

  Jackie steps forward and slides the paper in front of me on the counter. The confusion leaves me when I look down. My hand covers my open mouth.

  “My client is very motivated to sell,” Jackie tells me, sounding professional as if this is an everyday occurrence. “As you can see, his asking price is very reasonable. He’s covering closing costs as well.”

  Thunder crackles above us and the lights flicker. I blink and look down at the paper again. The building is for sale for a dollar. One. Dollar. My eyes scan the paper, heart skipping a beat when I see the seller’s name.

  Chase Henson.

  “Is he here?” I ask, voice nothing more than a hollow whisper.

  “He might still be at the bank,” Jackie starts. She pulls a pen from her purse and extends it to me. “If you could just—”

  I don’t hear the rest of what she says. If there’s a chance Chase is in town, I need to take it. I push open the door and step into the pouring rain. Life doesn’t hand out do-overs. You don’t always get a second chance. Sometimes, it’s now or never.

  I close my eyes as thunder claps loudly above me.

  Three…two…one.

  “Sierra!”

  I open my eyes and see Chase standing across the street. Rain pelts down on me, and lightning flashes above us. The whole world stops and everything fades. The wind. The rain. The pain.

  I have to get to him. Now. My heart lurches in my chest and I take off, feet splashing in puddles as I leap off the sidewalk. Chase runs for me too, and we collide in the middle of the street. He takes me in his arms, lifting me up off the ground. My arms go around him and he puts his lips to mine.

  I melt into him, bringing my hand to his cheek, cupping his face and kissing him with everything I have. He kisses me back even harder, slipping his tongue into my mouth. My heart swells in my chest and tears are falling from my eyes, mixing with the rain. Chase holds me tight, and the feel of his muscles under his wet T-shirt sends me over the edge.

  “Chase.” I move my head back just enough to look at him, needing to see into his hazel eyes and make sure this is real.

  “Sierra.” My name pours from his lips like velvet, and it’s suddenly my favorite thing for him to say. He looks into my eyes, and so much emotion plays on his handsome face.

  Sorrow.

  Love.

  Regret.

  Passion.

  Rain comes down in sheets and the wind picks up. Chase pulls me to him and kisses me again, and jolts of electricity shoot through me. Time stops, and we forget that a storm is raging on around us. Lightning strikes the stoplight near us, sending sparks flying down onto the pavement.

  “You came back,” I whisper.

  “I never left,” he tells me. “Not really.”

  “I went to your house and you weren’t there. I found the phone. I thought you were gone forever.”

  Chase’s brow furrows and he kisses me again. We’re both soaked from rain but neither of us care. It feels so good to be in Chase’s arms again. He moves his mouth from mine to my neck, kissing and sucking my skin. We’re standing in the middle of the street, surrounded by the wind and the rain, as thunder and lightning loom directly overhead.

  None of that matters.

  Chase is here. The dark abyss inside me fills with light. He sets me down and runs his hand over my arms, feeling the goose bumps on my skin.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No,” he says. “It’s not.”

  “You’re right.” I move closer, fingers curling under the hem of his white T-shirt. It’s rain-soaked, and I can see his tattoos through the wet fabric. “I’m mad and I’m hurt, and it feels like you went behind my back listenin
g to those messages. But I don’t want it to tear us apart. We’re going through something hard and painful together, and I need you, and I think you need me too.”

  “I do, but it’s more than that. I never believed in fate or things being meant to be before, and I still don’t think I do. No matter what is thrown at us, how many people keep saying we shouldn’t be together, I keep going back to you. And I always will. I choose you, Sierra. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He grabs me by the waist and kisses me again. Another clap of thunder booms, this one louder than before. We look up, noticing the broken wire from the traffic signal swaying in the wind.

  “We should go in,” he says and takes my hand. “That doesn’t look safe.”

  “Right.” My fingers go between his. “We have paperwork to fill out.”

  Chase puts his arm around me and we hurry to The Book Bag, stopping under the awning in front of the door.

  “You bought the store.”

  “Yeah,” he says. “I did. But I’m in the market to sell.”

  “Why?”

  “You’ve already lost so much. I didn’t want you to lose anything else. You deserve a happy ending, even if it’s not with me…I still want to do whatever I can to give it to you.”

  “I want it to be with you.”

  The wind picks up, blowing rain into our faces. Chase pulls me to him, shielding me from the storm. “I fucked it up, didn’t I?”

  “No. Not so much we can’t get past it.”

  “I’m so fucking sorry, Sierra.” He bends his head down, resting his forehead against mine. His fingers press into my waist.

  “I forgive you. It might take me some time to get over it, but I forgive you.”

  Chase kisses me again, and I shiver. “Let’s go in.” I nod and he opens the door for me. The bell rings and the calming scent of books surrounds me. Mrs. Williams is sitting behind the counter, smiling.

  “That’s one way to thank him,” she says with a wink. “You found one of the good ones, Sierra.”

  I turn to Chase, taking in everything about him, flaws, mistakes, and all. “Yeah. I did.”

  Chapter 34

  Chase

  I reach down, grabbing a blanket off the floor. The hammock swings and Sierra leans back to balance us out, keeping us from falling to the ground. The wind howls and mist blows through the screen on Sierra’s back porch.

  The storm knocked the power out. Sierra signed the paperwork in the dark inside the bookstore—her store—using the flashlights on our phones to read the fine print. We came back to her house to dry off. We’re together, and I’d love nothing more than to put this all behind us and move on, but I know we can’t.

  There’s a lot unspoken between us, and the scab needs to be scraped off and scrubbed out so the wound can heal properly this time.

  “Where did you go?” Sierra asks, hooking her leg over me. I tuck the blanket around us, keeping the mist from getting on us. “You were gone for more than a day. Josh didn’t even know where you went.”

  “Jackson. For a job.”

  Sierra, whose head is resting on my chest, looks at me. “Why?”

  A smile plays on my lips. “I guess you could call it fate. Jax texted me about it. Seventy-five-thousand-dollar payout. And that was the amount Mrs. Williams needed to sell the store.”

  Sierra closes her eyes and puts her head back down. I wrap her tighter in my arms. Thunder rumbles in the distance, reverberating off the trees.

  “What was the job?”

  “A politician’s mistress took off with his wife’s horse. He needed the horse back before his wife found out…about the horse and the mistress. Contacting the police would have blown his cover, and he paid extra for discretion.”

  Sierra pushes up again, eyes meeting mine. “You never cease to amaze me, Chase.”

  I laugh. “You wouldn’t think so if you saw me trying to get that horse into the trailer.”

  “It’s a bit of an art form for some horses.”

  “I get that now. I’m not the equestrian I like to pretend I am.”

  Sierra laughs. “I can take you to the barn. I used to ride all the time. But I just kind of…I lost interest in almost everything I used to enjoy.” Her breath leaves her in a shaky sigh. “You said you fell in love with me from my messages,” she says slowly. “How is that possible? I was a shell of a person. There was nothing to fall in love with.”

  “There was. Your words…the pain…it was so raw. So real. It hurt to listen to yet it was beautiful. I haven’t lost anyone like you did, but I related to your words more than I realized. I’d been living in denial for a long time, and hearing your messages made me realize it…that I wanted more in life. The love you had…I wanted to find someone to love me like that, and I wanted to love that person back just as hard. It’s fucked up and doesn’t make sense, I know.”

  Sierra doesn’t speak. I gently move so I can see her face. Tears are in her eyes and my heart sinks. Did I say the wrong thing? Was the brutal honesty too much?

  “It does,” she whispers. “It does make sense.” She blinks and tears fall from the side of her eyes, dripping down into her hair. She reaches up, hand landing on my cheek. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

  “I found more.”

  The rain continued to fall the rest of the afternoon. Sierra fell asleep, nestled in my arms. Exhaustion tugged at me, and I fought it as long as I could, wanting to soak up every second of this.

  The sun is setting when I wake up. Tinkerbell is on my chest, purring and kneading the blanket with her paws. Dolly is sitting on the table next to the screen, laying in between a collection of colorful lanterns. Humidity clings to the day, and the setting sun takes away the heat.

  I brush Sierra’s hair out of her face and kiss her cheek. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles as soon as she sees me.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “It’s okay,” she yawns. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I, uh, haven’t been sleeping well.”

  “I haven’t either. We both needed to nap.”

  She looks at the setting sun. “Yeah, I guess we did.”

  “Are you still in pain?” I ask carefully.

  “Not really. It feels like a normal period now. What about you? You should not have worked a job like you did.”

  “I know,” I agree. “I felt it the next day.”

  The hammock sways as Sierra sits up enough to look at my wound. “It looks bruised, Chase.”

  “It feels like it is. I’ll take it easy now.”

  “You better.”

  “Can Sexy Nurse Sierra—sorry.”

  “What’s wrong?” Sierra tips her head.

  I run my up her arm. “I’m not sure how to handle having sex again after everything.”

  “I don’t either,” Sierra tells me, and brings her arms in around herself. This is a hard topic to discuss. “We’re both on sex restrictions right now. For another week at least.”

  “I’ll wait. However long it takes, I’ll wait.”

  She smiles. “I know.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.”

  “Good. Me too. I can attempt to cook for you again.”

  “I’d like that.”

  We stand and stretch. Sierra picks up Tinkerbell, and Dolly trots along, weaving in and out of our feet.

  “I have to ask one thing,” I tell Sierra and reach down to scoop up the calico cat. “What’s with the cat shelf?”

  Sierra turns, and in the millisecond it takes her to respond my heart races. Then she smiles. “They like to climb on things and be up high. You know they’d love it if we put up a system of shelves around the house.”

  I’m smiling right back. “I did help Josh put up floating shelves in Dakota’s room. I can see the cats hanging out up there.”

  “I know, right?”

  “Where do you want to put them?”

  Sierra looks at Dolly in my arms, and her
smile turns into a grin. “I’ve sketched the whole thing out. Let me show you.”

  I follow her to the stairs. We make it up when someone knocks on the door. I set Dolly on the ground and jog down the stairs to see who’s here. Sierra is behind me, still cuddling Tink.

  Lisa stands on the porch, holding a bag of food and a bottle of wine. Her eyes go from me to Sierra, and her shoulders are timidly pulled in. It makes sense things are tense between the two of them.

  “I brought tacos,” she says, holding out the bag. “I hear we have reason to celebrate tonight.”

  Sierra takes the bag and steps aside, welcoming Lisa in. “We do.”

  Relief washes over Lisa’s face. Sierra takes the wine and tacos into the kitchen, and Lisa grabs my arm.

  “Chase,” she starts, looking at the ground.

  “It’s okay,” I say, surprising myself. “We want to move past everything.”

  “Right, and okay. Good idea.” Then she looks up with a smile. “And about the bookstore…Sierra told me what you did. Thank you.”

  Chapter 35

  Sierra

  My father leans over the table, eyes drilling into Chase. It’s Sunday evening, and we’re all sitting around the table for dinner. The first course has been served, but Dad hasn’t taken a single bite.

  “What’s the most valuable thing you’ve recovered?” he asks Chase, completely fascinated by Chase’s past as a bounty hunter.

  “That depends,” Chase says and rests his hand on my thigh, “on what you consider valuable.”

  “You should tell him about the boat in Scotland,” I say and take a drink of wine.

  “That was fun,” Chase says and goes into detail, starting with the sketchy plane ride in a small aircraft. My entire family is enamored, not eating as they listen to Chase talk about his crazy adventures.

  Across the table, Lisa catches my eye. She picks up her wine and gives me a small toast. I relax in my chair and put my hand on top of Chase’s. He’s still not ‘ideal’ as my mother told me just hours ago, but knowing the truth behind his record has cleared the tension. And now Dad won’t leave Chase alone and keeps firing off question after question.