Love Me Like I Love You

by Willow Winters

  I’d stopped by the gym, squeezed in a quick workout, and hopped in the shower as soon as I came home. I was still drying my hair when my phone rang, and excitement flashed through me. Was Troy unable to wait, and calling me? I raced to grab my phone like a teenager with a crush.

  The number wasn’t his though.

  “Hey, there,” I said.

  Jenna didn’t give me a greeting. “Are you at home?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “Because I’m in your driveway.” She sounded upset. “Troy told me everything, Erika. We need to talk.”

  She said the word talk like a threat, and my heart leapt into my throat.

  “Oh,” was all I could get out before the call disconnected.

  When I unlocked my front door and pulled it open, she came through in a huff, her gaze not meeting mine as she barreled straight for my kitchen. I followed her heavy footsteps and stood by the sink, watching her as she dropped her purse on the counter, reached into my fridge, and popped the top of a . . . Diet Coke?

  Unbearable tension gripped me as she drank. I expected her to be furious, but she looked more irritated than anything else, which was strange.

  “I’m not happy with either of you,” she announced. “He not only kept it a secret, he straight-up lied to me. You did too.” Hurt filled her expression. “How could you not tell me? I thought I was your best friend.”

  “You are,” I said quickly.

  She didn’t look like she believed me. “This is a huge deal, and you kept me in the dark.”

  The guilt I’d shoved away into a closet, suddenly burst open and swept me away. “I’m so sorry. It just happened, and we—”

  “It just happened,” she repeated dubiously. “Yeah, this huge audition for Stella just fell out of the sky, and there was no way either of you could do anything about it, including mentioning it.”

  She took another swig of the Diet Coke, and if I wasn’t so flustered, I might have found the angry way she drank comical. He’d told her everything, and this was what she was upset about? How we’d kept the audition secret, and not that we were sleeping together?

  A voice in my head warned me I was being stupid. She’d said he’d told her everything, and in her mind, maybe he had.

  But there was no way it was true. If it were, she would have come in like an inferno and likely reached for something a hell of a lot stronger than a soft drink.

  “But Troy had enough time to ask off for it,” she said. “And lie to me about what he was doing.”

  My emotions scattered everywhere. There was relief at not having the immediate confrontation, and then my guilt was back, where I promptly began hiding it away again, and finally, irritation. Wasn’t she proud that he’d gotten to perform and was being considered for such a huge opportunity?

  “I’m sorry we lied, but,” I swallowed a breath, “aren’t you happy for him?”

  Jenna gave me a flat look. “Of course, but it’s hard to be happy when I know what’s coming.” Her eyes filled with sadness. “He’s going to be crushed when he doesn’t get it.”

  My heart hurt for Troy because she didn’t believe in him, but also at how she could be right. “He might, Jenna. He’s really good.”

  She said it hesitantly. “You were really good.”

  It wasn’t meant to be mean, but her point stung anyway. I pushed the professional, agent side of my personality to the front as a shield. “That’s not a fair comparison. The market is different between men and women.”

  She sighed. “I just don’t want him to get hurt and see him go through it all again.”

  Everything in my kitchen went still. “Again?”

  “Like what happened with baseball. He wanted to play in the Major League all through high school. It was because he had this coach—bless his heart—filling his head with big ideas. I told him not to listen to it. Troy was a great third baseman, but what he didn’t understand was great kids aren’t actually all that rare. He wasn’t prepared to get cut from the team his freshman year at Randhurst.”

  Oh, my God.

  I remembered how busy she’d been when he was finishing up his senior year because she’d gone to every one of his games, including regionals and state. He’d been on a traveling team too all summer. She’d mentioned he was disappointed about not making the team in college, but that had been years ago, and honestly, I hadn’t paid that much attention.

  “He nearly quit school,” Jenna said. “So, y’all have to forgive me if I don’t want to watch his dreams die a second time.”

  I couldn’t catch my breath. The ache in my chest was too constricting.

  Failing at your dream once was awful, but to have it happen twice? I didn’t want that to happen to anyone, much less to Troy, and my desire for him to land the opening spot increased exponentially.

  I stared at my friend, hoping she could see my conviction. “I can’t guarantee he’ll get it, but what I can promise is I’ll do everything I can to help him with his career.”

  “Career?” She said it with disdain, before softening to a pleading tone. “Please, Erika. No one understands more than you how hard it is to make it in this town. The odds of it are so fucking slim. All I want is to protect him from getting hurt.”

  I understood her concern stemmed from a good place, but . . . “I get it, but he’s an adult.”

  Irritation flitted through her. “Yeah. One who still lives at home.”

  Once again, she wasn’t exactly being fair. He was her only child, and she was rather attached. I smiled to soften the point I was about to make. “You’re telling me you’d prefer he didn’t? You seemed pretty happy when he came home from college.”

  “Of course I was happy. Randhurst is ten hours away.” She set her drink down with a thud, but kept her hand wrapped around the can as she contemplated what to say next. “Look, I want him to be practical. Don’t get his hopes up, because if it doesn’t work out, it won’t just be devastating to him. It’ll be the same for me too.”

  It was true you couldn’t fail if you never tried for anything, but what was the cost? “You want him to give up on his dreams just because he might not get them?”

  “Are they his?” she accused. “Or are you pushing yours onto him?”

  Her question cut right to the bone, possibly because there was truth to it. Troy and I teased last night how I was using him for sex, but was I also using him for this? To fulfill the dream I’d held for myself?

  “Again,” I said tightly, “he’s an adult. He gets to decide what he wants.”

  I stuck a nerve because her shoulders snapped back. She put her hand on her waist and her voice took on a hard edge.

  “Bill needs back surgery. He’s been putting it off because he knows he’ll be out of commission for months, and I can’t run the company by myself. He wanted more than anything for Troy to step up, because . . .” Her eyes abruptly went wet with tears, but she blinked rapidly to hold them back. “Troy’s just as much his son as he is mine. It would mean a lot for him to take over, for Bill to know he was leaving all his hard work in good hands. Family hands.”

  The kitchen was fraught with tension, and I sensed where she was going before she said it.

  “Bill offered it to him tonight. The company he spent the last twenty years building.” Her stare was inescapable. “Troy turned him down. Want to guess why?”

  I pressed my fingertips to the base of my neck. “Oh, Jenna.”

  “This was an incredible opportunity he just passed up, all for a chance at something that I think, frankly, is a fantasy.”

  With the way she was looking at me, there was no need to say it out loud. She blamed me for putting this fantasy in Troy’s head.

  I opened my mouth to defend him, but she cut me off.

  “Troy turned down what Bill and I hoped for, so he could follow this dream. So, I don’t want you to promise us anything, except you won’t let him get hurt. Can you do that?”

  How the fuck was I supposed to answer that,
as either his manager or the woman he was secretly involved with? Nothing was guaranteed in music or life. Certainly not in love.

  Love?

  I must have made a face because Jenna’s soured. “Yeah, I thought so.”

  She left the half-empty drink on my counter, snatched up her purse, and headed for the front door.

  “Wait, wait,” I said, catching her arm in the entryway, finally coming to my senses. She was upset, and she could argue she had a decent reason to be, but I’d let her control the conversation far too long. “I need to say something.”

  Jenna lifted a wary eyebrow.

  “Just you wait,” I told her, “until you see the video of his performance. When he sings, Jenna? Everything stops.” I drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t fill his head with bullshit. You can be mad at me, but I’m not wrong. He’s incredibly talented. In fact, he might have the best vocals I’ve ever heard, as an agent and a musician.”

  She paused. My friend wanted to believe, but her practical side was reluctant. “Really?”

  The word was a whisper from her, but mine was loud and confident. “Really.”

  I wanted her to see his potential like I did. I’d had parents who didn’t believe in me, and their doubt set me up for failure. It made it so much easier for me to give up. I didn’t want that for Troy.

  “You’re going to be so proud,” I said.

  If she didn’t believe in him after that, then I’d have to believe for her too.

  I was in the hot tub with a glass of wine when I heard the back gate creak open, and longing fired through me as Troy appeared in the lamplight from the patio. He had on a simple white t-shirt and his red board shorts. The sun had set recently, and fireflies sparkled in the night air as he set his guitar case down on a deck chair.

  He was so attractive it was disorienting.

  Or perhaps the dizzy feeling he caused was something else. It wasn’t just his body I desired or his music. I wanted all of him now.

  Which was crazy.

  But when he set his gaze on me and flashed a sexy smile, I couldn’t help myself. I wondered if this feeling could last. It was scary how much I wanted it to.

  “Hey. There’s beer in the fridge,” I said, “if you want some.”

  If he noticed I was affected by the sight of him, he hid it well. Troy nodded, disappeared into the house, and emerged with an open can clasped in his hand a minute later. As he sauntered up to the edge of the hot tub, his eyes studied my bikini top like he was determining the fastest way to get it off, and my heart went into overdrive.

  He plunked his beer down in the cupholder on the ledge, grasped the sides of his t-shirt, and lifted. His smooth, tanned skin came into view, and I sucked in a breath. He could be on the cover of a fitness magazines.

  Once he got big, maybe that was something I should look into.

  Crap. It was getting harder to keep the business side separate from our personal relationship when we were alone, and I wondered if I should quit trying to do it.

  Troy stepped out of his flipflops, and I moved to make way for him to climb into the hot tub beside me. The water sloshed around as he dropped into the seat opposite me and spread his arms out across the back edge. It was an invitation to climb into his lap, but I couldn’t take him up on it yet.

  “You told your mom about your audition.” I said it soft and conversational, just loud enough to be heard over the jets.

  The ease in his body vanished. “She called you, huh?”

  “Actually, she came over.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face, then lifted it as if in surrender. “Sorry I didn’t give you a heads-up. I was going to, but she was mad enough with me, I didn’t think she’d want to talk to you right away.” He peered at me cautiously. “How’d it go?”

  “Okay-ish?” I said. “She was upset in the beginning, but we got to talking, and I think that helped.” I’d been able to convince her to stay longer, and by the time she’d left, we seemed to be back on solid ground. “I think she just needs a little more time to process it. It sounded like there were high hopes for you to take over the business.”

  His expression turned grim. “Yeah.”

  “How was your conversation with them? Are you okay?”

  His gaze drifted away from mine as he contemplated how to answer me. “It wasn’t great. I know how much he wanted me to have it, and when I turned it down that hurt his feelings, but . . . I had to. I don’t want it.”

  His attention shifted back to me and his hand dipped down into the water, finding mine resting on my thigh. He pulled my hand up until it broke the surface, and then his fingers played with mine, enticing me to lace ours together.

  The color of his eyes was deeper in the low light. “I’m glad it’s finally done. It feels good to have it out there, not hanging over my head anymore.”

  His subtext came through loud and clear, but I frowned as I stared at our joined hands. “I want to tell her about this too, but we can’t right now. One thing at a time.” I felt flushed and it had nothing to do with the temperature of the water. “I’m not sure what we’d say. I don’t even know what ‘this’ is yet.”

  Our hands sank together under the water, but the connection wasn’t enough for him anymore. Troy leaned forward and scooped me up into his arms, pulling me into his lap.

  His lips brushed against the edge of my ear. “What do you want it to be?”

  It was strange how I had no problem telling him how I wanted sex . . . but talking about emotions or our relationship? It made me skittish. I squirmed in his hold, both against the discomfort of his question and the rush of desire his embrace caused.

  So, I lobbed the ball right back into his court. “Well, what do you want it to be?”

  His laugh was throaty. “No way. I asked first.”

  Instead of answering, I stalled. “Charlotte was curious about you after the auditions. She asked if you have a girlfriend.”

  He ran the tip of his nose along the curve of my neck and enjoyed the pleasurable shiver that ran through my body. “What’d you tell her?”

  “I said I didn’t know.” I was short of breath from his seduction. “Is that how you think of me?”

  He hesitated, but not out of fear. It was cautious optimism. “Do you think of me as your boyfriend?”

  “No way, I asked first,” I teased, although I was entirely serious.

  He sighed dramatically and slid his arms tighter around me. “I thought you weren’t the kind of girl,” he mumbled against my shoulder, “to get all twisted and suddenly be too scared to do something. But it’s okay, Erika. I’m not scared.” He planted a kiss on my skin right beside my bikini strap. “You’ve made me reckless like that.”

  I inhaled sharply at his reference to the song I’d written years ago. It seemed to carry far more meaning now. Did ‘Reckless’—a love song—describe the way he felt about me?

  “Yeah, you’re my girlfriend.” He stated it as a fact. “My amazing girlfriend, who wrote me a song and got me an audition and said she believes in me.” His warm mouth roved up my neck. “She’s also hot as fuck.” His fingers skimmed up my spine, finding the hook at the back of my top and undid it with lightning speed. “And she loves being topless too.”

  I laughed softly as the tension went out of the fabric and the peach swimsuit top began to float in the churning water, tethered to me by the tie still done behind my neck. I made quick work of it and slung the sopping swimsuit over the side of the tub.

  I wasn’t worried about the neighbors seeing. The jets were running, and my breasts were below the bubbling water line, making it hard for Troy to even see me. He used his hands instead to discover my curves and I wrapped my arms around his damp shoulders.

  I whispered it in his ear, my voice rasping with need. “Are you going to fuck me out here?”

  His smile was sly. “Maybe. Why? You think someone might see?”

  “More like hear. Dr. Lowe’s girlfriend isn’t quiet when they use their hot tub.
”

  He went stiff and awkward.

  “What is it?”

  He made a face. “You know I’m friends with Cassidy, right? I mean, I was in high school when she was with Preston. That whole situation is fucked up.”

  I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but I tried to piece it together. “Dr. Lowe’s girlfriend . . . used to date his son?”

  “Yup.”

  “Well, I guess that explains how Dr. Lowe met her,” I said quietly. “She’s half his age.”

  “Like I said, fucked up.”

  I gave Troy a plain look. “Yes, we should definitely cast stones from our glass house.”

  He laughed like I was being ridiculous. “I didn’t mean because of the age thing. You know I don’t care about that.” He softened, returning to his playful self. “What I do care about is getting the rest of this bikini off, and then getting you on my dick.”

  I feigned a dreamy, dramatic look. “God, you say the most romantic things.”

  He chuckled knowingly. “You love it.”

  I really did.

  Troy

  It was three days before the videos were posted on Stella’s site, and by Monday my life became chaos. When I walked in to teach my bootcamp class, one of the other trainers joked loudly, “Hey, the pool boy’s here!”

  Two of the women at the gym asked for my autograph, which was just fucking weird. What else was surprising was how I was leading in the fan poll. But Erika said she wasn’t surprised at all.

  She’d been the one to tell me my audition video was up, right after it was posted last Friday afternoon. I’d been at a jobsite, helping the guys hang drywall when my phone buzzed.

  Erika: Auditions just went live on the site. Here’s the link.

  I’d stepped outside, gone down the lawn until I was away from everyone else, and watched the clip with my hand covering the sides of the screen to cut the sun’s glare. It was shitty conditions for the first viewing, because my screen was small and I wanted to hear the audio through headphones, but it didn’t make the thing any less surreal.