Collected Kill: Volume 2

by Patrick Kill

He pulled out a small box with a collection of both plastic and glass bottles.

  “What do you have to share with us?”

  He faintly smiled, uncapped a liquid-filled bottle and began sprinkling it over everyone.

  Girls giggled and boys smeared the substance on one another.

  “Daniel, you’re making a mess. Please stop it!”

  The Boy With the Razor-Sharp Teeth continued relentlessly dousing his peers in liquids and powders and other substances.

  A glass bottled rolled against my leg. I hesitated to touch it, frightened that it might be some form of potion which would mutate everyone into People With Razor-Sharp Teeth. Finally I mustered the nerve to flip the bottle over and read the label.

  Suddenly Jenny and Susie screamed. Liquids and sandlike granules with an eye-watering fragrance pelted my arm. Crimson splashed against my shirt, running down atop the bottle of meat tenderizer I held tightly. It took what seemed minutes to be brave enough to look up toward the screams.

  Susie’s legs were missing and Tony’s face was half-eaten. Bobby crawled toward the door, dragging behind him a mass leaking from his punctured stomach.

  The door slammed shut. Dark, beady eyes glared at me, but lunged in another direction, to where Ms. Adams stood, breaking a window with an umbrella. The Boy With the Razor-Sharp Teeth came down on her, sinking his mouth into her neck, ripping out a segment of her spine. She flopped wildly against the heat register, her body trembling in shock.

  There was a disturbance at the door, a few more screams, distant sirens closing in.

  I crawled into a corner and sat there, witnessing the boy returning to the wounded to devour what remained.

  Even when the police arrived, the horror of what they saw repelled them from the door. No shots were fired, no dogs came barging in. Just Daniel, the boy with the razor-sharp teeth, and I glaring face to face, surrounded by fresh carnage and crimson-stained carpeting between blood-splattered walls.

  Slowly, his dark beady eyes gazed over to a bottle next to me. He picked up the bottle and serenaded me with tenderizer like a priest exorcising demons with holy water. He smiled and I saw flesh caked against his gums and an entire fingernail stuck in a gap between two pointed teeth.

  In the back of my mind, the screams of my classmates echoed as well as their taunts and name-calling, their cold shoulders, and nasty glares.

  And I understood him. And he, in turn, saw this in my eyes and stopped.

  A tear streamed down his face in a pink line, separating two congruent segments of his own blood-caked cheek.

  “But they were never mean to you just because you were different and they were normal,” he whispered sadly, his eyebrows arched, searching to understand. “They accepted you.”

  I shook my head and looked away in frustration. “You never let them know you. You never gave them a chance to accept—”

  “No!” he shouted. “They would’ve always seen me as the different one.”

  “It is true you have something strange,” I mumbled, feeling the anger bubbling within my mouth, my cheeks expanding with every passing minute. “You have something that they don’t, but if you would’ve let yourself get to know them better you would’ve learned that Susie has a third nipple and Billy has a glass eye. Megan has no genitals and Liz’s really a guy. Jake’s heart is on the outside of his chest and Jimmy thinks he’s a tree. Brandon talks to demons and Ms. Adams is part turkey. And I can’t forget Sarah, poor Sarah, possessed by the ghost of Hitler, nor Jenny having sold her soul for cash. Jackie is a seven-year-old stripper and Bobby is living with a deadly rash. Tony collects chicken heads and Denny lives in a hole. Candy has sex with aliens and Marvin is really a troll.”

  “Ms. Adams...part turkey?”

  “Fears Thanksgiving and gobbles from time to time.”

  “But I didn’t know..I’m so sorry.”

  My heart spasmed wildly within my chest, sweat trickled down my forehead. My jaw cracked. “Didn’t your parents explain why they put you in this class? And that it was a special class...”

  “B-but what about you? You’re normal!”

  I gagged, feeling the anger escape me. My tongue lashed at him. His eyes fluttered in horror as he watched my tongue uncoil and branch into two flickering points which quickly wrapped around his neck and squeezed.

  TWINS

  It was the first time Nathan had really looked at his girlfriend’s vagina. It seemed like such a foreign terrain now, like some kind of stretched and mutated alien landscape. Even the smell seemed odd, like she had been bathing in fish oil or douching with salmon cakes.

  The whole moment of revelation almost eclipsed the excitement of labor. But Nathan quickly snapped out of it as Jenny screamed, “God, get it out of me!”

  “Okay, now push!” the doctor said calmly.

  Nathan stared into the dark tunnel as blood trickled out the side. Mucus and water soon trailed as he could almost see her dilating by the minute.

  “Okay, I see the head!” the doctor informed them.

  Nathan just knelt there, glaring into the dark void that was now eclipsed by a tiny ball of flesh with hair. He dreaded the coming moments, knowing that Jenny was too unstable to become a mom so soon.

  * * *

  The pregnancy was a mistake. Nathan had been seeing Jenny for only six months when they found out the news. Nathan went into a depression after the shock and Jenny was full of excitement and anticipation. Nathan couldn’t understand why.

  Then came the talk about twins. Jenny was suddenly obsessed with having twins. She told him that she had always dreamed about having twins.

  Next came the matching outfits and double strollers. Twin cribs and changing tables.

  But the first ultrasound only showed one.

  And Nathan thought the madness would end.

  It didn’t.

  Next came a new apartment for the “twins” to grow up in. Jenny wanted something with more space, so that both kids could have their own room. Nathan argued with her, stressed the point of the ultrasound, but it was no use.

  “So, it was wrong!” Jenny said. “I’m having twins!”

  “But you seen it with your own eyes!” Nathan shouted.

  “But I can feel them both. My body doesn’t lie to me!”

  Nathan felt his anger subside and sadness and pity eclipse everything. He felt sorry for Jenny. He knew she was unstable. Nuts, to be exact, but he couldn’t muster the nerve to leave her. Not in her fragile condition. And he couldn’t bear to leave his firstborn child to live with a nutcase-mother.

  * * *

  The baby slid out in a torrent of blood and mucus. It didn’t scream. It didn’t move.

  The doctor flipped it over and slapped its back. Nathan noticed its body was blue, its head was strangely oblong.

  Another slap and Nathan heard it cough.

  The doctor siphoned the excrement from its mouth and cleaned off its body. He wrapped it in a towel and turned to Jenny, “Congratulations, Mom. It’s a boy.”

  Jenny took it into her arms and cried and Nathan felt his own lip quivering at the sight.

  Then Jenny handed the baby to Nathan and started pushing again.

  “What are you doing?” the doctor asked.

  “My other baby is in there!”

  “No. Stop pushing, Jenny. There was only one.”

  Nathan bundled his son up tight and took a deep breath. The doctor briefly glanced over at him, and Nathan shook his head.

  “Please stop pushing, Jenny. You might hemorrhage.”

  “No!” she screamed, “Get the fuck down there and deliver my other baby!”

  “Nurse!” the doctor yelled.

  Nathan stared between her legs as a nurse rushed in.

  “Restrain her!”

  Jenny started fighting the nurse, screaming and kicking. The doctor held her there and managed to work on her stomach, massaging it until a bloody mass plopped out of her. Nathan cringed as the doctor threw the chunk of afterbirth o
n a scale and said, “That’s it, Jenny. I’m sorry but there was only one.”

  Jenny calmed down suddenly, like the realization finally struck her.

  In the middle of the chaos of nurses checking vitals and other nurses administering medicine, Jenny requested that everyone leave her room. The doctor looked again to Nathan, as if to ask why? Nathan just shook his head and was the first to leave. The nurses and doctor quickly finished up weighing the baby, set the IV drip, stitched Jenny back up and turned on the heat lamp where they placed the baby beneath.

  Jenny just stared hollowly at the ceiling as each left the room.

  When Nathan returned, Jenny had cleaned the blood off the floor and replaced the sheets by herself. She wouldn’t speak to him. She just slept.

  * * *

  A day later, she was still hospitalized. The nurses were monitoring her condition around the clock. She was treated with antidepressants and all sharp objects were removed from her room.

  Nathan had to return to work as Jenny’s mother watched after the baby.

  Around noon, Jenny’s mother called the office.

  “They’re sending her home today,” she stated, “The drugs have stabilized her depression and she has really come to terms with it all. She’s smiling and joking around. We’re packing right now.”

  “Great!” Nathan said, “I’ll meet you at the apartment.”

  He arrived at the apartment just as Jenny’s mother was leaving.

  Jenny was waiting for him. She gave him a kiss at the front door and hugged him.

  “Where’s Daniel?”

  “Shhh,” she whispered, “He’s sleeping.”

  Nathan smiled.

  Jenny smiled back. “And so is Nathan Jr.”

  Nathan’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

  “They’re both sleeping!”

  Nathan glanced into the nursery to see the familiar sight of two cribs set side by side. He took a deep breath and swallowed hard, fearing that she had somehow stolen another baby on her way out.

  Jenny led him by the arm until they entered the nursery. Nathan glanced in on the first crib and saw Daniel curled up and sleeping soundly.

  A hollow feeling suddenly pulsed through his gut.

  He shifted to look into the other crib.

  And his breath caught.

  “Christ!” he managed to say. And he closed his eyes. But that didn’t make the vision go away.

  In the middle of the crib, covered in a tiny blue afghan, lay the bloody remains of her placenta.

  Nathan backed away after noticing the bloodstains on the baby mattress and how the piece of afterbirth had shriveled and blackened since he had seen it excreted from Jenny’s vagina.

  He tripped over the double stroller and crawled out of the nursery. Jenny seemed not to be phased by his actions. She just stared lovingly over the 1-foot liver-like clump of bloody waste that should have been discarded by the nurses in the hospital.

  And he suddenly knew why Jenny had asked the nursing staff to leave so suddenly during the clean-up.

  * * *

  Nathan tried to talk with her, but the first time he did, she was nursing it.

  She had even put a diaper on it.

  Nathan cringed, watching her tit wiggle across the hard, cold, blood-encrusted piece of afterbirth. Beads of milk trickled against the side of the mass and dropped to the couch.

  “That’s a boy, Nathan Jr. Drink Mama’s milk, it’s good for you!”

  Nathan felt his stomach turning.

  “You haven’t even held Nathan Jr. yet.”

  She held the blackened bundle toward Nathan and all he felt was pity and sorrow for her. Had he caused her to become this delusional by knocking her up? Maybe if he would have worn the condom, none of this would have ever happened. He loved Jenny and planned on marrying her someday. But now, she had lost all common sense. Guilt slowly flooded Nathan and his sorrow grew.

  Once the tiny cold bundle was in his arms, he gazed down at the surreal scene. He could see tiny vein-like clusters branching from the afterbirth. When he looked at it in a certain direction, it almost resembled a baby. A really fucked up baby, but a baby nonetheless.

  “Give your son a kiss.” Jenny urged.

  Nathan complied just to keep her calm. He lowered his lips and kissed the cold flesh-like lump. It tasted briefly of copper and salt. He gagged. Took a breath. Then threw up.

  * * *

  Nathan’s parents were expected to arrive any minute.

  He paced the floor as Jenny was changing Daniel’s diaper and was readying herself to change Nathan Jr. as well.

  Holy shit, Nathan thought. He had planned to sneak into the nursery the night before and take the piece of afterbirth for a long ride. He was planning on telling Jenny that Nathan Jr. had been stolen. But then she would call the cops. They would surely take her away and he would be stuck with Daniel and he had no idea how to take care of an infant yet.

  “Come here, honey!” Jenny called “Look! Nathan Jr. has got his first messy diaper.”

  Nathan closed his eyes and started to laugh, madly.

  He went to the changing table and saw what Jenny was pointing to. But, of course, it wasn’t a turd. A rotted piece had just broken off the mass and fallen into the diaper. Jenny smiled, using the wet wipes on it, smearing dried blood all over the place. She replaced the diaper and tossed the old one in the Diaper Genie.

  The doorbell rang.

  Nathan had to stall. But he heard the door open and his dad yell, “We’re here. Where’s my precious new darlings at?”

  “Did he say ‘darlings’?” Nathan said to himself. He knew right away that Jenny had called them without him knowing it.

  Jenny handed Nathan the shriveled body of his so-called son and walked with Daniel in to greet them. Nathan stayed behind, hearing a dog bark in the living room. Oh God, he thought, they even brought Spot along.

  His mind spiraled; his body shook. But then he began to smile for the first time since the birth.

  He laughed harder, glancing down at the oblong piece of placenta lodged in his arms. “Gootchie, gootchie goo,” he said, tickling it, then he doubled over, pain shooting through his stomach as he tried to muffle his laughter. He envisioned Daniel growing up alongside his placenta-brother. Playing baseball in the backyard. Nathan Jr. in the outfield as birds swooped from the trees, pecking off crusty chunks of his body. He thought about going to King’s Island where Nathan Jr. couldn’t ride the roller coasters since he was only a 1-foot tall piece of rotten flesh. He thought about the first day of kindergarten, the unlucky girl set up on Nathan Jr.’s first blind date and, of course, all the immunizations he’d have to go through in order to get into school.

  Visions struck at Nathan as he grabbed the pacifier from the dresser and shoved it into the half-rotten mass of a baby. The rubber nipple penetrated the shell as blood oozed across Nathan’s hand. A putrid stench wafted to his nose.

  He laughed harder and said, “This is fucked up, Junior!” He held the piece of placenta in the air, level with his face. “Daddy’s sorry, but he’s not going to live like this. Your mother’s a psychotic bitch and you’re just a fleshy piece of rotted innards. So fuck you both!”

  Spot barked in the living room again. And Nathan suddenly had an idea.

  He whistled, then heard Spot’s dog tags come rattling into the nursery.

  “Here boy! Got a little treat for you,” Nathan said as Spot sat in front of him.

  Nathan peeled the diaper off the afterbirth and dropped the crusty mass onto the floor.

  Spot circled it, not knowing what to think. He jumped at it, then barked. Finally he dove into the mass and shook it wildly until dried, crusty portions broke off and flew against the wall. As Spot bit deeper, he discovered a moist center. Strings of mucus-blood sprayed against the blue walls. The dog clutched the half-rotted clump of placenta and began chewing, ripping the center apart.

  Nathan just stood there and watched, laughing out loud as the
dog swallowed hard.

  Even when Jenny entered the nursery and released a bloodcurdling scream at the sight of Spot’s new chew toy, Nathan’s laughter only grew.

  * * *

  Nathan couldn’t stop laughing. And the scary thing was that it wasn’t the least bit funny. He knew his mind had taken a turn for the worse. But at least that was the end of the twins. No more masquerade that a second child existed.

  Jenny had somehow left the nursery and managed to convince Nathan’s parents that Nathan Jr. was ill and they would have to come another time. But, strangely, she kept Spot.

  Nathan curled under the bedcovers. He didn’t care if she killed Spot. It would be the least of his worries at this point. He was exhausted from laughing madly and from the stress of having to watch his girlfriend turn into some kind of lunatic. He rocked back and forth beneath the sheets, blocking out the rest of the world until sleep came.

  * * *

  Jenny woke him around midnight.

  “Nathan Jr. wants to sleep with you,” Jenny said.

  Nathan lay paralyzed with fear under the covers.

  He felt Jenny pulling on the sheets beside him. Before she departed, she said, “Now don’t roll over on him.”

  Nathan hoped it was all a nightmare. But when he surfaced from the covers and focused through the darkness, he could feel something beside him. And it wasn’t cold this time. It was actually warm.

  He felt through the darkness and his hands reached under the sheet beside him.

  His heart raced.

  And he finally felt the origin of warmth.

  His hands touched the warm surface that suddenly squished between his fingers.

  And suddenly, he smelled dog shit wafting through the bedroom.

  BITCHSLAPPED

  The problem with factory life is that there are so many people going nowhere and trapped in the same building all at once. Frustrations build as days are squandered and life dissolves into repetition. Human beings are transformed into numbers that lose precious hours of life to corporate motives and societal trappings.

  It’s no wonder that I hated Deborah in such an environment. Truthfully, I’d hate her in any environment, but factory life is the ultimate breeding ground for hatred. So being a Jesus Christ-lover-but-I’d-suck-your-dick-everyday-but-Sunday kind of bitch, she was just too annoying and childish and preachy for me to handle. She was a back-stabbing, corporate-ass-kissing, bastard child of the Almighty (dollar, that is, though, taking in the way this world is shaping up, the Lord would have to be an even bigger nutball-creator than he or she already is to fuck someone so worthless to give birth to a total waste of flesh such as Deborah).