“Oh, I get it,” he scoffs, “You guys share her. How can I get it on this action, huh?”
My mouth flies open at the same time my head snaps up. Did he really just say that about me, Ethan and Connor?
Gross. What a disgusting pig … again.
Ethan pulls his arm from around my shoulder and moves it in front of me wrapping it around my chest to push me behind him. Connor steps up next to him, where I had been.
“You want a repeat of Friday night Vinny? If memory serves me correctly, I knocked you out the last time you spoke to us, so I suggest you back off.”
Crap. I’ve never heard Connor speak with such contempt in his voice, and I can’t help but think this is all because of me.
“Listen man, we don’t want any trouble. Just back off. We’ll stay out of your way and we can all go about our business, ok?” Ethan says, always the voice of reason.
By now, we’ve drawn a crowd hoping to see the guys fight. Rumors of the fight between Connor and Vincent had already swarmed the school. I’d heard a few of the girls in second period talking about it. I ignored them, but it made me chuckle at how distorted things get in high school.
It’s like that game of telephone I used to play in grade school—the teacher would tell a word to the person on her right, and by the time it went all the way around the circle and got to the person on her left, it would be a completely different word. That’s how this was. I heard the girls say that Connor and Ethan beat up Justin and his cousin, and that they also put a hole in Ethan’s wall, and that’s when the police came … I mean it was just absurd.
“I’ll accept that after I even out the score with Ken doll here,” smirks Vincent pushing his finger into Connor’s chest.
The tension between Connor and Vincent is obvious and I am scared he will lose it again, but instead, Connor sighs, “You know what? We were both out of line on Friday. I shouldn’t have hit you and I’m sorry. I’d like to put it behind us and move forward like Ethan said. Let’s just steer clear and finish out the year, ok?”
I am proud of Connor for being the bigger man, and I take that opportunity to wedge myself between him and Ethan to look at Vincent. When I saw him in the hall earlier, I’d only glanced at him, but now that I am standing right in front of him, I notice how grotesque he looks with not one, but two black eyes and a split lip. Connor really went to town on him.
“Oh, well, look who decided to make an appearance.”
“Um, yeah …,” I stumble looking down before closing my eyes and gathering my strength to look back up at Vincent, “Yeah, I’m sorry about Friday too. I’m sorry you thought we lied to you. We didn’t mean anything by it and we really do want to put this behind us. Connor’s my best friend and he was just doing what he thought was right. I know he didn’t mean to hurt you and I know he’s sorry. We both are.”
“Oh my God, you’re not even banging her. No wonder your panties were in a bunch. She’s got you blue balled,” he says laughing and I notice that fleck of superiority in his eyes again.
By now the crowd watching has doubled. I am sure a teacher will be over any minute and I really don’t want to get in trouble. I’ve never been to the principal’s office and with only a few months until graduation, I want to keep it that way.
“Here’s the deal,” Vincent says, “Rematch between her and me at JJ’s on Friday night at eight. She wins—I’ll call it even. Got it?”
I suddenly feel all eyes on me. It takes a few minutes for me to process what Vincent has said. He wants a rematch of the pool game but between him and me—only. If I win, then he’ll leave us all alone. Is he really serious right now? What happens if I lose? I scan the faces of the people around us finally landing on my friends. Both Ethan and Connor look skeptical, but a touch of hopefulness crosses their faces. When I see Justin’s face, I see a sincere apology in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, I step forward and extend my right hand.
“Ahhh, brains and beauty, I see why you guys like her so much. Deal?” he says looking at me with a wicked grin on his face.
“Deal,” I somehow squeak out.
Connor steps up next to me, “If she wins, you leave all of us alone—you won’t even look in our direction, got it.”
“A deal’s a deal man, yeah, I got it,” He sneers. “But if I win, I want a hundred bucks.”
“Fine.” Connor spits out.
Finally Coach Reed shows up and breaks the circle but not before looking between the four of us. I tug on Connor’s arm as we all go to our table where Emma, Katie, and some of the other baseball players are sitting.
“What was that about?” asks Emma.
“Vincent wants a rematch of our pool game from your house, but just between him and me. Friday night at JJ’s at eight o’clock. He says he’ll leave us all alone if I win. So I agreed,” I tell her.
“Are you serious, Harp?”
“Yeah, unfortunately, I am.”
“I don’t know about this, I think it’s dangerous. I don’t like him and I don’t like the way he was looking at you, and harassing you Friday night,” she pauses before continuing. “I don’t know how Justin can stand to be near him; they are so different.”
“I agree, but I just want him to leave us alone, so I’m going and I’ll win.”
“What did Connor and Ethan say? What happens if you lose?”
“Not much. Connor just made sure that Vincent knew if I won that we were done and he wouldn’t cause any more trouble for us,” I tell her. “If he wins then I owe him a hundred dollars. After that Coach Reed broke us up and we came over here.”
“Well, I’m going with you Friday. I don’t want you there by yourself. The guys have a game in Smithville so they won’t be back until after seven,” she says.
Crap. I forgot about the away game Friday. I really don’t want to go there without them. Double Crap.
“It will be fine, Harp,” Emma says obviously seeing the panic on my face, “I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty and the guys can just meet us there.”
I don’t get to talk to Connor about the rematch during the rest of lunch. I am so anxious for school and baseball practice to be over so we can talk about what happened. Emma and I walk to fourth period and I somehow make it through fifth period, before ending my day with music theory and choir.
When the bell rings signaling the end of the day, I exit the choir doors and I head to practice my cello. A few hours later, a knock at the door to my practice room makes me jump in my seat.
“Jeez, Connor you scared the crap out of me,” I say opening the door.
“When you weren’t at the truck I figured you’d lost track of time, so I came to get you.”
“Thanks, and yeah, I guess I did lose track of time. I’m just not happy with this section and I can’t seem to get it to where I want it.”
“Harp, I’m sure it’s beyond good. Sometimes I think you’re too hard on yourself. No one is perfect, ya know?”
“Says the sports stud who spends countless hours conditioning. You know, I think that’s what they call the pot calling the kettle black.”
“Come on, kettle, let’s get you packed so I can get home—I’m starving.”
When we get in the truck I turn to him, “So, are we gonna talk about what happened with Vincent today, and why you and Ethan were so secretive this morning?”
I see his jaw clench and hand tighten on the steering wheel before he speaks.
“I don’t like that guy, Harp. There’s something off about him, more than just the fact that he’s an asshole.”
“I agree, he’s got a crazy look in his eyes—I can’t believe he and Justin are really related. Justin’s so nice.”
“That’s what Ethan and I were talking about this morning at my locker. Apparently, Vincent has been in and out of trouble his whole life. He even spent some time in juvie last year and his parents couldn’t take it anymore, so they moved him here. They thought maybe being around Justin would be a good influence or something.”
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I can actually see that about Vincent. It didn’t seem like he was a stranger to trouble.
“Emma’s taking me to JJ’s on Friday night since you’ll be at the away game.”
“I wish we didn’t have that game, but yeah, we’ll be there as soon as we can be.”
Sighing, he reaches for my hand giving it a slight squeeze. “Harp, please be careful on Friday. I know you’re going to win, but I care about you a lot and I don’t want to see anything happen to you.”
“I promise I’ll be careful. But get there as soon as you can. Text me when you guys leave school.”
“You got it.”
“Now,” he says seriously before looking at me, “are we gonna talk about how hot Ms. Anderson looked today?”
I roll my eyes at him shaking my head and laughing. I can always count on Connor to lighten the mood.
By the time Friday gets here I am a bundle of nerves and can barely hold it together.
Emma dropped me off at home after school promising to pick me up at seven-thirty. I am just getting out of the shower when I hear the front door slam shut. It’s only six-thirty—I thought for sure I could get out of here before she got home.
Guess I was wrong.
I wrap a towel around me and brush my hair before I reach for the bathroom door. When I open the door, I am met with dark brown eyes glaring at me furiously. Despite the anger, I can clearly see in her face—she is really beautiful, in an exotic way.
One time when she wasn’t home, I went through a box in her closet that held pictures of her from when she was my age and saw how gorgeous she was. What struck me most was how full of life she was in those pictures. She had a quiet confidence and a big, graceful smile that touched her eyes. I always wondered where that girl had gone? But when you have a kid at eighteen, I guess life is pretty tough.
I take a deep breath and look into her eyes.
“You little brat!” she yells taking a step into the bathroom.
“What did … ”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out about this?” she yells holding up an envelope and waving it in front of my face. She is moving it too fast for me to be able to see what it is.
I am slowly backing away from her now and can’t help but feel trapped knowing I am only headed straight for the bathtub.
“You think you’re better than me, Huh?” She says calmly with a touch of crazy in her eyes as she continues moving toward me in the bathroom. “Answer me!”
“N—no,” I stutter while using my right hand to brace myself against the wall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about your little dreams of going to college. God, you can be so dense. I don’t know how you even got in. They must feel sorry for you or need to fill a quota for charity cases.”
I scrunch my eyebrows together now figuring it all out. I never told her when I applied to colleges, or when I got my acceptance to Oberlin. I didn’t know when I was going to tell her, but I thought the longer I waited the better. I didn’t know how she would react—I guess now I knew.
“Oh don’t play dumb with me,” she says smirking. “If you think for one second you are leaving me here to go off to college and live your life playing that stupid cello, you are wrong … so wrong.”
I feel heat fill me from my toes, up my legs spreading to my torso through my arms and finally to my chest and face. I’ve put up with a lot from her over the years, but this, she is not taking this from me too.
“You can’t make me stay here. I’ll be eighteen soon and after graduation I can do whatever I want! I’m leaving in August and there’s nothing you can do about it.” I have never talked back to her before. I know there will be consequences, but I also know I will never let her take this from me—she’s already taken too much.
“You are wrong,” her tone is almost maniacal. “You aren’t going anywhere. You are not better than me.” And with that she shoves me, hard. My damp foot slips against the tile on the floor. As I start to fall back, I feel the side of the bathtub knock my knees forward helping me land in the tub hard, but not before my head is thrown back into the cold, hard tile of the shower wall. I am stunned and look at her in disbelief. She is standing in front of me with a smirk on her doll-like face.
“Like I said, you aren’t going anywhere. You ruined my life so don’t think for a second that you can leave me to live a better life. You are not better than me.” And with that, she turns and leaves.
I sit there for a few minutes just now registering the pain from the fall and take inventory of my injuries. My butt and lower back are throbbing, but until I can get up I can’t be sure how bad the fall has been. My head is aching where it hit the tile. I take my hand to feel where the pain is coming from and sure enough, it is so tender—I groan—but when I look at my hand I don’t see any blood. I take a deep breath and swing my legs into the bathtub before using my hands and feet to push myself up.
As I do, my vision blurs and I become wobbly. I brace myself against the tiled shower wall until the dizziness passes. Taking another deep breath, I step out of the tub finally feeling the full effect of the pain in my back radiating down my legs. Winning tonight will not be as simple as I thought, since I can’t move with ease. I suck in a large breath and slowly walk to the medicine cabinet where I swallow Advil.
Once I get back to my room, I text Emma to see if she can come get me now so we can go to her house to finish getting ready. I hate that Connor isn’t around to help me deal with this. I’ve never told anyone else about what happens between my mom and me so I’m nervous about what I’m going to tell her when she gets here, especially since this is such a sudden change in our plans.
Thankfully, she doesn’t hesitate and agrees to pick me up. I get my clothes for tonight along with pajamas and another change of clothes for tomorrow so I can stay the night at Connor’s. I don’t want to come back here. Lucky for me, I guess, there is no outward sign of my mom’s attack so I should be off the hook with having to tell Connor or Catherine about what happened, or them finding out by seeing the evidence.
After throwing everything together in a duffel bag, I hear Emma honk and I make a beeline for the front door. Just as I’m turning the knob on the door, my mom grabs my arm and yanks me to a stop.
“Remember what I told you. I will make your life a living hell if you think you can really get away with this.”
Facing her, I see all the years of anger and pain lining her face. My heart aches for that happy girl in the pictures I found. Even with the pain in my head and back, nothing hurts as much as her words—they sting and bruise my heart leaving permanent damage and I can’t do it anymore.
“I don’t know why you hate me so much, mother, but I cannot wait to get away from you. You are the pathetic one, not me. Do you think my life has been easy, Huh? Well, it hasn’t, but you don’t see me sitting around wallowing in self-pity or drinking my sorrows away like you. Instead I chose to make a life for myself. A life that will get me away from you, a life that will make me happy.”
Her face registers the shock from my words but I don’t stay long enough to hear her response and instead turn to run out the front door into Emma’s car.
“Everything …”
“Go—please go. Quick,” I cut Emma off.
“Hey, Harp, what happened? Did you get in a fight with your mom?”
I’m staring out the window not paying attention until Emma’s question finally pulls me from my thoughts. I look around realizing we are in her driveway. I wonder how long we’ve been sitting here. I look at Emma. Concern clearly etched on her face. I shake my head, take a deep breath and wipe away the tears that had unknowingly slid down my face.
“Sorry, Emma, but I’m ok. Just a stupid fight with my mom—it was nothing. I don’t know why I’m so upset. Can we just forget about it and go inside and get ready? I want to get this night over with.”
“Of course. Listen, I know you’re usually pretty reserved, and
Connor’s your best friend, but I’m your friend too and if you need anything you can always talk to me.”
“Thanks, Emma, you really are great,” I say sincerely.
We get ready in Emma’s bedroom, and after she begs and begs to let her do my makeup, I concede. I see her pull out a huge case of makeup and I begin to panic, but once she’s done, I look at myself in the mirror and see how the eye shadow and liner along with the mascara, really make my eyes stand out and create a striking difference between my other features. I smile and give her a hug.
I had planned on wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but Emma wouldn’t have it. Now I’m wearing a white tank top with my skinny jeans. She also gave me her black leather jacket and her tall black boots.
“Emma, this is too much,” I say skeptically. “I look older and I kinda look like a badass … I don’t know about this.”
“Exactly,” she says clapping her hands while jumping up and down, “I know you are going to win tonight. You showing up looking like this, it will really make him think you mean business. Plus, you look hot!”
“Hot, huh?” I look at myself in her full-length mirror again. I have to admit, she is right. I am definitely playing the part tonight and look good doing it.
On our way to JJ’s, I get a text from Connor.
Connor: On the bus. Be there soon. U ok?
Me: Freaking out. We r pulling in now.
Connor: Just stay calm + stay close to Emma. Be there as soon as I can.
Me: Did u win 2night?
Connor: Yes!
Me: ☺
Hearing from Connor makes me feel better, but that quickly dissipates when Emma pulls into a parking spot. JJ’s is the staple dive bar in town. It’s been around for ages and only the hard-core go there for drinks. It’s got the most pool tables in town and has become known as a hangout for underage kids since the bartenders look the other way—just happy to make more money, I guess.
Harp's Song Page 5