Harp's Song

by Shine, Cassie

  “Ok,” he says kissing me again. He tugs my bottom lip. I can feel heat in this kiss from my toes all the way to my head, I’m tingling all over and I don’t want to stop. We kiss and pull each other closer, my arm wrapping around his neck while my hand fists in his hair. His hand skims over my shoulder leaving a trail of goose bumps before moving down my back and pulling me into him. We lay there pressed into each other and kiss until I pull away to get some air.

  “Wow,” I say trying to recover.

  “I know,” Connor says with a huge grin across his face.

  We lay there for a few minutes just taking each other in and catching our breath.

  “I don’t think your mom is going to let us sleep together anymore when she finds out.”

  “Crap, you’re probably right. Guess that means we have to make the most of it tonight,” he wiggles his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

  “Let’s not get carried away,” I lightly smack his solid arm.

  “Ok, ok … you’re right. Let’s get some sleep.”

  Once my back is completely pressed into his chest I sigh fully content.

  “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he says breaking our silence.

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  “I was scared you didn’t feel the same way. I know how closed off you are and that makes you oblivious to things sometimes, so I knew you only thought of me as a friend. But seeing you dressed like that and hearing you go off on Vincent … I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself tonight.”

  “So you weren’t really mad at me for being dressed like that?

  “No, I wasn’t mad, I was totally turned on. You are always so in control. You keep your emotions to yourself, and I don’t know, I guess seeing you stand up for yourself was hot.”

  “Hmmm, I’ll have to remember that,” I say turning over to face him, I press my hand to his cheek and kiss him. Our kisses become more urgent and my hands are roaming over his shoulders and back.

  “As much as I would love to keep doing that tonight, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Let’s get some sleep.”

  I nod my head reluctantly because I know he’s right. Yawning, I turn over again, his arm wraps around my waist, holding me firmly to him.

  “Hmmm … that feels nice,” I wake up to the feel of small kisses all over my face.

  “Finally, you’re awake. I’ve been kissing you forever … not that I’m complaining,” he smirks before showering me with more kisses.

  I put my hands on either side of his face and roll onto my back so he’s hovering above me.

  “Morning,” I say pulling his face to mine, but right before our lips meet, I remember, “Oh my God, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet … you can’t kiss me! Gross.”

  Connor laughs, “Harp, I don’t care. You’re perfect to me.”

  “No way, I need to brush my teeth first. Move, so I can go to the bathroom.”

  I squirm underneath him, but can’t move and he’s laughing at me. He’s just too damn strong. This is so unfair.

  “Connor, I’m serious. MOVE.”

  “No, Harp. I will not move. When I told you last night how I felt about you, I meant it. That means I’m crazy about all of you. I love feisty Harp, cello Harp, singing Harp, casual Harp, fun Harp, serious Harp, smart aleck Harp, quiet Harp, sad Harp, and most of all, bed-head Harp … specially after you’ve spent the night in my arms.”

  How am I supposed to compete with that? I feel like my insides have melted with this proclamation. So, I do the only thing I can, and pull his face down to mine and kiss him. He groans and uses his left arm to hold himself over me. His right hand skims down my torso to my hip where he presses circles into my stomach, making me shiver.

  We finally pull away breathing heavy, “I could get used to that kind of wake up call.”

  “Me too,” he laughs and rolls off me.

  We lay there for a few minutes holding hands, catching our breaths.

  “What do we do about your mom?” I finally ask breaking our silence.

  “I think we should figure out what we’re doing first and then tell her.”

  “Ok, what are we doing? You called me your girlfriend last night. Is that what this is? A relationship?”

  He turns on his side facing me and raises his head on his hand. I flip and do the same so I can look at him.

  “That’s what I want. But, I sprang this on you last night, if you need time to think about it, then I understand. I won’t pressure you … well, unless you take a long-ass time.”

  I think about last night and his kisses this morning. It is somewhat sudden for me. I’m not good at being vulnerable. As close as I am with him now, there is still a lot I keep to myself. Plus, Connor is my best friend and I don’t want to lose that if this doesn’t work between us.

  “Harp, I know you’ve got hang ups because your life hasn’t been easy. And, I know that’s created this protective armor you wear around yourself, but you are amazing and I can’t imagine my life without you,” he says while tracing circles with his fingers on my arm. “Seeing you handle all the stuff your mom has done to you, and seeing how strong and positive you’ve stayed through it all is what’s made me fall for you. The amount of shit you’ve handled would have made most people crumble, but not you, you are still beautiful inside and out, and strong.”

  “The more I think about it, the more comfortable and excited I become at the thought of us,” I tell him and he smiles at me. “I brought all my stuff for the weekend. I don’t want to go back to my house until I have to.”

  “Speaking of, how do you feel? Does your head still hurt?”

  “No, not like it did last night. Still have a little headache, but I think I know what will make it feel better … ”

  “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

  “I’m not sure, but I think if my boyfriend were to kiss me right here the pain will go away,” I tease pointing to the spot on my head.

  “Hmmm, I think I can handle that,” he says smiling and leans up to place a kiss on the tender spot on my head. “Feel better now?”

  “Funny, I feel a little bit better, but not completely. Maybe if you kiss me here too?” I say this time pointing to my lips.

  “Well, that’s a tough job but I guess I’ll try.”

  He kisses me tenderly and my body goes weak. I think I can get used to this.

  “You are the best patient ever if that’s all I have to do to make you feel better.”

  “And you’re the best doctor ever, but if you become a real doctor, please don’t go kissing your patients,” I pout at him.

  “If you don’t stop pouting, I’m going to have to kiss you again and I know my mom is up and will be in here soon.” He says flipping the covers up and getting out of bed.

  “Ok, ok, I’m up. I need to take a shower.

  “Ok, but only if you promise to think about me in the shower.”

  “Oh my God—Connor!” I exclaim blushing and burying my head in my hands.

  “This is gonna be fun, I love making you blush,” he smirks and winks at me before leaving his room to go to the bathroom down the hall.

  I rush through my shower eager to see Connor again. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I love the way he makes me feel, and I want more.

  When I get out of the bathroom, Connor is dressed, sitting on his bed doing something on his phone.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey,” he says looking up from his phone. “I don’t know about you, but that felt like the longest shower in history.”

  I laugh at him, “Yeah, I know what you mean. So, should we face your mom?” He gets off the bed and walks over to me grabbing my hand in his. He looks down and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, “Yep, let’s go girlfriend.”

  I really like it when he calls me that.

  We go to the kitchen hand in hand. I’m hoping Catherine will notice our hand holding because I feel kind of awkward saying “So … I’m dating your
son, and oh by the way, we slept in his bed together last night.”

  When we finally get there, Catherine is in the kitchen as expected, but she’s leaning over the island talking to Patrick. I look at Connor, anxiety clearly etched on my face, but he laughs at me shaking his head.

  “Hey Mom, we’re starving. What’s for breakfast?”

  “Oh good, you’re up. I thought I heard the showers going … I made pancakes, I’ll heat them up for you. Do you guys want any …”

  “Ewwwww gross!” Patrick yells, “Connor’s kissing Harp.”

  Leave it to Patrick to spew our new coupledom to his mom. Although, I’m pretty sure Connor did that on purpose.

  I see Catherine out of the corner of my eye while Connor is still kissing me, “Well, it’s about time,” she says. She rushes over to us and pulls me into a hug.

  “Wait, what, you’re happy about this?” I say with confusion stretching across my face as I look between Catherine and Connor to see him laughing.

  “Of course. You’re part of this family and I couldn’t think of anyone better for my son. I know he cares about you a lot and so do I.”

  I want to ask more questions but Patrick steals our thunder when he burps so loud that we all just burst into laughter.

  “Well, then, lets get your pancakes ready. You guys want anything else?”

  “No mom, that’s fine, thanks.”

  “In light of this very exciting news, we do need to talk about your sleeping arrangements moving forward.”

  Oh my God. I’m so embarrassed right now, I know I’m blushing and I can’t make eye contact with anyone.

  “Connor and Harp sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…” Patrick starts singing. Could this be any more embarrassing?

  “Ow! What did ya do that for?” Patrick cries out and rubs his hand on the back of his head.

  “Because you are being annoying and you’re making Harp uncomfortable. Apologize and leave us alone.”

  “You’re so crabby. I figured you’d be in a good mood since she stayed over last night … you know, wink wink.”

  “Patrick! I am going to kill you if you don’t get out of here right now and leave us alone!” Connor threatens.

  I can’t believe Patrick teased us about sleeping together last night in front of Catherine. I look up and see a smile stretched across her face as she’s preparing our breakfast.

  “Ok, ok … I’m going,” Patrick relents, “I’ll just leave you two lovebirds.”

  “Patrick,” Catherine says, “you’d better start running!”

  She’s right because Connor has jumped out of his chair and is glaring down at Patrick. Patrick takes one look at him and runs straight for his room.

  “Did you see his face? That was priceless.” Connor breaks out in hysterics.

  I look over to Catherine, surely, she will reprimand Connor for threatening physical harm to his brother, but no, she’s laughing just as hard. I look between the two of them like they are crazy people until their laughing becomes so contagious I can’t help but join in. It feels like minutes before we’ve all contained our giggles and start eating our pancakes. Catherine is watching us with a mug of coffee in her hand.

  “So, when did you two become official?”

  “Um, this morning, I guess,” I answer.

  “Ok, well … we are going to need to lay down some ground rules. Harp, you are still welcome here anytime, you know that right?”

  I nod in acknowledgement and brace myself for the “But” that I know is coming.

  “However, you are not allowed to spend the night in Connor’s room anymore. You can stay in the guest room instead. I’ll allow you to be in his room, but only with the door open. And, expect me to check in on you both.”

  Connor groans, “Mom, come on. You can’t be serious?”

  “I am most certainly serious right now. And, if I find you two breaking the rules, there will be severe punishment. You understand me?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” We both say at the same time.

  “Good, now that we’ve got that covered, you can hang out in the basement like you always do. Also, I’m not dumb enough to think you guys might not have sex …”

  “MOM!”

  I am mortified right now. I seriously can’t believe Catherine is talking about sex with us … in her kitchen. Thank God Patrick isn’t here to hear this. I want to curl up and die.

  “Ok, fine, I’ll let it go for now, but when you two get more serious, I will bring it up again to both of you. If you don’t want to wait for that embarrassing moment, then I urge you to come talk to me individually. The last thing I want is for you to derail your futures because Harp gets pregnant. You understand?”

  “Yes, Mom, we’ve got it. I’m taking Harp out today.”

  “Sure, go have fun. I’m really happy about this.” She smiles looking between the both of us.

  “Thanks Catherine, um … I’ll see you later.”

  Connor tugs my hand and grabs his keys as we make our way to his truck. I have no idea where we are going and I don’t care. I’m just happy to be out of that kitchen.

  “I’m so sorry about my mom, I had no idea she was going to do that this morning.”

  “It’s ok. You know, she only did it because she cares about us.” I remind him.

  “I know you’re right. But still, that was really awkward. I know you were uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

  “Honestly, Connor, I don’t have anyone to care about me like she does, so it’s fine. Actually, it was kind of nice to know your mom cares that much. It’s really ok.”

  “I care about you too, you know that right? Always have and always will.”

  I smile at him and take in the soft expression on his face before leaning into him and kissing him.

  “We’d better get going, or my mom’s going to come out here and tell us we can’t be in my truck together anymore.” he says breaking apart from me.

  “Ok,” I chuckle. “Where are we going?”

  “Honestly, I don’t have a plan. I just couldn’t sit in there anymore and I really, really wanted to kiss you again.”

  “You’re ridiculous,” I say exasperated. “How about we go see a movie? We’ll just see whatever is playing next.”

  “Dark movie theater … with you … hell yeah, let’s go.”

  I shake my head at him, “Just drive.”

  Since Connor and I became an official couple, things in my life have definitely changed. We spend our days at school, keeping to our regular routine. But now when we’re at his house, I spend more time kissing him than I do studying. At least when his mom isn’t checking up on us. I like this change in our dynamic. It’s made me really happy and on top of that, my mom has been completely M.I.A.

  I literally haven’t seen my mom since the night of our last fight. I know she’s around because I hear her late at night when she comes home. Every night she goes straight to her room and in the mornings, she’s gone before I leave for school. I don’t mind in the least. As much as I’m enjoying myself, in the back of my head I always tell myself all good things must come to an end, mainly as a reminder to not drop my guard completely. That’s when bad things happen, and right now I only have a little while longer until graduation.

  I’m still getting used to the attention I’m receiving from the kids at school. The status change from Connor’s friend to Connor’s girlfriend makes me popular by default. Before, I could go practically unnoticed, and now I kind of wish I had some of that anonymity back—like now.

  I’m in the girl’s bathroom when the door opens and I hear the telltale clicking of high heels. I don’t know how they wear those things all day.

  “I heard that the only reason he’s dating her is because she puts out,” I hear a girl say.

  “Yeah, I heard that she screwed Vincent, you know, Justin’s cousin at Ethan Sommers’ house a month ago,” girl number two says.

  “I heard that too.” Says another voice. “But I also heard that Connor’s just
using her to get back at Taylor for dumping him. After Connor and Taylor had sex she dumped him to be with Austin. Apparently she had wanted to date Austin since forever, but he wouldn’t give her the time of day until he found out she wasn’t a virgin anymore.”

  I can’t believe what I am hearing—who are these girls? More importantly, I can’t believe Connor had sex with Taylor. They dated for three months at the beginning of the school year, but he never told me they’d had sex. I don’t know what to think of that.

  On one hand, I’m disgusted because I don’t really like Taylor. She’s a cheerleader, popular, pretty and vapid. On the other hand, I’m hurt. I am his best friend. Maybe he didn’t want to tell me because I’m a girl. I don’t know, but it definitely stings to hear about it from gossipy girls in the bathroom.

  Once they leave, I wash my hands and leave to go meet Connor for lunch.

  “Hey! There you are, what took you so long?” Connor greets me with a quick kiss and pulling me into his side.

  “Nothing,” I reply walking through the cafeteria doors.

  “Ok, well, Friday night there’s a party at Josh’s. I know the last party we went to didn’t go well, but this one should be fun especially since Vincent won’t be there. Do you want to go?”

  “Sure, um, yeah, that sounds good,” I agree sitting down next to Emma at our lunch table.

  “Hey, did Connor tell you about the party Friday night at Josh’s?” she asks.

  “Yeah, are you going?”

  “Definitely … ooooh, why don’t you come to my house with me after school on Friday and we can get ready together?” she says excitedly.

  Despite having more people buzzing around me, I’ve retreated more to the solace of my music and spend more time alone with Connor. I smile weakly at Emma, but she notices my hesitation.

  “Come on Harp, it will be fun! Look at what happened last time we got ready together,” she winks tilting her head toward Connor.

  “Ok, ok. You win.”

  “Yippee!!!”

  Connor is watching our little exchange, so when I roll my eyes he winks at me.

  “You ready for Coach Reed tonight?” Ethan asks Connor.