noncommunicative,alcoholicfamily,shedidnothaveajoyfulchildhood.Evenafter
she married and gave birth to a daughter, the South did not feel like home to her.
Upon moving to San Francisco in 1972, Gangaji immersed herself in a search for spirit.Followingadivorceandaperiodofpoliticalactivism,shetookBuddhistvows,
practiced Zen and Vipassana meditation, and helped run a Tibetan Buddhist center.
For five years Gangaji, an acupuncturist, and her partner (later to become her husband) Eli, a neurolinguistic programmer, ran a clinic in San Francisco and lived wellinMarinCounty.Materialsuccessandanenormousmortgagebecameaburden
ratherthanablessing.Onedaytheytookanhonestlookattheirlivesandwondered
whathadhappenedtothem.Insearchofasimplerlifestyle,theysoldtheirhomeand
movedtoHawaii.
Gangajicontinuedtoexperienceapersistentlongingfortruthandfulfillmentand
prayedthatshemightfindherteacher.Thisprayerwasansweredin1990whenshe
met Poonjaji (affectionately known as Papaji), a disciple of Ramana Marharshi, in India.UponmeetingPoonjaji,Gangajiexperiencedaprofoundreleaseandasenseof
havingfoundthatwhichshewasseeking.Simplyanddirectly,Poonjajipointedout,
“You are freedom. You are truth.” This realization penetrated Gangaji to the very core,andherlifewasneverthesame.
FollowingintheAdvaita(nondualistic)lineage,Gangajidirectsherstudentstoask
againandagainandagain,“WhoAmI?”Tobequiet,still,andfullypresent.Tobe
100percentwillingtosurrenderthesenseofpersonalidentification,acquisition,and
doership. To cease searching and stop trying. The very secret of going deeper, explainsGangaji,isnottogoanywhere.Forthereisnothingtoaccomplishorattain.
Allthatisaskedofusistobe,andthatisnosecret.
Gangajiremindsusthatweareimmensely“lucky”toreceivethegiftofRamana's
and Papaji's realization. And even more so to receive the invitation or grace to discoverthetruthofwhatwereallyarethroughdirectexperience.Sheenjoinsusto
give up our personal stories, which inevitably bring with them endless attachments andthepainandsufferingofseparation.Inordertoplungeintothelimitlessdepthsof ourownhearts,wemustfaceourdeepestfearsandallowtheworldasweknowitto
disappear.
ThesimplicityanddirectnessofthetruththatGangajisharesappealstothousands
of people from diverse backgrounds, professions, and nationalities. She offers
satsangs(tobeinthecompanyoftruth)andretreatsworldwidetoinspirealltohonor
andlivethetruthwillingly,openly,andjoyfully.
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ThefollowingwordsofGangajiweresharedspeciallyforreadersofthisbook.
193
WHOAREYOU?YOUARETHAT!
THEREISnoformulafordiscoveringthetruthofwhoyouare.WhenIfirstwasonthe
pathofseekingtruth,IwasquitecertainthatIcouldmakethisdiscoveryonmyown.
Besides,Ihadseenthehorrorsoftheguruscene,andIthoughtthatIwascertainly
abovethat.
Finally,IrecognizedthatIcouldnot;thatmymentalprocesscontinuedtospinin
circles, always just missing the revelation of truth. There had been experiences of oneness,experiencesofbliss,butIalwaysjustmissedtheeternalgroundoftruth.
By the standards of our culture, I was successful in life, but I remained
disillusioned.Disillusionedwithmyselfanddisillusionedwiththeconstant,everyday
attentionIhadonfixingmyself.Ihadcometorealizethattherewasacertaincycleto my self-involvement. On one end of the cycle was a sense of satisfaction of the rightnessofthings,abeliefthatallisexactlyasitshouldbe.Inoppositiontothat,on the other end of the cycle, were feelings of impending doom, the experience of misery,andabeliefinthehopelessnessoftheplightoftheentireuniverse.Isought
out, actually craved, the experience of oneness, and with my arsenal of techniques andstrategiesworkedtoavoidthepossibilityofdespair.
Afteracyclegoesaroundformanymillionsoftimes,itbeginstogetveryfamiliar.
The thoughts, the images, and the conclusions that would appear had appeared
before.Theyweren'tcreativeorfresh.StillIknowwhattodo.IhadtriedeverythingI knewtounravelthispsychologicalknotofsuffering.Itriedpleasure,andItriedpain.
I tried a husband. I tried a child. I tried lovers. I tried certain mind-expanding substances. I tried meditation. I tried getting shakti [spiritual energy transmission]
from certain teachers. I tried retreats. I tried empowerments. And there were tastes, glimpses, and moments of peace. But every path I traveled led once again to the arisingofsuffering.WhatevertasteIexperiencedwassomehowinadvertentlypushed
aside in the attempt to keep hold of a psychological me. Finally I realized that I neededateacher.Ineededhelp.
SoIprayedforatrueteacher,arealteacher,afinalteacher,havingnoideaofwhat
atrueteachermeant,whatatrueteachingwas,orwhattheresultwouldbe.Isimply
knewthatIwantedtobefreeofthestruggle.Iwantedtorecognizethetruth.AndI
knowhowtodothat.Idoit.Igaveup.
Within a very short time, within just six months of praying for a true teacher, I found myself in India at the feet of my teacher, H.W. L. Poonja (Papaji). I was greeted in an extraordinary way. He welcomed me with the most open invitation tocomeinandtakewhateverhecouldgiveme.Hedidnotcheckmycredentials.He
did not check my karma. He did not tally up any merits. He simply asked me if I wantedfreedom.WhenhesawthatIdid,heinvitedmetocomeinandreceive.
The moment I looked into Papaji's eyes, I recognized the whole cosmos existed there. There was a force and clarity that literally and metaphorically stopped me in my tracks. He took me by the shoulders, and he gently shook me and said, “Don't missthischance.Whoknowswhenitwillcomeagain.”
Through mysterious grace I recognized that whatever the results, truth could be found here with him. His warmth and love melted any emotional resistance. His 194
humorandmentalsharpnessopenedthegatesofmymentaldefenses.Remarkably,I was able to give all attention to him, to what he was showing me in his being and whathewasinvitingmetoinvestigatewithmyfullbeing.
WhenIquestionedhimregardinghowtoattaineternaltruth,Papajireplied,“Lay
asideeverytechnique,everytool,everyconcept.Justbestill,justbequiet,andsee.”
After a moment of fearing what would be lost (all the ground I had gained!) if I weretotrulygiveupallstrategiesandtechniques,Istopped.Andinthatstopping,I
was simply able to hear what he had to say. What he said, and how he said it, and how he invited me to investigate for myself what he was pointing to, was exactly whatIhadbeenprayingfor.
I knew he was speaking the truth. In meeting with him I saw that there was somethinghuge,somethingmorevastandmoremysteriousthanthecapacityofany
thoughtprocesstoown,toconquer,ortoprocess.
To be able to hear it sounds like a simple thing. But with the complexity of our personalities,andourideasandbeliefs,thereisusuallymuchcomplicationcovering
simplehear
ing.Ifoneispreoccupiedwithpasttechniquesanddefinitionsandpaths
anddefeatsandvictories,oneistoobusytoreallyhearthetruth.Thetruthsosimple, itisusuallyoverlooked.
FinallyIrealizedthatwhateverIthought,itwasalwaysjustathought,subjectto
disappearance, and therefore, impossible to be eternal. To discover eternal truth, I couldnolongerrelyonthought.Thoughtwasnolongerthemaster.Thepreviousfear
of not knowing was transformed to the joy of not knowing. To not know was the openingofmymindtowhatcannotbeknownbymind!Whatrelief,whatprofound
release.
When you don't know who you are, there is an opening; there is a crack in the structureofthemind.Inthatmomentthemindisn'tfilledwiththelatestdefinitionof identity, or the battle between the latest and the habitual definition. In that moment there is silence. There is no generation of definition and no agreement or
disagreementwiththatdefinition.Thereisjustsilence.
AndPapajisaid,“That,rightthere.That'swhoyouare.”
Whatfollowedcannottrulybeputintoconstraintsoftime.Althoughtimedidpass,
timepassedthrough(continuestopassthrough)whatisrevealedtobeeternal.
Past,present,andfuture,allphenomenaofmind,exquisite,mysteriousanddeeply
entertaining,butnotreal.
Realityindefinable,unprocessable,unholdable,yetundeniablyhere.Eternityhere.
Regardlessofthought,regardlessofevent,regardlessofexperience(evenregardless
ofexperienceofappearanceof‘me’ordisappearanceof“me”).
Unspeakable moment that neither began when I think it did, nor ends. Now
happening,whilereallynothappeningatall.
Impossible to understand because it is always closer than understanding. Alive with the energy that gives rise to the entire cosmos as well as every speck of dust; everycathedralaswellaseverymundanethought.
All.
Allishere.HereiseternalGod,eternalTruth.HereIam.All.
195
After some passage of time, with the challenges of released latent tendencies, he sawthatIhadrecognizedtheboundlessindefinabilityoftrueSelf.Hethenaskedme
to go “door to door” and speak with others of my experience. At the time I said to him,“Itrulydon'tknowhowtodothat.”
Andhesaid,“Good.Speakfromyourexperienceonly.”
“ButPapaji,”Isaid,“Idon'tknowhow.Idon'tknowifitispossible.”
He directed me again to trust not knowing. In this trust, knowing is present and alive.Theappearanceofmindisthenthevehicleratherthanthedirector.Hedirected
me to invite you to recognize yourself without knowing yourself, to see yourself withoutanyimageofyourself,tobeyourselfwithoutanydefinitionofyourself.
So I appear to knock on your door in the dream of “you and me” and I have somethingverywonderfultotellyou.Youarefreetohearandyouarefreetoturn
away. Your response is not my business. I welcome you to the possibility of really hearing. In true hearing all secrets are transmitted, and the truth of hearing is that whatisheardalreadyexistswithinyourownheart.Theheartofconsciousnessishere
now.Itknowsnoothertime.TheheartofconsciousnessrecognizesItself,finally,in
all,asall.You.
Consciousnessisfree.Youarefreedomitself.Youhaveonlyimaginedyourselfto
be separate from consciousness, imagined yourself limited to a body you imagine yourselftobe.Consciousnessisfreealready.Youhavealwaysbeenfree.Whenthis
isrealized,theremaybegreatlaughter,andtheremaybemanytears,theremaybe
shouts, and there may be dancing. The recognition of who you truly are, of your naturalstate,isbeginningtheadventureofwhatisbeforebeginning.Itistheending
of the preoccupation with the cycle of self-involvement, and the beginning of true self-discovery,whichknowsnolimits,knowsnoother.
When Papaji died, an interviewer asked me what Papaji has meant to my life. I answered,“BeforePapajiIdidn'thavealife.Ihadastoryofsuffering.Therewere
moments of pleasure, even moments of bliss, but still a story of suffering. In the meetingofPapaji,thatstorywasdiscarded.WhenImethim,IsawIonlyhavelife.I
amonlyLife.”
FromtheunpublishedwordsofGangaji.
196
ECKHARTTOLLE
197
TWENTY-NINE
ECKHARTTOLLE
1948–PRESENT,GERMANY
ONCEYOUhavemet Eckhart,yourealize theparadoxof discussinghisbackground
and personal particulars. For Eckhart is quite understated, and, of any teacher you willfind,oneoftheleastattachedtopersona.BorninGermany,evenasachildhe
experienced intense despair and contemplated ending his life. Eckhart discontinued his formal studies at age thirteen upon moving to Spain. After graduation from the University of London, he became a research scholar and supervisor at Cambridge University,howeverhisacademicsuccesswasdrivenbyfear.Overcomebyasense
ofpurposelessandonthevergeofsuicide,Eckhartsawnoreasonforhisexistence.
Hissubsequentprofoundspiritualtransformationradicallychangedthecourseofhis
lifeandthelivesofmanyothers.
DuringthefewyearsfollowingEckhart'stransformation,hededicatedhimselfto
integrating and deepening his understanding. Aligned with no particular religion or tradition, Eckhart's message is uncomplicated: The path from suffering to peace is readilyavailable.
ThePowerofNow,writtenbyEckhartin1997,wassopracticalyetprofoundthat itattractedtheattentionofseekersworldwide,includingOprahWinfrey.Residingin
Vancouver, Canada, since 1996, Eckhart conveyed his message to small groups of spiritual seekers in North America and Europe. He now teaches and travels
extensively throughout the world, and his seminars are filled within days of their announcement.Thatsuchanunassumingteacher,inthisageofmediaglitzandhype,
canspreadtosomanyamessagesosimpleanduniversalisaninspiration.
Eckhart confines his attention and awareness to the present moment, aspiring to nothing more than residing in it alone. He cautions us not to take the mind too seriously—todwellneitherinpastorfuture.
To sit with Eckhart is to immerse oneself in a profound atmosphere of timeless Presence.WhenaroundEckhart'sdelightfulhumorandgestures,onecannothelpbut
laughattheabsurdityofthemindformswecallreality.Ahighlightoftheconclusion
ofEckhart'sretreatsarehishugs,duringwhichtimeonecangazeintothedeepocean
ofstillnessandvastnessreflectedinhisclear,blueeyes.
As he has done himself, Eckhart encourages us to dissolve emotional suffering, which he terms “the pain body,” to let go of our concepts of “psychological time,”
andtoresideinthepresent,whichisallthatexistsanyway.Freeingourselvesfrom
ourmentalconstructs,egoidentification,andtime-boundrealityopensusto“thejoy
ofbeing.”Beyondthedramasofourlives,theillusionofhappinessandunhappiness,
andouraddictiontosufferingliestherealizationforwhichsomanyofusyearn.Itis through surrendering to the present and relinquishing our burdens of fear, conflict, 198
and pain that we become fre
e. A phrase we heard at one of Eckhart's seminars remainsindelibleinourminds:“Therewillneverbeamomentmoreperfectthanthis
one.”Suchisthepowerofnow.
EckhartTolle'sselectioncomesfromtheintroductiontohisbestsellingbook, The
PowerofNow.
199
THEPOWEROFNOW
IHAVElittleuseforthepastandrarelythinkaboutit;however,Iwouldbrieflyliketo tellyouhowIcametobeaspiritualteacherandhowthisbook( ThePowerofNow) cameintoexistence.
Untilmythirtiethyear,Ilivedinastateofalmostcontinuousanxietyinterspersed
with periods of suicidal depression. It feels now as if I am talking about some past lifetimeorsomebodyelse'slife.
One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train—everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it createdinmeadeeploathingoftheworld.Themostloathsomethingofall,however,
wasmyownexistence.Whatwasthepointincontinuingtolivewiththisburdenof
misery?Whycarryonwiththiscontinuousstruggle?Icouldfeelthatadeeplonging
for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the
instinctivedesiretocontinuetolive.
“I cannot live with myself any longer.” This was the thought that kept repeating itselfinmymind.ThensuddenlyIbecameawareofwhatapeculiarthoughtitwas.
“AmIoneortwo?IfIcannotlivewithmyself,theremustbetwoofme:the‘I’and
the‘self’that‘I’cannotlivewith.”“Maybe,”Ithought,“onlyoneofthemisreal.”I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious,buttherewerenomorethoughts.ThenIfeltdrawnintowhatseemedlike
a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words “resist nothing,”asifspokeninsidemychest.Icouldfeelmyselfbeingsuckedintoavoid.It feltasifthevoidwasinsidemyselfratherthanoutside.Suddenly,therewasnomore
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