Mystics, Masters, Saints, and Sages

by Robert Ullman

  fear,andIletmyselffallintothatvoid.Ihavenorecollectionofwhathappenedafter that.

  I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I openedmyeyes.Thefirstlightofdawnwasfilteringthroughthecurtains.Without

  anythought,Ifelt,Iknew,thatthereisinfinitelymoretolightthanwerealize.That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the room, and yet I knew thatIhadnevertrulyseenitbefore.Everythingwasfreshandpristine,asifithadjust come into existence. I picked up things, a pencil, an empty bottle, marveling at the beautyandalivenessofitall.

  That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth,asifIhadjustbeenbornintothisworld.

  Forthenextfivemonths,Ilivedinastateofuninterrupteddeeppeaceandbliss.

  Afterthat,itdiminishedsomewhatinintensity,orperhapsitjustseemedtobecauseit becamemynaturalstate.Icouldstillfunctionintheworld,althoughIrealizedthat

  200

  nothingIeverdidcouldpossiblyaddanythingtowhatIalreadyhad.

  Iknew,ofcourse,thatsomethingprofoundlysignificanthadhappenedtome,butI

  didn'tunderstanditatall.Itwasn'tuntilseveralyearslater,afterIhadreadspiritual textsandspenttimewithspiritualteachers,thatIrealizedthatwhateverybodywas

  looking for had already happened to me. I understood that the intense pressure of suffering that night must have forced my consciousness to withdraw from its

  identificationwiththeunhappyanddeeplyfearfulself,whichisultimatelyafiction

  of the mind. This withdrawal must have been so complete that this false, suffering selfimmediatelycollapsed,justasifaplughadbeenpulledoutofaninflatabletoy.

  Whatwasleftthenwasmytruenatureastheever-presentIam:consciousnessinits

  purestatepriortoidentificationwithform.LaterIalsolearnedtogointothatinner timelessanddeathlessrealmthatIhadoriginallyperceivedasavoidandremainfully

  conscious. I dwelt in states of such indescribable bliss and sacredness that even the original experience I just described pales in comparison. A time came when, for a while,Iwasleftwithnothingonthephysicalplane.Ihadnorelationships,nojob,no home,nosociallydefinedidentity.Ispentalmosttwoyearssittingonparkbenchesin

  astateofthemostintensejoy.

  Buteventhemostbeautifulexperiencescomeandgo.Morefundamental,perhaps,

  than any experience is the undercurrent of peace that has never left me since then.

  Sometimes it is very strong, almost palpable, and others can feel it too. At other times,itissomewhereinthebackground,likeadistantmelody.

  Later,peoplewouldoccasionallycomeuptomeandsay:“Iwantwhatyouhave.

  Can you give it to me, or show me how to get it?” And I would say: “You have it already. You just can't feel it because your mind is making too much noise.” That answerlatergrewintothebookthatyouareholdinginyourhands.

  BeforeIknewit,Ihadanexternalidentityagain.Ihadbecomeaspiritualteacher.

  From ThePowerofNowbyEckhartTolle.

  201

  A.H.ALMAAS

  202

  THIRTY

  A.H.ALMAAS

  ?–PRESENT,KUWAIT

  A. H. ALMAAS is the pen name of A. Hameed Ali, a contemporary Kuwaiti-born

  spiritual teacher, author, and founder of the Ridhwan School and the Diamond

  Approachtospiritualdevelopment.Ali'sDiamondApproach,popularizedinhisown

  numerous books and in a new guide written by John Davis, is a combination of spirituality and psychology. Ali received training in physics, mathematics, and psychology. Just prior to receiving his doctorate in physics, he left the scientific worldtoseekanswerstothedeeperquestionsoflife,wheresciencehadfailedhim.

  Ali founded the Ridhwan School in 1975, in Berkeley, California, and Boulder, Colorado,tomakehisteachingsavailabletostudents,whocurrentlynumbernearlya

  thousandworldwide.

  Ali brings together an intellectual appreciation of psychology and depth

  psychotherapyandhisownmysticalexperiencestoprovideatheoreticalandpractical

  frameworkforpracticesleadingtothetranscendenceoftheego,orpersonality,and

  the realization of one's Essence or inner self. His “autobiographical fragment”

  LuminousNight'sJourney,fromwhichourselectionisexcerpted,revealsadeepand profound journey into his own Essence. In reading his experiences, it is easy to recognize that he is not speaking merely intellectually, but from the deep inner knowing of a genuine mystic. Ali and his students believe that the aspects of one's Essence are available through examining the ego and personality in a path of rediscovery.

  TheDiamondApproachemploysanumberofmethods.Students,guidedbyAlior

  one of the teachers he has trained, explore their feelings, thoughts, and actions in small groups or individually. They work with intuitive, emotional, and rational processes, breathwork, and subtle energies in a spiritual context. The object of this methodistoopen,purify,andclarifythesoulinordertomorefullyexperienceone's

  unconditionedessentialnature,orpureBeing.Emphasisisplacedondirectspiritual

  experience, opening the soul to Essence, and experiencing Being through direct contact with the qualities of awareness, emptiness, and presence. Although the DiamondApproachisunique,itparallelsandenhancesotherspiritualapproachesby

  examining the psychology of the obstacles and problems that occur during the

  spiritualsearchandofferinginnovativewaysofovercomingspiritualbarriers.

  Ali's enthusiasm for understanding and explaining both philosophical and

  psychological concepts is evident in his many books, tapes, and videos. He and his studentsteachwell-receivedcoursesandholdretreatsthroughoutNorthAmericaand

  Europe.

  The selection comes from Almaas' book, Luminous Night's Journey: An

  203

  AutobiographicalFragment.

  204

  FINDINGESSENCETHROUGHTHEDIAMONDAPPROACH

  Afewdayslater…

  I wake up in the morning with a slight tension at the left shoulder. There is discomfortwiththetension.Simplybeingawareofthetensionseemstoinfluenceit

  by making it expand. It becomes a line of tension along the left side of the chest, enfoldedbyasoftcushionysensation.

  This line is a manifestation of the ego-self that I call the “egoline.” It usually accompanies a specific psychic contraction that corresponds to the presence of the individualityofego.Inotherwords,theego-lineisthephysicalmanifestationofthe ego structure that gives the personality or ego-self the sense of being a separate individual,anautonomousperson.Thelineoftensionisadirectindicationthatthe senseofbeinganindividualontheegolevelisacontractionofconsciousness.This separate individuality of ego is formed or defined mostly by the separating boundaries,bothbodilyandpsychological.

  The soft cushiony sensation around the line of tension turns out to be a

 
manifestation of consciousness that relates to a false sense of being a person. This makessense,fortheego-linerepresentsthepersonofego,whichisnotanessential

  form, but imitates the essential form of the personal essence. As I recognize its falseness, it begins slowly to flake off, falling off the line of tension like dead skin fallingoffamummy.Thisprocessgoesonformostoftheday.

  Laterintheday,thelineoftensionbecomesatubeofaplastic-likesubstance,an

  emptyplastictube,whichextendsallthewaytothetopofthehead.AsIgoaboutthe

  businessoftheday,Idonotlosetouchwiththiscontraction,butremaincontinuously

  aware of it as part of my conscious experience. At some point, this contemplation opens the way for a very subtle insight: my concern about the contraction is inseparable from the contraction. The concern involves a desire for the contraction nottobethere,whichInowrecognizeasmyhopetogobeyondit.Theplastictube

  contraction is the presence of the individual of ego in the posture of hoping to go beyonditself.Thehopeisinseparablefromthecontraction,becauseitisthefuture-oriented attitude of the personality, which is the contraction. As I see this, the contraction begins to dissolve. The tube of contraction first dissolves in the head, which eliminates the mental concern. A beautiful sky-blue quality of consciousness appears in the head, bringing a sense of mental rest and relaxation. Poignant settlednessofallagitationinthehead.Theheadfeelsfilledbyadelicioussensation thatseemstosmoothlydissolveanyforminthispartofthebody.

  Asthishappens,andasthetotalityofthetubeofcontractiondisappears,Ilosethe

  sense of being a person, and become an awareness that recedes indefinitely, as if backward, from the familiar sense of being a person, until I recognize myself as a new kind of witnessing. I become an immaterial witness, not located within a personalconsciousness.Ifindmyselftobeawitnessingofallphenomena.

  Anewobstaclearisesatthispoint,abeliefthatconstitutesaresistanceagainstthis newmanifestation.Thisbeliefinterfereswiththesenseofwitnessing,withouttotally

  eliminatingit.Thebeliefisthattherewillbenopersonallife,nopersonalliving,if thereisnoenmeshmentinlife.Thisexposesthebeliefaspartoftheinertiaofbeing

  205

  theseparateindividualofego.

  Beingrespondstothisconcernbymanifestingtheaspectofthepersonalessence,

  thepearlbeyondprice,thepersonofBeing.Theexperiencetransformsintoknowing

  myself as a full presence, rounded as a pearl, but transparent and sweet. I feel personal, even though I am a pure presence of transparent consciousness. This transparentfullnesshasasubtlesweetness,makingitfeelslightlysticky,orgummy.

  Thereispurepresence,withclarityandspaciousnessallaround.Thecognitiveaspect

  of the experience is that I am a person with no qualities, only a personal presence, devoidofimagesorpsychologicalboundaries.SinceIcanbeapersonwithoutbeing

  theproductofmemory,Icanliveapersonallifewithoutgettinglostinit.

  That night, during dinner, the leaden heaviness appears again, scattering the

  attentionandpresenceforaboutanhour.Theleadenheavinessbecomessodensethat

  it disintegrates most of my capacity for attention and presence. Strong resistances arise, feelings of rubbery thickness, wooden dryness, amorphous states of

  consciousness, and many other confused and chaotic sensations. I feel the leaden roundedheavinesspushingfrominside,scatteringwhateverconsciousnessitmeetsin

  its way. At this point I realize that the power of this heaviness arises from the transformationoftheleadenconsciousnessintosomethingmuchmoresubstantialand

  powerful. The lead pearl has transformed into the shiny gray existence pearl, like a largepearlofhematite.

  I feel personal but immense, a person of Being so dense that my substantiality eclipsesthephysicalsubstantialityofthebody.Themostdefinitefeelingisasenseof personal existence. I feel intensely real, existing so fundamentally that the mind cannot conceive of this reality. I experience myself as a person, and this person is composed of pure existence. Existence of Being, essential and fundamental, and independentofthemind,formstheveryatomsofwhatIam.Iamexistence,beyond

  allthoughtofexistence.Thesenseoftruthandrealityisimmenselyprofound;itfeels deeper than the universe itself. And this unimaginably real sense of existence has a very subtle sense of being a person— a person not defined by history or mind, not confinedbycharactertraitsorrelationships,butapersonwhoexists,andthatisall.

  Thesenseofexistencehasanunquestionablesenseofcertainty,independentofany

  contentofmindorexperience.Irecognizeatthispointthatthereisnobasisforthe

  concernthattherewillbenopersonallifeifIamnotenmeshedinit.

  This experience of being so real and certain as a person continues throughout dinner.Icontinuetoconversewithmydinnercompanions,whileIamspontaneously

  attending to the inner transformation. The unusually substantial sense of presence affectstheatmosphereatdinnerinasubtlewaynotrecognizedbymycompanions.

  The conversation merely turns towards basic things in life, less abstract and more personal.Mybodyfeelsasifallofitsatomsarepulleddownward,asifgravityhas

  increased,butthereisnophysicaldiscomfort.Infact,thebodyrelaxes;themuscles

  letgoandcondensedownward.

  Irealizethatthereisnorealbasisforbelievingthatinordertohaveapersonallife I need to be enmeshed in it. This is true for the person of ego, who is formed by images and psychological patterns. Now, however, I have the certainty that my personalexistenceisbeyondanyofthat.Mypersonalexistenceisbeyondmindand

  206

  history, for it is an essential manifestation of the fundamental existence of Being. I can be a person, and live a personal life in a truly involved way, without being enmeshedinanyofitsparticulars.Thisiscertain.

  I have experienced my presence in the essential form of the pearl innumerable times. This essential form manifests mostly as a luminous white pearl, but can manifestinthecolorofanyessentialaspect,likethedeepskyblueofdirectknowing, the emerald green of loving kindness, or the shiny gold of truth. In each of these manifestations, the particular aspect, with all its alchemical characteristics, is experiencedalongwiththecharacteristicofpersonalness.Thepresenceofthepearl signifiesauthenticpersonalness,whichrevealsthepossibilityoflivingapersonallife fromtheviewofBeing.

  The existence pearl is the new development of the personal aspect of Being. It is quite amazing to see how Being resolves a particular issue, or answers a real question,notbyaninsightorideabutbythepresentationofanessentialformofits owntruth.TheresolutionisanexperienceofBeing,inoneofitspureanduniversal forms, and not merely the dissolution of an obstacle or the end of a conflict. The beautifulthingaboutsucharesolutionishowexactandpreciseitis.Beingresponds withtheprecisestateneededfortheresolution,astatenotanticipatedbythemind, arising as an unexpected discovery. Such experiences demonstrate the awesome intelligence that Being possesses, which can only fill us with awe, and heart-felt gratitudeandtrust.

  TheconcernthatIstartedwithinvolvedthebeliefthattherewouldbenopers
onal

  life if there were no enmeshment in it. I believed I would not exist as a person if I were not enmeshed in the particulars of my life. Being revealed, through its messenger, the nous, that my personal existence is an essential manifestation of Being,independentofmindandsituations,andhencestandsonitsown,independent

  ofmentalreactions.Inotherwords,Icanliveapersonallifebymerelybeing,formy personal existence is a part of Being. There is no real threat to my personal existence. Before this point, I had not experienced existence of Being, itself, as a personal presence. The response of Being to my concern is exquisitely precise, beyondallexpectations.

  By the time dinner is over, the density and substantiality suddenly evaporate, revealing a vastness beyond comprehension. I do not perceive this vastness, but I recognizeitasmyveryidentity.Iexperiencemyselfasthevastsilentdarkemptiness.

  AsIexperiencethisnewidentity,IlearnagreatdealofwhatItrulyamwhenIam

  nottrappedintheparticularsofpersonallifeandhistory.Icanbepresentaspersonal existence, or I can transcend all personal experience. I am then the unchanging background witnessing, which has been revealing itself in the midst of personal experience, in glimpses and intimations, flashes and intuitions. Now this awareness revealsitselffully,astheuniversalwitness.

  I experience myself as beyond everything, literally everything, and not just

  everything in my personal life. I am a silent witness, vast and unchanging, beyond time and all space. I am absolutely still, totally uninvolved, but completely aware.

  ThisdemonstratesdirectlythatIdonotneedtobefreedorenlightened.Iamalways