by Gina Dartt
“I guess it is.” Kate still felt uncertain, but wasn’t sure it was worth taking any further. “I’m sorry, darling. I don’t like fighting with you.”
“I’m sorry, too.” Nikki kissed the top of her head. “I know you worry about me, Kate, and sometimes I do things that give you cause, but I’ll never allow my curiosity to come between us.” She hugged Kate tightly, then paused. “If you really want me to walk away from this, I will.”
Kate’s heart ached. Because Nikki offered so freely, Kate couldn’t accept. Clearly Nikki wanted to pursue this investigation and would only resent Kate if she stopped her. It would create a subtle and insidious breach in their relationship and inevitably drive a wedge between them. Kate still didn’t understand why it was so important to Nikki, but she had to respect the power of that desire. Despite how much she hated the situation, she had to let Nikki be who she was or risk losing her in the end. Kate shook her head. “No. If you decide not to do this, it has to be for your own reasons not because my fears forced you into it. I just have to trust that you’ll think twice and remember why I’m afraid.”
Nikki tightened her embrace. “Thank you.” Her breath was a warm wash in Kate’s ear. “I love you so much.”
Moisture stung Kate’s eyes. “I love you, too.” She found it hard to form the words past the lump in her throat. “That’s why this is so hard for me.”
“I know.” Nikki rested her chin on top of her lover’s head. “I won’t betray your trust, Kate. I’ll stay safe.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
Nikki hugged her again, and they settled back against the sofa, taking respite in one another. Resting her head beneath Nikki’s chin, Kate prayed they wouldn’t have any disagreement worse than this, though she suspected there would be other battles in their future. They needed to always choose as they had this night, to stay and face their problems rather than go off in separate directions to nurse hurt feelings and wounded pride that could only escalate the rift. If they could always get past that initial flare of outrage and talk to each other, Kate thought they stood a good chance of surviving as a couple.
She just wished it wasn’t so difficult to make that choice.
Chapter Twenty-three
Nikki woke with a start, thinking she had only dozed off for a few moments, but it was 4:15 the next morning. She could feel the nearness of her lover still asleep beside her. Kate’s quiet presence soothed Nikki’s soul and tempered her discord. She wasn’t sure what had disturbed her. Perhaps her dreams, formless and unremembered, had left her unhappy in their aftermath.
They hadn’t made love upon going to bed, their feelings still a bit raw and tender, and Nikki wondered if that had caused her restlessness. Sighing, she rolled over and slipped her arm over Kate, drawing close to her warmth and nuzzling into the soft hair at the nape of her neck. Closing her eyes, she tried to get back to sleep, but it stubbornly eluded her. Her mind continued to race, replaying the argument from the previous evening.
She didn’t blame Kate for not understanding why investigating the Elliot family was so important. She didn’t really understand it herself. Partly it was the seductive nature of dabbling in forbidden things, but did it go deeper than that?
She remembered her youth when she felt so different from the rest of those people around her, particularly her older siblings. Jeff and Julia were outgoing, popular in school and throughout their rural community, involved in many of the local activities. Although Nikki had been fairly athletic and participated in a few of the intramural sports, she remained shy and reserved overall, with very few close friends. Then Jaime had died and everything had changed.
Nikki’s mind shied abruptly away from that dark path as it always did, automatic in its avoidance.
She became a complete loner after that, losing herself in television and books, searching out the latter in the library and at flea markets and yard sales. Mysteries were her particular favorite. The main characters always seemed to do whatever they wanted, and she wanted to be so clever and intuitive that she could dig out the truth where others couldn’t. Perhaps if she had been as perceptive as those detectives, she could have seen beyond the surface at a critical time and prevented what should never have happened.
Kate stirred in her arms, as if she were trying to escape her own dark dreams. Nikki brushed her lips over her lover’s smooth forehead, and Kate made a small sound in the back of her throat, her breathing smoothing over to settle into a regular rhythm, asleep once more.
Is this worth the pain and confusion it’s causing her?
Nikki wished she could just walk away; things would be so much simpler without this compulsion to look beyond her everyday life to discover what motivated and affected others. Yet the thought of letting it go in favor of a Bed, Bath & Beyond mindset depressed her.
Besides, she wouldn’t have many opportunities to play detective. This was Truro, after all. Although there had been three murders since the beginning of the year, that was so out of the ordinary that the small town was probably being listed as the current murder capital of the Maritimes, perhaps even all of Eastern Canada. Deaths such as those of Sam Madison and Katherine Rushton, and the new events involving the Elliot family, would probably never happen again in Nikki’s lifetime.
She exhaled slowly and settled closer to her lover, feeling drowsiness start to drag her down. On some level, Nikki realized that if she gave in to Kate’s fears, it would redefine their relationship, and not necessarily in a good way. It would take away a certain amount of her independence and inquisitiveness. Ironic, since she knew those were the traits that first attracted Kate and initially brought them together. Nikki’s insight was fleeting, skating along the surface of her mind in that subconscious haze before sleep took over. She wasn’t even sure if she would remember any of this when she awoke later.
*
The sun pouring through the window heralded a bright Sunday morning, and, faintly, Nikki could hear church bells chiming. The curtains wafted in a spring breeze that brought with it a tinge of green and new growth. Kate had apparently decided to start things without waking her, and Nikki couldn’t conceive of a better way to be drawn out of sleep than by the fingertips that traced searing patterns over her skin. Kate sought out her lips, kissing her deeply as she melted into her. Still pleasantly fogged from sleep, Nikki responded instinctively, seeking out those special places in her lover, never fully conscious until the instant of complete surrender, arching helplessly as she cried out Kate’s name.
Afterward, she blew away a strand of her own sweat-soaked hair and gazed up at Kate who hovered above her, her warm eyes shaded to a soft blue.
“Good morning,” Kate said.” Good morning yourself.” Nikki wiggled happily, still feeling the tremors ripple through her. “It’s so hard to believe that you’ve never been with a woman before me. You’re such a natural.”
Kate looked smugly pleased and embarrassed at the same time. Nikki found it adorable. “I’m glad we made up.”
“I am, too.” Kate began a second, lazier exploration of Nikki’s body. “Whatever shall we do today?”
Nikki couldn’t assemble a logical thought. “Hmm, I think you’re already doing it.”
Another intensely pleasant interlude passed before they finally rose and, dressed in robes and little else, enjoyed a light brunch that they ate at Kate’s formal dining table. As Kate perused the business section of the Sunday newspaper, Nikki skimmed the sports, comics, and entertainment sections before turning to what else was going on in the province. Truro was too small to publish a paper seven days a week so this publication originated in the city, granting more extensive coverage than the small town’s paper usually did. A small item caught Nikki’s attention.
“Listen to this. There was a car accident in the city last night.”
“So?”
“Pat Spencer suffered minor injuries in a two-car collision early Saturday evening. He was treated for minor injuries and later released. Police are aski
ng for any information leading to the identification of the second vehicle, which fled the scene.” Nikki frowned, puzzled. “I wonder if someone was trying to shut him up.”
Kate looked displeased. “It was an accident. Besides, Pat Spencer is a fairly common name. There’s no reason to believe it’s the man you’re thinking of.”
“No reason to think it isn’t, either. I can get the particulars when I go into work Tuesday.” Nikki evaluated the expression on her lover’s face and decided that she should let the topic go, at least for the rest of the day. They only had Sundays to spend together, and allowing external things to occupy their attention would disrupt what little time they had. “Have you ever played tennis?”
Kate appeared startled at the comment, or perhaps it was the abrupt shift in conversation, but shook her head. “Once, I think, but it was just trying to hit the ball. I’ve never actually played a match.”
“Would you like to go down to the courts and hit a few?”
“I have a better idea. Let me get my clubs out of the closet, and we can go down to the driving range for the rest of the morning.”
“You mean…golf?”
Nikki tried not to look as dismayed as she felt. She knew that a lot of people placed the two sports into similar categories, but for her there was no comparison. Tennis demanded a great deal of physical effort, stamina, quickness, and eye/hand coordination. Not only did players have to contend with their own game, but the competitor across the net. On the other hand, a person could play golf alone, and walking from the cart to the ball was the only exercise it provided. Old men played it, for crying out loud, meandering over the extensively manicured courses like cattle grazing in a particularly lush field.
Still, Nikki reminded herself, she had aggravated Kate enough this weekend. Would it really kill her to spend the afternoon hitting a few of the silly little golf balls?
Quickly forcing a bright smile onto her face, she put down the paper. “Hey, I guess I have to learn sometime. Do I need to rent some clubs?”
Kate beamed at her, obviously pleased to be sharing her favorite pastime. “I have an extra driver and putter. But when we play a round, you should either rent or buy your own set.”
“I’ll do that,” Nikki lied, keeping the smile carefully in place.
*
The wind was stiff at the driving range, coming in over the marsh stretching out behind the town’s biggest mall. Nikki was glad she had worn a thick sweatshirt over her T-shirt and jeans. This land could not be built on because of the danger of flooding every year, so Nikki supposed a driving range was one way to use it. She could also see some people flying model airplanes and kites nearby, exulting in the flat, open space devoid of power lines or trees, a rarity in the area made up primarily of forests and rolling hills.
Waiting as Kate rented the balls, Nikki stood on a strip of artificial turf, uneasily holding two drivers and gazing at the line of golfing aficionados stretching out on either side of her. She was pleasantly surprised to recognize Andrew Elliot hitting balls only two slots down. His back was to her, but she easily identified his profile as he lifted his head sideways before taking his shot. He didn’t seem to be doing very well, many of the balls barely ten feet off the ground as they foundered through the air, but he doggedly kept at it, shanking one after another.
Nikki meant to keep half an eye on him as she and Kate played, but she found the game harder than she’d expected, and forgot about him as she tried to absorb Kate’s lessons on technique. To her astonishment, her non-athletic lover seemed to find this sport easy, forcing Nikki to reevaluate a few preconceived notions she had been cherishing.
When Kate hit the ball, it invariably took off as if launched from a cannon, whistling through the air so quickly that Nikki had difficulty tracking it until it finally landed a significant yardage away. This continued until her last ball, at which point Kate said a few encouraging words to Nikki, presumably to console her for flubbing the ball a few times and generally embarrassing herself.
“Would you put the clubs back in the car please, darling?” Kate asked, picking up the buckets herself.
Nikki had done really well, she thought. But newcomers often seemed to take to the sport naturally, then the tightness would start, and suddenly the ball would refuse to go where they wanted. She gazed over at Nikki, who was standing at the back of the SUV, watching another car some distance away. Kate focused in on the vehicle and recognized Andrew Elliot sitting in the driver’s seat, speaking to Pat Spencer, who was leaning through the window.
Andrew appeared upset, his face an ugly red. The conversation grew more heated, and Kate kept watching as she walked toward Nikki. Pat strode away from the car, and Andrew spun out of the parking lot and sped down the street until he turned the corner by the mall and was lost to view.
“Hear anything interesting?” Kate asked in a deliberately foreboding tone.
Nikki didn’t take notice of Kate’s pique, accepting the question at face value. “No.” She clearly regretted that fact. “I was too far away, and they were talking too low. But whatever it was, it really made Andrew mad. I wonder who he was talking to.”
“Pat Spencer. Stephen’s friend.” The words were out before Kate could stop them, much to her chagrin. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut?
“That was Pat Spencer?” Nikki’s eyes were alight.
Kate didn’t sigh, but she did get into her vehicle with a certain resignation. They had settled this issue the night before, she reminded herself as she started the truck. Nikki was going to pursue whatever lead dropped into her lap, and Kate was just going to have to accept that fact. She didn’t even know how much of it was honest concern over Nikki, and how much of it was her own sense of impropriety about poking around in someone else’s business. If Nikki wasn’t discreet in her investigations, both Nikki and she could be humiliated, and Kate really did not like scenes of any sort, particularly public ones of the kind Hannah and she had indulged in at the Historical Society Dinner.
It was all so uncouth.
“So,” she said, wanting to think about something else as they pulled out of the parking lot, “Can I interest you in a round of golf sometime?”
“Sure. You know, I didn’t realize how good you are. You can really smack it a long way. Further than most of those guys.”
Kate shrugged, though she was pleased by the compliment. “My father taught me. He and I used to play together a lot, particularly when I was a teenager.” She smiled in remembrance. “He was always so proud of me. Other men wouldn’t have wanted an adolescent girl around when they were playing golf, but Dad liked showing off how far I could hit to all his friends.”
“That’s cool.” Nikki hesitated. “Do you miss them? Still, I mean. As much?”
Kate thought of the couple that had been killed on an icy highway between the Annapolis Valley and Halifax, after a visit to her at the university. She had been only twenty-two, and for a time, it seemed she wouldn’t survive the aftermath despite the support of her grandmother and friends like Susan and David. She blamed herself for the accident, not the drunk driver who had collided with them. Even now, it made her angry. Her parents had been such loving and kind people, while so many of their peers, lacking their innate goodness, seemed to live forever. It was just so bloody unfair.
“All the time.” Her voice was suddenly husky. “You would have liked them. And I know they would have adored you.”
Nikki looked away, blushing. “I’m glad you think so.”
Kate turned right at the stop sign. “Hungry? We didn’t eat much before we left.”
Nikki brightened. “Let’s go to the Mayflower. It’s open on Sundays, and I’m not really in the mood for fast food.”
Unlike most provinces in Canada, Nova Scotia forced most retail businesses to close on Sundays, leaving only a few places like the corner convenience stores and drug stores open. Some people liked it. Other people thought it was a ridiculously archaic law. Kate, as a bus
inesswoman, was personally split on the issue that inevitably came up for public discussion every few years.
She readily understood the additional money that could be made by staying open the extra day, as well as the convenience provided for those customers who had a limited amount of time to shop. On the other hand, an inescapable sense of peacefulness descended upon the province on that one day of the week. Less traffic clogged the streets, and more people strolled down the sidewalks. People visited relatives and friends, or spent time at home with their families. Everything just seemed more relaxed, and Kate also enjoyed not having to open her bookstore all seven days in order to compete with the chain outlet in the mall.
For that reason alone, she appreciated it. During the past several years, Sunday had been her only day off. If another referendum took place, Kate would vote to keep it the way it was, just for the small business people like her who desperately needed that guaranteed day of rest.
Crossing Queen Street at the lights, Kate took Lorne Street to Prince and turned left, which was all she could do since the town’s main thoroughfare was one-way, where she drove for a couple of blocks until she reached Ingles Place, yet another one-way street. She was pleased to see a parking spot in front of the diner. Of course, it was a little late for lunch and too early for dinner, so probably plenty of tables were available.
Inside, Addy greeted Nikki cheerfully and Kate in a more subdued tone. Kate thought the buxom waitress was a little intimidated by her, although she had always tried to be friendly the few times she had patronized the diner. Of course, this was Nikki’s hangout, along with her friends. Kate ate at the Emporium Tearoom up the block whenever she chose to go out for lunch. As she slipped into the vinyl booth, she felt as if she were back in her college days in a similar diner located in Wolfville, not far from Acadia University. She wondered if it still existed, and if the students still hung out there between classes.