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Expect It When You Least Expect It

Page 7

by TJ Seitz

elder peers told him to lighten up; it was just a joke and that he was just as much to blame for the outcome as the person who called.

  For the next week, store employees, including management, laughed and commended about the shrewd deception and taunted the younger co-workers for their gullibility.

  After hearing all the ranting, Grashole, despite not being the brightest bulb in the lot, eventually put two and two together and figured it was Wally who made the call.

  Mitch knew that Wally was one of the few people, including him-self, who were not invited to the party and confronted Wally with his findings, “You made that call didn’t you Wally? You, Laura and Fes were the only one’s not invited.

  Laura was out of town. Festus could have gone if he wanted to but did not because he had to work, which leaves you. Ha! YOU made that call! I know it! I’ll admit though that what you did was pretty funny. Funny, like getting caught in the crapper with your pants down during the bombing of Hiroshima! You know that you’re gonna get your ass kicked if anyone ever finds out.”

  Wally was put on the spot. He did not have enough time make up a good line of shit or believable lie, so he just confessed, “Ya I made the call, but Festus dared me. He gave me five dollars for following through with it.”

  Wally figured it would not hurt any at this point to mention Festus’ involvement in the execution of the prank. He was a lot tougher than Wally so anyone who knew better wouldn’t mess with or threaten him.

  Living up to his reputation, rather than keep what he knew to himself, Grashole snitched on Wally. The very next day he went right to Dave with the information, hoping he would impress subordinates with his investigative skills. It didn’t.

  Dave quickly coordinated a posse of five. They waited until the next time Wally was working after school and cornered him while he was working in the freezer.

  It was Wally’s luck that his brother Festus was also in the store picking up his paycheck and checking his work schedule for the next week. He saw what was going on and came to Wally’s defense.

  Festus told the group, “You fuckers better leave my baby brother alone, unless you want to include me in your discussion.”

  None of the teens were that stupid and backed off, but as they all disbursed Dave told Wally in a calm reptilian voice, “This is far from over Wally. Expect it when you least expect it.”

  When everyone left the area, Festus punched Wally real hard in the arm, “You stupid faggot! Why couldn’t you keep your damn mouth shut?”

  Wally told Fes, “Grass-Hole’ figured the whole thing out and started blabbing to everyone.”

  Festus responded by saying, “I kind of figured that’s what happened. You are better at lying to Mom than other people. Why the fuck did you have to drop my name? That jack-off Grass-hole will now start bothering me back in the bakery because he knows I encouraged you. I don’t want to talk to him about work stuff let alone anything else. I want my five dollars back.”

  Wally gladly gave the money back to his brother.

  Conclusion

  It’s been nearly thirty years since the practical joke occurred.

  Wally is still leery and waiting for someone to follow through with the threat, especially at class reunions and impromptu gatherings at local bars.

  He wonders just how many people still remember the evening they spent in the basement of Dave’s house and if they still have the desire to inflict revenge.

 


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