by Zoe Chant
“Anyway,” she said. “Maybe you’re right, and I should quit pretending I’m not afraid. Only an idiot wouldn’t be afraid in this situation, anyway. I just get so caught up in thinking people are judging my choices.”
“No one I’ve met so far has sounded like they judge your choices,” Nate said. “I certainly don’t.”
Stella pulled the car into the driveway of the house, parked, and looked over at him. “You’re different,” she said speculatively. “I don’t know why. I didn’t even want to pretend with you. Not from the second we met.”
Nate met her eyes, and there was a long, long moment where neither of them said anything, just looked at each other. Stella felt caught by his gaze, her breath coming faster, her lynx waking up in her chest.
Danger, danger! An alarm bell seemed to ring inside of her, and she reacted too quickly, fumbling for the door handle, tripping her way out of the car, and trotting up the walk to the house.
Cowardly, maybe. But she had to get away from the growing feeling that this time, she had met a good man.
And he was off-limits.
Inside, she almost ran into Lynn, who reached out her hands to steady Stella. “Whoa, hey,” her sister said, half-laughing. “Everything okay?”
Stella started to give her an airy, Oh yes, fine—but fresh from the conversation with Nate, she made herself take a deep breath and say, “Todd was waiting in the parking lot at work. It...it freaked me out a little.”
Lynn’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no—is everything okay?” Her eyes shifted to a spot behind Stella’s shoulder, and she turned to see Nate coming into the house after her.
“Nothing physical happened,” Nate assured Lynn. “Just a lot of words.”
Lynn looked back to Stella. “What’d he say?” Her voice was fierce.
“Just...a lot of stupid stuff.” Stella didn’t want to go over it all again. Hearing it once was bad enough. “It sucks.” Her voice was small.
Lynn pulled her into a hug. Stella felt her eyes go wide—this was the second time in two days. Lynn had never been a touchy-feely person. Stella was the total opposite, and she could remember being a little kid, clinging onto Lynn with both hands while Lynn protested and tried to escape.
Well, no escaping here. Lynn held her close, her solid strength seeming to rejuvenate Stella somehow, give her more air to breathe and more warmth to sustain her.
After what felt like a long, long time, Lynn pulled back and smiled at her. “Ken and I thought we might shift and go for a run,” she said. “Do you want to come along?” Her eyes flickered back beyond Stella’s shoulder again. “If that’s all right.”
“I’ve got no reason to think it wouldn’t be,” Nate said comfortably.
Stella thought about getting out into the clean, crisp air of the mountains, running together with her family. “That sounds wonderful,” she said, heartfelt. “Is Eva home? Maybe she wants to go, too.”
“She’s upstairs,” Lynn confirmed.
Eva, it turned it, did actually want to go, which Stella considered a minor miracle. It was great to see her looking up from her technology more often; Stella had gotten so used to having to surgically remove her from her phone.
But now, she thought about it for a second, and then asked, “Is Nate coming along?”
“Yep,” Stella said, and then a thought occurred to her. “I guess he’ll shift, too, so we’ll get to see what kind of shifter he is.”
Eva grinned. “Sure, I’ll come.”
So they all gathered in the backyard. Ken and Lynn were already shifted, the lion and the lynx together. Nate tossed Stella a grin, and then his eyes got that faraway look that Stella sometimes saw in other shifters right before they changed.
Then he shivered and blurred, and there in the place where he’d been was a panther.
A panther. Stella had never seen one in person before—never met anyone who’d even known a panther shifter.
His fur was so black it took on a blue sheen in the sunlight. Muscles rippled over his form as he padded over to her, one ear twitching as a bird took off from a nearby tree. Stella’s breath caught at the compact strength in his movements. It was clear to her that at any moment, if a threat appeared, Nate could be at its throat, and it would stand absolutely no chance.
She reached out before she realized what she was doing. It wasn’t polite, wasn’t good shifter manners, not while he was shifted and she was still human. But she couldn’t seem to stop herself from trying to touch.
And he responded, padding over to her, and leaning into her touch. She slid her fingers through his fur, feeling the warmth and coiled power beneath her hand.
This was what was protecting her. This creature of grace and strength. His claws flexed as she rubbed his neck, and she shivered.
Then she pulled her hand back, concentrated for a second, and shifted as well.
In her lynx’s body, Nate’s form suddenly seemed huge. Lynxes were among the smaller big cats—Lynn had always had a larger, more powerful shifted form, but Stella was on the average side. She wasn’t anything to compare to a panther.
As they started out—Stella keeping a habitual eye on Eva, although Eva didn’t need anyone’s supervision at this point—Nate hung back, keeping up the rear while Ken and Lynn led the way. Stella and Eva were between everyone, in the center of the group. Protected.
It was nice. Although at last, Stella could feel that old contrary independence asserting itself: she wanted to break free and run unencumbered through the forest, leaping without any concern from rock to tree to ledge.
With some effort, she stuffed the instinct back down. It wasn’t a hardship to run with this group, after all. Her family.
And once they got further away from the house, into the mountains where Todd would have no reason to be, she’d be free to do whatever she wanted to do.
For now, she trotted along at Eva’s side and tried to keep from glancing back at Nate every five minutes.
She just wanted to see. He moved with such a sense of restraint. It was different from Ken, the lion, who ambled along with the smaller cats as though he was just pleased to be keeping an easy, lazy pace. Nate was...measured. Purposeful. Like he was waiting for the moment when he’d explode into motion.
Stella didn’t want to miss it.
Slowly, they moved further into the mountains. After a little while, Eva picked up the pace, running forward impatiently to take a spot alongside Ken and Lynn. Ken gave her a grin, lazy, with his tongue hanging out, and ran ahead, leaving Eva to chase after him.
Stella took that as a cue. She glanced back at Nate, who was watching the impromptu game of tag, and twitched an ear.
His attention was immediately on her. She held his gaze for one long, deliberate moment—and then darted away.
He was after her immediately. She’d been right—he was a whirlwind of motion, blowing past her in a blue-black blur, landing hard and solid right in front of her.
Stella hung a right at the last second and leapt for a tree. A small one, one that could easily take a lynx’s weight but might bend under a panther’s. She scrambled up, ran out on a small branch, and crouched to spring across to the next tree, catching the trunk in her claws.
Fun! her lynx exulted. It’s been so long since we’ve run like this!
It was true. Stella had been coming out to watch the dawn in Glacier park several times a week for months. But it wasn’t like this. She’d go out as a human, with her sketchbook, and draw the trees and rocks. Or she’d shift and trot up to a good viewpoint, slow and steady.
And she always went alone.
This was something else.
She leapt from tree to tree until she was far away from the first one—maybe too far? She probably shouldn’t separate herself too much; people might worry.
Guiltily, she paused in the branches of a big pine and started eyeing the descent. Down to that branch, and then that one, and finally that one, and now she was jumping distance from the ground—
And a shadow detached itself from a bush and came up to the trunk, sitting on his haunches with, Stella was certain, a self-satisfied expression on his face.
Laughing to herself, Stella leapt to the ground. He’d kept up with her the whole way. She always lost other shifters like that. She was small and agile enough to just disappear into the upper reaches of the trees, leaving wolves, bears, and smaller shifters behind.
But not this man.
She settled on her haunches as he approached her, wondering what he’d do. He sat down in front of her and lifted a paw. Gravely, he touched it to her shoulder.
Tag, Stella thought.
And then suddenly he was gone.
Stella gave chase immediately. Her lynx growled in her chest, and she could feel the blood rushing in her veins, her breath coming fast, her paws thumping on the forest floor. Where was he?
She couldn't see him—he vanished into the shadows of the underbrush like he didn't exist at all—but she'd caught his scent. It was an earthy, seductive smell, something that suggested faraway forests and masculine energy. She inhaled and followed it.
Finally, she caught a flash of blackness against a patch of sunlight, and ran flat-out to catch it. He was gone by the time she got to the clearing where she'd seen him, but the scent lingered, and she raced along the path it marked.
There—scaling a ledge, straight up a rock face like it was a set of stairs. Stella dashed forward and leapt with all of her strength, catching the ledge with her claws and leaping again to land right beside him.
Gotcha, she thought with satisfaction. She didn't want to spare a paw from holding onto the rock face, so she leaned in and touched her nose to his shoulder. Tag, she thought, inhaling some more of that overwhelming scent.
He turned to face her, his eyes flickering over her body—checking see if she was all right? After a second, though, he kept going up, then paused and looked at her.
Clearly, she was meant to follow.
She scaled the rock after him. Not quite as fast, with her smaller limbs, but steady. Every few seconds he’d look back, and he slowed down after a bit to let her catch up.
When they both hauled themselves over the cliff edge, he flopped down in a patch of sunlight. It looked like tag was over, which was fine with Stella, because she was starting to get a little tired. She didn’t run like this every day.
Stella curled up next to him, enjoying the endless flexibility of her lynx’s body. Her eyes drifted closed. She was completely safe here—from Todd, from predators, from curious hikers, from anyone. Nate was right next to her, and she had no doubt that he’d see any threat miles before it actually arrived.
She could feel the body heat rising from his fur. That gorgeous scent curled around her, and she breathed in deep and closed her eyes.
***
Nate
Nate stayed absolutely still as Stella’s breathing evened out. He didn’t want to move and risk waking her. Not when he was fairly certain she’d had a sleepless night last night—and it probably wasn’t the only one in the last month.
When he was sure she was truly asleep, he stretched and turned to look at her, curled into a little ball next to him. He wanted to nose at her fur, wash her tufted ears, soothe her sleep, but he refrained.
Why not? his panther wanted to know. She smells so good.
And she did, but that was no excuse. He was on guard, and he was sure she’d been so quick to fall asleep because she knew he was there.
And that wasn’t even considering the fact that they had a professional relationship, and people in professional relationships didn’t wash each other’s ears. Even shifters.
Could this—this animalistic draw that he felt for Stella just be because they were both shifters? He hardly ever dated shifter women.
But it wasn’t like he never saw them. And he usually steered clear of them, in fact. He never wanted the woman—or Nate’s panther—to get the wrong idea and think that he was looking for a pack. Or a mate. Every so often, one of them would have an intriguing scent, but it was never something he had trouble ignoring.
But Stella...
This was a whole new side of her that he was seeing, out here. Not the honest vulnerability of their conversations, and not the carefully airy mask she projected around other people.
No, this was the person Nate suspected was underneath all of that. The person Stella meant when she talked about how she loved her freedom and scorned regrets. The person who could run wild through the mountains without a thought to anything but which tree she’d leap to next.
Her shifter form wasn’t anything he’d expected, either. He remembered first meeting her, and thinking that she was like a bird, all delicate and graceful, alighting on a seat as though it was a perch.
But the lynx fit her, too. Small and wild, able to get up to the tallest tree branch, scale the sheerest wall. Vulnerable, but not helpless. And beautiful—that tawny fur, those topaz eyes, the way she’d slipped through the tree branches like she was walking on solid ground.
He smiled inwardly, thinking of their game of tag. It had been a long, long time since he’d played like that. If he ever had. The rough-and-tumble games with his buddies back when he was a young Marine had been very different from this. He hadn’t been able to do more than softly touch his paw to her fur—and then he’d gotten that cool, delicate bump of her nose against his shoulder in return.
He’d have been able to catch her quick if he hadn’t been a bit concerned about bowing some of the smaller trees under his greater weight—he hadn’t wanted to accidentally knock her to the ground. But chasing her had been fun, and he’d almost regretting ending it.
But then running from her, knowing that she was behind him...he’d left himself vulnerable in ways that he wouldn’t have in any kind of serious pursuit, because, well, he’d wanted her to catch him.
And she had.
Nate watched her sleep for a while, overcome by a sort of fierce tenderness, a deep but vulnerable protective instinct that he’d never felt before. Inside his chest, his panther purred.
Eventually, Stella blinked and yawned. It was unbearably cute, like one of the kitten pictures from the Internet that Connie was always sending him.
Nate stretched, resisted the urge to nuzzle her awake—seriously, what was wrong with him?—and shifted to human.
Stella shook herself, licked a paw, and focused on him. After a long look from those bright topaz eyes, she blurred and shifted as well. “Mmm,” she said. “Sorry for falling asleep.”
Nate tried to conceal how much that low, satisfied, post-nap noise had affected him. “Don’t apologize. You must have been tired.”
Stella nodded, yawning. “I haven’t been sleeping too well.” She rubbed her eyes. “Should we get back?”
“If you want.”
Stella was looking out at the view from their little ledge. “Maybe in a few minutes,” she said finally. “Ken and Lynn will keep an eye on Eva. Not that she needs it.”
“She seems like a responsible kid.”
Stella nodded. “She’s more responsible than I am. She takes after Lynn more than me, I think—although Lynn was never into technology like Eva is. But the way she plans things, makes sure nothing’s going to go wrong before she makes a move...that’s Aunt Lynn through and through.”
“Must be nice not to have to worry about her,” Nate said tentatively.
Stella nodded slowly. “Yes, although—I don’t worry about her running wild, getting arrested or getting pregnant or into drugs or anything like that. But I worry sometimes that she’s too responsible. And that maybe it’s my fault, for not taking on that responsibility myself when she was little.”
“You don’t know that for sure,” Nate protested.
Stella sighed. “You didn’t know me when I was younger. I haven’t always been the greatest mom. Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent my entire life—so, her entire life—searching for a purpose. The right way to go.” She smiled a littl
e, but there was a tinge of regret to it, too. “Eva had to get really good at being my navigator, because I was always the one who’d say, ‘This looks pretty, let’s take this turn and see where it goes!’ And then we were lost, but Eva would always study the map and get us back on track. Too much responsibility to put on your kid, I think.”
“Sounds like you make a good team, though,” Nate offered.
Stella smiled, and he could see the love for her daughter shining through. “We really do. She grounds me, makes me remember to plan for what’s ahead, and I’m always trying to lighten her up, make sure she enjoys the moment. When she’s doing exams, she stresses out so much, I always do something to make her laugh. Silly hats, or little notes with jokes on them, or one-minute dance party breaks.”
“One-minute dance party breaks?” Nate asked, laughing.
Stella nodded, keeping a serious face. “Dance parties are very important.” Then the smile broke through. “You can’t neglect your important dance party duties.”
“Of course not.” Nate played along. “Don’t want to offend the gods of the dance party.”
She laughed, bright and sparkling. “That’s good! Next exam period maybe I’ll make a little altar for the dance party gods.”
Nate shook his head, smiling. “Sounds like you’re a good mom. I wouldn’t worry.”
Stella grimaced. “I hope so. And then next year she’s going to go to college, and I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“She’s planning on college? Good for her,” Nate approved.
“Yeah, although—well, I guess I do know what I’ll do next year, which is work my butt off to make enough money to pay for it. Part of it. As much of it as I can. It’s the least I can do, after dragging her all over the state for her whole childhood.”
“Sounds like an adventure to me,” Nate said. “And no mom who’s planning to devote her life to earning money for her kid’s education should call herself a bad mother.”
Stella smiled at him. “That’s sweet. I guess...we all do our best.”
“Angels can’t do better,” Nate said automatically, and then paused.