Distant Memory: She remembered everything (Solum Series Book 3)

by Colleen S. Myers

  Zara snorted. “Not much of a choice now, is it?

  I spoke over all the bickering. “Xade and Texxak are apparently fighting. I am not sure who is holding Finn anymore, but I do know that as soon as they are not distracted with one another, they will be coming here. Texxak all but told me that Xade knew we were here the whole time. He was toying with us, and by us, I mean the Fost, myself, and the Remains. Letting us have hope while he did his experiments. He might not have known where we were in this valley, but he knew of its existence, and he certainly knows we are here now. I fear the reason that Xade attacked was to try to get the Remains before Texxak did. That is why we have not seen more attacks like we were expecting.”

  Kasa asked, “What makes the Remains so important? Xade left you all here to die.”

  “I don't believe he had any intention of letting us die. Listen to me for a second. Xade let me go to find the village. When I found it, the magic was renewed, and it kept the E'mani out, at least in force, until Lara betrayed us. Once she was gone, we were still protected. Xade couldn't get in but for small forays, and he watched and waited. He followed me all the way here. He always knew we were here. He planned to get us all back, but then Texxak distracted him.”

  “Why didn't he take everyone back right at the start?”

  “He likes to toy with people. It is part of his fun. He wanted to see what we would do.”

  “So now that Texxak is here, Xade is not our enemy?”

  “The E'mani are our enemy— Xade, Texxak. Both.”

  “I say give them up,” Near said.

  My heart hurt at the admission.

  “That will never happen. One thing we are not and will not be is traitors.” Zanth crossed his arms and stared Near down.

  The words echoed around the room and from the nods, accepted. The lack of argument warmed my heart.

  “If we don't give us up. Then what?”

  Marin tapped his foot. “Do the Remains have any plans?”

  Roger cleared his throat and stepped forward. “As you all know, I have been working on something. I think I am close. Maybe in a few months, we will have a workable virus to use.”

  This was getting us nowhere. “We have two weeks.”

  Roger walked back on his heels. “That puts a new spin on it. I can accelerate the trials.”

  “What do you mean by accelerate?”

  “I was going to do animal trials first, but maybe we should just try it out on the E'mani.”

  “What do you mean?” The Fost muttered but no one made a comment beyond whispering. Their voices pulsed around me.

  “See how it affects them directly. Up until now you would not let me.”

  Oh god. “But…”

  “If we cannot give the Remains to the E'mani, I say go for it,” Zara piped in.

  Roger looked at me specifically through his glasses. I shifted from foot to foot. “What does that entail? What virus? I need more details.”

  Marin moved next to me. “We all need more information. We will not agree to anything more than that at this time. We are all agreed that the Fost will not give up the Remains, or anyone for that matter.”

  Zara walked out in a huff, Near hot on her tail.

  Erin huddled next to Dela and didn't answer. Prog stood next to Zanth and didn't comment.

  That was easier than I thought it would be, and harder at the same time. Nobody met my eyes as we left. Marin might think the discussion was over, but really, it was just beginning. Whether he liked it or not.

  Thorn inclined his head at me as I passed. Selmay moved to his side, and they followed behind us. I trailed behind Roger to the lab, stomach flipping.

  Could I do it? Be like Xade, experiment with lives? How close was the line, or had I already crossed it ages ago? I'd brought him Rezi after all. Did that make me just as bad? My steps lagged behind the others until Marin's hand on my waist snapped me out of my funk.

  “Stop.”

  “Stop what.”

  “Stewing.”

  “I remember a conversation like this before.”

  He squeezed my side. “So do I but this one shall end better.”

  “Why is it all right for us to come up with a virus to hurt people, yet I condemned Xade for the exact same thing?”

  “Xade didn't make the virus to protect anyone. He made it to conquer, to kill and observe. We are fighting for our survival. You know this. Never compare yourself to Xade. That is unfair to you, to me, to all of us.”

  I rolled my eyes. “How do you factor into this?”

  “You are not alone making these decisions, Elizabeth. I have tried to tell you this before. This is a group war and a group battle. Not the Beta war. We will decide as a group what needs done to protect us all, and when I say all, I am including you and the rest of the Remains.”

  Sighing, I let my head fall on his shoulder. “I can't help but feel responsible for all of this. My dad and mother cooperated with Xade. The events on Earth. Here. My family is involved in all of it. How can you still want me, knowing that?”

  Marin laughed and tightened his arm on my waist. “How could I not? You are mine, and I am yours. My heart is not dictated by your bloodlines. We will figure this situation out.”

  My hand slid along the skin exposed by his shirt. How did I get so lucky? I closed my eyes and let him pull me along, our hips bumping, until we stopped outside the lab.

  Having been to Texxak's place, I found the lab less ominous but just as alien to my eyes with its darts of red.

  Inside, I would have to make a choice, hopefully, one I could live with.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Today was the day to see what Roger had cooked in his lab. Rezi remained in his room. He'd made a little nest in the corner to sleep, curled up in a ball. His innocence touched me.

  My stomach churned. We were only giving him the flu. With medical support, he would be fine.

  Roger walked in and turned to the monitor to give me a thumbs up. I waved back automatically even though I knew he couldn't see me.

  Rezi scrambled up when he entered and smiled. Roger walked forward and put his arm around him. They walked toward the tube. The clone slowed, obviously not wishing to get in the bed. Roger’s arm tightened. He held up a syringe and the clone bucked. Roger quickly jabbed the needle into the clone’s arm.

  I put my hand over my mouth. This felt wrong.

  I watched as Rezi stumbled backward. He sneezed once, then again. Until he coughed and wheezed over and over. Roger moved closer but Rezi looked up and started screaming. His eyes had reds streaks coming from the corners. His nose bled.

  I hadn't even realized I stood until my nose hit the monitor as I crowded close.

  This was wrong. Roger and the clone stood highlighted in the room. Rezi gripped his throat and fell to his knees. Roger grabbed his arm and forced him up onto the tube platform and closed him into the glass case.

  I ran to the door without thinking. By the time I got inside, the tube had shut. Roger stood and tapped on the glass, recording I guessed.

  When I looked in, Rezi was a nightmare of blood, body convulsing, his mouth open. “What the hell did you do, Roger?”

  “Just the flu. It shouldn't have done this.” Roger tapped quickly on the glass, but I saw the smile on his face.

  “Why are you smiling?”

  Roger shrugged. “It is interesting, is it not?”

  “No, he is dying in there.”

  “Not dying. Remember, the quarum heals.”

  “He is suffering!”

  “He is fine. Look.”

  Rezi’s head raised toward the glass, banging off of it and falling back onto the hard surface.

  “That is not good!” I gestured to the wall.

  Roger went, “Huh.”

  I cried out and tried to open the tube. Roger grabbed the back of my shirt. “No, you can't go in there. We can't let the virus out.”

  His pudgy little arms held me back. The dude was surprisingly strong.<
br />
  Roger tapped on the glass and yelled. “Settle down. The tube will heal you.”

  Rezi craned his head around to look at us. Even as I watched, the whites of his eyes, bloodshot and wild at first, cleared. I twirled on Roger. “What was that?”

  “That should not have happened. I am not sure why he reacted that way.”

  Erin and Dela walked in behind us. I swung back to Roger after a glance. “Just like the hepatitis should not have happened.”

  “That was a miscalculation of the dispersal system.”

  “Ah, huh.”

  “What, pray tell, do you mean?”

  Erin piped up next to me. “Did you do it on purpose?”

  “Do what?”

  “Kill everyone, hurt the E'mani for hurting you. Make something infinitely deadlier to get back at them, mislead us. Choose your poison.”

  Roger’s chest puffed out. “I did none of those things, and I am surprised you would want me on your team, thinking that.”

  Dela crossed his arms.

  “I am telling you, I did not do this on purpose.”

  The zeal of his words translated to me. His hands clenched. “I have only tried to make things better, safer.”

  Maybe I’d misread him. His intentions were pure. Maybe he'd just been sucked into Xade's purpose. “I would understand if it was a mistake. Xade wanted to make things better as well.”

  “No, that is where you are wrong. Xade wanted to make things perfect. What he never realized is that there is no perfect. There is wonder in the difference between people and things. He made me search for that and a way to exploit that weakness, but I resisted him in any way I could. I tried. And I failed. That is why my wife died. I failed. I will not fail again. I will not fail the Fost, and I will not fail you. I promise you, Beta. I will create something to make this world safe again. I will make them all safe again.” Roger stated this then stormed to the staircase and out of sight.

  What was that about?

  “Do you believe him?” Erin asked bluntly.

  “I think I do.”

  Dela called from the controls. “Why isn't he recording what he is doing?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He’s not logging the experiments.”

  We both huddled behind him.

  “This doesn’t make sense. I saw him recording it, or well, fiddling with the computer. Why can’t we see what happened?”

  “So he can keep us from knowing what he was doing. Dang it. I knew we shouldn't trust him.” Dela slammed his fist on the desk.

  Erin made a peace gesture. “Hold on now. We don't know anything yet. I will talk to him and see what happened. We need Roger. He is the expert, not me. I can just tell gross mistakes, but not the fine-tuning of disease like he can. We need him.”

  Of course we did, and of course that would be when we lost him.

  Erin followed him downstairs while I hung over Dela’s shoulders as he worked. She flew back up the steps five minutes later. “Did Roger pass you?”

  “No, why?”

  “He isn’t downstairs.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you stupid? I meant exactly what I said. Roger is not downstairs.”

  “Well, he didn't come this way.”

  “He has to be down there.”

  We took off running, each taking a separate room.

  Empty.

  Even with everyone searching, there was no trace of Roger.

  That night in my room, I sat on my bed and watched Marin pull off his shirt.

  “So, Roger is gone?”

  “Yes. We looked all day, Thorn in coreck form and George. Dela thinks he might have headed to Bretylyn.”

  “He went back to Xade.”

  I nodded sadly. “He was a traitor. He went back to his master, I guess. The funny thing is I believed him when he said he hated Xade, but he loved the science even more. Enough so that when we started questioning what he was doing and saying, he ran back to his maker.”

  “Can Erin figure out what he was doing?”

  “She has a rough idea, but it turns out Roger was not recording his experiments. Which is odd. If he was like Xade, who reveled in the pain, he would make sure to record everything then watch the videos for hours and hours, over and over.”

  “You have seen Xade do that exact thing, have you not?”

  “Yes. That is why this makes no sense. No records. No malice. I thought I saw glee once, but now I realize it was not for suffering but for the idea of beating Xade. There is something wrong with this whole picture, and I can't figure it out.”

  “For now, let us relax. You have been on the road and, well, I need to be with you.”

  His words made me glance at him. “Oh really? How do you mean?”

  He yanked me upward hip-to-hip with him. “How do you think I mean it? I want my wife in my bed. I want her taking my manhood into her. I want her carrying my child.”

  At the last words, I pushed back. “I told you, no children until this is over.”

  “But this might never be over. This might end in our deaths, and I want to leave a little part of us behind. I want you to stop taking the poultice you made to prevent pregnancy, and I want you to have a child with me.”

  “No, Marin. We are just now getting back to where we were. Why are you pushing this now?”

  He snorted. “Why? Because you would not have any sort of life in your quest for revenge, and I do not want our family to be one of those things you sacrifice. I love you. I want to have a child with you. I want to move on from the hatred.”

  I sat on the bed. “That is impossible, Marin.”

  “Why?”

  So many whys all day long. “Because our enemy is still out there, and if we do this, we put the family we strive for in mortal peril right off the bat. The child will have no future and no choice.”

  “You cannot know that.”

  I threw my hands up. “I can.”

  “Mate me again.” He sank down onto one knee before me like a fairytale. “Please.”

  “I want that too.” I grabbed his hands and squeezed as if I could make him understand with pressure. “I asked earlier and you said no, and you were right to say no. This isn't the time.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because we have only a week left before Texxak comes for me and the Remains. We have no idea what we are going to do.”

  “Even more of a reason to embrace what love we can.” He accompanied his words with a brush of my cheek.

  “We need to find Roger and get Finn back.”

  “We do not know where they are.”

  “We think Bretylyn. We're going to hunt him down later.”

  Marin's forehead rested against mine. “Fine.” He tipped my chin up and our lips brushed. “But in the morning. Now you are mine.”

  I felt my lips tilt upward. “Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?”

  “Guess,” he said before he pushed me, and I flew backward onto the bed.

  “I love when you do that.”

  “I know.” He tugged off his vest an inch at a time, revealing his chest. That gorgeous chest and my sign on his arm. The proof we were meant to be. I loved looking at him. At the jatua our life and love imprinted on our bodies for all to see.

  “More,” I said as I pushed myself up the bed to give him room.

  He smiled and complied. His vest hit me in the face when he threw it off. I twirled in the air as I tugged my own shirt up and over my head, freeing my breasts.

  His eyes gleamed and he fell onto his knees, pushing my knees outward, and landed on top of me. “I love you so much.” Then he proceeded to show me just how much.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The forest lay silent as we walked to the lab a week later. Spring had arrived in earnest, some blue poking through the ash of the land around me. The scent of burgeoning growth overwhelmed the smell of ash. The path still gave me the willies, some innate sense warning me to stop, yet my own stupidity kept
me moving forward. I had felt like that a lot in my life so far.

  Marin laced his fingers with mine and tugged on my arm. “We will head to Bretylyn today. Once we get a map from Dela of the most likely spots, we will find Roger. There is nowhere he can hide. He does not have any food or water.”

  “If he went back to the E’mani, he doesn’t need them.”

  “Truth.”

  We separated at the door without a word. I loved that he could sense my need for silence.

  Dela waved vaguely from the desk as I ducked downstairs. There had to be a way to find Roger’s location; maybe he was downstairs and we missed him. That had to be it. I skipped down the steps two at a time and skidded to a stop.

  To my utter shock, Roger stood at the bottom of the steps, looking up at me. “Hi.”

  “Um, hi.” I rocked on the last step a second before bolting down and getting in his face. “Where have you been?”

  Roger backed up until his back hit the wall. “What do you mean?” he shoved his glasses up his nose. “I have been here.”

  “We looked for you all week.” A week I couldn’t afford. A week closer to meeting Texxak again and my father. Oh god, my father. My stomach twisted.

  “I was here.”

  “Where exactly?” I asked, my tone crisp.

  “In the labs.”

  “We looked all over here.”

  Roger shifted from foot to foot. “You never came to the bottom floor.”

  I rocked backward. “What bottom floor?”

  Roger blinked. “Right here.” He placed his palm directly across from the current doorway and pressed. With a hiss, the wall moved, and the stairway extended down another level.

  Holy shit. I pointed down below. “Why did you never tell us about this?”

  “You never asked. I thought you knew. This was where the experiments took place. The top level is for the administration, deployment. The second floor was for housing. The third is where the research was done. Did you never wonder? The rooms upstairs are quite different from those below.”

  The whole place seemed the same to me, but now that I thought about it, there were no tables upstairs. I assumed they retracted like the tubes. Silly me.