Hers to Protect

by Catherine Lanigan

  Clearly, Josh was dealing only with Trent. Another sign that her betrayal had sliced him deeply.

  Violet’s hands slid off her computer keyboard and landed in her lap. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She stared at the closed door.

  Trey walked up with a box of fresh doughnuts. “You gonna break your fast and try one?” he asked.

  She barely knew Trey was talking to her.

  He snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. “Hey. Doughnut?”

  “No. Thanks.”

  “Suit yourself.” Trey left and went to the break room.

  Violet was still staring at Trent’s closed door when Bob Paxton said to her, “Hawks, let’s go. I’ll drive.”

  “Drive?” She blinked at him and brought his face into focus. “What?”

  “You okay? You look pale. Blood sugar drop, huh?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “I got two doughnuts. You can have one of mine. Let’s roll.”

  She was so out of it she’d forgotten that Trent had instructed the team that they were on alert for a meeting between Josh and Miguel. She just hadn’t expected to see Josh at the station. Apparently, he was following through with his promise to Trent.

  Her heart tripped in her chest. Josh wasn’t a cop. He didn’t know how a bust like this could go wrong. He could get hurt. Or killed.

  She wanted to stop everything.

  Trent’s door opened slightly, and she could see Sal holding the door while still talking. She heard Josh say something, but she couldn’t catch the words.

  Clearly, it was too late. The die had been cast.

  “Hawks,” Bob urged, “get it together here. C’mon.”

  “Sure.” She grabbed her cell phone and followed him out the front door just as Josh walked out of Trent’s office.

  Josh didn’t call out to her. No words of any kind. He didn’t approach her from behind, but she could feel his eyes on her back.

  She remembered all too well how loving those eyes had felt only a week ago. She hadn’t slept in days, thinking about Josh’s kisses and how his face had lit up when she told him she loved him. It was all she could do to keep walking, get in the squad car and ride away from the station with Bob.

  Looking in the side-view mirror, she saw Trent and Sal get into Trent’s unmarked car. When Josh started to get into the backseat, he stopped and turned to watch Bob’s car leave the lot. Violet sucked in her breath. For a split second she almost believed that Josh had wanted to talk to her.

  She wanted to apologize to Josh, tell him that she should have handled everything between them differently and tell him once again that she loved him.

  It was too late. He wouldn’t believe her.

  * * *

  JOSH HAD NEVER worn a wire before. It felt incredibly invasive, but now that he had read all the reports from the Drug Task Force, including Violet’s, he realized that Miguel was no longer the kid he’d grown up with. A Chicago detective, Richard Schmitz, had found even more information on Miguel in the past week, verifying that he was so deep into the Mexican drug traffic system that Josh believed nothing he could ever say or do would persuade Miguel to leave the underworld. Until recently, Miguel was a petty dealer. Now he was gunning for the top position. Josh’s decision to help the cops as bait was drastic. But it had to be done.

  The one thing Josh knew about Miguel was that in addition to his jealousy of Josh, Miguel’s reigning motivation was greed.

  Josh’s only play was the Maserati.

  He still held the title to the car. He’d texted Miguel that he realized they lived in two different worlds. Josh told the truth when he said he didn’t want anything more to do with him. Nor did he want the Maserati, as it would always remind him of Miguel. He arranged to meet his childhood friend at the stone bridge and give him the title.

  Miguel had wanted to meet at night. Josh retaliated with a midday time. If Miguel didn’t comply, Josh reminded him that his contacts in the automotive world would find him the best “repo men” money could buy. Josh would get his car back.

  Josh stood on the stone bridge, the dappled sunlight through the trees glinting off the water below when Miguel drove up in the Maserati.

  Miguel got out of the car and motioned for Josh to come closer to the vehicle.

  Josh wasn’t sure where Trent and the team were positioned, but he knew they were close. As long as he stood close enough to Miguel to get his confession on tape, Josh would have done his job.

  He took a couple steps and halted. Every fiber in his body raised a caution flag. He braked. He pulled the title paper out of his white windbreaker jacket pocket. “It’s all yours, Miguel.”

  The man hesitated, shrugged his shoulders and walked toward Josh. Miguel was tall, the same height as Josh, but thinner and not as muscular. His black eyes tracked around the foliage and to the other side of the bridge, looking for lurking cops. Josh wasn’t sure if he was still doing drugs or if the stress of his lawless lifestyle contributed to his high-pitched jitters, nervousness and innate paranoia.

  Josh held out the title. “Drive it in good health,” he quipped.

  “Thanks, man.”

  Josh pulled the papers back. “One last thing, since I’ll never see you again. I just want to know—is it worth it?”

  Miguel burst into laughter. “Are you gonna preach to me?”

  “I’m curious. How much money? Say at the end of this year? What’s your personal take?”

  Miguel lifted his bushy eyebrow. “What? The racing business drying up for you, amigo?”

  “I never know.”

  “Over two million.”

  “And next year?”

  “Triple that. Then I get into your league.”

  “Amazing. Who’d ever have thought a little town like Indian Lake could bring that kinda dough.”

  Miguel shook his head. “This isn’t the big time. This is the way station.” He puffed out his chest. “My network’s primed to go to Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee. And Canada. Aw.” He pinched his fingers together, held them to his lips and kissed them. “Sweet.”

  Josh handed him the title. “Well, I just want to say I’m not proud of you.”

  “I could give a—”

  “Halt! Police!” Trent’s voice boomed across the parking area and he, Bob, Sal and Violet converged on them. Guns drawn, they were ready for anything.

  Miguel rolled his eyes. Then looked at Josh. “You son of—”

  Trent circled quickly and handcuffed Miguel. Violet began reciting the Miranda rights.

  As Violet walked with Trent and Miguel to Trent’s car, Josh stood on the edge of the bridge watching them leave.

  Sal turned to Josh. “You want to take off that wire now?”

  “Sure,” Josh replied.

  “I’ll drive us back to the station,” Sal said.

  “Thanks. Could you drop me at the McCrearys’? It’s time I packed up and went home.” The second he said the word, Josh felt his heart pinch and the pain lingered. For weeks he’d built a vision of a new life in Indian Lake.

  With my arms around Violet.

  He’d rushed into the romance like a teenager, not caring if he had blinders on. Even the fact that she’d kept her investigation a secret hadn’t caused him to stop trusting her completely. Not until she’d lied to him had his heart skidded right into this crash.

  “Home? To the McCrearys’?” Bob asked.

  “Home is Indianapolis,” Josh said sadly.

  Bob peered at him. “You were great. Not many guys I know would take such a risk. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you felt something for this town. And some people in it.”

  Josh looked up at the tall maple limbs shutting off his view of the sky. “I feel a lot of things.”

  “You know what they say? The heart knows what it needs.
Maybe you should listen.” Bob slapped his back.

  Josh heard an owl hoot. Had he been listening to his heart enough? Or had he been reasoning away what others would think was misplaced trust? Was it over between him and Violet? Was there still a chance?

  Sal Paluzzi walked over and put his hand on Josh’s shoulder. “We appreciate everything you did. Indian Lake owes you a debt of gratitude.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You really leaving town?”

  “I should.”

  “But you don’t want to.” Sal glanced at Violet as she closed the door to Trent’s unmarked car. “Takes guts—those big decisions.”

  “Yeah.” He looked down at the gravel under his shoes. This had been Violet’s secret place she said she’d never shared with another person. She said she’d wanted it to be theirs.

  “You’ll be missed,” Sal said.

  “Yeah? Well, I don’t think so. I’ll be movin’ on,” Josh said as Sal walked away.

  Josh walked to one of the squad cars and got in. He watched as Violet drove away in the passenger seat of Trent’s car. Then Bob and Sal got in the front seat.

  Josh had never been so aware of the chasm a short distance could be. As Violet and Trent’s car disappeared down the lake road, he realized he was alone again as if his time in Indian Lake had never happened.

  And the love he’d felt had only been a dream.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  VIOLET OVERSAW EVERY aspect of Diego Lopez/Miguel Garcia’s booking, interrogation and internment as was required by her duty as an officer of the law for the Indian Lake Police Department. The arraignment was set for nine the following morning.

  She typed her report and participated in a closed-door meeting with Chief Williams, Trent Davis, Sal Paluzzi and Bob Paxton. Several times she was given kudos for her work.

  Each time Chief Williams or Trent mentioned Josh’s name, she felt a stab to her heart. She’d made so many mistakes with Josh, she knew he’d have to be superhuman to forgive her.

  “That about wraps it up, team,” Trent said. “I want everyone here early. We’ll go en masse to the arraignment. Judge Clement is presiding.”

  Violet’s eyes widened as they rose from their chairs. She was the first out the door. She turned to Sal. “Isn’t Judge Clement the one whose...”

  “Son overdosed two years ago. Yeah.”

  “A hanging judge if ever I knew one,” Bob whispered. “See you in the morning.”

  Sal reached for Violet’s arm and pulled her toward his desk as Trent waved to them. “Can I have a word with you?”

  “Sure.”

  “Are you going to see Josh before he goes?”

  Violet’s mouth was instantly dry. “Goes?”

  “Yeah. He said he was going back to Indy. I thought you knew.”

  “No,” she replied lowly, feeling an immeasurable sadness grip her chest. He was leaving?

  “I was hoping you’d tell him how grateful we all are...”

  Violet tore away from Sal, grabbed her cell phone and keys from her desk. “I gotta go!”

  Violet ran from the building, did not take her car from the lot but shot across the street and down the sidewalk. She ran up the drive to the back of Mrs. Beabots’s house. She unlocked the back door and took the stairs two at a time, unbuttoning her uniform shirt as she sailed up the steps.

  She needed to come up with the apology of all time, and she had to do it as quickly as possible. She could only hope that Josh hadn’t left town already.

  * * *

  JOSH KNEW THERE was no arguing with women as Daisy and Katia glared at him with their hands on their hips.

  “You can’t drive to Indy by yourself,” Katia said. “The doctor...”

  “I hired a driver,” he said.

  “Well, you can’t leave on an empty stomach,” Daisy said. “I made all your favorites.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Honest to Pete, Josh,” Katia said. “You are so stubborn. And after the day you’ve had...”

  “That’s right,” Daisy added. “Saving the world is one thing, but I know it takes energy. You’ve barely eaten a full meal since you broke up with Violet Hawks.”

  “We didn’t break up.”

  “Oh? What was it then?” Katia countered.

  “Katia, in order to break up, you have to be a couple first. Apparently, I was a pawn in her bid for a promotion in her career.”

  “Josh Stevens, that is not true,” Violet said, walking onto the terrace dressed in a gauzy pink and lemon floral blouse, white skirt and white sandals. She’d brushed out her hair and taken the time to put on makeup.

  Austin walked up from behind Violet. “When I drove up, I saw her walking to the door. I figured you’d all be out here.”

  Austin motioned to Katia and Daisy with a jerk of his head. “Daisy, why don’t you get some drinks for our guests? Katia, sweetie, I’ll help with the bruschetta.”

  Katia smiled and went to Austin. She kissed him and took his arm. “Good idea.”

  Josh never took his eyes from Violet.

  The others had left the terrace, but their departure was a blur to him, like the cars that shot past him in a race when he knew he needed to slow down in order to make a decisive move.

  But right now, he didn’t know exactly what to say or how to say it. It was as if he’d been zapped back to that time when she’d worked magic on him, when she’d allowed him to believe that she cared about him. Josh. The guy who’d come to realize that most of life had passed him by. Until Violet.

  And then he’d discovered that she’d been using him all along.

  “It’s not true?” he asked.

  She took a step toward him, the summer breeze lifting the ruffles around the neckline of her blouse. Clouds scampered across the early-evening sky, promising pink and delivering amber. He’d been angry with her for days, but right now, he wanted to hear what she had to say.

  “I know it looks like I was out for myself, but there’s more to it than that.”

  “But you admit that some of it was true.”

  “Josh, everything I told you about my dreams and ambitions was true. I want to protect people from drug dealers like Miguel. I would be lying to you if I said that wasn’t me. It was me.”

  She came closer. He could smell flowers and spice. The scent of Violet, he thought. He took a small step toward her. It wasn’t much, but he felt it was good.

  “You have to know that I would lay down my life to protect you. Protect my family. I don’t care—”

  “I saw that.”

  “I know who I am. But at the same time, I can’t let you leave Indian Lake thinking that I’m your Judas.”

  “I did think that.”

  She took another step. He thought he’d drown in the sincerity in her eyes. “Go on,” he said.

  “I’m sorry for everything that happened. I’m sorry that you were put through any of this. You have been nothing but generous and kind to me. To just about every person you’ve met in Indian Lake. What you did, rather, are doing for Mrs. Beabots and Gina Barzonni with the foster child care center is nothing short of...of...astounding. I’ve never met anyone like you. You didn’t blink an eye when you volunteered to help.” She fluttered her hands in the air. “You told the truth and were innocent of wrongdoing all along, even when I and the rest of the ILPD suspected you. And then on top of all that, you risked your life to help with our arrest of Miguel. Josh, for heaven’s sake! You could have been killed!”

  “But I wasn’t.”

  She peered at him. “This guy was packing and we knew that.”

  “So did I.”

  “How could you do that? You’re not a trained cop!”

  He shuffled his left foot and touched his sling. “I had faith.”

  “In a drug deale
r?”

  “In the kids he and I once were. It was a crazy notion, but it worked.”

  “And what if it hadn’t?”

  He shrugged his good shoulder. “I woulda lost.”

  “Don’t joke about something like that.”

  “I wasn’t joking. It was the same kind of feeling I have when I race. If I’m meant to win, I will.” He paused. “You on the other hand, were a different risk.”

  Violet dropped her eyes for a moment and when she lifted them, he knew he saw tears this time. One fell to her cheek. This time he guessed they wouldn’t dry.

  “Violet...”

  She held up her palms. “Don’t... Josh. I could use the excuse that I was under orders to follow you, meet with you and to stay by your side—”

  “And tell me you love me?” he interrupted.

  “No. Not that. I never deceived you, and I will never deceive you. I loved you.”

  He stopped cold, feeling his heart turn to ash. “You don’t love me now?”

  “I didn’t say that,” she replied. “I meant that I loved you with all my heart when I said that I did. Even if you leave here now and you never want to see me again, I’ll always love you.” She hesitated. “I found out that’s how love works. I can’t turn it off.”

  One more step and he’d reach her. If he touched her, he knew there would be no turning back for him. “Violet.” He put his right hand over his heart. “I hurt. In here. And that’s never happened to me before. I’ve been so mad at you. You can’t imagine how angry I was. But when you drove away from the lake last night, I don’t think I ever felt so alone. I realized that being angry with you was about the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. And I found I can’t stay mad at you for long, it seems. Apparently, my love for you is strong and stubborn.”

  Her tears were flowing down her cheeks now, but she didn’t seem to know they were there. “I know what you mean.” She looked at him with eyes so caring, he wanted to comfort her. But he had things to say.

  “Violet, of all the people I’ve known, you were the only one who saw me. I wanted an ‘us.’ I knew that taking you to the car museum and telling you I loved you in that antique car...”