Eternal Desire

by Kim Loraine

  Izzy

  “What is happening to me?” I groan. For the last few days I’ve been on edge, cagey, and unlike myself. Not to mention, I can’t use magic. Not even a little bit, and when I try, I feel like death on a bad day. Nauseous, chilled, and weak.

  “I hate to say it, but I think you’re knocked up or something.” Helena doesn’t meet my eyes, but there’s a serious note of apology in her voice.

  “What?”

  “You’ve been sick at least twice today. And we all know you two were going at it like bunnies. I’d be surprised if he hadn’t filled you with his little beasties.”

  I shake my head. “Hel, I’m not pregnant. I know that for a fact. One-hundred percent.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “Well, maybe it’s something to do with your bite.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re changing into a shifter. Your body can’t handle the warring types of magic. Witch magic and shifter magic are two very different things. Our powers are elemental. Grant’s are given by the moon.”

  “That’s not possible. I’ve always been a witch. Ever since I turned sixteen and was granted my powers, I’ve had magic. This is not happening.”

  She sighs and twists a long strand of hair around her finger. “I think it is. Or, you’re carrying his pup.”

  “Bugger!”

  Tamiel strides into the room, one of Gwen’s freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in his hand. “Bugger, what?”

  “She’s not able to use her magic. I told her I think it’s because she’s changing into a dog.”

  He shakes his head. “That’s not it at all.” He takes a bite and chews while pondering. “Well, I suppose it’s partially right.”

  Helena sighs before rolling her eyes. “You are the most frustrating being I’ve ever met.”

  “Thank you, love. I’m glad to have made a lasting impression.” He places a palm on my forehead and closes his eyes. “You haven’t lost your powers. They’re dormant at the moment though.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if your witchy side decides to fight with your beastly side, that would be bad.”

  “Bad how?”

  “It will kill you and take your mate with you.”

  I really hate this. My power had just started edging toward full strength and then that bastard mate of mine had to go and bite me. No matter how hot it was, I’m a witch. Not a bloody shifter. And, in all honesty, the thought of Grant dying because of me makes my heart want to break to pieces. Maybe I can save him and at least buy myself more time. “How can we stop it?”

  Tamiel takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger and stares at me as he ponders my question. “Well…I think I can help, but I’ll need a few things. And the help of your lovely sister witches, of course.”

  “Fine. What do you want?” I say, stepping back a little too quickly.

  “I need your blood, something of your mate’s, and a lock of your hair.”

  Helena gasps before looking at me. “A spell. Are you sure we can trust a fallen angel with something like that?”

  I shrug. “What else can we do?” Turning to Tamiel, I lock eyes with him. “If you fuck this up, I’ll have your wings.”

  “Not possible. My Father took those millennia ago. Now, go get me what I need.”

  With a slight nod, I rush up the stairs and rummage through my room in search of the soft T-shirt I’d forced Gwen to conjure for me to sleep in when we arrived here. It smells like Grant, and God help me, I needed something to get me through the nights without him.

  Tamiel and Helena sit on the couch with candles placed in a star pattern on the coffee table in front of them. I toss the shirt at the angel and take a seat opposite them. The soft sound of Gwen’s footfalls has me turning to watch her walk in from the kitchen. She’s got a dagger in her hand and a concerned expression on her lovely face.

  “Are you sure about this, Izzy?”

  I nod. “He can’t die because of me.”

  Holding out my palm, I wait for her to slice across it, but she takes the wicked sharp blade and removes a small section of my blond waves first. Then, with a quick flick of her wrist, my palm is bleeding into the silver bowl in the center of the formation of candles.

  Tamiel nods at her, and Gwen drops my hair into the bowl as well before joining hands with him and me. When he places Grant’s shirt into the bowl as well, my heart sinks. That was all I had of him and I know now it will be gone in a moment. Helena takes my free hand and smiles sadly, but also gives a reassuring nod. Then, the angel links his palm with Helena’s and the room goes dark. We sit in silence for long minutes but there’s a decidedly strong pull of power running through us. Tamiel sighs and a soft golden glow emanates from his skin. Then, he begins speaking in ancient Enochian, the language of the angels. Something I’ve never been able to fully understand, but by the flare of sudden fire in the bowl and the wrenching pain in my heart, I know his spell has worked.

  Opening his eyes, Tamiel stares at me. “It is done.”

  “What?” Helena asks, dropping his hand like it’d bitten her.

  I have to try twice before I can get the words out. “He…he severed the mating bond. Grant is free of me.”

  20

  Grant

  I’ve found her. The cottage is quaint and small, perfect for three sisters who want nothing but normal lives. A smart place to hide, unless a shifter pack is searching for you. Her scent calls to me, the magic in her blood that is going to make her like me like a homing beacon. I don’t want to see her like this, though, changed into the beast who ruined her. Shifting, I frown down at my naked form, but there’s nothing to be done about it. Hopefully she’ll be able to conjure me up some clothes. Clothes she’ll be taking off me before I claim her again tonight.

  Glancing in the window, I nearly throw myself through the glass to get at her. She’s right there, within reach, and so fucking beautiful I can’t breathe. But then my gut turns to stone and rage colors my vision red. A man. A handsome man, smiles at her and takes her chin between his fingers before giving her a longing look. I can’t hear a word they’re saying. Damn it all. But he says something and she darts for the stairs. Has she moved on from me already? She’d said she couldn’t be mated to me. Maybe this is her way of trying to make herself believe the lie.

  I have to talk to her, to make her see reason. Shifting once again, I run at breakneck pace back to the inn. This is a conversation made for grand gestures and declarations. I can’t do that naked. Once I reach my stashed clothing, I dress in a rush, desperate to get back to her. I’ll be damned if some pretty-boy with angelic good looks is going to swoop in and take her from me.

  A searing pain takes hold in my chest, ripping through my entire being as though I’ve been set on fire. I nearly fall to my knees from the agony. Everything turns to ice in my veins almost as quick as the pain started. I know exactly what happened. I can feel the absence of her like my soul has been ripped from my body. The mating bond has been broken. Izzy is gone. She’s dead, she must be, but I’m still alive. How is that possible?

  With my heart a cold stone in my chest, I rush to the car and head for her. I will kill whoever took her from me. Hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles are white, I speed along the narrow streets of the town until I find the area her cottage is in. The minutes seem like hours, but the small house near the cliff’s edge finally comes into view. I barely give myself time to park the damned car before I’m out and running full tilt at the front door.

  My beast is barreling down on me and my control is slipping as I kick open the painted blue wood and burst inside. “Where the bloody hell is my mate? What have you done to her?”

  I stare at the faces of Helena and Gwen, both meeting my gaze with haunted eyes. Then my focus swings to the tall man standing near the wood burning stove.

  “You,” I growl, rushing him with my fist raised, ready to pummel the bastard. “You killed her. What are you doing here? Did Lachl
an send you?”

  I throw the punch, but it doesn’t connect with his face, instead I’m immobilized. Pressure like nothing I’ve ever known takes hold of my head, and I fight for the ability to move.

  “Calm yourself, shifter. You can’t win against angelic grace,” the arsehole says.

  He releases me from the spell and I step back. “Angelic grace?”

  “He’s a fallen,” Helena supplies.

  “Where’s Izzy? I can’t feel our bond. The only explanation is that she’s gone. What happened?” I ask, my words breaking as grief claws its way up my throat.

  “It’s broken.” Izzy’s voice sends immediate relief through me, and I swing my gaze to the stairs where she stands with the most beautifully heartbreaking expression on her face. “We’re not mates anymore, Grant. Leave.”

  “What? No. I’m not leaving you. You’re crazy if you think that’s going to happen.”

  Tears pool in her eyes. “The change is going to kill me. Which means it’ll take you too if we’re mated. Tamiel severed the mate bond. You’re free.”

  Frustration makes me ball my fists and let out a growl. “I don’t want to be free. Damn you crazy witch. I’m yours. You can’t just cut me out.”

  “I can if it means keeping you alive.”

  “What about breaking the curse? Finding Calista? Did you know that she’s the one who hired my pack? She’s afraid of you. She knows you’re close to killing her.”

  A flicker of something akin to hope burns in her eyes for a moment. “It doesn’t matter. The full moon is in three more nights. I likely won’t survive the change.”

  “I can help you through it. I’ll see to you.”

  “No, Grant. Stop this. Let me go.”

  I can’t believe she’s doing this. I’ve told her more than once, I won’t want to live without her. “No. You’re mine.”

  She steps toward me, lip quivering as though fighting a sob, and cups my cheek in her small hand. My heart leaps when she presses her lips to mine and then she backs away. Helena stands before me now, her startling copper irises lock onto mine and she begins to sing.

  Izzy

  Helena’s siren song winds itself around Grant’s heart, I know it because of the dazed look in his eyes. For once, I’m thankful for this curse and for my sister’s ability to use it on him. She’ll make him forget me. Make him leave and stay safe.

  “Grant,” she says, her voice a hypnotically low timber. “Listen to everything Izzy tells you. You have to obey.”

  He nods, but his brow furrows. God, he’s strong-willed. “I will.”

  I take a shuddering breath, but cup his face in my hands and force him to look at me. “You’re going to leave this place. Go home, sleep. You never found me. You never fell for me. I don’t exist. When you wake, you’ll have no memory of our time together. There’s a mate out there for you, but she is not me.”

  Another frown, but he nods.

  I continue, trying desperately not to cry. “Now, leave and don’t look back for me.”

  He does as I say, his posture stiff and I watch until he’s in his car, driving away. Heaving a sigh, I fall to my knees and finally let the sobs come. My sisters come to me, both wrapping gentle arms around me as I let out all my despair for the life I could’ve had were it not for my destiny.

  “I’m so sorry, Izzy,” Gwen murmurs into my hair.

  “You did right,” Helena says.

  I sniff and carefully extricate myself from their grasps. “You both need to leave before the moon tomorrow. I won’t be safe to be around. I know enough about shifters to understand the first change is the most dangerous. If I survive, I may attack you.”

  Tamiel clears his throat when Helena moves to protest. “She’s right. I’ll stay and see her through it. Go somewhere nearby, but don’t leave your room. Grant’s pack must know you’re here if he found you.”

  “We’re not stupid. Of course we know they must’ve been tipped off about us. We’ll head toward Belfast. Izzy, meet us there after your change.” Helena grips my hands and forces me to look at her. “You will meet us after. I’m not going to accept anything different.”

  I have to blink back tears because I know she’s wrong. I feel it in my bones. Gwen already said the moon will be my end. She’s right. But, I nod and offer a weak smile. “Damn right. I’ll see you soon, Hel.”

  Gwen pulls me in for a crushing embrace, her strength surprising me. “I’ve never been more proud of you than I am right now. What you did for Grant was the most selfless thing I’ve seen. You must really love him.”

  Shaking my head, I give her a squeeze. “Let’s not talk about that now. I need to know you’ve gotten safely away.”

  She nods and steps back before taking Helena’s hands and turning to face Tamiel. “Thank you, angel.”

  He grins and shrugs. “I’m just doing my job.”

  “Well, you did a fine one.” Helena’s words surprise us all. “Gwen’s right. Thank you.”

  The angel’s grin turns to a smirk. “I knew I’d win you over.”

  “Don’t get cocky.”

  She closes her eyes and Gwen follows suit, the both of them vanishing from view as they transport themselves to safety.

  “She’s a handful,” Tamiel says.

  “Completely. Always has been. I wouldn’t get your hopes up for her, though. She’s been burned and I know she’ll never let herself get in a situation like that again.”

  “I like a challenge.”

  “She’s more than that.” I think back to Helena’s history, to the legend surrounding her greatest love who ended up being her greatest betrayal. “She’s ruined for love.”

  His eyes narrow before he closes them and takes a long breath. When he looks at me again, it’s obvious he’s done talking about Helena. “I need to hunt. Tomorrow will be difficult. You’ll need me to be strong if you’re going to survive.”

  The angel leaves without another word, the click of the door as it shuts sounding like a nail in my coffin.

  21

  Izzy

  Everything hurts. My skin is too small, too tight, and every movement makes my head swim with nausea. With every day, every hour that passes, the beast inside my head presses forward, begging for freedom, but my witch side holds it back. White hot pain lances my head as burning agony races through my veins and I collapse to the floor. I scream and writhe, desperate for my suffering to end, hoping the wave of fire will wane. It doesn’t. The moon rises and my two natures battle while I’m powerless to stop it from killing me.

  “Izzy, love. You have to control it. Take slow breaths, work to calm your pulse.” Tamiel’s voice is far away, but when I open my eyes, he’s right in front of me, hands on my shoulders, gaze determined.

  Something between a scream and a sob tears from my throat while I try to do as he tells me. “I can’t.”

  His cool palm presses against my forehead, soothing me. “I didn’t want to do this, but if it’s the only way…”

  Everything goes dark and I still. Until a soft golden light catches my eye. It’s then I realize I’m not in the cottage anymore. I’m standing in a blank place filled with nothing but dark and that one small light. Nothing hurts, nothing is burning me. Have I died? This has never happened before when the curse has taken me, but there’s a first time for everything. Turning around, I search the space for something other than the light. Something tangible. My heart nearly gives out when I see myself standing in a beautiful gown, the one I wore when I first met Tristan all those lifetimes ago, when I gave up being a witch because I thought I’d found true love.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask myself.

  She smiles. “Fighting.”

  Frowning, I look behind me but see nothing. “Fighting what?”

  A low growl hits my ears, the sound rumbling through me as though I’m the one making it. The brush of coarse fur against my fingertips has a chill running up my spine. “Holy shit,” I yelp, jumping away from the enormous white wol
f circling me. It stares as it paces, the beast’s copper colored eyes a mirror of mine.

  “Fighting you. Your beast.”

  “I can’t stop it,” I say.

  The woman I used to be shakes her head and sighs. “I know. But you want to. So, I fight.”

  The wolf growls again, this time crouching as if preparing to lunge. In a blur of white, it leaps and collides with her. She doesn’t scream, or even cry out. Instead, a pulse of magic radiates from her, blasting the beast a full five feet away. Blood trickles down her gown from a wound on her shoulder, but she stands tall.

  Pain burns on my shoulder in the same spot of her injury and when I touch my fingers to my skin, they come away wet with blood. The wolf has gotten up and is pacing once again, but this time with a limp in its hind leg. My own ankle throbs. Instead of circling me, the animal growls and its ears flatten as it bares its teeth, focus never leaving the woman in front of me. There’s no fear in her eyes as she stares the dangerous creature down. A white ball of flame builds in her palm. I know that spell very well. It will burn anything it touches to a cinder.

  “Stop!” I cry, panic gripping my heart.

  I thrust my hands out toward them both, harnessing my power until I hold them each in bonds of magic. The wolf snaps and writhes, but the woman stays still, not resisting. She locks eyes with me and it hits me with the force of a bloody hurricane—knowledge. My arms ache from the resistance of the two beings I have bound. Bringing my hands closer, I watch them grow nearer to each other with every motion I make. The wolf glows, surrounded by a blue light and the witch shimmers with deep red power. A scream tears from my throat at the burn in my muscles, but I persist. Knowing this is the only way to end the fight. The blue melds with the red, turning a brilliant purple as their energy combines and the wolf melds with the witch.