To My Future Number 1 Fan

by L. A. Witt

  I squirmed in my chair. All this speculation and attention made my skin crawl. It was exactly the kind of thing that had scared me into calling things off with Adam. Now, in the thick of it again and facing the prospect of leaving through that crowd of cameras, I wasn’t going to deny that I was having second thoughts. Could I really put up with this? Was it something I could handle?

  But when those questions started swarming, all I had to do was look up and find Adam, and… yeah. Yeah, I could do this. If it meant having Adam in my life, I would happily put up with this much and more.

  After a few long hours, the director announced it was a wrap. Instantly the set was alive with activity as the crew shut everything down for the night.

  Adam slipped out for a moment, and when he came back, he’d changed into some weathered jeans and an old Erasure T-shirt. With a smile that was equal parts sweet and nervous, he said, “Ready to go?”

  Oh God yes. Oh, fuck—they’re out there. Maybe we should wait a—no, let’s go. Now.

  I swallowed. “Whenever you are.”

  He nodded, and as we headed for the door, even Adam seemed to be steeling himself, so at least it wasn’t just me.

  Just before we stepped out into the cooling evening, he laced our fingers together. I glanced down, then at him. His smile was way more nervous now, but hopefully mine was reassuring, especially as I squeezed his hand.

  And then, hands clasped together, we continued out to where the press was still waiting.

  At the moment, they were distracted by Adam’s costar, pointing their lenses right in her face and firing flashes until she had to be blind. Voices barked from every which direction, but they were all one on top of the other, so I couldn’t understand anything beyond the upward lilts that indicated questions.

  She kept her head down, and the tightness in her shoulders was visible from here. I suppressed a grimace. Shana Davis was a Hollywood veteran. A child star who’d managed to hold onto her sanity and her career enough to continue into her thirties, and even she clearly didn’t like the barrage of attention after a long day at work.

  Before Shana had even cleared the cluster of paparazzi, one of them saw Adam, and suddenly all eyes and lenses were on us. I very nearly balked, but Adam kept walking, so I stayed with him. The reporters parted enough to let us walk through single file, and I kept a firm grip on Adam’s hand. Letting him lead, I ducked my head and talked myself through it. In the middle of it, the voices were even more overwhelming and impossible to understand. Some flashes went off so close to my face that I saw spots.

  And just like that, we made it out on the other side. I couldn’t help sucking in a breath of fresh air.

  “Sorry about that,” Adam said. “Occupational hazard.” His tone was light but guarded. Like he wanted to make a joke about it but was also worried about drawing my attention to it.

  “I know it is. It’s also the price for you not being a miserable waiter anymore, and it’s the price for me not being miserable without you.”

  He turned to me, eyes wide and lips apart.

  We both stopped, facing each other, and despite the paparazzi’s presence tingling on the back of my neck, I cupped his neck in both hands. “I love you, Adam. Those jackasses aren’t going to scare me away from you again.”

  His stunned expression turned to a smile, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. Eyes flicking from mine to my lips, he whispered, “You know this is going to be all over the internet tomorrow, right?”

  “Yeah.” I grinned. “Question is, do you want the whole world to see me kissing you in public again?”

  He swallowed. “Is that a roundabout way of asking if you should kiss me right now?”

  “Maybe.”

  Adam returned my grin. Then he pushed himself up on his toes and kissed me. I was distantly aware of voices and snapping cameras, but… I just didn’t care. If I’d had any doubts that I could handle the media watching us, they disappeared right then and there. The media attention was stressful, and people would have opinions about it, and I didn’t think there would ever come a time when it didn’t bother me, but I could handle it if it meant being with him.

  He broke away, and his eyes didn’t dart for even a second toward the people and cameras. “Think we should go someplace a little less public?”

  I smoothed his hair and didn’t look anywhere but right at him. “Sounds good to me.”

  ~*~

  One click of the deadbolt, and the whole rest of the world was locked outside. No reporters. No cameras. No rumors. Just me, Adam, and all the pieces of clothing that were landing on the carpet at our feet.

  And then… cool sheets under my back. Adam’s warm, naked skin against mine as I pulled him down into a hungry kiss. His flawless planes and angles under my palms as I slid my hands all over him like I could memorize his body just by touch.

  Adam dipped his head, and the instant his lips brushed my throat, I thought I was going to lose it. The softness of his kisses and the hot rushes of his breath made my skin break out in goose bumps, and I tilted my head as far as I could so he could find every inch of my neck.

  “Jesus,” I whispered.

  His lips curved into a grin just beneath my jaw. “Love it when you’re this turned on.”

  “Mmm, me too. Question is…” I slid my hands down over his ass. “What are you going to do with me?”

  “So many options,” he purred. “What I really want”—he nipped the side of my neck—“is for you to fuck me.”

  “Oh God. Yeah.”

  Adam pushed himself up and gazed down at me. “I want you on top,” he breathed. “Just… just like the first time.”

  I shivered at the memory of pressing him down into the mattress, covering his entire body with mine, and sliding in and out of him until we’d both fallen apart. “That sounds perfect.”

  He lifted himself all the way off me and started to turn over, but paused. “Wait, do we have condoms?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded toward my bag. “And lube.”

  Adam eyed me playfully. “You were optimistic, huh?”

  “I… well…” I cleared my throat as I sat up. “Just wanted to be prepared in case things worked out, right?”

  “Smart. Good thing, too, since they did work out.”

  “Mm-hmm, they did.” I kissed him quickly, and then got up to get my bag. I’d wondered if I was jinxing myself, making sure I had everything with me on that off chance we found ourselves in bed, but I’d brought them anyway. Thank God.

  As I rolled on the condom, I let my gaze slide over Adam’s gorgeous naked body. He’d put a pillow under his chest and wrapped his arms around it, and somehow that made his back and shoulders look even sexier. Or maybe that was just because he was lying there waiting for me to fuck his beautiful ass.

  He looked at me over his shoulder, eyes bright with a hunger that was as intense as my own. “C’mon. What are you waiting for?”

  “Just taking in the scenery.” I climbed onto the bed and planted a kiss between his shoulders, which earned me a gasp and a shiver. “You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

  “Mmm, you’re too sweet. Now fuck me, damn it.”

  I barked a laugh and kissed his back again. “Give me a second.” I put some lube on my fingers, and as I gently worked them inside him, I watched him respond. His muscles rippled and he buried his face in the pillow he was holding, groaning softly. I had no doubt he was impatient for my cock, but he didn’t just put up with this part to avoid pain—he always seemed to enjoy it. His little moans and the catches of his breath didn’t sound in the least bit like frustration. When I bent my fingers just right to slide over his prostate, a shiver went through his entire body as he murmured, “Fuck.”

  I could have done this all night, and I had a feeling he’d have let me, but my dick desperately needed some attention. As I slid my fingers free, he moaned in protest. That protest evaporated when he looked over his shoulder again and zeroed in on me stroking lube onto my cock.
/>
  “I think you’re ready for me,” I said.

  “Oh yeah.” Adam spread his thighs wider. “You better believe it.”

  I leaned down again and kissed the back of his neck as I positioned myself over him. He swore into the pillow, and I swore into his hair as body heat radiated from his skin to mine. I’d been turned on before, hadn’t I? Other nights? Other men? I was sure I had, but right now, this felt like completely uncharted territory. There was no way I’d ever been this attracted to someone, this turned on by someone, or this in love with someone, never mind all three at the same time.

  And as I eased my cock into his tight hole, I thought I might pass out from the sheer intensity of all these sensations, physical and otherwise. In the days since we’d broken up, I hadn’t even wanted sex. Not with him or anyone else. Now it was like I’d been starving for it, and I couldn’t get enough, and at the same time, I wasn’t sure I could handle even a fraction of this. None of it made sense, but who cared? I was fucking Adam. He was taking me easily and eagerly, murmuring pleas for more and faster and harder. My entire world revolved around him and this and us.

  I can’t believe you’re here.

  Holding him tight, fucking him slowly, I took in a deep breath of his scent through my nose. He really was here. The man I’d loved and stupidly lost was here, and after being way too far apart, we were as close as two men could possibly get, and it was perfect.

  “You feel so good,” he breathed. “Christ, Brian…”

  “So do you. I missed this.”

  “Ungh. M-me too. Missed you.”

  I groaned in agreement and slid my hands under his chest, then hooked them over his shoulders for leverage. As I rode him harder, Adam whimpered, I breathlessly asked, “This too much?”

  “No. Fuck.” He arched up against me. “More.”

  “More?” I grinned, letting my lips brush his neck. “You sure you—”

  “Please. More.”

  Gritting my teeth, I gave him more, slamming into him as hard as this position allowed, and his choked cries were the sexiest sounds I’d ever heard. I wanted more—needed more—and gave him as much as I could. Dizzy, half delirious, I buried my face against his neck, savoring the brush of his beard against my lips, and moaned, “God, I love you.”

  He whimpered, shivering under me. “Love… love you too.”

  I kissed the side of his neck and thrust harder, driving another helpless cry out of him.

  “Jesus, Brian…” He sounded like he was sobbing. “I’m gonna come.”

  “Yeah?” I nipped his shoulder. “Don’t hold back, baby.”

  Before I’d even finished speaking, he cried out, clenching around me, and I drove into him as my own orgasm crashed through me. I couldn’t get deep enough, but I damn sure tried, and he kept bucking against me until we both shuddered, sighed, and relaxed.

  I pulled out but didn’t get up yet. For a moment, I just needed to hold him close while we both caught our breath. The heat of his skin and the pounding of my heart told me this was real. It wasn’t a dream. In a moment of panic, I’d walked away from Adam, and not only had I found my way back to him, he’d taken me back.

  Closing my eyes, I kissed the side of his neck.

  The press could take as many pictures as they wanted. They could concoct any wild story they could think of about what it meant when we exchanged a certain look or stood close together. They could say what they wanted about Adam deserving better. I didn’t care anymore.

  Because here, with Adam in my arms, I was home.

  Chapter 37

  Adam

  Prior to Brian, I’d never had a lot of physical contact with a man. Nothing sexual or even affectionate. I’d gone my entire life without any of that, and most of the time I’d known Brian, we’d been too many miles apart for any of it.

  But lying with him now in my hotel room, it was like we’d been doing this all along, and stopping for a couple of weeks had left me aching for it. I didn’t care if we had sex again tonight. I wasn’t even sure I had the energy for another round after a long day on set. As long as Brian didn’t let go of me, though, I was perfectly happy.

  He combed his fingers through my hair like he always did. I loved that. It was almost hypnotic, especially the way his nails dragged gently across my scalp.

  “That feels nice,” I murmured.

  “Yeah?”

  “Mm-hmm. Might put me to sleep though.”

  He chuckled. “You’ve had a long day. If you need to sleep, sleep.”

  “I should eventually.” I shifted onto my elbow so I could look in his eyes. “But I’m not ready to crash yet.”

  Brian smiled, watching his fingertips drift down my arm. After a moment, some concern furrowed his brow. “I, uh, didn’t get you in trouble with your bosses, did I?”

  I laughed softly and shook my head. “No. In fact, Sam said I could bring you to the set every day if it meant I also brought my A game.”

  “I’m pretty sure that could be arranged. When I’m not working, I mean.”

  “Yeah, well, just don’t come when we’re filming sex scenes.” I made a face. “It’s awkward enough without my boyfriend watching.”

  Brian chuckled. “I’ll just wait for you at home so we can have the real thing without all the cameras and awkwardness.”

  “Ooh, now I like the sound of that arrangement.”

  “Kind of figured you would.”

  We both grinned, and then he tipped up my chin for a long, soft kiss. Not one that promised to get us started again, but one of those sweet, indulgent kisses I’d been hooked on since day one. Yet another thing I hadn’t realized I’d been missing this much.

  When we separated, though, the humor had faded from his expression, replaced by uneasiness.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I just…” His eyes flicked away. “I still feel like such an asshole for breaking things off with you.”

  “You shouldn’t. I’m sorry everything was so overwhelming for you, and I wish there was more I could do to fix it. At least, you know, being there to go through it with you instead of just texting.” I watched my fingertip trail along his jaw. “Being with me means…” I sighed, too exhausted to even form the words.

  “You don’t have to be sorry about all that.” Brian pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. “It’s just the way it is. Your job means long hours sometimes, and being with you means the paparazzi are a thing. Being with me means dog hair on everything you own is a thing.”

  I laughed. “I could think of worse things than a few dog hairs on my stuff.”

  “Me too.” He smoothed my hair and looked in my eyes. “Like not being together.”

  “I could really get used to this sappy side of you, by the way.”

  He laughed, and no, I didn’t think I would ever get tired of how cute he was when he blushed.

  Still, I hadn’t shaken the uneasiness that had lingered after we’d talked in the dressing room. “What about the messages you get from people?” I grimaced. “I don’t know what to do about those.”

  Brian sighed. “I don’t know either. I’ve locked down a lot of my accounts so only people I know can contact me. And I make a point of not reading comments anymore. The thing is, I can’t stop people from saying horrible shit, and I can’t stop them from sending that horrible shit to me.” He touched my face. “But letting that stop me from being with you? I can’t do that.”

  “I just hate—”

  “I know you do. So do I. I mean, it sucks. It’s ridiculous that people think they deserve access to your private life, or that anyone has an opinion on us.” He paused. “Ironically, though, all those assholes are the reason I broke down and came here.”

  That caught me off-guard. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean…” He chewed his lip, then took a deep breath. “I’d been thinking about it a lot. How bad it hurt not being with you. And then…” He sighed before meeting my eyes. “Someone got that picture of you
in your car.”

  I flinched. “Oh. That one.”

  “Yeah. It pissed me off at first because it was just another incident of them violating your privacy. But then I started really thinking about how much you must have been hurting right then.” He stroked my cheek. “How much I’d hurt you.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered. “It gets overwhelming for me too, so I don’t blame you.”

  “Maybe not, but you were still hurting because I broke things off.”

  I pursed my lips. It wasn’t like I could deny it, but I didn’t want him to keep blaming himself after everything that had pushed him to that edge. “In your shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. The important thing is that you’re back now.”

  Brian hesitated, but finally cracked a smile as he watched himself run a fingertip down my cheek. “I had to come back. I missed you. And yes, I know, we’ve got a lot working against us. The press. Being in a long distance relationship.”

  Frowning, I said, “My work schedule.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do this. We’ll just have to take it a day at a time and be patient with each other.”

  “I can do that. I can definitely do that.”

  “Me too.”

  We both grinned, and I drew him down enough to brush our lips together. “I love you. And I’m really glad you came back.”

  “I love you too, baby.” He cradled the back of my head and kissed me deeply. Tenderly. Hungrily. As he rolled me onto my back, I ran my fingers through his hair, exactly the way he always did with me. His hips settled on mine, and I hummed into his kiss and shivered as our cocks started hardening between us.

  How about that?

  Turned out I had enough for another round after all.

  Epilogue

  Brian

  Two Years Later.

  “Maybe next time we should just bite the bullet and get dressed in the limo.” I brushed a few more strands of dog hair off my pant leg as the car inched along the congested boulevard. “Or get a hotel room.”