by Sandi Lynn
“I never asked you to take care of me,” I cried.
“You didn’t have to. You’re my sister and I’m your brother. It was my obligation to our parents and sister to make sure you came through everything that happened okay. But I failed the day you walked out that door and never looked back. Because you know what, Em? You’re not okay and you won’t be until you accept their deaths.”
“I have accepted it!” I screamed.
Alex got up from his chair and attempted to wrap his arms around me. I pushed him away. “Don’t.”
“If you accepted it, then why haven’t you gone to their graves? Why do you keep running from this place? You had just as many good memories here as bad. Shit happens, Em. People die. It’s life. I lost you too that day and I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring you back.”
I fell to my knees because I couldn’t take it anymore, and it was at that moment that I realized my brother’s anger and attitude were because he felt as if he’d failed me. In reality, though, I was the one who had failed him.
“Adam, I’m—”
“Save it, Em. I need you to sign these papers.” He threw them on the table. “I lied to you. You have money left, and as soon as you sign those papers, it’s all yours. I am no longer responsible for your finances. I wanted you to see that it was time for you to settle down and stop running from the past. But obviously, you aren’t ever going to stop running until something happens to you and I won’t be there to pick up the pieces.” He turned and walked out of the living room. A few moments later, the slamming of the front door startled me.
I sat on the floor, crying and enraged by everything that had just happened. Alex walked over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Emerson.”
“Don’t touch me!” I yelled as I stood up. “You lost that right when you shut me out this past week.”
“Calm down.” He grabbed my arms and pulled me into him, holding me so tight that I could barely breathe.
I tried to loosen myself from his grip, but couldn’t. Finally, I gave up and just sank to the ground with him as I held on to him for dear life.
****
Alex
Seeing her in so much pain broke my heart into a million pieces. She needed me and I was going to be there for her. I put all my thoughts and the shit that had happened aside because I loved her and I was going to see that she got through this. I picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. As I gently laid her on the bed, she grabbed my hand.
“Please stay,” she begged.
“Of course.”
I climbed in next to her and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t want to talk and I respected that. She didn’t want to be alone and I didn’t want to leave her alone. After falling asleep for a couple of hours, I awoke to Emerson coming out of the bathroom in her nightshirt.
“How are you?” I asked as I sat up.
“I don’t know. God, Alex, so much shit was revealed tonight. Things Adam never told me.”
“I know.” I held out my hand to her.
She placed her hand in mine and crawled back into bed.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Kind of. You?”
“Yeah. I am. How about a pizza?”
She gave me a small smile. “Sounds good.”
We walked to the kitchen and I placed the order for the pizza while Emerson poured us each a glass of wine. Her eyes were swollen and she looked tired. I just wanted to whisk her away from all of this. I saw Emerson’s point, but I also understood Adam’s. We took a seat outside on the patio.
“How do you feel about Adam lying to you about your money situation?”
She looked up at me with her sad eyes. “I’m mad, but I get why he did it.”
“He wants his sister back, Em.”
She gave me a small smile. “That’s the first time you’ve called me that.”
“It is. Isn’t it?” I tilted my head at her.
I heard the doorbell ring and, when I got up, Emerson took hold of my hand.
“Bring the pizza down to the beach. I want to eat down there by the water.”
“In the sand?” I arched my brow.
“Yeah. In the sand.”
I nodded my head and walked inside. After I paid for the pizza, I took the box down to the beach and sat down next to Emerson, handing her a slice of pizza.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier,” she spoke.
“Don’t apologize. You were stressed out and upset.”
“I shouldn’t have said that to you.”
I chuckled. “There were a lot of things you never should have said to me. Like, you were going to break my balls.”
She laughed. “I apologized to you for saying that.”
“You did, but you also said you wouldn’t hesitate to say it again.” I smiled as I shoulder bumped her.
“Have you ever really listened closely to the ocean?” she asked with seriousness.
“What do you mean? Oh shit!” I dropped my pizza in the sand. “Now see, if were sitting at the table, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Just grab another piece.” She laughed.
Reaching into the box, I grabbed another slice and looked over at her. “What did you mean by that?”
“Just listen for a minute. Do you hear the subtle hissing sound?”
“Actually, I do.” I listened carefully. “Why haven’t you ever visited your parents’ and Emily’s graves?”
“The truth?” She looked over at me.
“Always.”
“Because if I did, it would mean I would have to say goodbye.” She wiped her eye.
I set down my pizza on top of the box and pulled her into me. “Come here.” I softly kissed the top of her head. “You never have to say goodbye, Emerson. You told me that Emily is always with you. She was at Nationals with the dove and in Napa when it rained. You asked for a sign and she gave it to you. Visiting their graves won’t change that.”
“Then why do it?”
“Everyone is different. I visit my father’s grave occasionally and make sure the area is kept up. Plus, I feel closer to him when I’m there.”
“Were you and your father close?”
“Yes, we were, and we grew closer after my mother left. I don’t know. It just gives me a sense of peace. Come on. Let’s go back up to the house. I think you’re going to need to shower since you’re covered in sand. You are only wearing that nightshirt.”
“True. Plus, I’m tired. It’s been a clusterfuck of a day and I’m ready for it to end.”
I helped her up and grabbed the pizza box. Emerson grabbed our glasses and we walked back up to the house.
Chapter 29
Emerson
After setting the glasses on the counter, I walked to my room and Alex followed, walking into the bathroom and starting the shower for me. I took off my nightshirt and stood before him in nothing but my panties. His eyes raked over my body and the need to make love to him intensified. He slowly walked over to me and placed his hand on my cheek while our eyes locked on each other.
“Take a shower with me,” I whispered.
His lips gave way to a small smile. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I need you tonight.”
His lips brushed softly against mine for a moment before he stripped out of his clothes. He took my hand, and we stepped into the shower as the warm water ran down us and our lips tightly locked together.
****
As I let out a yawn, I looked over at the clock and saw the time was ten. When I looked to my side, the only sight I saw was the crumpled sheets and the empty pillow where Alex lay and held me last night. I climbed out of bed, slipped my robe on, and followed the smell of fresh brewed coffee to the kitchen, where I found Alex over the stove, making eggs.
“What’s this?” I smiled.
He turned his head and looked at me. “Good morning. I was just about to wake your lazy ass up.” He snickered.
Pouring a cup of c
offee, I smacked him on the arm.
“Umm. Something’s burning.”
“Shit. The toast!” He turned to the toaster and popped it up.
I laughed as I grabbed a butter knife. “We can always just scrape off the burnt part and then spread thick layers of jelly across it.”
“Very funny. I’ll just make new.”
“It’s fine, Alex.” I placed my hand on his arm.
Walking into the dining room, I stopped and took note of the pink rose petals scattered all over the table with a beautiful arrangement of different flowers in a crystal vase.
“What’s all this?”
“Nothing. Doesn’t everyone eat breakfast on a table filled with rose petals?”
“You don’t do rose petals. Remember?”
“Why are you making a big deal about it? Just sit down and eat your scrambled eggs and burnt toast.” He smirked.
Sitting down with a smile on my face, I began to eat the eggs Alex so graciously prepared for me.
Crunch.
Crunch.
“What the hell, Parker?” Laughing, I spit the eggs back onto the plate.
“What? That was really gross, Emerson.”
“Eggs aren’t supposed to be crunchy.” I dug through the eggs with my fork. “Oh my God, there’s shells in here.” I looked up at him.
“Oh. I thought I got all those out. Sorry about that.” He pushed his plate away. “Go get dressed. We’re going out somewhere.”
“Where?”
“For a drive.”
“Where?”
“I’m not telling you. You’ll see when we get there.”
“I really don’t feel like going anywhere.”
He sighed and got up from his seat. Pulling my chair out, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?! Put me down.”
“I told you to go get dressed and you didn’t listen, so I’m dressing you myself.”
“The hell you are. Put me down.” I pounded on his tight ass.
When we reached the bedroom, he walked into my closet, with me still over his shoulder, and pulled a black sundress from the hanger.
“This will do.” He set me down and untied my robe. After sliding it off my shoulders, he pulled the sundress over my head. “There. Now do you need me to do your hair and makeup as well?”
“You’re such a douchebag, Parker.” I smiled as I walked into the bathroom.
“At least I’m not a fucker. You have fifteen minutes, Emerson. I’ll be downstairs waiting.”
“Did you take your pill?” I yelled before he walked out.
“Yes.”
“Good boy.”
****
As we were driving, Alex still wouldn’t tell me where we were going, but the route was all too familiar to me. Panic started to settle inside me as he made a left turn into a subdivision.
“Alex, what are you doing?” I asked nervously.
He looked over at me and took hold of my hand but didn’t say a word.
“Parker. I’m speaking to you. I don’t like this. Turn around!”
“Stop, Emerson,” he spoke as he pulled into the driveway of my childhood home.
I gulped as I stared at it from the car window. “I will ask you nicely one last time to please take me back to your house. Because if you don’t, I swear to God, I’ll break your balls.”
“There you go again.”
“Alex, I’m serious. This isn’t funny and I want to leave.”
He grabbed both of my hands and stared at me. “Listen to me. I want you to calm down. This was your childhood home and you had wonderful memories here. We’re going to go inside and you’re going to tell me about those memories. Okay?”
“How the hell are we going to get inside?”
“The realtor will be here shortly. The house is up for sale and I made an appointment to look at it.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “How did you even know about this house?”
“I talked to Adam this morning.”
“Of course you did. Fuck you, Parker. I’m not going inside that house.” I opened the car door and ran straight to the backyard. Why? It was a place of comfort.
As I stopped in the middle of the grass, I looked straight ahead by the oak tree that was still there and at the empty spot where the little house used to be that my dad had built for us. He called it “Twins Cottage.”
Alex walked up from behind and clasped my shoulders. “What are you staring at?”
“Over there by the oak tree, Emily and I always played in the cottage my dad built for us. It was our own little house. We would have tea parties when we were really little and then, as we grew, we used it as a place to escape from our parents for a while. Emily and I would sit in there for hours and listen to music and talk about the things we were going to do. We had some amazing times in there. I even got my first kiss in there by a boy named Sam. What happened in that cottage, stayed in that cottage.” I smiled.
I walked over to the tree and examined the trunk, finding the arrow that I had carved into it. “See this spot right here?”
“Yeah.”
“This is where we buried Muffin, our dog. I carved this arrow in the trunk of the tree pointing down so I’d always remember exactly where she was buried.”
Alex put his arms around my waist and kissed my head.
“Excuse me,” a woman spoke from behind us. “You must be Alex Parker?”
“Yes, and this is Emerson James.”
“Nice to meet you both. Come with me and I’ll show you around inside.”
I took in the deepest breath I ever took in my life before walking through the back door of the house I grew up in. Stepping inside, memories of my parents, Adam, and Emily flooded my mind. Tears started to spring to my eyes.
“As you can see—” the realtor started to speak.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but I just want to look around myself. If I have any questions, I’ll let you know.”
“Oh,” she spoke with an offended tone. “Well then, I’ll be sitting in the kitchen.”
“Thank you.” Alex smiled gently at her.
Chapter 30
Alex
Maybe bringing Emerson back to her childhood home wasn’t the brightest idea I’d ever had, but she needed to be reminded of the good times she’d had here. Was it my place to remind her of them? Yes. I felt it was because I loved her and I wanted her pain to stop. She walked up the stairs and I followed her. Opening one of the doors in the hallway, she walked inside the room.
“This was my and Emily’s room. My bed sat in that corner over there and Emily’s sat in that corner across from me.”
“Why did you two share a room? This is a five-bedroom house.”
“Because we couldn’t stand to be separated.”
Jesus. It was all making sense to me now.
“We used to sit on our beds, do our homework, and talk for hours about everything. This wall over here.” She pointed. “This is where our map hung and there was a dresser right underneath it where we always kept a black marker sitting on top. My mom would come in our room to put our laundry away and she’d look at the map. She would smile every time she saw another black circle.”
She was smiling and her tone of voice was lighter. She was remembering the good times here and I prayed to God this was enough to make her stay in California.
****
Emerson
The memories that resided in this house were just as strong today as when I was younger. Walking out of my bedroom, I headed down the hallway and ran my finger along the slight crack in the molding outside Adam’s bedroom door. I laughed.
“I can’t believe it’s still here.”
“What?” Alex asked.
“See this small crack?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s from Adam’s head. When he was sixteen, he went to a friend’s party and came home drunk. He missed the door and cracked his head on the molding. My dad took
him to the ER and he got four stitches that night. My mom stayed back with us because she was so angry with him.”
Alex laughed. “I bet she was.”
Taking Alex’s hand, we walked downstairs to the living room. “My mom and dad both loved lighthouses.” I walked over to the corner where a curio cabinet used to sit. “They collected them and we had a cabinet that sat right here filled with different ones. Some of them lit up and, at night, my mom would turn them on and turn off all the other lights in the room so the only thing we saw were the glowing lights of the lighthouses. They were beautiful and so peaceful. Next to the cabinet hung a painting of the Bass Harbor Lighthouse in Bass Harbor, Maine. My mom talked about this cute little cottage they stayed at while they were there. My dad proposed to her in front of that very lighthouse. She was sitting on the rocks, staring out into the water, while my dad took pictures of her. She said it was the most beautiful place she’d ever been to. My dad got down on one knee on the rock in front of her and asked her to marry him. She said he totally surprised her because they hadn’t even talked about marriage. They bought the painting before they left to remind them of how special of a place it was. She said it symbolized their start of a new life together.”
“What happened to the painting?” he asked.
“Adam has it in storage somewhere.”
Walking to the kitchen, I looked around and could see my mom standing by the stove. It was her favorite room in the house. “My mom cooked here every single night. She was a great cook. Sometimes, I would help her while Emily went to swim in the pool. Speaking of which.” I turned to the realtor. “What happened to the pool?”
“The previous owners took it out because they didn’t want it.” She gave me an odd look. “Do you know this house?”
“Yes. I grew up here.”
“Oh,” she spoke with surprise.
Alex walked over to where I was standing and put his arm around me.