by Sandi Lynn
“We’re looking to possibly start our own family in this house. Isn’t that right, baby?”
“Umm. Yes. Yes, we are.”
“Excellent!” The realtor smiled.
Her phone rang and she looked at it. “Excuse me. I need to take this call,” she spoke as she walked out of the room.
I looked out the window at the spot where the pool used to be. “Who the hell lives in California and doesn’t want a pool?”
“Obviously fools.” Alex chuckled.
I turned and looked at Alex with a smile on my face. “I have to see if it’s still there. Come on.” I grabbed his hand and led him through kitchen, through the foyer, out the front door, and onto the porch. I looked in the corner and knelt down, placing my hand on the small handprint that my dad made the three of us do when he built the new porch.
“This is my handprint. This one is Emily’s and this is Adam’s.”
“How old were you?”
“We were six and Adam was ten. I remember the day we did this. My dad said that we’d always be a permanent part of this house now that our handprints were here. He said no matter what life threw at us, we’d always have this house and the memories we made here. Oh my God, Alex. I just remembered all that.”
He put his arm around me and pulled me into him. “That’s good, Emerson. Your dad sounds like he was a wise man.”
“He was.”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the sky opened up and let the rain fall down.
“What the fuck?” Alex said as he stood up.
A smile splayed across my face as I ran out onto the grass and held my arms up. When I threw my head back, the rain fell upon my face. “They’re here with us.” I smiled as I turned in a circle.
“What the heck is going on?” the realtor spoke. “They weren’t calling for rain today.”
“It’s only temporary,” I heard Alex speak. “Thank you for showing us the house. I’ll be in touch.”
“I have a couple who is highly interested in it, so if I were you, I wouldn’t wait too long to make a decision.”
We climbed in the car and a feeling of peace flowed through me.
“Thank you, Parker.”
He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips. “You’re welcome. We better get home and change out of these wet clothes.”
Chapter 31
Emerson
Seeing my childhood home brought back so many memories. Memories of the happiness that once resided there. After changing out of my wet clothes, Alex knocked on my bedroom door.
“Come in.”
He walked in and over to me as I was putting on my shirt.
“Emerson,” he spoke.
“What’s up, Parker?” I smiled.
“We need to talk,” he spoke with a serious tone.
“Okay. Shoot, big guy.”
He took hold of both my hands. Staring into my eyes, he inhaled deeply.
“Em, I—” He paused.
“What is it, Alex? Is something wrong?”
He gave me a small smile. “No. I just wanted to tell you that I’m happy I took you to the house.”
“Thank you. I’m happy that you did too. I’m sorry I gave you shit about it when we first got there and, again, I’m sorry for threatening your balls.”
He laughed. “Apology accepted.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m going to head to the office. I’ll be home later tonight.”
“Okay.”
He walked out and I stared at the door. I was hoping he’d come to tell me something else. But he didn’t. I was so scared of what was happening because things were changing for me. Feelings for Alex were stronger than ever. Was this real? Could this be real? I should tell him how I feel. But then if the feelings weren’t returned, I would be left standing like a fool. Alex Parker didn’t do relationships because of frizzy, curly-haired girl. I didn’t do relationships because the thought of attaching myself to someone and then losing them scared the living hell out of me. Never stay in one place long enough to become attached.
****
Alex
As I was sitting in my office, I stared out the window and thought of Emerson. I should have told her how I felt. I should have told her that I loved her right then and there, like I had planned to. But when I looked into her eyes, I couldn’t. She was strong and she was determined and she was going to leave. What if she didn’t love me back? I thought maybe she did, but I wasn’t sure. For the first time in my life, I was scared. Scared of being rejected by the first woman I had ever truly loved. Was I just another broken heart in her eyes? Another guy she’d leave behind while she traveled off on her next adventure? This was killing me. She was killing me. I spent the night at the office.
The next morning, when I returned home to change and shower, I found Emerson in the kitchen.
“Hey. You didn’t come home last night,” she spoke.
“I had so much work to do and I fell asleep.”
“Oh. I hope you slept okay. I sent you a couple of text messages but you didn’t reply.”
I shrugged. “I’m just home to shower and change.”
She looked down and I looked away.
“Okay. I hope your day goes better.”
“Thanks.” I went upstairs and sat on the edge of my bed, placing my face in my hands for a moment before showering and leaving again.
After spending the day thinking about Emerson and looking up the definition of love once again, I had no choice but to tell her how much I loved her. I wasn’t letting her go anywhere. She belonged here with me. We belonged together whether she believed it or not. I had stopped by the florist and picked up a dozen red roses for her. I was going to make her see that staying in California was the best thing for her. That I was the best thing for her.
When I arrived home, I couldn’t find her.
“Jenna, where’s Emerson?”
She looked at me and then looked down.
“Jenna?”
“She’s gone, Mr. Parker.”
“WHAT?! What do you mean ‘she’s gone’?” I said through gritted teeth in an angry tone that I believe scared the poor woman.
“She packed her bags and left.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
“No. She just said she had to leave.”
“FUCK!” I screamed and she flinched.
I stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall to Emerson’s room. Flinging open the door, I walked inside and looked around. The closet was empty, as were all her drawers. Lying on the bed was a sealed envelope with my name on it. I picked it up and sat down. Pulling out the letter, I unfolded it and a picture of the two of us fell to the ground. Picking it up and looking at it for a moment, I held it in my hand as I began to read the words she wrote.
My dearest Alex,
Two words come to mind as I’m sitting here writing this. Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Never stay in one place too long, right? Spending the past months with you have been the most amazing time I’d ever had. I know you probably aren’t believing that, but they were. I was scared to come back, yet you managed to turn my fears into ashes. When I was with you, I didn’t think about anything else. You made me feel safe and secure and you gave your home to me. For that, I thank you. I told you things I had never told anyone because you made me feel comfortable and protected. I hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. You made me fall in love with you, Parker. Something no one has ever been able to do. You took care of me even when you didn’t realize it. You gave me hope for the future. Something I hadn’t had since the accident. There’s so much beauty in this world, even underneath all the despair and tragedies. I see that because of you. When you took me home, you gave me memories I didn’t think I had and I can’t even begin to thank you enough for that. I hope you can understand why I had to leave and why I couldn’t face you in person. Hell, I’m not sure I even understand, so if you don’t, it’s okay. You’ve forgiven me for things I’ve said and I hope you
can forgive me for leaving. You’re not just another guy I left behind. You’re the man who stole my heart. I had the picture printed so you could have it and always remember me. I hope you don’t mind. If you don’t want it, throw it out. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. You’re my best friend, Alex Parker, and I love you. Make sure to take your medication every day and stay away from the saltshaker. Actually, that won’t be difficult at home because I threw them all out. But I trust that when you’re out and you see a saltshaker, you won’t touch it because you’ll hear my voice in your head. I’m looking out for you like you did me. Take care, Parker, and promise me you’ll never forget me.
Love forever,
Emerson
The air in the room became thick and it was difficult to breathe. She did love me and if I had only confessed my feelings for her, she might have stayed. I crumpled up the letter in my hand and tossed it on the bed. As I looked at the picture of the two of us in Napa, tears started to form in my eyes. I already missed her, and suddenly, my world fell apart.
As I wiped the tears from my eyes, my phone rang. It was Adam. Shit.
“Hello.”
“She’s gone again. Isn’t she?”
“Yes.”
“Damn it. I thought you were going to convince her to stay.” He sounded angry.
“I tried. Do you know where she would have gone?”
“How the fuck would I know? I never knew where she was until she called and told me.”
“How did you know she was gone?”
“She left a letter on my door. Apologizing and asking for forgiveness. But the thing is, I don’t think I can forgive her this time.”
“You can, Adam.”
“Can you, Alex?”
“Yes, because I love her.”
“If you hear from her, call me. I tried texting her, but my texts won’t go through.”
“I will.”
I ended the call and lay back on the bed, staring at the picture of us.
Chapter 32
Alex
I was still lying on Emerson’s bed when Jenna knocked on the door and slowly opened it.
“Excuse me, Mr. Parker.”
“What?!” I spoke in a stern voice.
“Umm. You need to come to the front door. A package arrived for you.”
“Just bring it here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Jenna, bring the goddamn package to me!” I yelled.
“Very well.”
A few moments later, she walked back in the bedroom and a look of shock splayed across my face.
“What the hell is that?” I asked as she held a puppy in her arms.
“This was the package at the front door.”
She set him down on the bed and he began to jump on me and lick my face.
“Oh my God. Get it out of here!”
She picked up the dog and handed me an envelope. “This was with it, sir.”
I took it from her hand and opened it, pulling out the white card inside.
“Alex,
I want you to meet Parker. In case you can’t tell, he’s a yellow Lab and he’s just a baby. Take good care of him for me. You need him as much as he needs you. Take him to the beach and play fetch with him. Teach him some tricks and talk to him. You need someone to love, Alex, and he won’t break your heart.
Love always,
Emerson.”
What the hell was she thinking? I looked up at Jenna, who was standing there petting the puppy.
“It’s from Emerson and his name is Parker.”
She laughed and I shot her a look.
“I guess we have a new houseguest, Jenna. You may place him on the bed.”
She set him down and, instantly, he ran over to me, licking my face and jumping all around. I took hold of his red collar with the dog-bone-shaped tag attached to it that read: Parker Parker. I couldn’t help but laugh because this was so Emerson.
****
I spent the next couple of weeks working from home and bonding with Parker. He was a cute little guy and I wasn’t even fond of dogs, especially when they shit in the house. We spent a lot of time on the beach and playing in the yard.
I missed Emerson so much and, every day that passed, it hurt more and more. I hadn’t shaven in a few days and I didn’t care. A feeling of hopelessness resided in me without her in my life. All I wanted was to hear her sweet voice and hold her in my arms once again. She changed me, my life, and my world. And my world was nothing without her in it.
“Excuse me, Mr. Parker,” Jenna spoke as she stepped out onto the patio.
“Yes, Jenna?”
“Emerson left something behind.”
“What?”
“This.” She held out the map Emerson always kept with her.
Staring at it for a moment, my heart started racing. I looked at Jenna.
“She wouldn’t have left this behind. This would have been the first thing she packed. Where did you find it?”
“I was in her room dusting and Parker dragged it out from under the bed.”
Suddenly, a feeling of happiness flowed inside me.
“Jenna, do you know what this means?” I smiled as I took the map from her.
“No, sir. I don’t.”
“Emerson left this behind because she wants me to find her! Come inside.”
I unfolded the map and laid it on the island. “The black circles are the places she still had to go. The red circles are the places she’s already been. Focus on the black circles, Jenna.”
We both stared intently at the map.
“She could be anywhere,” Jenna spoke.
My eyes diverted to the right side of the map. “I know where she’s at!” I exclaimed.
“Where? How do you know?”
“She’s right here.” I smiled as I pointed to the state of Maine. “Bass Harbor holds a special place in her memories and I know that’s where she went!”
Without even thinking, I grabbed Jenna and kissed her forehead.
“Sir?” she said in a shocked tone.
“I need you to stay here for a few days and watch Parker for me. I’ll pay you double what you’re making now. I’m going to bring Emerson home, Jenna.” I smiled. “I’m bringing her back and she’s never leaving again unless I’m with her.”
“Go, sir. I’ll stay with Parker. Go get her!” She smiled.
I pulled out my phone and dialed my pilot.
“Hello, Mr. Parker.”
“Get the plane ready. We’re going to Bass Harbor, Maine.”
“When would you like to leave?”
“I’ll be there in an hour. I don’t have any time to waste.”
“Very well, sir. I’ll be waiting for you.”
I ended the call and dialed Phillip.
“Phillip. I need you to come get me and take me to my plane. I know where Emerson is and I’m going to bring her home.”
“Excellent news, Alex. I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”
Chapter 33
Emerson
I rented a cottage on the water in Bass Harbor, Maine. When I first arrived, I didn’t have a plan and I was lucky that Pine Cottages had one left to rent. It was small but quaint. It had a living area with a fireplace, which I was grateful for since the weather in Maine was getting quite chilly, a small bedroom with a queen-size bed, and a small kitchen area with a stove, sink, and refrigerator.
I spent my days walking along the rocky shores and watching the lobster boats drift by. I spent my nights missing Alex so much that it hurt. There wasn’t one second of the day where I wasn’t thinking about him.
“Hello, Emerson.” Mary knocked on the door.
“Come on in, Mary.”
She opened the door and handed me a fresh loaf of bread she had just made. Mary was the owner of Pine Cottages and we had quickly become friends. Her husband had passed away a few years ago and she never had any children. The cottages were everything to her. Sometimes at night, she would come over and we
’d sit out on the screened-in porch, talking about life and drinking tea. I told her everything; the accident, my travels, and all about Alex.
“He still hasn’t shown up, eh?”
“No. But he will. If he knows me at all, he’ll find me.”
“So that’s what you’re waiting on? Him to find you to see if he’s the one to change your life and get you to settle?”
“Yep. I confessed my feelings to him in that letter and if he feels the same about me, he’ll come.”
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell him how you felt back in California.”
I gave her a small smile. “It’s complicated. He’s complicated. I’m complicated. But together, we’re uncomplicated. Does that make sense?”
She laughed. “Not really. But I’ll take your word for it.” She reached over and patted my hand. “I was thinking that maybe tomorrow morning you can help me in the kitchen. Maybe show me a thing or two you learned in Tuscany.”
“I’d love to.”
“Great. Then I’ll see you up at the main house around seven a.m.?”
“I will be there.”
****
Alex
Due to a slight mechanical problem, I couldn’t take off as planned and I was angry. The only thing I wanted to do was get to Emerson. But then I was faced with another problem. I didn’t know where the hell she was staying, so I called Adam.
“Hello.”
“Adam, I know where Emerson’s at.”
“Did you hear from her?”
“No. But she left her map behind.”
“Huh? That’s unlike her.”
“Exactly. She wants me to find her.”
“Where is she?”
“Bass Harbor, Maine.”
“How do you know she’s there?”
“When I took her back to your childhood home, she told me the story about your parents and the lighthouses. She hasn’t been to Maine yet. It was still circled in black.”
“I remember that story. Do you really think she’s there?”
“Yes. I do. I’m almost sure of it. I need you to look at her credit card to see what hotel she checked into.”
“Sorry, Alex. I don’t have access to that anymore.”
“Shit. Okay. I’ll figure it out. If I have to search every hotel in Bass Harbor and the surrounding area, I will.”