Learning Curve

by Andi Jaxon

  “Not really. It was loud, and I would have sworn you were there.” Closing my eyes, I try to focus on the details, but it’s like I’m missing some of the film to a movie.

  “You saw Alex. He’s the one that found you. He told me he tried to talk to you, but you were pretty out of it, the EMT’s got you in the ambulance as soon as the house was cleared.”

  “What happened to Dan?” I hate how my voice shakes when I say his name. He instils fear in me, even from a distance.

  “He was arrested, no bail.”

  Nancy comes in and lets me know I can take a shower as long as I have supervision. “I can sit in there with him,” Alister volunteers.

  “Perfect, I’ll get you all disconnected and ready to go. Take it slow, you haven’t been up in a while, and your legs may protest.” I didn’t think about how long my legs have gone without use, but she’s right, my legs will probably just give out on me.

  She gets me disconnected from the monitors and IV lines, then her and Alister help me to stand. It’s painful, but it also feels good to move. All my muscles are angry at the abuse and lack of use, screaming to let me know just how much so. It’s a slow walk, but we make it to the bathroom where Nancy gets a shower stool set up for me along with toiletries. “Thank you, Nancy. I can handle it from here.”

  She gives Alister a nod and heads out to attend to her other patients. My gown opens and falls to the floor, giving Alister a clear picture of what I’ve been through. Humiliation weighs heavily on my shoulders, my head dropping to my chest. I will now wear the scars of my torment for the rest of my life. Proof that I’m fucked up, ruined.

  A gasp sounds behind me as he sees the full magnitude of my injuries. The air around me moves when Alister comes to stand in front of me. I can’t stop myself from turning into the warmth of his hand as he cups my cheek. “This,” his voice cracks as he waves his hand up and down my body, “changes nothing. I love you. I need you.” He leans down and kisses my forehead, careful not to touch any burns.

  My hand's fist in his shirt, my face buried in his chest, and the dam holding my emotions breaks. Hot tears flood his shirt as all the fear, anger, physical, and mental pain slam through me. Through the tears, words tumble from me, a rambling of the horror I lived through.

  “Everything hurt so much, I couldn’t breathe, my hands and feet went numb with cold, and my head screamed.” Alister’s arm barely touches my shoulders, afraid of hurting me. “It’s always his first move, freezing and starving. My hands and feet turned purple and blue. He comes in asking stupid questions, and when I answer wrong, I get the belt to my frozen skin. The sting on my skin and the slap against my broken ribs was more than I could stand. I don’t know how long I was there, how long I prayed for death to take me, to end the suffering.” I fall to my knees, Alister dropping to the floor with me, determined not to let me go. Both of his arms are wrapped around my shoulders, holding me together while I fall apart. “Then the burns. The fucking cigars. I hate them. I always hated them. One burn for every year I’ve been bad. What did I do to deserve this?” My voice breaks and the words stop pouring from me as I scream through the tears. My hands are balled up so tight in his shirt, causing my knuckles to turn white, and my fingers to scream.

  “You’re okay, Ben. I’ve got you. I love you.” Alister’s words keep repeating until I’m weak and the tears stop. Wiping the last of the moisture away, Alister kisses me softly. He gets the shower going and strips out of his clothes, before helping me to sit on the stool in the tub, and then grabbing a cup to rinse me with so the pressure of the shower head doesn’t hit open wounds. He washes me from head to toe, carefully rinsing each burn and washing the skin in between them, blowing on the wounds when they sting from soap and water. Massaging my scalp, neck, and shoulders, trailing his fingers over my skin to make sure all the dirt and grime is gone. Washing me clean of the nightmare.

  He takes his time rinsing me off, the hot water feeling amazing on my sensitive skin even when it stings. When the water shuts off, and I’m finally clean, I feel better. My heart and mind lighter, my body tired but resilient.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  ALISTER -

  Ben has been in the hospital for a week. I have barely been away from him, too anxious to be away from him for long. Since it was the last week of classes, I did have to go in and teach, but it was at least a distraction while I was gone. I took the laptop to the hospital so Ben could let his teachers know that he was in an accident and was unable to make it. They were all pretty nice about it and gave him the finals review they were all doing.

  Luckily, he’s being released today. It’s Sunday morning and Ben has his last finals this week, then we’re home free. Waving to the nurses at the nurses station, I continue down the hall to Ben’s room, with a bag of clothes for him to wear home and a coffee with cream and sugar, just the way he likes it. Pushing open the door, he’s sitting up in his bed, talking to a nurse as she removes his IV and PICC line. He notices the door open and smiles when he sees me.

  I drop the bag of clothes on a chair, hand the coffee to him, and kiss him before sitting next to him on the bed. “Good morning, Nancy.”

  “Good morning, Alister. Happy to be getting your man back today?” The dark-skinned, short nurse is our favorite. Always smiling but take no crap from anyone.

  “You know it.” I wink at her, earning myself a chuckle.

  “Alright, why don’t you go ahead and get dressed? I’ll get your discharge paperwork and medications.”

  “Sounds good. Thank you.”

  Ben pulls me into him and kisses me hard, a passion-filled slide of lips, and dancing tongues. When we part, both of us are breathing harder, lust coursing through us.

  “Let’s get you dressed and home, then we can continue this.” The timber of my voice is a little lower, noticeable even to me. Ben turns and swings his legs off the bed. Dropping to a crouch, I help him get boxers and loose pants on. The caress of his dick was purely accidental, sort of. The moan he lets out has me hardening, but this is definitely not the place, especially knowing Nancy will be back any minute.

  I untie the gown and let it slide down his arms to pool on the floor. The burns are healing, and the bruises have started to fade, but it’s no less heartbreaking seeing the proof of what he went through. Someday it’ll be easier to see the scars, but today I feel like I should have somehow prevented it from happening. It’s bullshit, logically I know that, but doesn’t stop the thoughts. One of my old, soft cotton t-shirts slides over his head and covers all the bandages.

  After everything, he ended up with four broken ribs, a bruised sternum, a skull fracture, and major concussion, along with twenty-three second degree burns. Dan was arrested, charged with kidnapping, false imprisonment, and a slew of assault charges. Alex is still looking into who he knew in the bureau that was helping him all those years, and he takes it very personally that there may still be a dirty cop working the streets.

  Nancy comes back in with a brown bag full of medication and bandages, explains what needs to be done to care for his burns and how often he needs medication, and sends us home.

  The drive is quiet, peaceful, as we get back to our apartment. He tenses up when we pass the alleyway behind our building, not that I blame him. He told me what happened while he was lying in the hospital, afraid to sleep, afraid of nightmares. He’s had one every night since we got him back and I’m hoping being back home will be better. Taking the trash out will definitely be my duty from now on, I could never ask him to go back in the alley where he was assaulted.

  Riding the elevator up, he leans into me and lays his head on my shoulder. He still tires easily since his mind and body are healing. We enter the apartment, and I usher him to the couch to rest.

  “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.”

  “A little bit, just something small, like toast?”

  “Sure, how about some eggs to go with?”

  He smiles at me as he settles back int
o the cushions. “That sounds great. Thank you.”

  Taking the bag of medications into the kitchen, I scramble Ben some eggs and butter some toast for him, and take the plate out to the living room. I come to a stop as I see him passed out. Setting the plate on the table, I cover him with a blanket and sit next to him, pulling him to lay his head in my lap. I turn on the TV, flip through the channels while running my fingers through his hair and fall asleep myself.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  BEN -

  Being back at home with Alister is an adjustment. It should be easy to remember the feeling of safety and comfort, but it isn’t always. I’m glad I had finals to keep my mind occupied the first week back. Getting to campus was tricky since I’m not well enough to walk to and from the apartment, but Alister all but demanded I take an Uber and he paid for them. I hate that I still don’t have money, my financial aid finally came through, but my landlord sent me to collections for not paying rent on an apartment I can’t live in, so they took all of it.

  I’m almost done. Just a few more hours, one more final, and I’ll be home free. I filed my paperwork to graduate, ordered my cap and gown, and I’m ready to be done. My eyes close and my head leans back on the chair when Alister comes storming into his office, making me jump.

  “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Concern instantly takes over his face.

  “It’s okay. What’s wrong?”

  “I was called to a meeting with the board for disciplinary action.” He paces the small space with his hands on his hips.

  “For what?” He has my full attention now.

  “Inappropriate relationship with a student.” His eyes bore into mine when he says the words and I sink into the chair, making myself as small as possible. “I told them I quit.”

  Shock has me standing. “What?”

  Alister comes to me, wraps his arm around my waist and lays his hand on the small of my back. “While you were in the hospital, I applied to a few of the other local colleges and universities. I was given a job offer at the University of Washington, Seattle and I accepted. Once final grades are posted for the semester, I’m done here. We won’t have to hide our relationship anymore.” The smile on his face is contagious, and I find myself smiling too.

  “So, you’re okay with all this? You’re losing your job because of me.”

  “I always knew this wasn’t a job I would have for the long run. It’s time to move on and let myself be happy with the man I love.”

  I lean into him, lifting onto my toes to cover his mouth with mine. This amazing man is willing to give up everything for me, I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I will work hard every day to ensure that I’m worthy.

  After my final exam, I wait for Alister in his office, knowing he won’t be long behind me. It’s Thursday, which means family dinner at the Bennet house, and I’m attending. To say that I’m terrified is an understatement. Mrs. Bennet called and talked to me while I was in the hospital, I don’t remember much of the conversation since I was still on heavy drugs, but I sincerely hope I didn’t talk about fucking her son. Alex also came in and took my official statement, but he was all business, so I don’t know what to expect from him.

  I’m still very easily tired, and simple tasks wear me out, so I’m half asleep when Alister enters his office and kisses my forehead. My lips lift in a smile at the tickle of his beard against my skin.

  “Come on sleepy head, we have dinner to get to.” He laces his fingers through mine and pulls me to standing. Alister turns to the filing cabinet and collects all the finals he has to correct, and puts them in his bag before we leave the room, and locks the door. For the first time, we walk across campus hand in hand to the parking lot. There aren’t a lot of people around, but we still get some looks, groups whispering as we walk past, but we don’t pay them any attention.

  The drive is quiet after stopping to pick up beer and flowers, our fingers still intertwined and resting on his thigh. The closer we get, the more nervous I get. What if they hate me? What if they take one look at me and think how much better Alister can do? Will they think I’m just a gold-digging freeloader who’s just trying to get a passing grade?

  In the driveway of his childhood home, we sit in silence in his car. “My mother is going to love you,” he tells me, turning to face me.

  “My own mother didn’t love me, so why would yours?” My question is a whisper as I take in the perfect family home on a nice, quiet street.

  “You don’t know what caused your mother to give you up, but I know my mother and I can promise you, she will love you.”

  My only response is a nod. He squeezes my hand, and I turn to look at our hands. Alister is the only person who has wanted to hold my hand. I can feel his gaze on my face, reading the thoughts that plague my mind.

  I finally lift my face to his, tears welling up in my eyes. With his free hand, he cups my cheek. I nuzzle into his palm, kissing the flesh under his thumb. Arousal hums through my body and blood surges to my dick. Bringing my face toward him, he takes my lips in a hard kiss.

  My lips slide over his, my body angling toward his. I untangle our fingers to lean over him, throwing my leg over his to straddle his lap. His cock is just as hard as mine, rubbing against his lower abdomen, forcing a growl from his chest. One of his hands fists in my shaggy hair, and the other grabs my ass, encouraging me to grind against him.

  Alister’s grunts and moans are going to be my undoing, I’m going to cum in my jeans like a fucking teenager. Ripping his lips from mine he says, “You’re killing me.” His breathing is heavy and his voice is rough with arousal. The desire to let him fuck me in the back seat of the car is almost overwhelming.

  “I want to cum,” I whine, helpless to the sensations rioting through me for the first time in weeks. “I need to cum.”

  Gripping my hips with a bruising squeeze, he forces me to stop. “In the backseat,” he orders.

  Climbing between the seats is much easier for me than it is for him. “Lean against the door, one foot on the floor.” Settling between my legs, his upper half is on the seat while his legs are on the floor.

  He lifts my shirt, licking, nipping, and kissing my stomach, as he inches his way to the waistband of my jeans. My hips jerk and lift at random when the anticipation gets to be too much. Unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans, he finally frees my erection. He grips the base of me and strokes root to tip a few times.

  “Please,” I groan gripping his hair.

  Teasing me, he draws out the pleasure. The risk of being caught makes this so much hotter. Since we’re pressed for time, he doesn’t tease me too long and wraps his lips around my swollen head and swallows. My hips jerk off the seat, forcing my cock farther down his throat. He groans around it, sending electric sparks up my spine. He lifts off and slams his mouth on me again, his mouth open wide to relax his throat, and his tongue on my balls at the same time saliva drips down my length. My cock gets harder, and my breathing catches in my throat, as I struggle to warn him about the impending orgasm.

  “Cum…fuck…cumming!” Hot jets of cum fill his mouth as I jerk off the seat with the force of my orgasm. With a hand on my balls, he gently squeezes and sucks down the last of it. Sitting up on his knees, a knowing smile covers his face. I’m leaning against the door breathing hard, completely spent.

  “Come on, put your dick away, it’s time for dinner.” He wipes his mouth to make sure there’s no evidence left before opening the door and climbing out. I straighten my clothes, get tucked away, and exit the car behind him.

  I can feel the flush heating my cheeks when I look up at him. “Thanks.” It’s the best thing I can come up with. My synapses are still misfiring after the explosion that just occurred. My hand is wrapped in his as he leads me to the front door of his parents’ house, the home he grew up in. I wish I knew what it was like to have lived in the same house my entire life, have happy memories associated with it.

  Before we get to the porch, the door o
pens, and Alex is standing in the doorway with a knowing smile on his face. Since Alex and Alister have the same face, does this mean their smiles and smirks mean the same things too?

  “Having a little pep talk in the driveway?” He smirks at Alister. Oh shit. He knows.

  “Keep it up, and I’ll recreate it for you to watch,” Alister responds, walking past his twin brother without a backward glance. The look on Alex’s face reminds me of someone who smelled rancid milk, followed by a full body shudder. Between the embarrassment of being caught and the reaction from Alex at Alister’s threat, I start to laugh. Once the laugh starts, I can’t seem to stop it. Soon I’m doubled over in the entryway, holding my stomach, trying to get it under control before the pain in my ribs gets too bad, and failing. Tears are pouring down my face, my lungs burning from trying not to take too deep of a breath, and my knees drop me to the floor.

  Alex and Alister both drop down into a crouch, the same confused, amused look on their faces, and I lose it again. “Oh god it hurts.” I’m finally able to get out between bursts of laughter. The pain in my ribs making it easier to get it under control.

  My hands wipe the tears away, and I look up at the brothers, both of them raising an eyebrow at the same time. “Okay, it’s weird when you do that.”

  “Do what?” they repeat in unison. They look at each other and chuckle.

  “Come on, let’s get you off the floor, ya lunatic.” Alister reaches out a hand for me to help me up, which I’m grateful for.

  Alister wraps an arm around my waist, leading me deeper into the house and to the living room where his father is sitting on the couch watching football.

  “Dad, this is Ben. Ben, my father, David.” He introduces us, and the older version of Alex and Alister stands to shake my hand.