Be My December

by Rachel Brookes

  “This is so good,” I spluttered between mouthfuls of cake, losing all sense of manners. His laughter flooded my ears as my cheeks flushed crimson. Nice one Eden, way to play the sophistication card. “Thank you so much for bringing me here. What was a pretty shitty night is finishing pretty awesome.”

  “The night isn’t over yet,” he declared with a straight face.

  His fork clinked against the plate once he finished his mountain of cake, and he folded his hands together and sat watching me. Every bite I took, his eyes followed the fork to my lips. My hands trembled with nerves under the intensity of his gaze and what would have usually been massive forkfuls of cake were now tiny, petite bites as I sat opposite this handsome stranger. My head throbbed with his declaration that the night wasn’t over? What the hell did that mean? He said we wouldn’t be going to his apartment.

  I licked the fork before the icing dripped off and the sound of his sharp intake of breath grabbed my attention and my eyes met his.

  “I never thought I’d witness someone who could make eating chocolate cake look so sexy.” His voice had dropped dangerously low, rumbling with intent and seduction. “Fuck, I am damn jealous of that fork.”

  Heat rushed to my face, and I knew I was a billboard for how his words were affecting me. I slowly put the fork down because suddenly I felt like I couldn’t stomach another bite. I wanted to finish it, but I didn’t want to encourage this guy any further.

  “It looks like our night is coming to an abrupt end.” His amused expression focused on something over my shoulder at the same time a loud crash sounded from the doorway. I jumped in my seat and shifted to find out what the commotion was. Deep laughter flooded out from within me. Josh walked in with Tori on one arm and Ashlyn on the other and both girls looked a little worse for wear. Ashlyn’s eyes locked onto where we were sitting, and she slipped out of Josh’s grasp and stumbled across the diner.

  “We found you!” she cried in over exaggerated sing song and slid in the booth opposite me. Her eyes squinted as she tried to gain focus. “You bought her cake. Oh my God, you do have a beating heart in there.”

  Crawford rolled his eyes at Ashlyn and huffed, “And on that note, it’s time for me to leave.”

  “Let’s all go,” Josh suggested, gaining an exasperated look from Crawford.

  Ashlyn slid out of the booth just as quickly as she slid in. My hand was soon encased by hers, and I was pulled to my feet. She marched out of the diner and hooked her arm with mine. What the hell was happening? Deep voices mumbled behind me, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. Within five minutes, we were entering the brightly lit foyer of City Towers that was still abuzz with chatter.

  “What are we doing Tori?” I asked as we all lingered in the foyer. All I wanted to do was go back to the hotel, have a shower until the hot water ran cold, and go to sleep.

  “Well I am going to be doing him,” she slurred and drunkenly pointed to Josh. “What do you want to do?”

  “I’m going to call a cab and go back to the hotel.” I announced swiftly.

  Tori grabbed my hands. “Are you sure? I can come with you.”

  “You stay. Have fun. I’ll be okay. I just want to go to bed. It’s been a crazy night.” I admitted.

  The sharp ding of the elevator’s arrival sounded, and Josh, Ashlyn and Tori piled in. Crawford still hadn’t said another word to me. I finally allowed myself to look at him and surprise, surprise, his entire focus was locked on me. The color of his eyes intrigued me. I had seen so many shades tonight. The longer I spent with him, the more nervous I became, the more fidgety, the more desperate I was to escape.

  “Can I have a word, Kellie?”

  I nodded, and he stepped towards me and I knew we were under Tori, Ashlyn, and Josh’s inquisitive gaze.

  It happened so quickly.

  With two confident steps his body, like an impenetrable wall, was in front of me. His warm hands cupped my face, the warmness colliding harshly with the coldness the New York winter had inflicted on my cheeks. His eyes danced with mine. My breath caught.

  This couldn’t.

  I couldn’t.

  He couldn’t.

  With a swift movement he dropped his mouth to my ear, the soft caress of his breath caused my emotions to roar to life.

  “Happy Birthday,” he whispered in my ear. “Until we meet again.”

  His lips peppered a kiss on my cheek, leaving me feeling like he had seared a burn so deep into my skin. Without another word, he turned and disappeared into the elevator, his eyes glued to mine until the closing door broke the intensity of our gaze.

  Monday morning barreled into my life like a catapulting freight train. My body felt weak, my brain felt fried and my mind was compacted so tight with memories of Friday night that my weekend had been spent rehashing conversations, looks, and flashbacks—all revolving around the girl in the red jacket.

  Saturday had been spent locked away in my apartment working until I couldn’t stand looking at my laptop any longer and then I stopped briefly to go and visit my parents for a long over-due visit. The usual conversations happened; how was work? How was Ashlyn? Had I got myself a girl? When was I going to give her grandchildren? Just the usual topics of discussion mom decided to start when I visited. Dad chuckled in the corner and let mom run her course. When I informed her that I was going to remain a bachelor for the rest of my years I received a warning glance that would frighten even the hardest of men. On Sunday, I had spent three hours at the gym with Josh; boxing, running and doing weights until I could barely stand. It was fucking fantastic and for those three hours I was distracted from thinking about her.

  But now it was Monday and once again she invaded my thoughts. I groaned loudly and yanked the covers from my body. I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and stood, stretching tall until I heard every bone in my stiff body crack to life. Stumbling out of my bedroom and into the guts of my apartment, I made my way into the sprawling kitchen as the promise of coffee made the morning seem a little easier to face. My morning routine was simple; coffee, turning on my iPod, checking my phone, and getting ready to face another day in the office. It worked, it was a ritual, and there was no need to change it.

  When I arrived at the office, I took the elevator to the top floor. The silence of the office was disturbing, and it only served to accentuate the pounding of my headache. I made my way down the dimly lit halls, illuminated by the night lights above. As usual I was the second to arrive for the day. Stopping by my ever appeasing executive assistant’s desk, she looked up and greeted me with a smile that was way too friendly for six thirty in the morning. Why she stuck with me was anyone’s guess.

  “How’s my day looking Lauren?” I took a seat on the edge of her desk, handing a steaming hot chocolate to her, as I did every morning. Lauren had been with me from my very first day so our friendship was built on one of trust and understanding and her fiancé had become a good friend who Josh and I would often go to games with. “And why are you here so early?”

  “Meeting at ten am with the production team, lunch with Josh, and this afternoon you should be receiving the final contracts for your meeting on Thursday.” She smiled brightly and then took a sip of her hot chocolate before saying. “And I am here because you have a shitload of work coming up so someone has to keep you in line. I don’t get paid the big bucks for nothing you know. ”

  “You are too good to me Lauren.” I laughed at the brutal honesty of my assistant. “I’m going to go and lock myself away for the day. Come and get me if you need anything and tell me as soon as those contracts arrive.”

  “Will do.”

  I left Lauren tapping away at her computer and slipped into my office. Monday morning blues were hitting me at an alarming rate and my motivation to work was running for the hills and taking my fucked-up brain with it. I collapsed into my chair with an oomph. and opened my emails, scanning for anything urgent, but I was drawn to Facebook and before I could control what I was typ
ing into the search bar, Eden Rivers’ profile was glaring back at me.

  What I had chosen to omit on Friday night was that I already knew her, and I sure as hell knew her name wasn’t Kellie fucking Carter. Fuck that pissed me off. Eden Rivers had been on my radar for longer than most people realized and it took everything that I was not to call her out on it but I also knew that she would possibly freak the fuck out and I didn’t want that.

  I leaned back in my chair and looked out over the city. How was I going to explain this to her? The fact that she was in the city was partially my doing, however she wasn’t meant to be here yet. As far as I knew she was arriving on Wednesday. The realization that this was going to get messy set in, but there was no way I could back down now, not after she barreled herself into my life.

  I clicked on the glowing X and Facebook disappeared before me.

  Before I knew it morning turned into afternoon and afternoon into night. This was my life. Anderson Publications. I spent way too much time in this exact position; sitting in my obnoxiously large chair behind my way too conceited desk in my expansive office. I was a workaholic, and I would be the first to admit it. The buzz of an incoming text vibrated on my desk, and I smiled as I saw Ashlyn’s name flash before me.

  Ashlyn: Let’s grab dinner. I want to get pizza at Joey’s.

  I looked at my watch and the thought of digging into a pizza made my stomach roar to life.

  Ky: I’ll meet you there at eight.

  Ashlyn: Look at us two leaving work before midnight.

  Ky: What is becoming of us?

  An hour later I walked through the doors of Joey’s and I was greeted with loud chatter and the saliva inducing smell of fresh pizza and garlic. I scanned the room, finally spotting Ashlyn sitting in a booth in the far corner tapping away on her phone, no doubt working as she waited. Ashlyn looked up when I reached the table and greeted me with a killer watt smile which I returned before kissing her on the cheek and sliding in the booth opposite her.

  “I didn’t think you’d show,” she teased, turning over her phone as to not be interrupted.

  “What and leave you desperate and dateless? Please. I am a gentleman.”

  “Well that’s true; your gentleman qualities were on full display Friday night,” she taunted with a wink.

  So, we are getting straight to it.

  I rolled my eyes as my back stiffened. This was a conversation I did not wish to have in the middle of a restaurant. I grabbed for the menu, but it was ripped from my fingertips. I looked up to be greeted by Ashlyn smirking across from me. “Seriously Ash, I just got here. Are we really going to do this now?”

  She leaned over the table, dropping her voice. “What was Friday night all about?”

  I narrowed my eyes and knew this conversation was going to happen right here, right now. We were equally stubborn, like two bulls locking horns, and I knew neither of us would back down. The arguments the two of us had were explosive and unpredictable—they often led to days of no contact—but it was critical to the structure of what our relationship was made of. It was what allowed our friendship to work. We tested each other constantly, and we refused to accept each other’s bullshit. To be honest, it was a breath of fresh air.

  Through clenched teeth, I glared at her, throwing every ounce of my frustration her way. I was hungry, irritated, and tired. Fuck it! I would give in to her banter…Just this once.

  “I had to do something. He is a fucking asshole.” The thought of Chris touching Eden made my hands fist on the table. A reaction Ashlyn didn’t miss.

  “So you had to beat your chest like a caveman and go and save the girl?”

  “Ashlyn, you know why I did what I did. I couldn’t just stand there and—” I swallowed hard as anger roared to life within me, and I had to take back control. “Can we just order a damn pizza and talk about something else?”

  “Don’t go back there Ky. Nothing was ever your fault and you need to stop living with this whole hero mentality. It’s fucking with your head.” She grabbed my hand from across the table and squeezed it tightly.

  “Pepperoni or mushroom?” I growled, shooting her a warning look. This conversation was over.

  With a huff, Ashlyn let go of my hand and crossed her arms over her chest. Our stormy eyes battled each other. The woman sitting opposite me knew me better than I knew myself. She knew everything about me, and that frightened the living shit out of me. She knew every piece of my jagged puzzle, every reason why I was what she lovingly called a ‘no’ guy. More importantly, yet most frightening, was that she knew things that could bring everything unglued. Was I afraid she would divulge the information she had on me? No. Was I afraid that I would do something to fuck everything up? Absolutely.

  Once we placed our order, we called a truce and talked about our day. I listened as Ashlyn divulged secrets of the latest up-and-coming pop star that she had been hired to style, and she listened as I discussed the upcoming cover shoot and special featuring some of the most exciting bands in the US.

  “Shit,” Ashlyn suddenly mumbled, her eyes darting toward the door. I shifted in my seat, glancing over my shoulder and almost choked on my soda. Eden casually walked into the restaurant, her chocolate brown hair falling down her back under a cream beanie. Her laughter was the only thing I heard. Her arm was linked with Tori’s as they made their way toward the counter. I was totally engrossed. Her eyes scanned around the restaurant, and the moment our eyes connected, the faintest of smiles filtered over her perfectly pink pout.

  “Kellie!” Ashlyn’s excited voice broke my thoughts, and I looked at her like she was the craziest woman to grace the earth. “Over here.”

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I hissed between clenched teeth.

  Eden moved through the crowded pizzeria toward Ashlyn and me. What the hell was Ashlyn thinking and why the fuck did she continue to call her Kellie? I tried my hardest to avoid looking at her, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was swimming into dangerous territory, but there was no way in hell that I wanted to get out of this current. Eden walked with grace, elegance, and confidence. This girl making her way toward us was so different from the one I left on Friday night. She confused the hell out of me. Her eyes never left me, and I swallowed hard under her gaze. What the fuck was this?

  “Hey Ashlyn.” She smiled sweetly at Ashlyn and then turned to me. “Hi.”

  “Hey.” My voice was rough. Both Ashlyn and Eden turned to stare at me. Ky Crawford never got nervous under the gaze of women, but now I felt like I was sweating bullets. “I need to go and make a call.”

  I slipped out of the booth and moved toward the corner of the room, away from the piercing watch of Eden Rivers, or Kellie, fuck this was confusing. I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her and say, I know you are Eden Rivers and I know you’ll be sitting in my office in a few days’ time. I collapsed into a vacant seat and pulled out my phone. Scrolling through my emails, I went to my draft folder and saw the exact email that had been playing on my mind all day. Opening the draft email, my eyes darted over the words as the battle of want against conscious began. If I sent this email there was no turning back yet if I didn’t send this email then I’d never know who Eden Rivers was.

  From: ky@andersonpublications.com

  To: edenriversphotography@gmail.com

  Time: 20.25pm

  Subject: Meeting request

  Eden,

  This is an email to confirm your attendance on Thursday November 16th at three pm.

  Kindest of Regards,

  Ky.

  “What’s going through that head of yours?” Tori questioned, giving me the worried look that I had witnessed so many times before.

  After five days on the East Coast, Tori was heading back home, ultimately leaving me to my own devices. I knew this time was coming quickly, but I didn’t want to believe that it was here. I had become so reliant on her. Tori and I sat on the edge of the pier, our legs dangling over the edge, our shoulders wrapped in a
blanket as the cool air swirled around us. Silence fell, and I knew the moment I spoke, my emotions would bubble over.

  “I don’t want you to go.” I finally admitted, my voice cracking.

  “Babe, you will see me in a little over five weeks. Honestly, I think this will be great for you. This opportunity is freaking amazing, and you’ve been working toward this for years. This is your dream so live it.”

  Tori’s head fell to my shoulder, and we sat in silence as we looked out over the white crested waves of the ocean. The chill in the air shocked me to life; it smacked me in the face and made me feel awaken to the world that was revolving around me.

  The thought of being away from Tori petrified me. She was like the glue that kept me together, kept me moving forward, and the thought of her not being with me made me fearful that I would dissolve into pits of despair and take two steps back.

  Tori sighed softly beside me. “Remember that Josh guy, Ashlyn’s friend? He was hands down the best cock I’ve ever had. I am still feeling him. That is the sign of a good fucking.”

  And just like that Tori lightened my mood.

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t often wish that could be me—so carefree, so open, and so honest. The thought of being able to open up myself to the idea of having a man who could, as Tori would say, be the best fuck I’d ever have was something that had crossed my mind but I had squashed the thought immediately. To make love was a myth; to be cherished was the complete opposite of what I allowed in my life. Over the past four years there had only been one guy who got close, and that was because I had absolute trust in him. He was my best friend and had slipped into the role of being my pretend boyfriend when we went out. Colby Andrews was my protector, my conscience, and the only guy who I had allowed to touch me. In my despair as I slipped into a state of complete devastation, he had wrapped me in my arms, rocked me until I settled, and then spent the night showing me exactly that I wasn’t completely destroyed.