Craving You (TBX #2)

by Ashley Christin

  “If I’m bare, you better pray you are.” Before I can process his statement, he pulls down my panties exposing me.

  “Mmmm, I’m not disappointed.” A predatory look shining in his eyes, he leans over me until I’m pressed against the bed. “Do you have any condoms?”

  “I’m on birth control. As long as you haven’t fucked any strange since the last time we were together, we’re good.” My joke is also a test. Has he fucked anyone else?

  “I said you’re mine. That goes both ways.” I don’t have the heart to tell him that I kissed Derek or that I can’t let this be anything more than what it is, a quick fuck. My need for him is consuming me more than any rational thought.

  “Okay,” falls from my lips with a soft breath, and at my acceptance, he pushes into me. Every time we connect it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It feels like he’s where he belongs, which is foolish I know. Slowly, he slides in and out of me making me rise higher and higher. When we’re together like this, he makes me feel things I’ve never felt. Wholeness, confidence, safety, wanted, and for the briefest of movements at just the right peak of time, loved.

  “Kelsey, it’s not my fault. I don’t want to, but fuck, I crave you.” His confession sends chills over my body and causes my want to escalate.

  “I’m here, right here. Now, fuck me, soft and sweet.” My voice is hoarse and needy with my admission.

  Warm lips brush over mine. “Anything you want.”

  I have a feeling this is a side of Parker that few, if any, have ever seen. I love and hate that he is showing it to me. He should show it to someone who can become what he needs, what he craves. Not someone who is ripped apart from the inside out. No healthy relationship is in my future. No happily ever after for me; it doesn’t exist in my bloodline.

  Parker

  She’s complicating this. I can see it all over her beautiful face. She doesn’t hide her emotions well, so it’s easy to see past the want in her eyes. It’s been a wild ride with her. Over the past four months, this girl has taken me from Playboy to PlayStation. That’s all I do anymore besides ride or party without getting a girl. The last girl I was out with was Sam, and that blew up in my face.

  “Yes!” The ecstasy playing across her face mixed with her milking my cock sends me into my own release. Wrapping my arms around her, I turn us over in the bed. My legs intertwine with hers, and she sighs heavily. “You should go.” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

  “I’m not leaving, Kelsey.” She snuggles further into her pillow and away from me with another sigh.

  “Is this all you wanted from me? A quick fuck?” Now, I’m irritated. The common ground I thought we’d found is crumbling beneath me. Kelsey sits up on her bed with the sheet clinging to her bare chest. “Are you blind? Of course, that’s what I want from Parker Taylor.” She laughs a hollow laugh.

  “You’re fuckin’ lyin’.” I’m fuckin’ livid right now and the bark of my voice shows it.

  “Hate to break it to you, but I’m fuckin’ serious. It’s time you go back to your room. This has to be over.” Has to be? Says who?

  “So you’re just going to act like I mean nothing to you?” Listen to me. Since when does a girl get me this fucked up in the head?

  “Parker, get out of my bed and go to yours.” She dodges the question.

  “Sweetne-”

  “Don’t.” Her palm inches from my face.

  “You can call me Kelsey and get the hell out of my room.” It’s as if I can see the walls slamming back into place and the ice seeping in to harden her heart from me. The warmth I saw in her eyes is now gone.

  She’s fuckin’ rippin’ my dick off and handin’ it to me askin’ me to take it to my ‘room.’

  Stepping out of the bed and walking right up to her, I fume, “Go ahead and shut down on me, sweetness. You’ll be back, as I’ve said before, but now it has a big FUCK YOU in front of it. I won’t be waiting for you to get your shit together.”

  With that statement, I make my way to the bathroom door; when I reach the handle, her voice is set in stone. “You shouldn’t. I’m not worth the wait.” Passing through the threshold, I return back to my room unwilling to deal with the aftermath of not having her in my life the way I need her.

  Kelsey

  “You wanna to go grab dinner with Savannah and Hannah before the party tonight?” Brealynn eases into my room after knocking on my door. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping the knock was Parker. There’s a slight possibility I was too harsh last night. Maybe overwhelmed by my feelings for him. Like, legit feelings for him. Not just hate. I know your face is shocked right now. Imagine how I feel.

  “Party?” Shit. I had totally forgot about the party.

  “Yeah, the boys are throwing a kegger. You knew this. What’s up with you today?” Hmm. What’s wrong with me? I pushed away the only boy who came close to me, that’s what. Ugh.

  “Just distracted.”

  “Does this have anything to do with Parker?” Did he tell Colt about last night? “Don’t look at me like that. I know you two have something going-”

  “No. We don’t.” I cut her off before she even gets started. My phone begins ringing, and I glance at it with hope. Pathetic. After putting up one finger and a glare to silence my best friend, my finger swipes answer on the screen.

  “Hey, Mom.” Brealynn’s eyes almost pop out of the socket at my greeting. As they should, I hardly ever hear from my mom. Considering it’s still another month until my birthday, I’m suspicious. My mother greets me back and proceeds to tell me about her new fiancé and how this time it’s true love. I should sigh at how perfect their love story sounds, but instead, I cringe. There is no such thing as true love. She should know this better than anyone. I congratulate her through clenched teeth. She called to ask me to be in the wedding two months from now. Maid of honor.

  “Mom, I don’t know. School will be starting back up by then, and my schedule will be heavy.” The last thing I want to do is be paraded through another wedding. What is this now? Her seventh? I’ve lost count.

  “Please, Kelsey! It would mean so much to me. I promise you that he’s it for me. I want Brealynn to be in the wedding too. A bridesmaid. Please, please consider it.” Caving, I promise her I’ll consider it and let her know within the next month. Once she brags about her new fiancé for a few more minutes, I rush her off the line.

  “Another marriage?” Brealynn questions unbelievably.

  “Yup. She wants us both in it—me the maid of honor. How fuckin’ hilarious is that?” Laughing so hard, I snort, and Brea and I both break out into a fit of laughter. I’m losing my mind. I don’t know how to feel, but laughing feels good.

  No Parker today. How sad is that? It’s like my life is resetting to revolve around him. I’d like to talk to him, to tell him I’m sorry for last night and for being such a cold-hearted bitch. I was just so overwhelmed with emotions, emotions for him. That’s all I need to tell him, and he would be running for the hills. Me telling Parker I have emotions for you and then him running wildly away runs through my mind and I feel my cheeks rise in a smile.

  My eyes rise from the couch to see who just walked in the front door, boom, Parker. All the air leaves my lungs and there’s no way my eyes will leave him. He must have been riding all day. He’s sweaty in his riding gear, green helmet in hand. The majority of the time, Parker is put together perfectly, but when he’s been riding, he’s rough and raw and I love it. When he walks past the couch, brown eyes look right through me while throwing his helmet forcefully down beside me, as if I’m not sitting here, and he proceeds into the kitchen. Following his movements like a moving security camera, he stalks over to the cabinet and grabs a cup then begins filling it with water. His eyes find mine again before he starts chugging the water. Deep, long gulps, his Adam’s apple working through the liquid and my libido. Slamming the cup down, he looks toward me again.

  “What?” His deep voice booms through the quiet house. Colt
and Brealynn went to pick the keg up for tonight. It’s mid-afternoon and everyone is out, everyone but me and now Parker. I gulp down my insecurities as he stares. I can see the tick in his jaw from here as he studies me. Untangling myself from the couch, I stand. His eyes watching my every move, I walk toward him. Damn, he looks good.

  Stop thinking about him that way, Kelsey! You’re just apologizing and moving on your merry way.

  “I’m sorry about last night, Parker.” I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with him and the desire to run out the back door is strong.

  “I don’t care what you’re sorry about, Kelsey.” He emphasizes my name while spitting it at me like poison then walks past me, dismissively.

  “I can’t handle these feelings I have for you! There, are you happy now, asshole!” Parker stops mid-stride, his back to me. My fingers cover my mouth before more word vomit falls out. His breathing has picked up, and when Parker turns around, the look in his eyes melts me on the spot. Stalking toward me, he grips my face and kisses me. He kisses me so hard and passionate that I forget where we are, who we are. Our tongues collide and fight for one another. At this moment, I feel every bit of emotion he has for me, and I’m rammed in the chest with emotions that can’t be named.

  Pulling away, we both allow ourselves time to breathe. “You going to give us a chance, sweetness?” I take a moment to absorb his words.

  Us.

  No, nononononono. There can never be an us. I can’t allow myself to fall down that rabbit hole. The same one my mom has been lost in for years. No. I won’t do that. The look in my eyes must give him a sign of what’s going through my brain. His arms leave my face, and he takes a step back. I feel the loss of his heat instantly and whimper inside.

  “You don’t want me. You sure about that?”

  “I can’t want you, Parker, and trust me when I tell you, you don’t want me.” He gives me that panty-dropping smirk, and I’m tempted to drop them, but I don’t. I show some restraint. I’m a lady, dammit.

  “If that’s what you want.” I’m confused by the look on his face. It’s like he has won a prize I’m unaware of.

  “That’s just how it has to be.” Brealynn and Colt come barging through the door in laughter. I plaster a fake smile on my face and join them in the living room.

  There’s a party tonight I need to get ready for. It’s time to prove to Parker he needs to move on from me and get under someone else.

  Parker

  All the students who are still in town for the summer have been showing up for a few hours now. Kelsey has stuck close to Brealynn tonight so far. She won’t get within a few feet of me. Avoiding me like a damn leper. I’ll have her soon, though. Her little admission today shook me. The bitch queen has feelings and for me, of all people. That works out since I have those same feelings for her. I just have to make her realize it, which is why you don’t need to get pissed at me for what I’m about to do. It’s for her own good.

  Throwing my arms around Karina, she giggles and smiles up at me. “Hey!”

  I met her earlier in the party. She seems fun, and she’s hot, so why not? I notice Kelsey look over at me from the corner of the living room, her eyes growing wide at my placement around Karina. Leaning down so my whisper can reach Karina’s ear, I say, “Kiss me.” A simple command that any girl I touch follows; well, all but Kelsey.

  Her lips rush to mine in a hurried attempt to wrap her arms around my neck. Soon, her tongue is darting into my mouth. Whoa. Didn’t want to take it this far, but when my eyes open to look at Kelsey, she’s fuming. Flashing a cocky smile as Karina pulls my bottom lip into her mouth. With a pop, my lip releases, and Kelsey stares daggers at me. Keeping the fake cockiness on my face while Karina whispers sexy promises she would like to follow through with me. My dick doesn’t even move.

  Lifting my head back up to Kelsey’s direction, I now have two angry sets of eyes staring daggers at me. Shit. Brealynn grabs her hand and drags her through the house, away from me.

  I haven’t seen Kelsey in a while. Maybe I took it too far? Nah, my drunk brain informs me. Once Karina learned that I wasn’t interested, she finally left my side and found a new man to make out with. Rounding the corner back into the living room, my eyes are assaulted. Kelsey is sitting on the couch with some fuckin’ guy, making out. FUCK ME. This backfired tremendously.

  Stalking away from the living room is my only option or else I’ll lose my shit. I’m too pretty to serve jail time. When I reach the top of the stairs, Tim is playing pool with my little sister, Jamie, and her friends. We decided if she’s going to get wasted, she might as well be where her big brothers are.

  “I got winner.” I need something to help distract me and regroup. A hard shove to my shoulder jolts me forward.

  The fuck?

  “I hate you!” Kelsey yells, drawing attention to us. Grabbing her arm in a hurry, I drag her into the nearest room, which happens to be mine.

  “No, you don’t.” My voice is stern. When will she stop lying to herself? She has unshed tears in her eyes, and it tugs at my heart. Fuck.

  “I just wanted you to know that I hate your guts and I’m going to fuck him tonight. Do you hear me? I’m going to fuck you right out of my system!” Turning for the door, I grab her arm.

  “The fuck you are!” I say, roaring like a lion. Over my dead body will she fuck him.

  Kelsey freezes for a second under my anger. “Watch me!” Freeing from my grip, she runs out of my room and down the stairs.

  “You better fuckin’ not!” Yeah, that was my brilliant threat.

  Sitting down on my bed, I gather my fuckin’ self together before I do actually end up in jail. This fuckin’ woman brings out emotions in me I never knew existed. If she fucks him ... FUCK … I won’t be able to handle it. A stabbing pain shoots through my chest at the thought. What the fuck is that feeling? Is it a heart attack? Oh shit, I’m having a heart attack! My anxiety over having a heart attack voids out the feeling, and it’s soon replaced with anger again.

  She can’t be with him if she has nowhere to go to. Digging under my bed, I pull out my toolbox and head toward her room.

  Kelsey

  I just threw up my heart – by the lump in my throat. I do want to vomit. The nerve. Here I am, just minding my own business, and then, BAM, he kisses some chick. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. ME. What’s this I feel? Jealousy? I gasp. Why do I even care? Caring is so- exhausting. When Parker smiles that cocky ass smile of his at me- with another girl’s teeth clenching his lip- I lose my shit. He has flipped my bitch switch sending sparks flying all over the living room. Brealynn’s fingers grip my bicep pulling me away from the crime scene that is my sex life before my brain can manage another coherent thought.

  Smack! “Snap out of it!” I look at her shocked and grabbing my cheek to help numb the sting. “I’m sorry, Kels, but you were losing it there for a second.” She’s right.

  “I can’t believe he kissed that girl - right in front of me. I feel … oh, damn …” Rushing to the sink, my empty stomach contracts as I dry heave. A small hand rubs up and down my back comforting me while the other holds the brown strands of hair out of my face. The music switches over to another song as people buzz around us, none paying any attention to the ‘drunk’ girl in the sink. Kelsey’s breakdown of the century is happening right in front of their eyes. Bastards.

  “You’re going to put yourself back together, Kels. Once you do, you are going to go find someone else. You need to give him a dose of his own medicine.” She’s right, again. I’ve kissed Derek, but it wasn’t spiteful and damn sure not in front of him. My stomach sank to the lowest depths when my eyes landed on his smirk with her lips still attached.

  “Yeah, okay.” Lifting my head out of the sink with as much grace as possible, I right my posture before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

  “He’s being such a prick.” The growl in Brealynn’s voice helps cement my spine while I collect myself and walk back out into the party with
a new mission: Boy Toy.

  My body feels warm, and if I l decided to look in the mirror, I’m sure the gray in my eyes would have a nice shiny glaze to them. However, I don’t want to judge myself for what I’m about to do, so that’s why I just drank my weight in keg beer.

  The target in question: Brad Cunningham.

  He’s cute, in a good boy kind of way. Blond hair and stunning green eyes, he isn’t lacking in the looks department. He’s the exact opposite of him -who should not be named. Batting my eyelashes and praying to the heavens I don’t look like a stroke patient, my body moves to travel the few feet to speak with Brad, who’s been eye fucking me for the past twenty minutes it has taken me to arrive at this numb state.

  “Kelsey Whitten, what a beautiful sight you are.” Ever the ladies’ man, he is.

  “You’re not so bad yourself.” Sliding up next to his stocky build, a fake feeling but what I hope is a convincing smile takes over my face. Eyeing Brealynn from across the room, she gives me a knowing smile. Colt glances in our direction, his icy stare penetrating through me before he excuses himself. Walking away from their group, he heads into the kitchen. I don’t know what his deal is. His brother is the asshole, not me.

  Brad talks on and on about … well, him. The next half hour, I learn all about Mr. Cunningham without having another drink, and my buzz is wearing off quick. His major is business. His daddy owns a nationwide gun store that he plans on saddling up with right after graduation. Brad has his arm slung around my shoulder. Parker walks past us not once looking in my direction. I smile, lean in, and laugh like my life depends on it right before my lips hurriedly meet his. Startled, Brad quickly recovers and an arm snakes around my lower back, pressing me to his body. Cracking one eye open as he assaults my mouth, I locate Parker heading up the stairs to the game room, unaffected. He can just walk right by me making out with someone else? It doesn’t fucking gut him like it did to me? Untangling myself, the effect of what I just did hits me hard. I feel dirty and used, even if I was the one using Brad. It just doesn’t feel right. This feeling—the dirt I want to wash off my body, grime that’s seeping into my blood, this label on my forehead that reads easy—is what I’ve tried my hardest to avoid. I use them and toss them aside before they can do the same to me.