Rock-A-Bye Baby

by Debbie Macomber

  “You didn’t have to come bowling,” Laura shyly insisted.

  “Yes, I did,” Charley countered with the hint of a frown. “It was either that or risk the chance you’d spend the evening with Doug instead of me.”

  Once more, Laura’s smiling gaze drifted to Dani. It made Dani feel as if she were some sort of expert in the matter of love, when nothing could be farther from the truth. Her own life was evidence of that. She’d fallen flat on her face when it came to her relationship with Bob.

  Bob.

  It used to be, when she thought about her ex-fiancé, that her heart would involuntarily clench and a part of her soul ached. There’d been a time, in the not-so-distant past, when the mere mention of his name would produce a bout of spontaneous tears she’d struggled to hide.

  No longer.

  The cure had come in the form of a certain shop owner, another of the walking wounded. A man who’d trod the path of broken dreams and found his way through the maze of disappointments.

  Working with John hadn’t cured her broken heart, not exactly. But he’d helped her center her focus, not in the fog of her pain, but toward the future.

  At one time Dani had loved Bob, truly loved him; at least, she’d convinced herself of that. Now she realized that what she’d fallen in love with was the dream. She hungered for a husband and children, and Bob had played nicely into the idyllic picture she’d created. He’d seemed so wonderful, so genuine and sincere. He’d insisted that her dreams had been his own. Perhaps they were, in some small way.

  “How about coffee?” Charley suggested after the match. He tucked the bowling ball away, and casually draped his arm over Laura’s shoulders.

  “Not tonight, but thanks.” John reached for Dani’s hand and lightly squeezed it. As soon as their friends were out of earshot, he asked, “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Not really.” She didn’t object, but she was curious. Charley and Laura had been the ones who’d suggested this outing. When Dani mentioned it to John, he’d readily agreed.

  John seemed unusually quiet on the ride back to her small rental house. To her surprise, he drove past it.

  “You just missed my house.”

  “I know,” he answered, turning the corner, and heading for the beach. “I thought we might enjoy a walk along the ocean.”

  “That would be wonderful.” And romantic. John hadn’t kissed her since Saturday evening, but then, there hadn’t been much opportunity, either. They hadn’t been alone more than a few minutes at a stretch. It had disappointed her that they’d been so busy at the shop that there wasn’t time for them.

  Bowling was an excuse to be together and they’d both welcomed it. Or so she’d like to think. But in retrospect, she realized that although John had joked and laughed and given the appearance that he was having a good time, something was on his mind.

  John parked the car at the beach. His hand gripped the steering wheel and he kept his face averted. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” He turned and their eyes met. Even in the dark, with only the glow of a half-moon illuminating the night, Dani could read the intensity in his eyes.

  “You have?” The temperature in the car seemed to heat up by several degrees.

  John’s hand lovingly cupped her face. He closed his eyes and Dani was convinced she heard him moan.

  “Let’s walk,” he said, thrusting open the car door, and climbing out of the vehicle.

  “All right.”

  His hand held hers as they strolled along the shore.

  They’d gone for some time before she said, “I thought you wanted to talk.”

  “I do.”

  “We could have talked at my house, too, you know,” she teased.

  “I don’t think so.” His pace slowed and he stopped and stared down at her. “I’m afraid if we’d gone back to your house we’d have ended up making love.”

  Her face went pink. “Oh.”

  “I trust myself to behave while we’re in public, but even that’s becoming iffy. I’m not certain where this relationship is headed, but before matters go any further I need to be sure you want the same things I do.”

  “Oh…” Dani couldn’t stop looking at the man bathed in moonlight. It didn’t seem possible that it was the same one who’d grumbled and complained about her just a few weeks earlier. “Couldn’t you just kiss me first?” she asked, wanting him so much it was difficult not to take the initiative herself. She struggled to keep from throwing her arms around him. “I promise we can talk later.”

  His kiss revealed the depth of his hunger. By the time he eased his lips from hers, Dani felt drained and exhilarated and desperate for more of the same.

  “John… please,” she whimpered when he outlined her mouth with the tip of his tongue.

  He groaned and wrapped his arms around her, his grip viselike. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

  “What wasn’t?” she asked, spreading kisses along the underside of his jaw.

  “It would be best if we stopped.”

  “Best for whom?” She leaned her body into his, loving the hard feel of him.

  “Dani… I can’t think straight when you’re in my arms, and we need to talk.”

  Dani smiled to herself. She couldn’t very well say she hadn’t noticed, because she had. Knowing she was the reason produced a keen sense of satisfaction.

  “You’re sure you want to talk?” she asked, nibbling on his ear.

  “Yes…no.” He drew in his breath.

  “There’s no need to be so serious.” It was in her mind that he would suggest that they take this attraction wherever it would lead them. It was in her heart that he might suggest that they think along the lines of making their relationship permanent.

  “I was thinking…”

  “Yes,” she purred.

  John cleared his throat and put some distance, very little, between them. “That it might be a good idea if you found another job.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Dani didn’t sleep all that night. She vacillated between outrage and tears. First, she would pace the compact bedroom, counting the hours before she could confront John and tell him exactly what she thought of him. Then she would tire and her anger would dissolve into a rough-edged pain.

  To his credit, John claimed he had a list of excellent reasons why he’d come to this conclusion. Not that she’d given him the chance to list a single one. She’d been too hurt, too shocked, too furious for that.

  In the end she’d insisted on walking back to her house. Alone. He hadn’t allowed her even that one display of pride. She’d walked, all right, but he followed her in his car with his window rolled down, and attempted to reason with her. The man should have recognized she was in no mood for reason. He insisted that he’d talk to her in the morning, then had the audacity to park outside her home until he was assured she was safely inside.

  Well, it was morning and she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of John Osborn.

  Dani sat at her kitchen table and covered her face with her hands. She didn’t know how she would pay her bills. That wasn’t entirely true. Since she’d started doing John’s window displays, several shopkeepers had approached her at one time or another about doing displays for them. Dani knew without asking that no one shop could afford her full-time. It had occurred to her once before that it would be a simple enough task to form her own business.

  She would, she decided.

  She sipped her coffee, and wondered why she didn’t feel any better. Financially she should be able to work everything out. It wasn’t the lack of a job that plagued her, although that was what she’d centered her thoughts on during the long, sleepless night.

  No, it was the feeling of betrayal she’d felt when John casually announced he was letting her go. To be fair, she hadn’t stood around for him to explain. As far as she was concerned, she’d heard all she’d wanted. It had hurt and the pain had cut deep.

  Dani studied the kitchen clock and wondered what John would do
when she didn’t show up for work that morning. He hadn’t said if he intended for her termination to be effective immediately.

  What she hoped, what she wanted, was for John to come for her. He apparently was patiently waiting for her to arrive at the shop.

  In his dreams. It wasn’t likely that he’d stop by and see her, either. If this morning was typical of the way business had been the last two weeks, John would be swamped the minute he opened.

  By ten, Dani had changed her sheets, washed the kitchen floor and cleaned out the refrigerator. She’d worked up a sweat, venting her frustrations.

  The doorbell chimed, and with her heart racing, she removed the yellow rubber gloves and headed for the front door.

  So he’d come, after all. Good. She felt better already. Dani had worked matters out in her mind. The morning hadn’t been a waste. If anything, it had helped her clear her thoughts so that she knew exactly what she planned to say to her employer. Ex-employer, she reminded herself.

  Dani couldn’t have been more prepared had she written out a speech. What she didn’t anticipate was the man who stood on the other side of the door. It wasn’t John.

  It was Bob.

  His smile was filled with boyish charm. “Aren’t you going to invite me inside?” he asked.

  He really was a handsome devil, Dani was willing to admit, but she realized how artificial good looks could be. It seemed impossible that she could have loved this man so intensely. She stared at him, wondering what it was that had fascinated her.

  “Dani?”

  “Hello, Bob,” she said, recovering awkwardly. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “Can I come inside?”

  She lifted her shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “If you want.” Holding open the screen door for him, she allowed him to pass. To her way of thinking, he wouldn’t be staying long, so she kept the door open.

  “What can I do for you?” she asked stiffly, and folded her arms.

  “You’re looking great,” he said with a wide grin. He made himself at home. He sat on her sofa and crossed his muscular legs, resting his ankle on top of his knee. “I don’t suppose you have any coffee brewed.”

  “I don’t.”

  “I could really use a cup.”

  “Then I suggest you go buy yourself one,” she said without emotion. It surprised her how indifferent she felt toward him. In the beginning, she’d fantasized about such a meeting between the two of them. In her mind’s eye she had the supreme pleasure of tossing him out of her home and out of her life. Now that he was actually with her, the only emotion she felt was pity and sadness for the time she’d wasted on him.

  Bob’s eyes widened as though her words had hurt him. “I’d hoped we could talk without the anger,” he said gently, and held out his hand to her. “Sit down, please. There’s so much to say…I don’t know where to start.”

  She stood exactly where she was. “There’s nothing left between us,” she said, and if any emotion stirred within her, it was more sadness.

  Bob briefly bowed his head as if seeking some greater wisdom. “I’d hoped that given time you’d come to your senses.”

  “Me?” she cried, flattening her hand across her chest.

  “I gave you the space and the freedom I felt you needed,” he continued. “Now I can’t help wondering if I did the right thing.” A pained look crossed his face. “No matter what you think, Dani, letting you out of my life hurt like hell.”

  It was all she could do to keep from rolling her eyes.

  “When you settled out here, I decided to give you three or four months to mull everything over. I felt that in that time frame you might come to realize that what we had was too special, too wonderful, to throw out the window.”

  “I wasn’t the one who blew it, Bob.”

  “True, true,” he said, holding up both hands. “I accept full responsibility for what happened. I was a fool, and I’ll be the first one to admit it. I made a mistake, Dani. Albeit, it was a doozy, but I’ve learned my lesson. I have, darling. I swear by everything I hold dear that it’ll never happen again.”

  “It’s too late.” It gave her no degree of satisfaction in telling him this. “It’s over, Bob.”

  He did an excellent job of looking as if her news had crushed him. “Is it because of John Osborn?”

  Dani stiffened. “What do you know about John?”

  Bob shifted uncomfortably in his seat and glanced away. “Nothing much…. I’d heard rumors about the two of you. Something completely ridiculous about you two becoming engaged.”

  He had people watching her, Dani realized, and fumed.

  “I knew the minute I heard you were engaged that it couldn’t possibly be true, but I came to check it out.” He laughed lightly as if the notion made no sense whatsoever. “I met the man this morning and I’m here to tell you, there’s no way the two of you…” He paused when he saw her fierce look.

  “You saw John this morning?”

  “Well, yes. I expected to find you at the antiques store.”

  “Did you introduce yourself?” she asked.

  “Of course I did.” He said this as if it was the only gentlemanly thing to do. Funny it never occurred to him that fidelity had honor, as well.

  “What did John say?” Dani found this to be of far more concern than how the two reacted to each other.

  Bob’s shoulders stiffened. “In the beginning he wasn’t going to tell me anything about you.” He paused and straightened the knot of his tie. “But I set Osborn straight. Really, Dani, I can’t imagine you with this kind of man.”

  “And why not?” She braced her fists against her hips.

  “Well, he’s…unsuitable.”

  “For whom?” she demanded. “John Osborn is worth ten of you. He’s a man of character and honor. I can tell you right now that John would never think to cheat anyone. He’s honest and fair and intelligent and kind….”

  Bob stared at her in horror. “You are in love with him?”

  “Yes.” She wasn’t going to deny it.

  “But…”

  “I’ve decided I must never have loved you,” Dani said, cutting him off. “I can only assume I was in love with the idea of being in love.

  “I couldn’t have fallen so quickly or so hard for John if I’d truly loved you,” she admitted without malice. “I don’t think I realized what it was to feel this strongly for a man until I met John.” Even as she said the words, she recognized the truth of them.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “Oh, Bob, don’t you know me at all? Do you honestly think I would make something like this up?”

  He stared at her as if he wasn’t sure what to believe any longer. Finally he rubbed a hand down his face and stood. “I’d hoped…” He paused, his disappointment evident. “But I can see that you’ve made up your mind.”

  “Yes, I have.”

  His eyes met hers. “You could do better than Osborn.”

  “Better?” she cried, shaking her head in wonder. Bob was far more obtuse than she’d realized. “I don’t know what John feels for me, but if he does love me, I’ll go to my grave forever grateful that a man as wonderful as John would love someone like me.”

  Bob glared at her for several moments. “He loves you.”

  Dani’s heart froze. “How can you be so sure?”

  “Just take my word for it, Dani, the man’s crazy about you. Crazy enough to release you from any obligation to him so you’d be free to leave with me if you so desired.”

  She hesitated. So that was the reason he’d fired her. It made an insane kind of sense now, not that she approved. In fact, she deeply disapproved.

  “Perhaps you’re right about there being no future for the two of us,” Bob said and exhaled as though deeply hurt. “We had some good times, though, don’t you think?”

  She nodded, willing to grant him that much.

  “I owe you this one. Just remember in the years to come that I was the one who told you that John l
oves you. Fact is, I went out of my way so you’d know how he felt.” Bob hesitated and frowned. “It doesn’t concern you that he’s never told you how he feels?”

  “No.” After all, she hadn’t told John her feelings, either.

  Bob shrugged. “I’ll leave, since that’s what you seem to want.” A sadness sneaked into his eyes once more. “I only want the best for you, Dani. You might not believe this, but I do love you.”

  Dani did believe it. In his own way, as much as he could, Bob did care for her.

  The two briefly hugged and then he was gone.

  Dani changed out of her shorts and sleeveless blouse as fast as her trembling hands would allow. Her mind was on John every minute of the drive over to the antiques store.

  When she entered the shop, she noticed that he was with a customer. His gaze found hers, and it seemed as if everything faded from view but the man who stood no more than a few feet from her. John was reluctantly pulled back to the customer and the conversation. Fortunately, the man left two minutes later.

  Without another word, John stepped into the back room and a moment later his mother appeared. Mamie’s gaze found Dani and she broke into a wide grin.

  John walked over to where Dani stood waiting. “Hello.”

  “Hi.”

  “Are you free for lunch?”

  Eating was the last thing on her mind, but she nodded. “Sure.”

  They walked two doors down and bought thick deli sandwiches. John carried them to the beach and they sat next to each other in the sand. The sea gulls flew overhead and the ocean slapped the shore.

  “I understand you had company this morning,” he said.

  Dani noticed that neither one of them appeared interested in their sandwich. “Yes. Bob stopped by. I take it you gave him my address.”

  John nodded. “So?” he said with a decided lack of composure. “Are the two of you getting back together?”

  “Hardly. It seems grossly unfair to string Bob along when I’m head over heels in love with you.”