Compliant

by M. J. Kaestli

  He returned with two glasses of water and placed one on the table in front of her. This time, he sat on the actual sofa, as opposed to the arm, though he still sat as far from her as he could. He took a few big gulps of water, and as he leaned forward to place the glass down; his hands were trembling slightly.

  He won’t last through two days of this, she thought, and she settled into her seat a little more, feeling much more at ease.

  “So, Freya, how do you feel about the big day tomorrow?” He turned his body somewhat toward her but making sure to forego eye contact. Instead, he looked slightly off to the side, as if he couldn’t bear to look directly at her.

  “The big day? What will be so big about it?” she asked, feigning naiveté. She knew full well that he was referring to going to work for the State, but she wanted to make things as difficult as possible.

  “Uh, you know…your new civil duty, working for the big boss… Most people have never even seen him in person,” he said, motioning to the monitor. When he looked over at it, he saw the message from her inbox, still open, and he began to roll his eyes over it, obviously reading it.

  Freya found that more than a little rude, an absolute invasion of privacy, since the message was clearly intended for her. She could not think of a way to stop him without appearing to be difficult, though, so she just sat there in silence while he read it.

  “High test scores and a history of excellence, huh? See? Poster child! I knew it,” he said, looking kind of smug, as if he thought he was a real genius for working that out. “Hey, they didn’t even tell you my name or anything about me, except where I work.”

  “What should they have told me about you?” She picked up the glass of water.

  “I don’t know. Maybe they could have mentioned that you’ve been paired with this awesome guy who’s really good-looking. They coulda said you’re totally lucky or something,” he said with a shrug.

  Freya was almost sickened by his pathetic attempt to lighten the mood, but she continued to wear the same neutral, polite expression.

  He let out a sigh, realizing his attempt at humor had failed again, since she neither laughed nor responded to his comment. “They could have at least told you my name. It’s Colin, by the way.”

  “What did your notification say about me?” she asked, keeping the formal tone in her voice.

  “Well, about the same. They mentioned your civil duty and said you’d be arriving today. I only know your name because I work in Security. When you arrived, things weren’t set up for you yet. I saw you on the camera, and they told me your name while they were getting everything set up in the system. I went back to my station, and I had a new message saying I got to leave early to come meet you.” Colin suddenly looked unhappy. His shoulders slumped, and his face began to form a pout, as his disappointment washed over him.

  “Hmm. Well, if you work in Security, surely you know what these messages are like and what they do and do not include. Why, then, did you expect mine to be any different?” she pressed.

  He rolled his eyes and made a noise expressing his frustration. “Uh, it was a joke,” he said, throwing his hands up. He then walked back toward the kitchen, with his empty glass in hand. In just a matter of moments, Colin had gone from nervous to disappointed to frustrated, and he now looked aggravated.

  Not bad work for about five minutes, Freya thought. I’ll be rid of him by the end of the day.

  Suddenly, he turned around and looked right at her. “Tell me, Freya, do all poster children lack a sense of humor, or is it just you?” he asked, unable to contain his frustration any longer.

  This was going to be so much easier than Freya could have hoped for. They had hardly met, and already, his tone was hostile, almost mean. She hoped, with everything in her, that the cameras were picking it all up, that someone was watching and already filling out a report. Perhaps they’ll remove me without him even making a formal complaint, she thought. She calmly said to him, “Well, I wouldn’t know. I would think, since you work in Security, you would know more about the personality traits of these poster children you keep referring to, would you not? I didn’t even know of their existence till a few minutes ago,” she responded, working hard to keep her voice even and polite.

  “How the hell did the State choose you as a match for me?” He didn’t quite yell, but he spoke much louder than his normal speech. He ran his hand through his hair, pulling it a little, then started to pace the room. He had gone from aggravated to angry and was not hiding it well.

  Freya expected either a knock on the door or simultaneous messages to land in their inboxes at any moment. She did not care if she was removed from her civil duty, that alleged big honor. She realized it was not just about preferring to live independently; she had a strong dislike for this Colin character. She began to realize the truth in his words, because she also questioned how the State could have possibly made such a grave error in coupling the two of them, such an obvious mismatch. She had not known many males, and she certainly hadn’t met any she liked, but she was sure there had to be a better match out there for her. That thought brought out the rage she had buried. How could they possibly have chosen so poorly for me? How could they expect me to be compliant about this? That feeling made her forget all about her plan to appear innocent on camera, for she was far too angry for that.

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” she spat, bolting to her feet. Her own volume rose as she said, “You think you are the only one disappointed here? Really? Are you that self-absorbed? I should have been matched with a doctor or a scientist, yet here I am, stuck with a babbling idiot!” After the words came out, she was left almost breathless. She, too, began to pace.

  “So I’m a babbling idiot, am I? A lowly little Security officer isn’t good enough for the poster child, huh? Well, at least I have something you don’t.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yeah, personality! You think you’re better than me, Miss High and Mighty? Well, guess what? You’re lucky to be matched with anyone! With that wet-mop personality of yours, you should have ended up in independent living,” he shouted.

  “I would rather be there than here, forced to live with you,” she said with a sneer.

  “Sounds like a better place for you. You could sit by yourself being miserable, instead of making other people miserable too!”

  Freya tried to think of a clever retort, but those thoughts fell short. Why am I yelling at him? she wondered. She knew independent living was a better choice for her, and her placement with Colin was not his fault.

  Just then, a voice came over the intercom. “Colin,” said the Security officer, “you were sent home from your civil duty to get acquainted with your partner, not to fight with her. Please be advised, you have both been flagged for behaving in such a manner. If this behavior continues, you will both be brought in for questioning, which will go on your permanent record. Colin, for you, that would be your second offense.”

  Colin swore and kicked the wall, then resumed pacing, muttering obscenities under his breath.

  Freya sat down on the sofa again. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something odd about the Security officer’s tone. She could have sworn she heard someone snickering in the background. Not only that, but while the tone of the voice was quite formal, it sounded as if the speaker was struggling to hold that tone, as if what was happening was really funny to him. She thought again about what it must have been like to peek in on their meeting, to observe the worst coupling ever, and she realized Security had to be laughing at them. Freya shook her head. Things had worked out even worse than she planned; a passive-aggressive dance that was meant to last for weeks had blown up so rapidly, in a matter of minutes. She looked at Colin and watched him pace for a moment in his Security uniform, and then it hit her: They’re not just laughing because it’s so awful. They’re mocking him because they’re his friends, the people he works with. They’re laughing at him, at his suffering. He’ll probably be relen
tlessly teased at work every day, and it’s my fault, she thought. Guilt began to sink in. Freya was not the only victim of the poor pairing; it was equally unfair to him. He probably came home expecting to find a female who would giggle, flip her hair around and flirt, but he got me instead. She felt horrible, and knew it was time to rethink her plan. There has to be a way to get out of this without being hauled in for questioning and without causing further damage to him.

  “Freya,” Colin finally said, in a soft, careful tone, “will you please come into the bedroom with me?”

  The sympathy and compassion she was feeling for him instantly vanished. If he thought that after all that, she was going to go in the bedroom and let him have his way with her, he was a fool. I’ll kill him if he even tries it! she vowed. Her breathing rapidly increased, her eyes bulged, and white-hot anger coursed through her.

  “Not for that, Freya,” Colin said, holding up his hands. “Please? I’m begging you.”

  She looked at him and noticed that his face held a look of complete defeat. His hands were still up, in a gesture of submission, almost as a promise he would behave. Realizing she didn’t have a choice, she would certainly be taken in for questioning if she blatantly refused, she stood, but she wouldn’t look at him. He walked into the bedroom and waited for her to follow. She selected a spot by the closet, keeping her distance from the big bed.

  Colin closed the door, then walked to the wall by the window and slid down to take a seat on the floor. He gestured for her to sit on the bed.

  Freya, still angry, began to pace the length of the room, still refusing to speak or look at him.

  “Thank you for coming in here.” He sighed, lifted his legs, and curled up, resting his head between his knees. He didn’t look up at her as he continued, “Most people don’t know this, but Security does not have cameras or microphones in the bedrooms of couples.” He sighed again and finally looked up. “They can’t hear us when we’re in here, unless we yell. If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s okay. I just can’t sit out there anymore, knowing they’re watching.”

  Freya’s anger began to dissipate, and the guilt she experienced before started to return. He had checked her out upon her arrival. She suddenly envisioned a roomful of males watching their fight, all laughing at him, probably making commentary on everything he said and did. He seemed so nervous when he first met her, and she thought it was just the normal tension of meeting for the first time, but this shed new light on the situation. She finally sat down on the bed, deciding to make herself comfortable, it was going to be a long day—for both of them. She propped the pillows up against the headboard and leaned back.

  Colin remained on the floor, in less of a ball now, his head resting against the wall, just staring up, with a blank look on his face. When he realized Freya was looking at him, he quickly turned his eyes back on the floor.

  The guilt was really starting to eat at her, especially because he looked so pathetic. “So those were your friends, on the speaker?” She already knew the answer but felt the need to speak to him and couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “Well, they used to be,” he said, and gave a sarcastic laugh. “There’s a good chance I might beat the shit out of a few of them tomorrow.” He shook his head and put his hands over his face, and Freya could see he was starting to blush. “Ugh. Tomorrow. I don’t even wanna see them again, but I have to spend an entire day with them, then the day after and the next and the next.” He let out a bitter laugh, rubbed his face, and looked at her. “Do you mind doing me a favor?”

  “That depends. What is it?”

  “Just kill me now.”

  Freya surprised herself by laughing at his request. If he only knew that was exactly what I wanted to do when I walked in here, she thought.

  “You hate my guts, right? It should be fun for you.”

  “Are you more upset by the complete failure of the State’s coupling system or that everyone you work with watched?” Freya asked, with a hint of levity. They were stuck in that room, with no puzzles or games to entertain them, and the silence was awkward. She wasn’t sure how to have a conversation with him, but it was all they had to do.

  To her surprise, Colin offered a chuckle of his own. “I don’t know, that’s a tough one.” He laughed again. “Who the hell matches people anyway? What the hell do they base it on?”

  “I’m not sure, but I believe their system is slightly flawed.”

  “Slightly? Really, Freya? Slightly? That’s your word choice to describe this situation?” His voice was raising into a yell again, but there was a playful tone in it.

  “What more would you expect from a poster child, Colin?”

  This time, his laugh was loud and boisterous, followed by a snort. “Yeah, well, I guess saying it’s only slightly flawed is still pretty badass for a good girl like you. How does it feel to say that? Good? I mean, you’re such a rebel.”

  “I don’t consider myself a rebel of any sort,” she said.

  “Yes, I know—and that’s why it’s all the more hilarious,” he said. “Hey, you know what I think would make us both feel better?”

  “What?” Freya looked at him skeptically.

  “I think you should say, ‘The State sucks, and the people who arrange couplings are complete morons.’ Can you do it? I know it’ll be a huge stretch for you.”

  Freya took a deep breath, as if she was going to attempt it, but she couldn’t say the words.

  Colin laughed even harder and shook his head.

  “The system of psychological profiling is flawed. Therefore, it produces faulty matches,” she said, sounding quite formal, as if she was reading it out of a textbook.

  It was not what Colin asked for, but he knew it was all he was going to get out of her. He shook his head, impressed she said anything. “You know, Freya, it isn’t wise to speak like that in front of a Security officer. I might have to flag you for questioning,” he said, suddenly completely serious. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time though, as long as you…” Again, he broke into laughter, unable to finish the remark.

  Freya grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at him. She couldn’t stave off her own laughter as he shielded his head and continued laughing, curling up in a protective ball.

  Finally, Colin recovered and sat up to look at her. “Hey, do you think we were really matched, or were we just…stuck together?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, maybe we’re a couple of misfits, square pegs, like they couldn’t find us any other match, so they just stuck us together.”

  “Do you think they do that?” It never would have dawned on her, but it made more sense than them being a true match.

  “Well, I have another theory. When I saw your civil duty… Well, to be honest, I wondered if they put you with me to keep me on the straight and narrow—you know, with you being a poster child and all.” He shrugged. “Heck, before you agreed to come in the bedroom, I thought perhaps it was more punishment for my bad behavior.”

  Freya knew that should have offended her, being with her was some sort of punishment, but strangely, it didn’t bother her. She remembered Security reminding him that it would be his second offense, and her curiosity far outweighed any insult she might have felt in his words. She contemplated his theories and possible alternatives as to why they were together.

  Colin must have mistaken her concentration for anger or hurt, because he uttered, “I’m sorry. Bad joke. I’m just trying to work this out in my head. There’s apparently something called a brain-mouth filter, but I guess I don’t have one. I have to talk about things, not just think about them, and I don’t necessarily talk intelligently or with intention. I just can’t seem to… Wait. I’m doing it right now, huh? I’ll shut up. I don’t want you to think I’m a babbling idiot or anything.” He looked at her with a smirk.

  “You mean you don’t want me to find out you’re a babbling idiot.” She paused. “Well, it’s too late for that.”
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br />   “Look, we may use different words to describe it, but we both think the State is comprised of idiots, and we both know I talk too much. Aw! Look at us, making progress, finding common ground,” he said. Then, as if he’d been struck by a bolt of lightning, he jumped up. “Hey, maybe that’s why we were matched. Maybe they based it on our mutual feelings about the incompetency of the testing system.” He gestured above his head, as if it was exploding. “Mind officially blown.”

  “Hmm. Well, you can think whatever you want, but I think I’ll stick with the theory of us being misfits stuck together. Our coupling is the result of a mathematical error.” She looked at him expectantly. Part of her was starting to enjoy the digs.

  “Wipe that smug look off your face. You think you just insulted me, but you all you really did was admit they couldn’t find anyone for you either. No, wait. They couldn’t find anyone for you, but they need to keep me in check. That’s it. Yeah, that’s gotta be it,” he exclaimed.