Little Stars

by Jacqueline Wilson

  ‘No, don’t go, Bertie!’ said Diamond, rushing to him. ‘Please stay!’

  ‘Diamond, we have particular work to do,’ I said meaningfully.

  Back at the circus, Diamond had done anything I told her. She’d followed me around like a little shadow and never argued. But now she seemed more independent.

  ‘No! I don’t want to,’ she said. ‘I don’t like being that stupid doll – you’ll only be vexed with me, Hetty, because I can’t say the words properly. I want to play with Bertie!’

  ‘Quite right,’ said Bertie. He looked at me, his head on one side. ‘You play doll games with Diamond?’

  ‘No! I mean, yes. To keep her amused,’ I said, because I didn’t want to tell Bertie we were going to have another attempt at impressing Mrs Ruby. ‘Yes, we play doll games. Now please go, Bertie. You’re getting Diamond over-excited. She’s still only little.’

  ‘No I’m not,’ said Diamond, stung. ‘We’re not playing doll games for me. It’s our new music-hall act.’

  ‘Is it, indeed!’ said Bertie. ‘Tell me more.’

  ‘You are little, but you’ve got a very big mouth, Diamond,’ I snapped.

  ‘So you’ve not given up? You’re working on a new act?’ said Bertie. ‘That’s just like you, Hetty. You’re never a girl to give up. Let me see this act, then, girls!’

  ‘Absolutely not,’ I said.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I’d feel silly. You’d make me feel self-conscious,’ I said.

  ‘You can’t perform in front of one friend, yet you feel you’ll be fine in front of two thousand strangers?’

  I was silenced.

  ‘Come on, Hetty.’

  ‘You’ll laugh at us,’ I said in a small voice.

  ‘Well, is your act meant to be funny?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then I’ll laugh my head off,’ Bertie said. ‘But if there are tragic bits, I’ll blub like a baby. I’m your ideal audience, girls. Come on, let’s get the show started!’ He sat on the counter again and started clapping hopefully.

  I felt ridiculously nervous, but I didn’t want to appear a coward in front of Bertie.

  ‘Come on, Diamond, let’s show him,’ I said, fluffing out her hair. ‘You’ll have to imagine Diamond got up like a little fairy doll, Bertie. Imagine me as a little girl too, in a pastel frock and pinafore, my hair in plaits.’

  ‘Oh, what a picture!’ he said.

  I placed a chair in the middle of the floor, then took Diamond’s hand. We went to the side of the shop.

  ‘Up you get,’ I whispered to Diamond.

  She jumped up into my arms, resting on my hip.

  ‘Keep your arms and legs stiff, as if you really are a china doll. Stare straight ahead and do your circus smile,’ I whispered. ‘Right, we’re going on stage now.’

  I started the birthday routine and introduced Diamond, my new dolly. I felt sick with embarrassment at having to lisp coy nonsense in front of Bertie, but he gave us nods of encouragement. I’d cut Diamond’s ‘I am very beautiful,’ speech because it gave her such trouble. I’d worked out a better way of introducing her.

  I sat down on the chair, Diamond on my knee. I kept one hand on her back, as if I were working her like a puppet.

  ‘There now, Diamond Dolly. Oh my, you’re so pretty. Such lovely long hair. And bright blue eyes!’

  On cue Diamond blinked her eyes and looked from left to right.

  ‘Oh goodness!’ I said, pretending to be alarmed. ‘You look almost real!’

  I tapped Diamond on the back. She turned her head slowly to look at me.

  ‘I-am-real,’ she said.

  I gave a little scream. Diamond screamed too. We turned our heads away from each other. Then looked back – and let out two screams again.

  ‘Why are you screaming?’ I said.

  ‘I’m-cop-y-ing-you-be-cause-you’re-my-mum-my,’ Diamond chanted without expression. But I could see it didn’t matter. Somehow it made our act even funnier. Bertie was sitting back, kicking his heels on the counter, looking delighted.

  I felt a thrill of pure joy. It was like being back in the circus ring, playing around with my announcements while the audience cheered. It was better because I was part of the act this time.

  We carried on with our routine. I felt like hugging Diamond – she’d truly memorized everything and didn’t forget her words once, not even the complicated argy-bargy of sharing our pocket money. We had a penny and a halfpenny and couldn’t manage to share it equally. I said I wanted to buy a dolly from the toyshop who didn’t argue with me. Diamond said she wanted to buy a girl from the human shop who didn’t argue with her.

  We tried to go off in different directions – but Diamond stood stiffly, unable to move without me, her mouth opening and closing silently. So then we kissed and made up and I picked Diamond up and skipped off with her.

  Bertie was looking expectantly at us. Then he frowned. ‘Is that it?’

  ‘Yes. What do you think?’ I asked eagerly.

  ‘It’s not long enough.’ Bertie consulted his pocket watch. ‘Three minutes tops. You’re over in a flash. It won’t work.’

  ‘Well, all right, we’ll make it longer,’ I said impatiently. ‘But you think the general gist works? You seemed to be enjoying it.’

  ‘Yes, it was very sweet as a little party piece. I’m not sure it would work as a music-hall act, though.’

  ‘And why not?’

  ‘Because it’s not spectacular enough.’

  ‘I didn’t see you jumping through flaming hoops or catapulting out of a cannon,’ I said crossly. ‘You just sang and danced.’

  ‘No need to get shirty, Hetty. I’m just trying to help,’ said Bertie.

  ‘Aren’t we good enough, Bertie?’ asked Diamond.

  ‘You’re absolutely wonderful, little Twinkle,’ said Bertie. ‘You make a brilliant dolly, sweetheart.’ He looked at me. ‘But you need to do something else with her. Look at the way the kid can jump – right up onto my shoulders! You should capitalize on her skills. She’s the little star.’

  It was as if he’d thrown a bucket of icy water all over me. It was hard admitting it, but I wanted to be the star. Or if I didn’t have any special talents, I wanted to be the director of our act. I resented Bertie’s suggestions bitterly, even though I knew he was right.

  I mumbled some excuse about needing the privy, and ran out of the door into the yard.

  ‘It’s not fair!’ I wailed, walking round and round in a temper. I kicked a bucket, I bashed my hand against the fence, I took hold of the handlebars of the penny-farthing and shook it. Then I stared at it and suddenly leaped onto the machine. I rode it around the yard, working things out in my head.

  I saw where I’d gone wrong. When the clowns had capered into the ring and performed comically badly, they hadn’t ended their act there. They had suddenly taken the whole audience by surprise by attempting a really difficult trick and performing it splendidly. That’s what Diamond and I would do.

  I rewrote lines in my head, changing the pocket-money dispute, working out tricks. I’d have to be patient. We’d need to rehearse for days. But we could do it. I was sure of it now.

  DIAMOND AND I laboured along the road to the Cavalcade. I rode the penny-farthing, while Diamond struggled along the pavement behind me, clutching Mrs Ruby’s finished gown, carefully folded up in a huge muslin bag. We were both in costume. Diamond was wearing her fairy outfit and looked adorable. I looked more comical. I’d had to work on my outfit at lightning speed, begging odd lengths of material from Miss Gibson and stitching them together in a crazy patchwork. I’d only had time to cut out the white broderie-anglaise pinafore and tack it together, leaving the hem unsewn, but I hoped a few dangling threads wouldn’t spoil the general impression.

  I’d applied rouge to our cheeks and tied ribbons in our hair. I left Diamond’s loose and flowing, and fashioned my own into two plaits. It made me feel very much a foundling again. My skin even started
itching as I remembered that harsh brown institution frock. How Matron Stinking Bottomly would gasp if she could see me now, breezing along on my penny-farthing, about to enter that den of iniquity, a music hall. She’d always declared I was a child of Satan and would go straight to hell. I hoped she wasn’t right!

  ‘Are you sure she’ll like us this time?’ Diamond asked.

  ‘I’m absolutely certain,’ I said. I was fibbing of course. In fact, I was starting to think that Mrs Ruby would laugh us straight out of her theatre – but we still had to give it a go.

  I prayed inside my head, asking Mama for courage.

  You’ve got more courage in your little finger than most folks have in their entire bodies, my own child.

  I shoved open the stage door, feeling comforted. Stan was there, as cheerless as ever.

  ‘Please can we store the penny-farthing with you for a few minutes?’ I asked. ‘I daren’t leave it outside.’

  ‘Well, you can’t leave it here, either. What do you think this is, a special storage shed for your infernal contraption? Don’t be ridiculous,’ Stan grumbled.

  ‘I’m simply doing what Mrs Ruby herself suggested,’ I lied. ‘Of course, if you want to dispute it with her, then that’s another matter.’

  Stan looked at me suspiciously. ‘What do you take me for?’ he said, but he let us leave it there all the same.

  We went up to the second floor and along the corridor. My heart was beating fast now, but I managed to give Diamond a determined grin. ‘Chin up, lovely,’ I said. ‘We’re going to knock her socks off.’

  Diamond spluttered as we both imagined Mrs Ruby in her splendid gown, with childish socks on her fat feet. Then I took a deep breath and knocked on Mrs Ruby’s door.

  ‘Right, let’s be having you,’ she called imperiously.

  I pushed her door open and we sidled in.

  ‘Oh my Lord, not you two kiddies again!’ said Mrs Ruby. She looked at our outfits and our rouged cheeks. ‘Come on now, I treated you to a night at the Cavalcade. Enough is enough. Off you go. Vamoose!’

  Diamond looked up at me anxiously. I thought quickly. ‘Yes, we’re so grateful to you for letting us sit in your special box. We had such a lovely evening. But today we’re here to give you your beautiful gown, Mrs Ruby,’ I said. I seized it and whipped it out of the muslin bag so that I could brandish the purple costume like a flag. ‘Isn’t it a picture? Miss Gibson has done wonders. She sends her regards, by the way.’

  ‘Oh my, yes, it does look effective. Just what the old girl needs to perk herself up. Lovely colour, perfect for limelight,’ she said. She circled the waist with her hands. ‘Nice boning too, to keep everything under control!’

  ‘And you can rely on those stitches, Mrs Ruby, because I sewed them myself. You could use this gown in a tug of war and it still wouldn’t bust at the seams, I promise you,’ I declared.

  ‘You’re a caution, you are,’ she told me. ‘What was your name? I think there were several!’

  ‘Hetty Feather, though I’m known as Emerald Star professionally. And this is Diamond, former Acrobatic Child Wonder.’

  ‘Yes, yes. From the circus. So what’s your connection with Miss Gibson, dear? Are you her niece perhaps – or her little apprentice?’

  ‘I’m more a friend who’s helping her out on a temporary basis,’ I said smoothly.

  ‘Well, you’re a very good little friend – and these are weeny fairy stitches even though they’re so strong,’ said Mrs Ruby, examining the seams carefully. ‘Here, dear, this is for your trouble.’ She felt in her large velvet bag and brought out a florin.

  Diamond’s mouth went into a little O of excitement. I felt mean dashing her hopes of a wild spending spree, but this was our chance.

  ‘It’s so kind of you, Mrs Ruby, but I wonder – could you grant us a mere ten minutes of your time instead of the shilling?’ I said. ‘We have a brand-new act and—’

  ‘No! Absolutely not. Look, dears, you’re very sweet, and I truly believe you were the stars of your little circus, but music hall is different. It’s adult, not little girly entertainment.’

  ‘We appreciate that. We have adapted everything accordingly. Please let us show you, Mrs Ruby. You don’t want to miss this chance. We have enormous potential, I promise you,’ I declared.

  ‘You’ve got enormous cheek, young lady, but I can’t help admiring your persistence. Very well. Get started, and be quick about it,’ she said, sitting back on her chaise-longue.

  ‘I’m afraid we can only show you the introductory part up here in your dressing room. If you are to truly appreciate the whole of our novelty act, then we all need to repair to the stage,’ I said.

  ‘What? Nonsense! I’m not playing silly beggars trailing all the way down to the stage. Do your act here or not at all,’ she said briskly.

  ‘But there’s not room – and it’s very clever,’ said Diamond, surprising me. ‘Please let us show you properly, Mrs Ruby. Hetty has been making us practise for eight hours each day in preparation!’

  ‘My answer’s still no,’ she said.

  I clenched my fists. ‘You’re a businesswoman, Mrs Ruby. I’m sure you like the idea of a bargain. You’re pleased with your new dress. It was very expensive, though worth every penny, of course. Well, I will purchase a length of beautiful material according to your choice, consult with you on style, and stitch it for you for nothing. There! Just think, a gown worth two sovereigns! And all you have to do is come downstairs with us and watch our act.’

  ‘And what if I don’t like it, Miss Hetty Feather?’

  ‘Then I shall still honour my solemn promise and still make you a free gown,’ I said. ‘I am a woman of my word.’

  Mrs Ruby burst out laughing, though I wasn’t aware I’d said anything amusing. ‘Oh, child, you’ll be the death of me. Very well, it’s a bargain. But I shall hold you to that solemn promise.’

  ‘Thank you so very much! Right, Diamond, please go down to the stage with Mrs Ruby while I go and fetch our surprise from the stage door.’ I charged off before Mrs Ruby could object further.

  I hurtled down the stairs and found my way back to Stan. ‘Mrs Ruby insists I take my penny-farthing on stage,’ I said. ‘Please will you show me the way? And we’d better be quick about it. Mrs Ruby can be very impatient!’

  ‘Tell me about it,’ he muttered.

  He shuffled off down the corridor again, while I pushed the penny-farthing behind him. We went up and down stairs, which was a huge problem, but I heaved and hauled my machine as best I could. I banged the walls once or twice, and Stan nagged me about spoiling the paintwork, though it was already pretty scuffed, even peeling in places. The Cavalcade might look in splendid shape from the front, but behind the scenes it was very run down.

  We reached the stage at last.

  ‘I’ll tuck it away in the corner,’ I said, propping the penny-farthing against a chair.

  ‘That’s not a corner, that’s the wings. Don’t you know nothing about the theatre? And you can’t leave it there – it’ll trip up all the artistes.’

  ‘I am an artiste – and it is only there as a temporary measure,’ I assured him.

  Diamond was already on stage, looking lonely and frightened. Mrs Ruby had seated herself in the front row of the stalls. She was consulting her pocket watch – not a good sign.

  I grabbed another chair, set it on the stage, then whisked Diamond into these newly named wings.

  ‘Hop up into my arms, little Diamond Dolly,’ I said. ‘Don’t look so scared. It’s going to be fine this time. She will love our new act, just you wait and see.’

  I tried to sound convincing, which was quite a challenge. I was suddenly so faint with nerves that the stage itself seemed to be rolling up and down like the waves at the seaside. But somehow I managed to stride out, smiling bravely, carrying Diamond. She stuck her arms and legs out stiffly, bless her, just as I’d taught her.

  I sat down on the chair with Diamond on my lap and started chatting ab
out my birthday and my new present. We carried on our routine, not daring to look down at Mrs Ruby. When we reached the part where we both looked away and then at each other and screamed, we heard a sudden burst of laughter. I felt a little thrill. But the best was yet to come!

  We started our discussion about pocket money, only this time we were wondering how to share a penny and a farthing.

  ‘Yes, how do you share a penny-farthing?’ I asked the empty auditorium.

  ‘I don’t know, how do you share a penny-farthing?’ Mrs Ruby called, actually joining in.

  ‘Like this!’ I said. ‘But first I’d better wind up my special dolly. She’s been a bit slow so far.’

  I pretended there was a key in Diamond’s back and made a great play of winding her up, giving a loud creaking noise. Then I ran off the stage while Diamond started running around, no longer slow and stiff, then turning cartwheels. I hitched myself upright on the penny-farthing and then pedalled onto the stage.

  Mrs Ruby laughed again, then gasped when Diamond somersaulted towards me, leaped up into the air, and landed on my shoulders. We’d tried this trick a hundred times over, poor Diamond frequently taking a tumble. I did too, unable to stop the penny-farthing wobbling and crashing to the floor. We were all over bruises under our clothes, but I was determined to get our act right, and after Beppo’s cruel training Diamond had learned to be brave. The constant practice had paid off. Diamond was as sure-footed as a little gazelle, and I knew exactly how far and fast I should pedal to catch her safely.

  It was easy to pedal round and round steadily while Diamond struck poses. I didn’t have to do anything fancy. I felt rather like Madame Adeline’s horse, Pirate, who galloped in circles while she pirouetted on his back. Then we worked up to the big finale. Diamond hunched over so that her hands were on my shoulders. I heard her suck in her breath and tense her arms. Then she did a perfect handstand while I kept pedalling.

  ‘Wave goodbye to all the lovely people, Diamond dolly!’ I cried.