by Phoebe Conn
“You despise pretense, but were willing to pretend to help Alex?”
Raven’s frown deepened as he realized she had a valid point. “That is a contradiction, isn’t it?”
“Alex thought the world of you too, Raven. It’s understandable that you would go to any lengths to help each other.”
Eden was now speaking with him so calmly that Raven decided to push for whatever advantage he could gain. “What did he tell you about me?”
As always, Eden found it difficult to think when Raven’s dark glance pierced her defenses with such ruthless ease. She looked down at Alex’s letter instead. “He always spoke of you in the most glowing terms. He could not have been any more proud of you had you been his son rather than his nephew. Surely you must know that.”
Alex hadn’t told her the truth about him, Raven immediately realized. Like everyone else, Eden believed he was a blood relative. That was the greatest pretense of all, but a necessary one he would not end. “Yes, I did. That’s why I intend to take care of you as best I can. It’s what Alex wanted, so it’s what I want as well.”
“And what I want doesn’t matter?” Eden asked shyly.
Raven clasped his hands behind his back as he began to discuss her options. “Have you made some plans of your own?”
“Well no, not yet.”
“I thought not. You can continue to live here, of course, although I imagine you would be unbearably lonely without Alex’s company. The owners of the neighboring estates spend most of their time in London, but there’s always a chance they might remember to invite you to come for tea when they’re at home. The fact that you’re an American is unfortunate, because you’ll be considered an outsider by many even though you are Alex’s widow and he was quite popular. If you decide to stay here alone, I’ll leave you a list of the men who can be expected to call. Most will have titles as old as Alex’s, but they’re in need of funds and will court you for your money.”
“Raven,” Eden begged with an anguished glance. “Are you always so suspicious of people’s motives?”
“Of course. England is full of men with more prestige than wealth and you can expect every last one to try and impress you. Briarcliff now belongs to me rather than you, however, and while I will naturally provide for you as generously as Alex would have, if you remarry, that support will promptly end. The more intelligent of your suitors should realize that fairly quickly and ask you to invest in their schemes with no real intention of ever marrying you.”
“Am I supposed to thank you for that kind of advice?”
Raven regarded her perplexed expression with a knowing smile. “If you don’t now, you will later. Would you rather return to your aunt’s house in London? If so, I really must warn you that your aunt and cousin didn’t take your elopement at all well. Apparently they feel you’ve disgraced them somehow, and they’ve been badly hurt by the gossip.”
“Oh no, I knew they’d be upset, but I thought by this time”
“No. If anything, I’m afraid time will only magnify their distress. If only your country weren’t at war, you could return home to Virginia. That’s quite impossible under the circumstances, however. The effectiveness of Confederate raiders like your father’s have made passenger travel between Europe and America too dangerous to consider. It looks as though the War might continue for many years, so it may be a long while before you see your parents again.”
Eden nodded. “Yes, I know that. They sent me to Aunt Lydia to keep me safe. I’ll not ignore their wishes by risking my life to go back.”
“That’s very sensible of you,” Raven agreed in his most persuasive tone. “You really should think of yourself as Alex’s widow rather than your parents’ child anyway. His home was on Jamaica. I know he told you about it. It’s not only a beautiful place to live, but one free of the tiresome constraints of London society. You would have been happy there with him, and I think you already know how happy you’ll be there with me.”
Eden’s cheeks filled with a bright blush at the suggestive nature of that comment. “You make it sound as though my only choice is to marry you.”
“No, there is another choice I’ve not mentioned.”
“Really?” Eden asked with a delighted smile. “What is it?”
Raven knew it was unkind to dash her hopes, but did so quite willingly. “You can remain with me without the benefit of marriage. If you’d rather be my mistress than my wife, then I’ll still treat you well. You can simply refer to yourself as Alex’s widow and no one will question your presence in his home, or rather, my home.”
It was the arrogance of that offer that infuriated Eden. “I am Alex’s widow, I’d not just be calling myself that. Why couldn’t I go to Jamaica if it’s such a wonderful place? I could live there until the Civil War ends and then I could return home to Virginia.”
Raven sat down on the side of the bed, slipped his fingers through Eden’s wild mane of curls, and pulled her close for a kiss he did not end until he felt the tension that had filled her melt away. That she had as little resistance to him as he had for her seemed perfectly natural to him, and confident he would eventually bend her will to his, he sat back slightly.
“This is an enormous house, and yet we slept in the same bed. You’ll not be able to avoid me on board the Jamaican Wind, and I doubt you’ll even want to. Once we reach Jamaica, you’ll be so accustomed to sleeping with me, you’ll never want to be alone. I expect we won’t be able to keep the depth of our relationship a secret for long, but if you feel you can survive the resulting scandal, so can I.
“You know what you are as well as I do, Eden. You’re the kind of woman who enjoys being with men. There’s no reason for you to be ashamed of it. Just accept it. We’ll be going to Jamaica as lovers. Whether or not you’ll also be my wife is up to you. It’s what Alex wanted. It’s what I want. It ought to be what you want as well.”
Eden stared into Raven’s eyes, searching for some glimmer of hope that what he said was untrue, but all she saw was the confidence that marked all his actions. He was wrong, though, for he was not the one she could not resist. It was the ease with which he brought Alex back to life that captivated her.
“Please,” she whispered. “I need time to think things through. Losing Alex, the prospect of making a life with you, its all coming too fast. Don’t ask me to make any decisions today. I need more time.”
Raven responded with another possessive kiss. “You know I could keep you in that bed all day and make you agree to anything I want, don’t you?”
Eden nodded. She missed Alex so badly she could not fight the way Raven made her feel. “Please don’t,” she begged softly.
This time when Raven pulled her into his arms, she rested her head on his shoulder. He brushed her hair aside and patted her bare back lightly, glad that she could not see the width of his smile. “You’ll have to make up your mind by the time we leave for Jamaica, because once we set sail, there will be no way for us to marry. I can give you only that long to make your decision.”
“What about Alex’s townhouse?” Eden remembered suddenly. “I could live there!”
That he had completely forgotten about the place annoyed Raven to no end, but he didn’t allow his disgust at that oversight to show in his expression when Eden sat back to face him. “I’m afraid you’d encounter even worse problems in London than here. Your aunt’s circle of friends would shun you for embarrassing her while the men interested in your wealth would simply find it more convenient to call on you there. You would be alone except for the servants, and while they are a competent group, they aren’t fit company for a lady. No, I wouldn’t feel right about leaving you alone in London and I’m certain Alex wouldn’t approve.”
“He’d not approve of my being your mistress either.”
“That, Lady Clairbourne, is entirely up to you. I’ve offered marriage, but if you refuse”
He left the consequences unspoken, but Eden understood. They were not even friends, but she would
not be so foolish as to try and convince herself she could stay away from him. She felt utterly defeated, trapped, and then realized he must feel the same way. “I still think this is unfair to you. You should choose your own bride, not take me because Alex hoped that we might one day wed.”
Raven wondered if it were merely the unusual topaz shade of her eyes that made her glance appear sincere, but she looked truly troubled. He placed a light kiss on her forehead, and rose to his feet. “I owe Alex a great deal, but had he married Stephanie, I wouldn’t have shown her that letter.”
“But Stephanie could have just gone home to her mother.”
Raven shrugged, “I suppose that’s true, but I don’t regard marrying you as an obligation I’ve no choice but to honor. I can think for myself, and I’ll never do anything I don’t truly want to do just because someone else thinks I should.”
“Not even Alex?”
“No, not even Alex. Now let’s not discuss the issue anymore today. I want to visit all the tenants. Alex never raised their rent and I want to assure them that I won’t either. I think the men who have grown wealthy by charging industrious peasants exorbitant rents ought to be prosecuted as criminals. I don’t want any of the people who’ve spent their whole lives on this estate fearing I’ll ever show that type of greed.”
“That’s very generous of you.”
Unable to accept Eden’s compliment graciously, Raven ignored it. “Will you be all right today on your own?”
Eden felt not only tired, but sick to her stomach. Certain that discomfort was due to mental rather than physical anguish, she attempted to smile bravely. “Yes. You needn’t worry about me.”
Eden waited until Raven had left the room before again donning her nightgown and leaving the bed. Still clutching Alex’s letter tightly, she carried it into her room and put it away so that it would not become lost. She just wished Alex had told her he would like her to marry Raven so the suggestion would not have come as such a dreadful shock.
“Oh Alex, I miss you so,” she murmured to herself.
As she bathed and dressed, Eden forced herself to concentrate on the tenants’ welfare. She wanted Briarcliff to always be the beautiful estate Alex had loved and she was grateful that Raven obviously had the same goal.
Raven returned to the manor in time to join Eden for tea. She provided only a vague reply to his inquiry about how she had spent her day, but she looked pale and drawn as though it had been a very difficult one for her. That surprised him since she had buried Alex with such ease. Meaning to dress for dinner, they started up the broad staircase together, but Eden stopped to admire the portrait of Alex that hung on the landing.
“There’s a far better likeness of him in our home on Jamaica,” Raven told her.
“Really? I’m very fond of this one.”
Alex had been only twenty-five at the time but his hair had already begun to turn gray. Raven glanced up the stairway. All of Alex’s ancestors had been handsome, and all the portraits were of them in their twenties since none had lived to any great age.
“Raven?”
“Um?”
“How old are you?”
“I’ll be twenty-seven in November.” When Eden looked back at Alex’s portrait, he understood the full import of her question. “I didn’t inherit the heart condition that killed him. Is that what worries you?”
Eden sighed softly, “I hadn’t thought about it until just this minute. I’m sorry, I hope that doesn’t sound ghoulish.”
“Not at all. It’s a very sensible question since we’ll undoubtedly spend the rest of our lives together.”
“You’ve not given me even one day to consider my options,” Eden reminded him. “Please don’t rush me.” Raven did not look pleased by that request, so she hurriedly changed the subject. “Why is there no portrait of Eleanora here?”
“Alex had only one of her and he took it to Jamaica. You’ll see it there.”
Exasperated that he had again taunted her about her decision, Eden gave up on their conversation but she was very curious about what sort of a woman Eleanora had been.
As they continued on up the stairs, Raven made no effort to hide his smile, and with the promise to rejoin her soon, he left her at her door.
Chapter Seven
August 1863
Eden wore a gown of ice blue satin to dinner that night. Raven recalled seeing her in it at one of the balls they had attended. It was stunning, but once again he wondered at her choice of attire. When they entered the dining room, he helped her take the first seat on the right, then slid into what had always been Alex’s place at the head of the table.
“Do you not own a black gown?” he attempted to ask without sounding critical.
“Why no, I don’t. But Alex asked me not to wear black for him. He wanted me to always wear the pastel colors he thought so pretty.”
Raven had no way of knowing what Alex had told Eden, but because that did sound like something the gracious man might have said, he didn’t question her any further. Her wardrobe was a minor point when Raven considered the fact he had absolutely no idea of the content of Alex and Eden’s conversations just prior to their elopement or during their brief marriage. If Eden realized that, then surely she would use it to her own advantage and cleverly fabricate all kinds of convenient things Alex might have said whenever she wished to make a point.
It was a disturbing thought, but if she and Alex had talked about something so insignificant as her wardrobe, what could they have failed to discuss? Realizing there were several important questions he ought to ask, Raven waited until they had finished their soup to respond.
“You knew all the while, then, that Alex didn’t have long to live?”
Eden was amazed by that question when she thought the answer had to be obvious. “Yes, of course. He told me before he proposed. The shock would have killed me when I lost him had I not known that each day we spent together might be our last. Perhaps we were overly optimistic under the circumstances, but we’d hoped to measure the length of our marriage in months or possibly years, rather than days. Didn’t you realize that I must have known Alex’s heart wasn’t strong?”
Raven shrugged. “I knew Alex meant to tell you, but I wasn’t certain that he actually had.” After all, the last time he had spoken with him, he had gotten the impression that Alex meant to tell her goodbye.
Determined to defend herself, Eden could not let that comment go unchallenged. “Then you must have thought me the most unfeeling of women.”
Raven had a great many opinions about her, but few he cared to share. “You always struck me as being very serious-minded. When you learned of Alex’s illness really doesn’t matter. I knew you’d be able to cope with his death.”
The coldness of that remark jarred Eden badly. If Raven truly thought her more unfeeling than brave, she did not want him to hold such an insulting misconception a moment longer. “I’ll miss Alex for the rest of my life. That I’m not so sick with grief that I can’t leave my bed doesn’t mean that his death didn’t affect me very deeply.”
The threat of tears made her amber eyes glow with an appealing golden light. That she was a great beauty was a fact of which Raven was already fully aware, however. He reached over to take her left hand. Alex had given her a magnificent diamond and ruby ring, which Raven caressed lightly with his thumb as he began to smile. “Anytime you wish to take to your bed, let me know, and I’ll be happy to console you there.”
“You bastard.” Eden yanked her hand from beneath his and rose to her feet so rapidly she nearly toppled over her chair. She fled the elegant dining room, unable to give him the tongue-lashing he deserved, but the minute she reached the privacy of her room, she gave vent to her rage. She blasted Raven with every despicable name she had ever heard shouted in her father’s shipyard, but that failed to erase her guilt over the ease with which he had already shared her bed.
She had used the handsome young man shamefully, and that was something she knew she w
ould never be able to forgive herself for doing. That Raven would pounce on an opportunity to remind her of that horrible indiscretion was equally unforgivable, however. Despite his devotion to Alex, Raven had proven himself to be arrogantly self-centered. Clearly he cared only about himself.
A new torrent of tears began to stream down Eden’s face then, for all she truly cared about was Alex, and her darling Alex was gone.
Eden’s parting insult stung Raven far more harshly than she could ever have guessed, but he did not let it show. Instead, he continued to enjoy the excellent meal. He gave no excuse for Eden’s sudden departure from the table to the footmen who brought in the remaining courses. Instead he made a point of savoring every last crumb and sending his compliments to the cook. He then went out for a stroll in the garden before entering the study, where he sat and sipped brandy for a good long while.
He liked the fact Eden was such a high-spirited woman, but he saw no reason for her to constantly resort to tears to justify her actions when her motivations were all so clear. She had to have known even a brief marriage to Alex would leave her wealthy should her family suffer irreversible losses in the Civil War.
Women were expected to protect their futures with marriage. He would not condemn her for that. It was the fact she had taken advantage of Alex’s love for her that galled him, for in doing so she had undoubtedly hastened his death. Even if she had shortened Alex’s life by no more than an hour, he intended to make her pay for that crime.
Raven felt neither sad nor lonely that night, merely determined. He knew precisely what he wanted from Eden, and certain she had had sufficient time to calm down and provide it, he went upstairs to find her.
His bed had been turned down, but it was empty that night. He had expected as much, however. When he tried the connecting door between his room and Eden’s, he found it locked but that presented no problem to a man who had been raised in the house. All the doors could be unlocked with a single key, and he had several.