Home Improvement — a Love Story

by Tara Lain

  Jerry stared at their clasped hands. “I didn’t tell my brother who you were because I don’t want that part of my life to be a part of this part of my life. Jet can be Jet, but this is my life, and I want you both to be a part of it.”

  Gabe squeezed his fingers but still shook his head. “It’s not very realistic, Jerry. Your brother found you, and other people will too. You’re afraid to go to the home improvement store without a disguise. You are who you are, and you don’t get to snap your fingers and become a regular person.”

  Ellie leaned forward. “I’m afraid I agree with Dad. I’ll admit, it’s easy to forget you’re Jet Gemini when we’re just hanging out, but for how long? The paparazzi are going to find your house eventually, and then you’ll need your bodyguards and barbed wire.” She looked up with compassion in her eyes. “Plus, your fans don’t know you’re gay, Jerry, right? I mean, I’m a big fan who follows all the stories about you, and even though I’ve heard rumors, I’ve never seen any of them confirmed. So what are you going to do? Suddenly show up with my dad? The reporters will go apeshit, and so will the fans.”

  Suddenly Jerry buried his face in his hands.

  Gabe knew how he felt. The truth hurt like hell.

  Chapter Nineteen

  HIS CHEST hurt so badly. Jerry pressed a hand against his sternum to help catch his breath, then raised his head and looked at Gabe and across the room at Ellie. Funny how these two people had become so important to him so fast. Maybe it was because they were the first friends he’d made who hadn’t known who he was. They liked Jerry, shy and pizza eating, and even though they now knew he was also Jet Gemini, they didn’t seem to expect him to morph into the rock star at any moment. That was comfortable and restful and fun. Fun. Not something he had a lot of, regardless of what his life looked like online.

  Truthfully, he’d have liked Gabe and Ellie no matter how he’d met them—assuming he ever had. There was the problem. In his regular life, he never would have come across this wonderful man and his terrific daughter. If Jerry hadn’t broken away, sneaked off to a small, arty town in Oregon, bought a run-down house, and paid an ill-advised visit to a home improvement store, he would never have found Gabe. The thought gave him chills. No Gabe.

  He felt himself shaking his head before he said, “No. There has to be some way to make this work. There are famous people who get to have happy lives. Lots of them.”

  Ellie leaned her chin on her bent knees. “True. I don’t think most of them are rock stars with a powerful desire for privacy.” She smiled, but her eyes looked sad.

  Jerry sucked in some more air. “I have to leave tomorrow morning early for San Francisco, and then I’m doing a huge one-night benefit show in Vegas. While I’m gone, I’m going to talk to Fred, who’s my manager, and some of my other people. I’m going to work out a way where I get to have a life that doesn’t belong to the press or the fans.” Damn, even to his ears, the claim sounded like fantasyland. “When I get back, I’ll put it into effect.”

  Ellie smiled encouragingly, but Gabe just ran a hand over his calf and stared into space. He said, “How long will you be gone?”

  “I hope to be home by Friday.”

  He nodded but never looked up. “I’ll make sure some work gets done while you’re gone. At least you’ll have a house to come home to.”

  Jerry wanted to yell, “Will I have you?” But that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Gabe’s life that made it impossible for them to be together. “Thank you.”

  They were all quiet, and not in a comfortable way.

  Finally Jerry said, “I guess I better go and let you get some sleep.” He desperately wanted to ask Gabe to come home with him. That wouldn’t happen. Gabe wouldn’t leave Ellie, and Jerry wouldn’t ask him to.

  Slowly he stood, some piece of his heart begging for them to talk him out of it. He’d happily sleep on their couch.

  Ellie cleared her throat. “You can stay here, Jerry. Uh, I mean, if you want.”

  Gabe frowned. “Jerry has to pack for a trip.”

  Ellie nodded. “Sure.” She clasped her hands. “I didn’t think of that.”

  Jerry couldn’t hold in the words. “I could stay. I don’t actually do much packing. All my touring clothes are in San Francisco.”

  Gabe said, “What time’s your plane?”

  “Uh, I don’t exactly know. I need to make a reservation for tomorrow morning.”

  Ellie leaped up. “I can do it.” She raced to her laptop, set up on that ridiculous card table that was all his fault. She clicked a bunch of keys, and Jerry glanced at Gabe. He didn’t look delighted but also not really angry.

  Why am I doing this? It wasn’t like he and Gabe were going to have hot sex while Ellie was in the house. Plus, he actually should go home in the morning and get a few things, although he didn’t really have to. Still, it seemed important to be with people he cared about. Even though he loved his house and his privacy, at that moment the prospect of driving to Ashland felt lonely.

  “Okay, here are some choices,” Ellie called.

  With one more glance at Gabe, Jerry walked over and sat beside Ellie. Together they picked out a flight that left at seven and booked him a first-class ticket.

  She bounded up. “You can have my bedroom, Jerry. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  He shook his head. “No way. I’ll sleep on the couch, and then I can sneak out at five and not bother either of you.”

  She side-eyed him. “You’re pretty tall for that couch.”

  “You should see some of the places I’ve slept on the road. No worries.”

  Gabe stood from the already reserved couch. “I’ll get some sheets and a blanket.” He still hadn’t smiled.

  When Gabe walked out of the room, Ellie said, “Don’t worry. He really wants you to stay.” She gave him a grin, and he had to return it.

  Fifteen minutes later, they’d made up the lumpy couch for him, and Ellie had found him a toothbrush. Now the three of them stood staring at the couch.

  Ellie yawned. Make that fake yawned. “I’m heading for bed. Why don’t you guys watch some TV for a while?” With elaborate stretching, she walked out of the room.

  When her bedroom door closed, Gabe snorted. “I don’t think she’d better plan a career in acting.”

  “Aside from her acting skills, she’s pretty fantastic. You’re so lucky.”

  “Yeah. I know.” He smiled, and that carved-in-granite face softened. “Since she went to so much trouble to set this up, want to watch something?”

  “Sure.”

  They both sat on the couch made up as a bed, and Gabe turned on the large flat-screen TV that dominated one wall.

  Jerry whispered, “That’s a pretty guy TV.”

  “Maybe I use it to watch Dancing with the Stars? Or reruns of The Sound of Music.”

  “Do you?”

  Gabe gave a mock sigh. “No, I’m a football guy.”

  “I suspected that when I saw the size of the television you installed in my family room.”

  “Yeah, I was having TV envy.”

  Jerry whispered, “Size does matter.”

  It was good to hear Gabe laugh. He flipped through the channels and landed on a rerun of Groundhog Day.

  Jerry bounced. “I love that movie.”

  “Me too.” Gabe turned up the sound on the scene in the coffee shop.

  Jerry said, “What if God isn’t omniscient? What if he’s just been around so long he’s seen everything?”

  They both laughed and launched into the next half hour of trading quotes from “Don’t drive angry” to “Any kind of change is good.”

  As Bill Murray and Andie McDowell walked out the door of the B and B in the snow, Jerry said, “I guess we all have to learn the definition of insanity in our own way.”

  Gabe looked at him. “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?”

  “Yes. You want something different, you’ve got to do something different. Give something different.
”

  Gabe frowned. “But what if by changing one thing you change a lot of other things you didn’t intend?”

  Jerry smiled. “I heard a story once about how they used to catch monkeys in India or someplace like that. They’d put a banana in a small jar that was roped to the ground. The monkey would slide his hand in the jar and grab the banana, but the opening was so small, he couldn’t get his hand out while he kept holding on. To be free, all he had to do was let go of the fruit, but he wouldn’t do it and he’d be caught.” Man, he hadn’t thought of that story for a while. “Wealth and fame and all the shit that goes with them are a really shiny monkey jar.”

  “And a big banana.” They chuckled, and Gabe looked up from under his dark brows. “Yeah. I guess I was like most people. I always figured money and fame gave you a lot of choices. I never knew how much they can own you.” He sighed. “But we’re all owned by something, aren’t we?”

  “I guess. Are you?”

  Gabe raised his arms and stretched. “Yeah. Giving my daughter what she needs to live a happy adult life, starting with a decent college education. It’s the only thing I want. The only thing I can afford to want.”

  “What about a happy adult life for you?” Jerry smiled and turned to face Gabe on the couch.

  “Worrying about shit like that’s for single guys, not single fathers.”

  “Ellie told me you’d given up so much for her. I think she feels responsible.”

  Gabe wiped a hand over the back of his neck and let out a breath. “I know she does, but I don’t know what to do about that. She has to be my top priority.”

  “I think she wants to see that you’re happy.”

  “Why can’t she see that I am happy taking care of her?” He sounded frustrated, like this wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it.

  “She knows you love her, Gabe. She’s one of the happiest, smartest girls I’ve ever met. You’ve done an amazing job.”

  “Thanks.”

  They were quiet, but it had a peaceful feeling.

  Gabe said softly, “I’m going to miss you.”

  Jerry collapsed sideways so his head rested against Gabe’s shoulder. “Not as much as I’ll miss you. This is my last contracted engagement for a few months. I’m supposed to have a break to work on new music and then go into the studio with the band to record.”

  “Where do you do that?”

  “San Francisco.”

  “You could install a studio in your house or in the other building.”

  Jerry leaned back against the couch. “I know. I’m thinking about it. But once my whole crew starts hanging out at that house, I’m afraid it’ll feel like everywhere else. Like it’s not really mine anymore. The only reason I’d do it is to be able to spend more time in Ashland.” He didn’t say “with you.”

  Gabe leaned over and gave Jerry a warm kiss. “You’ve got to get up really early. You better get some sleep.”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  Gabe turned off the TV, rose slowly, stretched so his flat, ridged stomach showed under the hem of his sweatshirt, then walked out of the living room, turning off the lights as he went.

  Jerry made a fast trip to the bathroom, then felt his way across the dark space, settled onto the couch, and pulled some rumpled covers over himself. He was glad he’d stayed. The more time he spent with Gabe Mason, the more he liked him. “Liked” was such a high school word, but in Gabe’s case it applied. On top of all the lust, passion, and complicated feelings Jerry had for Gabe, he genuinely liked him.

  A scuffing sound made Jerry raise his head. A big dark shadow moved across the room.

  Jerry suppressed a giggle and scooted against the back of the couch, making room. Gabe barely fit, what with the erection the size of Delaware pushing out the front of his pajama bottoms.

  He whispered, “Ellie’s sound asleep. I checked. Be real quiet.” Then he wrapped one of those big, callused hands around both their cocks and made Jerry happy to get no sleep at all.

  “WOW, WHAT an amazing building.” Ellie looked up.

  Gabe stood at the door to the big two-story open-space studio building that occupied a corner of Jerry’s property near the road. The first time Gabe had seen it, he’d thought it was a neighbor until he saw the ground plans. Ellie wandered around inside.

  The building had obviously been used as an artist’s studio in the past, with swipes of paint on the concrete floors and a big exhaust fan in the corner where a firing kiln had once stood. A second-story balcony enclosed an office, and below was a full bathroom, complete with a shower. The rest of the huge building was open space soaring two stories high with a band of high windows as well as lower windows at the floor level.

  Ellie called, “Dad, this would be an amazing music studio. Listen to the great acoustics.” She bounded up beside him.

  Gabe said, “Jerry’s not sure he wants his band in here.”

  “I don’t mean for the band. I mean for, like, music lessons.” She flashed her dimples. “You know. When he becomes a music teacher.”

  Gabe laughed. “Right. As if he’s going to leave audiences of twenty thousand to start teaching kids to play ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’”

  “Could happen.” She spun around. “So what are we going to do in here?”

  He grinned at her use of we. She really liked Jerry, and Gabe had a pretty good idea it wasn’t about being a fan of Jet. She just liked Jerry. Yeah, well, that made two of them. Didn’t change anything. There must be five hundred guys who liked Jerry and ten times as many who liked Jet. Get in line, idiot.

  He cleared his throat. “I’ve got specialists coming to check the overhead lighting and the heat and air systems. We’ll clean the place, paint, polish the concrete floors, and I guess let Jerry decide the rest.”

  “No. Let’s do it and surprise him.” She pressed her hands together in enthusiasm.

  “Like what?”

  She ran across the floor and waved her arms. “We could build a soundproof studio over here and put in all the recording systems and turntables and sound controls.”

  “I thought we were just playing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ in here.”

  “But Jerry’s still going to be writing his own music. Plus he might want to record his students or maybe bring in an orchestra so Jerry can play with them. I mean, did you hear him play Liszt?”

  Gabe laughed. “I don’t think Jerry’s as ambitious for himself as you are for him.”

  She frowned. “Somebody has to see to it that the man has a happy life. If he keeps on like he is, his life’s going to slip away, and he’ll never have lived it.”

  Gabe’s mouth opened and closed. He couldn’t get a word out since he felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

  A few minutes later, Gabe held the door for Ellie, then followed her outside.

  She said, “We need a better walkway out here. It’s hard to find the entrance.”

  “That’s a common theme on this property. Yeah, we need to put an entrance on the driveway and use this as a back door.”

  As they walked around the corner of the building, a car cruised slowly down the street below them, which was odd since that road led nowhere except to Jerry’s property. Cars might get too far and have to turn around, but they didn’t linger since there was no reason to be in that spot. If you were coming to see Jerry, you’d turn up the long driveway.

  Gabe took a couple of steps down the drive toward the road, staring hard at the car. As he did, the car’s tires squealed, and the thing took off in a cloud of dust.

  “What was that?” Ellie glared after the retreating car.

  “Don’t know. Somebody lost, I guess.”

  Ellie shrugged, and they walked back to the house to check on Jorge’s progress.

  Chapter Twenty

  JERRY PINCHED the bridge of his nose. It had been a long Sunday, starting at 4:00 a.m. when he’d gotten into his car and driven quickly to Ashland to gather his toiletries and a few other things. Then
he’d rushed back to Medford to get on his plane, fly to San Francisco, and spend the day rehearsing with his band.

  They hadn’t quit until almost 7:00 p.m. He was tired and hungry, and he wanted desperately to be back on a couch cuddled with Gabe or sitting at dinner laughing with Ellie.

  Fred punched his arm. “Let’s go get a drink.”

  “I want food.”

  “That too. Theoni’s joining us. She wants to talk about the tour.”

  “Okay.” He glanced at Fred. “Are the guys coming?”

  “No, this is administrative stuff. Just us.”

  “Okay.” Damn, this could be a chance to talk to both of them.

  Thirty minutes later, they were sipping wine at a table at a quiet upscale restaurant on a high-rise rooftop. Theoni had laid out a plan for two magazine covers and a potential appearance at the American Music Awards. “Plus, I’ve got a surprise. Right after the concert, you’re scheduled for the Late Night Show with Bobby Breeson. He’s hosting the benefit, so he agreed to shoot the show from Las Vegas.” She grinned.

  Fred rocked back in his chair. “Good job, Theoni! That’s fantastic exposure and will help keep the buzz going while Jet’s off tour.”

  She said, “Thanks. Speaking of off tour, it’d be ideal if you have a new recording in time for the AMAs.”

  Jerry rubbed his forehead again. “I’ll have to have time to write some new songs first.”

  She put her hand on his arm. “Are you okay, Jerry?”

  He looked up at her. “Tired. Very tired.”

  “I thought you were getting some rest. Isn’t that where you’ve been?” She smiled with that deep concern of someone whose whole income was based on him working.

  “I rested some.”

  Fred smiled sweetly. “Jerry’s been having a bit of a retreat, but no writing got done.”

  Fuck. Jerry pushed his chair back with a scrape, which took him out of reach of both of their oh-so-concerned hands. “Look, I’ve told you both, I want more time to write, play, and record. I’m tired of touring.”