Mozzarella Most Murderous

by Nancy Fairbanks

  “I can’t believe she’s dead,” mourned the devastated Valentino, and blew his nose into the dainty handkerchief provided by Signora Ricci-Tassone.

  I slipped away to whisper the news to Bianca, who said she’d be sure to sit next to our host and see what she could find out. I had to agree that she might be a better interrogator than I since she spoke Italian. On the other hand, I’d had more experience in the investigation of murder, if this was a case of murder. I didn’t say that to Bianca, as it’s rather embarrassing to admit that my path has been strewn with corpses since I started traveling with Jason. So many murders. Obviously I’d led a sheltered life until recently.

  Canapés, in the style of the Campania, are often based on vegetables because, since Roman times, the rich volcanic soil has made the area the vegetable garden of Italy. Interestingly, Neapolitan mushroom pate uses butter, rather than olive oil, which was the oil of choice in Roman times. Butter was introduced by invading Germanic tribes prior to the Middle Ages but was prohibited on fasting days for many years by the Roman Catholic Church. The recipe was inspired by the Monzu (corruption of Monsieur) cooks favored by the nobility in Naples, and, of course, the Marsala is from Sicily, which was joined politically with southern Italy from the time of Norman rule in the eleventh and twelfth centuries.

  Neapolitan Mushroom Pate on Toasts

  • Sauté over medium heat 12 ounces cleaned and sliced white mushrooms in 2 ounces of butter and 1/2 teaspoon of dried herbs, rosemary, thyme, and sage, until liquid from mushrooms has mixed with butter.

  • Stir in 1/2 cup dry Marsala wine and cook until all liquid has evaporated.

  • Add 1 tablespoon salted capers, rinsed, and 1 1/2 tablespoons Gaeta olives, pitted and chopped (purple Greek olives can be substituted), and cook at low heat, stirring, for 15 minutes until mushrooms are slightly browned.

  • Puree mixture in a blender with 1/2 cup heavy cream until stiff. If too stiff, add cream 1 tablespoon at a time.

  • Put mixture in a bowl and stir in salt to taste.

  • After smoothing surface with a knife, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 hours. Serve on toasts.

  Carolyn Blue,

  “Have Fork, Will Travel,”

  Toronto Mail

  9

  Dinner Palermo Style

  Bianca

  I managed to station myself right beside Signor Ricci and mention how comfortable the seat looked to a woman as close to childbirth as I. Naturally he pulled out the chair for me, looking down the neckline of my dress as he helped me into my seat. This happened before his wife could tell people where to sit at the round table in the round dining room whose walls were covered with murals depicting the Roman era on the Bay of Naples. Very decadent—Roman ladies in gossamer gowns reclining on couches with soldierly men in short robes and boots, all drinking and sharing grapes. I wouldn’t have objected to a nice couch to recline on while the distinguished Signor Ricci fed me whatever was on the menu. Once I was down, everyone else took seats. There are rewards to pregnancy in Italy. Even if our birthrate is startlingly low, we still pay lip service to the virtues of motherhood.

  I directed my darlings to seats beside me, and Lorenzo took the other end of our family to keep them in line. Our blonde Sicilian hostess sat beside her husband with the red-eyed Valentino to her left and the Frenchies beyond him. I could have felt sorry for her if she hadn’t been so snobbish and so obviously irritated that I had usurped her right to arrange the seating at her own table. If it was so important to her, she should have used place cards, not that it would have stopped me from sitting next to her husband and questioning him about the dead girl.

  Beyond Lorenzo and my children sat Carolyn. She was chatting sweetly with Andrea, which, of course, softened my heart toward Carolyn, but not my brain. I’m sure there are many murderesses who love children. Her companion, Signor Girol, was talking across the table to Professor Stackpole about the disposal of toxic materials in England, and Mrs. Stackpole, who was seated by the professor from France, was asking him questions about his dog, particularly whether the dog gave them trouble by eating plants in their garden, to which Adrien Guillot replied that they owned a very delightful apartment in the old section of Lyon but no garden, and that their dog, whose ancestors were hunting dogs, naturally preferred meat to greens. Where was the dangerous Charles de Gaulle? I wondered. Under the table sniffing out Carolyn for another foray? Between the Stackpoles and Girol were two empty seats awaiting the missing chemists.

  The primi piatta, pasta alla Norma, a delicacy from Catania according to our hostess, was served, and I asked Ruggiero, as he suggested I address him, if he had any idea who might have been the lover of his late secretary.

  “If only it had been I,” exclaimed Valentino bitterly.

  “No more crying,” our hostess cautioned. Then she tasted her pasta and summoned the headwaiter. “Too much garlic,” she snapped. “We are neither Sicilian peasants, nor Romans.”

  “My apologies, Signora Ricci-Tassone,” he stammered. “I will inform the chef.”

  “Very tasty,” I murmured to the poor man, catching his sleeve as he passed by. “But then, I’m Roman, not Sicilian.”

  “What was that?” demanded Constanza.

  “I was asking your husband about Paolina Marchetti. Her death caused quite a stir in the hotel.”

  “I have no idea who she came to meet,” he said, scowling.

  “Well, do not worry, my love,” said his wife cheerfully. “Gracia will be here by morning to take over. She is a fine woman—nurse to me and to my children,” she explained to the group at large. “When her husband died, I saw to it that she went to school so that she could become the manager of my husband’s office. Even as we grieve, the meeting must go on, and Gracia will see to it. The Sindaccos have been servants to the Tassones for centuries.”

  “The woman’s an old witch,” Ruggiero muttered to me.

  “Really? I’ve never met one,” I replied. “I think they’re extinct from Rome north.”

  “One what?” demanded Constanza, who had not invited me to call her by her first name. When I shrugged, she said, “It is very sad that Paolina was so distressed over her love life that she would kill herself. I hope she went to confession before doing so. It might ameliorate her fate in the afterlife, for we all know that suicide is a sin, but suicide unshriven—ah, here is the tonno alla Palermitana. That is tuna fish in the style of Palermo. Do not look so gloomy, Ruggiero. Our guests will think you do not like the menu I have chosen. Each dish,” she said to the table at large, “I have chosen to make you familiar with the delights of Sicilian cuisine, which is different from any in the world. Signora Blue, may I ask why you are writing on a notepad. Is something wrong with the fish?”

  Carolyn looked up and smiled beatifically. “It’s too wonderful for words, Signora. I write about food for American newspapers, and this is a meal that I must describe.”

  “Ah. I am happy to think that Americans will have a chance to read about fine cuisine.”

  The woman was as pretentious and arrogant as the Frenchies, I thought, and then smiled at Ruggiero when he patted my knee and asked if he could help me to more fish. “You must come to Rome, where we have wonderful veal Marsala, a Sicilian dish, which I recommend to you,” I responded.

  “Perhaps after the birth of your child,” he replied in an intimate undertone. I’d have to tell Carolyn that he didn’t seem to be so broken up over the death of Paolina that he wasn’t on the lookout for a new love, assuming that Paolina had been his love. I did not know that.

  “I shall see that you are provided with recipes for these dishes if you desire them,” Constanza said to Carolyn, who agreed enthusiastically. Then laughing with delight at the thought, she told us that recipes in historic cookbooks had interesting size and time instructions.

  “For instance, there’s a recipe for ravioli that advises the chef to make the ravioli the size of a half chestnut and to cook the pasta while sayin
g the Lord’s Prayer two times, then take it off the fire. In fact,” she continued, “the Italian word for recipe comes from a Latin word recepta, which referred to a doctor’s prescription for his patient or for a pharmacist.”

  Constanza stared at her. “You seem to know a lot about food and its history. Let me assure you that any recipe I provide will have no medicinal quality beyond nourishment and will contain modern measurement instructions, although you may have to translate European measures into—is something the matter, Signora Blue?”

  A look of horror had passed over Carolyn’s face. Then her body jerked back, she grasped the edge of the table, and a canine howl followed.

  “Mon Dieu,” exclaimed Adrien Guillot. “Albertine, I believe your wretched dog is again hounding Madame Blue.”

  The Frenchie rose in as dignified a manner as possible, considering that her dog had obviously been guilty of some antisocial behavior, such as nosing the crotch of a fellow diner. Albertine ordered Charles de Gaulle out from under the table, pointed toward a curved wall, and snapped her fingers, sending him into exile with his head hanging, again. “Sit,” she commanded in French, her voice dripping with ice. Poor dog. I’d have been miserable too if she were my mistress.

  “Are you all right, my dear Signora Blue?” asked our hostess. Poor Carolyn, whose hands were shaking and whose face was pale, nodded. “Good,” said the very self-absorbed Sicilian. “I must add a caution to my offer of recipes,” she continued. “The quality of the ingredients is most important in the preparation of these dishes. Such fine ingredients may not be available in the United States, which, I’m told, is a land of food that is preprepared in boxes and frozen lumps.” Nonetheless, she looked gratified at Carolyn’s interest, although when she tasted the tuna herself, she remarked to the headwaiter that the white wine used in its preparation was not dry enough.

  “Well, here you are!” exclaimed a familiar voice from the direction of the door. I turned my head and saw my mother-in-law, dressed for the occasion and all smiles. Where had she been? And how like her to arrive after I’d had to bring the children to the dinner. “Shall I take the little ones up to bed, Bianca?” she asked, although I was sure she had no intention of being left out of the fun.

  “Don’t make us go upstairs, Mama,” cried Andrea, who had been devouring his fish with gusto. “The dinner’s so delicious. We want to finish, don’t we, Giulia?”

  Constanza beamed at them. “Such sweet children. Of course, they must stay. It pleases me to see little ones appreciating good food.”

  My daughter nodded vigorously over a pretty dress, now dotted with sauce from the pasta and a few sprigs of rosemary from the fish. Since she had a forkful of fish waving in time to her nods, a bit of rosemary sailed in my direction. However, used to such problems, I quickly draped a napkin over my shoulder in case it landed.

  “Can’t Granny have dinner here, and then we’ll go upstairs?” Andrea asked. “Signora Blue is telling me and Papa what’s in everything, so we can tell you, Mama, and you can make these things. And then Granny can tell us a story before we go to bed.”

  Lorenzo stood up to kiss his mother, who was then duly introduced and took a seat beside Hank Girol. He rose courteously to pull out her chair and greeted her warmly. Violetta is an amazing woman, all curls and flounces and pretty ways. She flirted right back over the next course, a caponata that raised questions about the capers from Constanza. She detected that they had been preserved in vinegar rather than brine, as was preferable. The dish was delicious. Obviously, she just liked to complain.

  I could hear my mother-in-law telling Lorenzo that she had taken the wrong plane from Rome and ended up in Milan, rather than Naples, where a charming employee of Alitalia had been so sympathetic that he had taken her out for a wonderful meal, a risotto, which the Milanese do so well, until such time as she could get a plane to Naples. No one but my mother-in-law could manage to get on the wrong plane—she’d probably been flirting with the ticket-taker—and cap that off by getting a free meal and a free ticket to her original destination. However, she was good with the children and an amiable woman in general—she’d come to live with us after Lorenzo’s father died—except for her propensity to accuse me of a desire to be unfaithful to her son.

  “Well, my husband’s colleagues are scandalized that we have a third child on the way,” I said in response to a remark from Ruggiero about the fecundity of beautiful women.

  “There is no scandal in children,” said Constanza. “Children are a gift from God. What fault could Romans find in—”

  “Oh, the good things of life that are taken away from the first children by each additional child—education, cottages on the beach, cultural opportunities,” I replied airily.

  “Years of sleeplessness for the parents,” my husband added.

  “One hires a nursemaid to take care of wakeful children,” said Constanza. “You should pay no attention to your husband’s colleagues, Signora Massoni. God has blessed you.” Then she looked at me narrowly, with the eye of a woman who has borne her own children, and added, “And he will bless you again very soon. I am surprised you felt able to leave Rome in your condition.”

  “My doctor doesn’t seem to think the baby will arrive this week,” I replied, and switched the subject. “Having heard of how beautiful Paolina was, I’m surprised that she wasn’t married with children of her own.”

  “You seem amazingly interested in a woman you did not know, Signora,” said our hostess.

  “I did not know her, but Carolyn spent time with her before she died and was quite taken with Paolina, weren’t you, Carolyn?”

  Carolyn nodded and swallowed a mouthful of her caponata. “Yes,” she agreed. “We had a mutual interest in poetry. In fact, Paolina wrote poetry, which I found admirable. Signora Ricci, this caponata is marvelous. I do love eggplant, and the strange thing is that when the Arabs brought it to Italy, people were suspicious of it. In fact, the Italian word for eggplant, melanzana, comes from mela insana, which means ‘unsound apple.’ It was thought to be vulgar and eaten only by the lower classes.”

  While Carolyn was telling us more than I, for one, needed to know about eggplant, I noticed that Ruggiero looked surprised to hear that his secretary had been a poetess. Perhaps he hadn’t been her lover. Surely he would have known about the poetry if they were intimate. In fact, the only person who seemed to know anything personal about Paolina was Carolyn. I pondered whether their acquaintance had been of a longer duration than the one day Carolyn admitted to. Could Carolyn have been the lover who came to Paolina that night and then killed her? Amazing as it seems to me, there are women who make love to women. I’d definitely have to make discreet enquiries about the time the two women had spent together at the hotel.

  “I believe our two missing scientists have arrived,” said Ruggiero heartily.

  We all turned to see a rather short but handsome bearded man and a tall, red-haired woman, who would have been prettier without her glasses.

  Hank Girol stopped flirting with my mother-in-law and rose to greet his wife. Carolyn did not rise to greet her husband. Instead she stared at Girol’s wife. I pondered what that might mean. The possibilities were: She was uninterested in her husband. She was interested in Girol’s wife. She was jealous of the two new arrivals. Or she, too, thought the glasses Girol’s wife wore would be better replaced by contact lenses.

  Recipes from Sicily are much like those from the Campania because the cultural influences over the centuries—Greek, Roman, Arab, Norman, French, and Spanish—were similar. In the fish recipe that follows, the Arabs brought lemons to the island, and the sea provides tuna. Wine was a popular flavoring with both the Greeks and Romans. In the vegetable recipe, the use of sweet and sour flavoring was popular with both the Romans and the chefs of the Middle Ages, but the use of sugar, instead of honey, for sweet flavoring, came from Sicily, which grew sugar cane while the rest of Europe was still limited to honey. Both Sicily and the Campania have rich soil
because of the volcanic eruptions of Etna and Vesuvius.

  Tuna in the Style of Palermo

  • Combine 8 ounces dry white wine with the juice of one lemon, several sprigs of rosemary, a crushed clove of garlic, salt, and freshly ground pepper.

  • Slice 1 1/4 pounds tuna fish, wash well, and marinate in the wine mixture for 2 or more hours.

  • Remove and drain the fish. Grill on both sides, basting with the marinade.

  • Heat in a skillet 4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil and, using a fork, mash in 3 sardine fillets to form a paste, which is then spread on the tuna.

  • Serve garnished with rosemary and cherry tomatoes.

  Caponata

  • Wash and slice 1 pound small eggplants, salt, and drain in a sieve to remove the bitter juices.

  • Dice finely 1 pound onions, blanch 4 stalks celery and cut in small pieces, halve 1 cup green olives and remove stones, and blanch and press 1 pound tomatoes through a sieve. Rinse eggplants in cold running water, drain, and pat dry with paper towels.

  • Heat eggplant on both sides to golden brown in 4 tablespoons hot vegetable oil and drain on paper towels.

  • Sauté onions gently in a saucepan in 6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil. Add celery, olives, and tomatoes, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and simmer 5 minutes. Add 2 tablespoons sugar, 7 tablespoons wine vinegar, and 3 tablespoons capers, and simmer 10 more minutes until vinegar odor has disappeared.

  • Let vegetables cool before serving.

  Carolyn Blue,

  “Have Fork, Will Travel,”

  Summit, NJ, News

  10

  The Return of an Errant Husband

  Carolyn

  My husband entered the dining room beside a strange woman with whom he looked completely comfortable. She was quite tall and, although wearing flats, topped Jason by four or five inches. They both looked somewhat rumpled, certainly not dressed for this dinner party. All smiles, she embraced Hank and introduced him to Jason, making me feel like an outsider, someone watching my own husband’s arrival without any part in it. More introductions followed, and Bianca’s mother-in-law insisted on giving her seat to Sibyl Evers and taking the two children off with her.