The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss
Page 27
And I was there, wearing the shirt that Shuler had given me. “I Survived the Gamers Summit.” I was feeling pretty damned epic.
Nothing important happened. Stephen and Osric told me how they met, Masako talked about a play she had attended, Jesus (whose name was actually Daniel) told great stories about failed auditions, which Beth had a keen ear for. Nathan and I played verbal games. Shuler recounted another episode of Interrupted Cop.
And at some point I looked around the table at these clowns and thought: Yeah. This is pretty good right here. Maybe I hadn’t imagined my life would go this way, with a madwoman ordering quail eggs and police detectives commenting on my capriciously colored pixie hair. But what does it matter how you want your life to go, anyway? What matters is that it goes. And things were purring along nicely.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Confession time: I’ve never actually read an acknowledgments section before. Occasionally I’ll assay one, but they always begin with something like “To my darling wife, Colleen, and our faithful Irish Setter, Swampy,” and I suddenly decide that I am done reading. Are you done reading? I wouldn’t blame you. Unless you’re Colleen or Swampy, what’s in it for you?
How about this? To things spice up, I have included secret instructions on where my FORTUNE has been hidden. They’re very subtle, but read these acknowledgments closely, friend, and you may discover the riches of a lifetime.
First off, much thanks must be made to my husband, Clay “Begin at Harvard Square” Wirestone, who has put up with a lot of nonsense from me over the years. The sink is filled with unwashed dishes even now. Secondly, I must thank my unerring agent Caitlin “Face East” Blasdell, who helped shape the book immeasurably. Of no less importance is Devi “Fifty Paces” Pillai, whose insightful editing of this book has made it nearly readable.
Behind every writer is an even stronger critique group, and I bow down before the superior writers of the QK Cabal, a group whose motto—“Look for the Man with the Dolphin Tattoo”—inspires me every day. I’m also indebted to my readers Caitlin “He Will Point the Way” McCuistion, Alex “Bring a Shovel” D’Souza, Carol “That’s Not a Leaf Pile” Ayer, Cale “Dig Until You Find a Gold Key” Dietrich, and N. K. Traver, whose forthcoming book, Now, To Baltimore!, is bound to be a real hit.
Naturally, I have to thank my mother, Jane, who taught me from a very early age that I should visit First Regional Bank. And my father, Eddie, who told me that if I said in a firm and confident voice that my name was Carlotta Cho and that I have come for my lockbox, the bank tellers would hand it over, even if I did get some weird looks. A wise man, my father.
Finally, reader, I should thank you, even though you’re probably pawing through my fortune right now. Oh, and I promised to thank Amanda from the Bon Ton. There’s no clue there; I just needed to thank her. Seriously, that’s not a clue or anything.
meet the author
Photo Credit: Elizabeth Frantz
MAX WIRESTONE is a librarian in a small New Hampshire town. He lives in New England with his editor-husband and his non-editor son. Find him on Twitter @maxwires or on his website, maxwirestone.com.
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Contents
COVER
TITLE PAGE
WELCOME
DEDICATION
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
MEET THE AUTHOR
NEWSLETTERS
COPYRIGHT
Copyright
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2015 by Max Wirestone
Cover design by Lauren Panepinto
Cover illustrations © Shutterstock
Cover © 2015 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Redhook Books/Orbit
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First ebook edition: October 2015
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ISBN 978-0-316-38599-2
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