Sand and Sin

by Dani Jace

  A shadow crossed his face. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re in your prime, but I understand you’ve already raised a child.”

  “For the right man, I might do another round.” She’d seriously consider having his baby. The thought excited her, made her feel sexy and feminine. However, the recollection of sleepless nights and countless diaper changes brought her back to reality.

  His faced brightened with a widening gaze. A light smile played at his lips. “I’d like to apply, but there’s a problem of about three thousand miles.”

  By the tone of his voice, he didn’t expect things to change. Last night, he’d seemed optimistic, but in today’s harsh morning light, his view had changed.

  Taking his hands in hers, she said, “I have no expectations, Jax. Nor should you feel obligated.” A few more nights of fantastic sex to carry her into old age. Sad. But after having an exceptional lover, the mediocre wouldn’t do.

  “At least, let me show you some of San Diego.” He leaned forward and tucked her hair behind her ear.

  “I’ve always wanted to see the zoo.”

  * * * *

  Jax would have never considered taking a woman to the zoo before today. He’d always been a fuck-n-go guy, out before breakfast the following morning. They wandered past the open habitats and stopped where two jaguars splashed in the pool, chasing the stocked fish.

  “Who’s your favorite?” Peri laughed at their play.

  “They used to have a black jag who played tug of war with the keepers. I remember him from my visit to California as a child. I wanted to be as lethal as the cat and swim as well as the dolphins.”

  “I think you did both.” She squeezed his arm. “My parents never took a vacation. Heck, I’d never flown until…”

  Her hesitation made him curious, especially the way she chewed her nail. “You got married?”

  Her attention returned to the jaguars now chasing one another. “I dated a Navy pilot briefly before marrying Sean.”

  He’d been schooled in judging people’s body language and voice intonation, but even without training, it was clear she hid something. “Was he transferred?”

  “No.” She swallowed hard. “Just didn’t work out. Can we see the polar bears?” She clasped his bicep.

  “Sure.” During their walk, he learned more about her family. While he’d had a great relationship with his father, she hadn’t. After she married Sean, her parents moved to Florida and were now traveling the country. She seemed dejected they never took an interest in Haley.

  Her face brightened at the bears’ underwater antics. He loved seeing her laugh and smile. It physically warmed him. He lived for his job, but she made him want more. After the bears received their lunch of fish, Jax’s stomached growled. “How about we get some food before everyone hears how hungry I am?”

  After ordering, she found a table shaded by trees while he waited for their food.

  He returned with burgers and fries and sat next to her. “What?”

  “Just admiring you coming and going.” She grinned while divvying up the food. “Tell me about growing up on the Texas coast.”

  “First, let me thank you for straying so far from your home.” He pecked her kiss-swollen mouth. A reminder of their extreme fun last night and this morning. God help him, he wanted more. “Not much to tell. My father and his brother were shrimpers. I spent summers and weekends during the fall on the boat with them. He kept my mother in designer clothes, though she never wanted to be seen out anywhere with him. He drowned while she was legs up in a hotel with her lover. I was in BUD/S school.”

  Peri’s French fry slipped from her grasp. “Oh.”

  He shrugged. Probably too much information. “She took the insurance money. Sold my father’s share of the business to his brother and moved to Houston. Three months later, she married the suit she’d been cheating on my father with. Now he’s probably fucking some other woman on his desk while she’s busy spending his money and keeping a major vodka retailer in business.”

  The sudden correlation between his parent’s history and his lack of relationships hit him in his solar plexus like a bullet. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees. He’d never trusted any woman until now. Why did it have to be the one he couldn’t have or, rather, couldn’t make work because of fucking geography?

  Damn, and she had stayed true to him even when there were no ties.

  Concern etched her face as lines between her brows.

  “Sorry, I guess I could have fed you all of that in bite-size pieces.”

  “Sometimes a tragedy brings to light what we previously failed or didn’t want to see.”

  “A clinical diagnosis, Angel?” His tone mocked before he bit a hunk out of his burger. He hated people shrinking him.

  “I know SEALs are deemed nearly infallible and bulletproof, but you’ve had a lot to deal with recently.” She rubbed her hand along his forearm.

  Her comment agitated him more than the hole in his leg and the dance of military red tape. His injury and loss of a brother was nothing compared to what other wounded warriors dealt with. She should have left him outside of her bar that night, then he wouldn’t care where he ended up doing his job.

  Damn her for making him realize what he’d been missing with a woman. He frowned and set the burger down. “I’ve had it easy compared to most of my brothers, Peri, especially the one in the box. The only easy day was yesterday.”

  * * * *

  His stare turned lethal. His mouth drew to a straight line as a muscle worked in his jaw.

  Peri shivered. Her blood chilled. She’d fucking struck a nerve without meaning to.

  For the first time, the brutal, calculating, trained killer appeared.

  While he took renewed interest in his food, she played with hers. An apology now would only piss him off more. After a few minutes of people watching, she checked her phone and read a message from Haley.

  Sean sent confirmation of their trip to Egypt for August. Oh, Lord. Damn, she’d hoped her ex’s friend had withdrawn the offer.

  “What’s wrong?” The harsh lines on his face softened.

  She explained the trip.

  He copped another stony look. Her stomach dropped further.

  “I thought he was taking her to Europe, not the fucking Middle East.” He balled up his napkin. “It’s just that…”

  “Only the first week. The second week they’re going to see the pyramids. Sean knows someone in the embassy who can give them a private tour.”

  Jax leaned back in his chair and drummed the table with his fingers in a frustrated beat. “Not the best part of the world to be visiting these days.”

  “Not much I can do about a lot of things.” The last of her patience exhausted, she rose and headed for the waste bin with her leftover food.

  His arms came around hers from behind and finished tossing their trash. “I’m sorry for giving you attitude, Angel. No excuses.” He pressed a kiss against her nape. “And I’m sure Haley will be fine. You’re ex’s embassy friend will have protective personnel.”

  She cut him a look. “Not helping.”

  “How about the pandas and some ice cream?” He baited her with a little boy grin.

  What a sucker she was for his pretty boy shit.

  * * * *

  Rapid gunfire drilled Peri upright in bed. She clutched her chest as the dream dissipated in a red stain of blood. Jax’s heated chest instantly warmed her back and his arms tightened their hold.

  His lips feathered along her neck. “Only a dream, Angel.”

  Tears burned her eyelids. She’d probably never hear those words again. The gnawing ache in her chest nearly split her sternum. She let her head loll against him. “Scared me.”

  He moved over her. So close, his heartbeat drummed against her chest. “I won’t let anything happen to you or Haley.”

  “How? I’ll be on the other side of the country. And she’ll be out of
the country.”

  “And I’ve got eyes everywhere, baby.” He kissed her nose.

  Peri wrapped her legs around him. “Guess I better behave.

  He filled her slowly. “Except when you’re with me.” He grinned.

  How she would miss his lovemaking. At least she’d had a taste of what she’d always imagined as a loving relationship.

  She willed her tears away, having learned the trick years ago. She’d vowed to never let Sean see how much he’d hurt her.

  Jax’s eyes misted as he stared into hers. The blue almost nonexistent against his black pupils. “You’re my heaven, Peri.”

  It was almost her undoing.

  He held her, thrusting slowly, taking his time. Their last time. His kisses felt like sensual, hot brands along her neck and breasts.

  She clutched at his back. A familiar tightening blossomed and spread. From to the highest plane she fell into a sweet abyss.

  He groaned and stilled as his warmth filled her.

  Her womb clenched as another orgasm set her adrift.

  Two hours later, they arrived at the airport. Jax grabbed her carry-on and a large gift bag from the back seat of the four-door truck.

  A going-away gift? She couldn’t imagine when he’d had time to shop when they’d been together nearly every minute. Then again, it was his job to the master of stealth. She hooked her arm in his and started the long walk.

  Each step took more effort like she walked in deep water.

  Jax slowed his pace and put his arm around her shoulder. At the terminal gate, he handed her the bag. “Something to remind you I’m always with you, Angel.”

  She kissed him, finishing a lingering trace along his lips with her tongue. “I’m with you too, sailor.” Her raised her fist to her heart and planted her palm against his strumming heartbeat.

  Without glancing back, she strode for the jet that would separate them indefinitely.

  Once in her seat, she glanced into the bag and drew out a plush stuffed animal. A golden seal with the sweetest face and the softest coat. Tied around his neck was a blue ribbon with a trident with a small envelope pinned to it.

  With trembling fingers she opened it.

  It seems fate has other plans for us right now, Angel. My heart aches that we might never have a chance to be together. I love you!

  Jax.

  She messaged, I love you too! Burying her face against the seal’s soft fur, she allowed the comforting creature to catch her tears.

  Chapter 19

  At a loss, Jax sat in his truck for long minutes. He’d never been confronted by what he faced now. Even preparing for and during missions, he always had a back-up plan in mind. It was part of being a SEAL. Expect the unexpected. How had he missed the unknown X factor where Peri was concerned?

  You never expected to fall in love, dumb ass.

  He punched the ignition button and headed for the coastal highway. He’d always lived along the coast. Maybe that was part of the allure of joining the Navy. His job set him up to meet Peri. Now it kept him from being with her.

  He didn’t want to believe he’d never see her again. Could he navigate his way to the East Coast before she tired of waiting and found another man? She certainly had opportunity to meet the best of the best at the Trident. The only thing going for him was she didn’t usually mix business with pleasure.

  Which would drive him crazy first? Continuing to play trainer instead of being in the field or trying to sleep without her nestled against him? Waking up next to a woman was something he’d never admitted a need for until now.

  He stopped at one of the small cantina bars along the road and downed a beer before taking a hike along the rock-strewn beach. He walked until the sun sank below the watery horizon, and headed home to cold sheets.

  There, her citrusy aroma greeted him, offering him a bit of solace.

  * * * *

  The pink and orange flowers on the wall of Haley’s retro sixties bedroom made Peri’s head ache.

  Haley stuffed the last of her clothes into the suitcase and zipped the bulging rectangle shut.

  Seated on the chair by the desk, Peri sealed her heart closed with the bag. Since visiting Jax, the chasm between Haley and her had only widened. The sullen teen’s know-it-all attitude brooked no room for discussion over anything. What was a mom to do? Nagging would only push her further away.

  “Just let me live with Dad after the trip. You can sell the bar and go be with Jax.” Haley flung the suitcase onto the floor. The lime-green rug beside her bed muffled the thud.

  The bar was almost as much her baby as Haley. The place had kept her sane during her divorce. If she and Jax ever became a couple, it would occupy her during his deployments and missions. She had given everything up for her ex, and where had it gotten her? If Jax wanted to be with her, he’d find a way.

  “I don’t want you falling for the first man who shows you any attention, Haley.” Her words slipped. She covered her mouth like she could take them back.

  Haley’s brown gaze bore into her. “I won’t make that mistake, Mom. A couple more years and I’m off to college anyway.” She sank onto her bed and crossed her legs. “You’re so happy with Jax, and he seems to feel the same about you.”

  Peri propped her elbow on the desk and rested her head on her hand. “How would you know how he feels about me?”

  “We’ve talked.”

  She rose to her feet. “When?”

  “When he was staying here, I told him not be an asshole to you.” Her face morphed into a devious grin.

  “You didn’t.” Peri clenched her teeth.

  “He got it. Just like I understood when he wouldn’t let me walk to my friend’s for a sleepover.” She grabbed her phone on the nightstand. “He gave me his number. We’ve talked a couple of times since he went home.”

  Peri maintained a conscious effort to keep her mouth from opening like a wide-mouthed frog.

  Haley kept smiling, seeming to enjoy the show.

  “About?”

  “While he was here, he’d told me a couple of tricks in one of the black-ops video games. So, I called him one night after losing to one of my friends. We’ve played a few games online, and he gave me some special tips…SEAL tips. He asked me how you were doing.” Haley paused and studied her.

  Peri’s heart hammered as adrenaline flooded her veins. Haley and Jax were friends? “Oh.”

  She sighed. “He said he missed you but didn’t know when he could see you again. He seemed down about it. He told me to call him if I ever needed him for anything.”

  Peri blinked, warding off tears she didn’t want seen. “Wow.”

  “So what’s holding you back, Mom?”

  Those brown eyes shook her to the core. Peri hesitated, but it was only fair to tell her the truth. “Fear of starting over. Losing all the ground I’ve gained since your dad left. I’m not young anymore, baby. I’m fairly sure he wants children.”

  Her lovely Haley waved a hand in the air, dismissing her comment. “Tara’s mom is a couple of years older than you and she just found out she’s pregnant. I think it’d be cool to have a little sister or brother.”

  A rush of enthusiasm shot though Peri. The high might keep her going until Haley returned from Europe with her dad.

  * * * *

  Jax doubled-checked his jumping partner’s rig, and received the same courtesy.

  Wolverine cinched his harness straps with an equally harsh tug.

  Jax grimaced in silence.

  “Don’t want you to damage the family jewels.” The bearded muscleman joked over the roar of the plane’s engines.

  He replied in a high pitch. “No problem.” The Midwest rancher must have plenty of experience castrating bulls. Jax scanned the blackness beyond the open ramp at the plane’s rear.

  “Come on, GQ, let’s get you back in the saddle.” He pounded Jax’s shoulder and smirked.

  He’d done plenty of d
ay jumps since being back in Coronado. Tonight, he’d jump HALO, or high altitude with low opening, in full gear and at night for the first time since his injury. He focused on the double-checks drilled into him during jump school and every jump since.

  Excitement tightened his muscles. He sprinted behind Wolverine off the ramp, free falling through the clouds. Diving into the abyss was as close to sex as he’d get for a while.

  With no reference other than the distant lights below, he plummeted to earth. Through his enclosed helmet, air rushed by in a whisper compared to his breathing and murmuring heartbeat.

  He was used to living day by day, never knowing where he’d lay his head to sleep or if he’d have an opportunity. Since falling for the lioness of the Trident, he imagined knowing a real home where he’d enjoy playing handyman and more. After he’d lost his father, home was just a term. He longed for the peace he felt with Peri.

  He checked his altimeter, relayed his intent into his mic, and pulled the cord of his winged canopy. A sudden jerk slowed him from terminal velocity to an easy glide.

  Clusters of lights twinkled along the landscape below. Gaining his bearings, he sighted a familiar lighthouse along the coastline. From there, he braked right using the chute handles and glided for the LZ.

  He touched down within the circle of the landing zone lit by a few glow sticks. With experienced ease, he gathered his silk and headed for Wolverine, who was already waiting in their ride.

  Back at the airbase, his phone vibrated. He retrieved it from his cargo pocket. A message from Haley’s number puzzled him. She wasn’t even in the country. Her call a few weeks ago had startled him but in the end secretly pleased him. She either respected his game skills or had sought to check up on him, being ever protective of her mother. He deemed it both, plus a mild case of curiosity. With a smile, he tapped her photo to open the message, ready to answer a gamer question.

  Calypso taken 4 gmen 8 us white van

  His heart stopped as he reread the message. She wouldn’t punk him about being abducted, especially using her gamer call sign. He responded, hoping she’d silenced her phone, Roger, on it!