Beautiful Rose

by Missy Johnson

  "Anyone want a drink?" I called out. Responses came in thick and fast, everyone requesting something different. My question had broken the awkward silence. I rolled my eyes. I shouldn't have asked.

  "I'll give you a hand," Rose said, jumping up.

  Before I could answer she was beside me. My fingers trembled as I clutched on to a glass. Placing it under the tap, I filled it with beer. She stood beside me carefully pouring out two glasses of wine. All I could think right then was that if it weren't for the table full of people to our left, my body would be pressed up against hers my mouth finally tasting those sweet lips.

  "Thanks for this, Jack. For giving me a chance. I promise I won't let you down." She took the beer from my hands.

  “Thank Alex, but I’m glad you’re here. I’m looking forward to getting to know you, Rose.”

  She flashed me a smile. “Really? That’s not the feeling I got before.”

  “Something you will learn pretty quickly around here is that I can be a huge ass sometimes. But I’m not past admitting when I’m wrong,” I chuckled.

  She tilted her head and smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. Maybe, if you’re free for lunch one day I can take you to experience the best Tacos Brooklyn has to offer?”

  Her proposal came out of nowhere, knocking the wind out of me. Suddenly, I was right back where I was before, my shame for being attracted to this sexy beauty beginning to take over. I glanced away, feeling guilty about the dirty thoughts that were circling through my brain. How the fuck was I supposed to focus when all I wanted to do was drag her up to my room, throw her down on the bed and fuck some sense into her? Of course, she didn't know what she was doing to me. She had no fucking idea just how much I wanted to feel myself inside of her, and even less idea why that could never happen.

  Just tell her no. Tell her it’s a confliction of power, being her boss and all. “Sounds good,” I choked out. Bugger. Now I was fucked. I was taking direction from my dick rather than my brain, and if past experience had taught me anything, it was that my dick knew fuck all when it came to doing what’s right.

  Chapter Seven

  Rose

  I shifted uncomfortably, the headrest cutting into my neck as I struggled to find a position that would allow me at least a few more hours sleep. Mom and Dad had threatened to kick me out if I didn't 'comply' with their treatment plan, but the fact that they'd done so had shocked me. I never thought I’d be sleeping in my car.

  What the hell was their problem? I was getting help, I just couldn't stand being in that god forsaken place a moment longer. Locking me up was not the answer. Did they expect that leaving me in that place for twelve weeks would leave them with a brand new daughter?

  I wish it were that easy.

  I didn't have a problem that could just be fixed with therapy or drugs. It was hard to describe how I felt. Most of the time I could work through the anxiety and get on with life, but eventually it would get on top of me. It was like I was running too fast and I knew I needed to slow down but my feet wouldn't listen. I could see the wall getting closer and closer and I knew I was going to hit it and it terrified me, but there was nothing I could do. What scared me the most was not knowing what was behind that wall.

  Still, it had to be better than living.

  Thank god for Alex getting me this job. That meant in a couple of weeks I could get a cheap place to rent. But in the meantime, I'd need to make the most of my car. I tried to stretch out my legs in the tiny foot well of the convertible.

  Why hadn't I listened to my father and gotten something more practical?

  Opening my eyes, I gave them a moment to adjust to the sunlight that was glaring through the windshield. Shit, and it wasn't even six in the morning yet. A garbage truck moved slowly past me, clambering along loudly, stopping every few meters to empty a bin. Somehow, I didn't like my chances of getting anymore sleep.

  I'd parked just down from the bar, off a side street where I thought I was least likely to be bothered. The police were the least of my worries. I was more concerned about having my window bashed in and being raped and murdered and having my naked body dumped in a trashcan.

  And who said Law and Order wasn't informative? That would teach my parents though. How bad would you feel having to go down to the morgue to identify your only daughter hours after you kicked her out for being too mentally unstable?

  As I chuckled at the thought, my stomach growled loudly, demanding to be fed. I spied a coffee shop across the road where a girl was carrying out tables and chairs. That had to mean they were open, right? My mind wandered back to the night when I was seventeen I got hungry after studying all night. I’d ducked down to the twenty four hour grocery store…Or at least I’d thought it had been twenty four hours. After about fifteen minutes of being stared at by staff, I was informed they were actually closed. I’d dropped the basket and run out, completely mortified.

  I sifted through my purse for the few dollars it would cost me to buy a coffee. Or ten. I had the feeling today was going to be a long day. I got out of the car and stretched. Oh god that felt good. I zipped up my jacket, the cool wind hitting me in the face enough to jolt me fully awake. I crossed the road and approached the girl.

  "Are you open?" I asked her.

  She smiled at me and nodded. "Just."

  "Can I get a coffee please?" I asked, handing her my money. I tried to ignore the glances she kept sneaking at me. Did I look that bad? I subtly wiped the edges of my mouth, wondering if I'd been drooling in my sleep again. Yeah, I did that sometimes. Okay, I did that often.

  "Anything else?" I shook my head. My stomach rumbled loud enough that she just had to have heard. "No. Just coffee." I stood up and walked over to a table, taking a copy of the newspaper with me. I had no intentions of reading it; I just didn't want the awkwardness of having nowhere to look while I waited. I yawned, covering my mouth and trying to keep my eyelids from falling closed. I think I'd gotten three hours, which was better than nothing but nowhere near enough. I was nervous enough about my first shift tonight without having to add exhausted to the list of things I was feeling. Reaching up to my neck, I tried to rub some of the tension away.

  "Here you go."

  I jumped, not even aware that she'd walked over to me. She placed a coffee and a stack of pancakes in front of me. I looked up at her, ready to hand them back, even though my stomach was screaming for food.

  "On the house." She smiled at me and just stood there, like she was trying to decide whether to say something. In the end, she slid into the seat opposite me. "What's your name?" she asked. Was she trying to hit on me?

  "Rose," I said, shoveling a forkful of food into my mouth, pushing all my dignity aside. God, this tasted so good. I was so hungry that I was barely chewing it as it passed down my throat.

  "Rose," she repeated. She bit her lip and eyed me hesitantly. The way she was looking at me made me nervous. No wonder this place was so empty, even if it was barely morning. Did she just stand there and stare at everyone? "I worked the late shift here last night...I saw you in your car. And then I arrive here to open and you're still there." Her voice was curt, almost as if she were accusing me of something. Okay, definitely not hitting on me.

  I didn't answer. I just kept eating. Answering required energy, which I just didn't have a lot of right now. Besides, there was no point denying it, and I doubted she would believe I just fell asleep. Wait a minute, why did I even need to explain myself to her?

  "It's a long story," I finally answered. I pushed the empty plate away from me and looked at her square in the eye. She couldn't have been any older than me. Her long straight black hair was dyed blue at the ends, and tattoos curled around her left arm, all the way up to her collarbone. Her tight black tee shirt and black pants showed off her tiny frame.

  She glanced around the empty diner and laughed. "Trust me, I got time."

  My eyes widened. She really couldn't take a hint, could she?

  "My parents and I had a disagreement.
They kicked me out." I replied evenly, my eyes not leaving hers.

  "Do you do drugs? Alcohol?"

  "No," I scoffed. Who the fuck was this chick? And more importantly, did I really look like the type of person who was into drugs? Scratch that, right now I probably did.

  "Look, my mom owns this place. Would you be interested in a couple of shifts?" I gaped at her. The last thing I’d expected was a job offer.

  "Do you often accost your customers into working for you?" I asked dryly as my mind processed her offer. A second job. Not the worst idea in the world. If things didn't work out at one, then I'd still have the other. And there was also the fact that I felt better when I had things to do. If I was left alone with my own thoughts for too long, things went downhill quickly. Another reason I had to get out of that damn hospital.

  She laughed. "Only the ones who look desperate enough to say yes," she shot back. "We've had a sign in the window for about a month, and an ad in the newspaper with no luck. You looked like someone who might say yes." She shrugged. “And frankly, until Ma finds someone, I'm stuck doing everything. I haven't seen my boyfriend in two weeks.” Ah. The truth was finally coming out. See? Nobody did anything without an agenda these days.

  "Well, I can't do evenings. I'm starting another job tonight." I said, finishing off my coffee. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a hair tie. Gathering my hair into a ponytail, I looped the band around it a few times.

  "That's cool. Mornings is when we get the most traffic." She saw me survey the empty diner and laughed. "Eight till twelve is our busy time." She stood up. "You'll need to meet Ma. She's out back." She nudged her head toward the back and stood up. I did too. We walked through the kitchen, and outside. Set back on the block was a brick house. It looked okay, much better than the drug den I was expecting. And cats. I have no idea why, but I’d been expecting lots of cats.

  I timidly stepped through the front door arch with my new friend, whose name I didn't even know. I could hear a television playing cartoons, and the smell of eggs wafted through the house. Was it odd that cartoons and the smell of eggs lessened my anxiety? Of course that was odd. There had to be something in that for my psychiatrist.

  "Ma!" the girl screeched. I jumped, instinctively wrapping my arms around myself. 'Ma' was a plump woman all of about five feet. She appeared from out of nowhere, glancing at me curiously. Her hair was the same dark shade as her daughters, only the roots were beginning to gray. She was still in her bathrobe, bright pink with blue flowers, which she pulled tightly around herself, readjusting the belt. Two little faces appeared from around the living room corner, both looking very intrigued.

  "How many times have I told you not to yell, Reena?" She tilted her head as she continued to look me over, as if she were trying to decide whether or not I was a threat "Whose this?" she sniffed.

  "Rose." I said, smiling, trying my best to look friendly.

  "Rose is interested in filling the job," Reena announced.

  "Do you have experience, Rose?" 'Ma' asked me, her arms crossed over her chest. Suddenly she didn't look so friendly.

  "I've just started an evening job at 'The Chill Bar'” I said, in what I hoped was a confident voice. It didn't really answer the question, but I was going for the logic that if someone else had hired me I must be alright.

  "Okay. How about a trial run tomorrow? If that works out, the job is yours."

  ""Great." I smiled." You won’t regret this."

  “Sure I won’t.” she smiled. I couldn't tell if that was sarcasm or not.

  Chapter Eight

  Rose

  I left the diner feeling a sense of accomplishment. I could have taken the events of the last hour as pity, but instead I chose to look at it another way. I was working, two jobs in fact. Now I just needed a place to stay. I climbed into my car and grabbed my phone, an idea forming in my head. I scrolled through my phone book app and found the nearest used car dealership.

  This was perfect. Why hadn't I thought of this earlier?

  I drove the two miles to Pete's Luxury Seconds. Despite the name (which I thought was better suited to a lower class brothel), the place looked okay. I had done my research on what to expect for a BMW in this condition, so I felt reasonably prepared. I knew how these guys worked. They saw a pretty girl and right away assumed she knew nothing. Well, they weren't about to fuck me over. I walked around the yard, hoping I looked like I knew what I was doing. There had to be about forty cars in the place, all lined up neatly in rows, one after the other. Three men who I guessed worked there stood near the office smoking, and watching me. In the far back corner, a small sedan caught my eye. Something like that was all I needed. Cheap and practical.

  "Can I help you?"

  I jumped, not realizing one of the men had walked over to me. He smiled. I nodded toward the car. My heart was racing, sure he could tell how little I knew about cars. I couldn’t even tell what model the sedan was.

  "I'm thinking of trading in my car, for something like this. What kind of deal could you offer me?" I asked sweetly, tilting my head. I bit my lip, playing up on the innocence card. Let him think I was hopeless and then BAM! Out of nowhere I’d recite all the facts I’d memorized about my car.

  He grinned, and slapped the roof of the car. "Good choice right here." He glanced over my shoulder toward the convertible. "Not a fan of the Beamer?"

  "I need cash more than I need that. So?" I prompted. "Not trying to rush you, I just have an appointment at another dealer," I said, gazing up at him. My fingers played with the hem of my dress as I stuck my leg forward slightly, as his eyes wandered up and down my leg.

  He reddened, and repositioned himself next to the car. I almost burst out laughing. Was he serious? This was way too easy. "Okay, well I think we can work something out. You don't need to go all the way over there when you'll only end up back here anyway," He winked at me.

  I giggled, flipping my hair over my shoulder. "Thank you sir! That would be amazing!" I flashed him another smile. He was old enough to be my grandfather, but apparently that didn't bother him. His eyes had barely left my chest for the last five minutes, except to check out my legs.

  "I can offer you the trade in, and five grand, cash."

  "How much is that?" I asked innocently, pointing to the sedan. I pretended I couldn't see the huge red and white sign displaying the price.

  "Two thousand, nine hundred."

  "Oh." I stopped, pretending to think for a moment. "Okay, I think I should try the other place. They told me over the phone I should be able to get at least twenty thousand for mine."

  He chuckled. "Twenty grand? Not going to happen, honey. It might be worth that much, but we have to make something off it, or what’s the point?"

  "Right, so you need to make twelve grand off it to be ‘worth your while’? Thanks anyway." I smiled, and began to walk away.

  "Wait!" he called. My heart began to slow to normal pace. I was near the front gate, and for a moment I thought he was going to let me leave. "Ten and the trade."

  "Done," I said, sticking out my hand.

  I drove out of the dealership with my new (old) car feeling a sense of accomplishment. I could just imagine the look on Dads face when he found out I'd pawned my Twenty-First birthday present for this piece of shit. My phone buzzed, indicating a message. I pulled over and shuffled through my bag, eventually grasping my hand on my phone. It was from Darcy.

  Hey, the room is still free if you're interested. You can come look at it anytime today. Darcy xx

  I texted back right away asking for the address. I still had a little bit of time before I was supposed to meet the psychiatrist. Following Darcy's directions to an apartment complex around the corner from the bar, I parked the car and walked over. It looked much more modern than I was expecting.

  I walked through the foyer feeling much more comfortable about everything. I'd expected Darcy and Benj to live in a dive, not a moderately expensive-looking complex in the middle of Brooklyn. I instantly
felt guilty. Gosh, how bad was I? I had done the one thing I despised most; I'd just assumed something about a person based on the very little I knew about them.

  I swallowed, the nerves in my stomach making me feel sick, and pressed the elevator button. When the doors opened, I stepped in and pressed the fifth floor. Darcy said she'd meet me at her friends place. I wondered what floor they lived on? The elevator rang as the doors opened. Darcy stood there waiting for me, a huge smile on her face.

  "Hey, it’s just up here." She smiled. I followed her along the hall a short distance, to apartment number fifty-seven. "Marina! She's here!" I cringed. Darcy was so loud. How could someone so tiny have so much energy, especially so early in the morning?

  A pretty woman appeared, a smile on her face. "You must be Rose."

  "Hi, it’s lovely to meet you," I said, extending my hand. Marina looked about thirty-five. She was short like Darcy, but heavy set. Her dark hair was tied up in a messy bun. She looked as though she was ready to leave for work. Her uniform I recognized as American Airlines from our last family trip to Vancouver.