by Nora Phoenix
“You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable with it,” Sven said. “But I thought you might like to have a relaxed breakfast. And Kean is right, I love babies.”
Grayson rose from his chair, then walked over to Sven and pressed a soft but claiming kiss on the omega's lips. “I’m heading to my room to work, honey. I love you so much.”
He kissed him again, a much longer kiss this time, and Ruari watched with amazement as Sven melted against the alpha, apparently not caring there were a bunch of other people in the room.
Kean cleared his throat rather loudly. “Guys, let’s not scare away our new arrival right away, shall we?”
The others left as Grayson pulled away, smacking Sven on his ass. “We’ll have to continue this later. Come find me when you’re done with your morning chores.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Sven said, and Ruari understood their relationship a lot better after that simple word, including Palani’s words when he introduced Grayson and his boys. All right, then. Grayson was their Daddy. All good with him.
Jax had started crying for real now, no longer content with being rocked. Sven washed his hands, and Ruari was surprised to see him practice the same hygiene that Kean had before. Someone had trained these guys well. Enar, he guessed.
Sven sat himself down at the kitchen table, then held out his hands to take Jax. Ruari watched as he cradled him in his arm, relieved when he noticed he got it right, and when Sven got his son to drink right away, Ruari's worries were gone. Sven looked up and smiled at him. “Grab yourself some breakfast. Kean can show you where everything is.”
With quick greetings, the others filed out of the kitchen, leaving the three of them. “What would you like?” Kean asked. “We have all kinds of cereal, oatmeal, I can make you some bacon and eggs or pancakes, whatever you want.”
Ruari’s eyebrows shot up. “You would cook for me?”
He hoped it didn’t come off as an insult, but he was surprised that a beta would cook for him, especially one like Kean who had a full-time job.
“Sure, I can make a mean omelet,” Kean said. “We grew up with parents who believed in raising independent sons, so even though Palani and I are betas and our youngest brother Rhene is an alpha, my mom taught all of us to cook.”
How about that? Ruari could barely keep his mouth from dropping open. “Oatmeal is fine, thank you. If you have it, could I please make it with milk instead of water?” God knew he could use the extra calories, as well as the vitamin D and calcium the milk offered.
“Absolutely. But I’ll make it for you. You sit down and enjoy a bit of downtime,” Kean said.
Ruari caught Sven looking from Kean to him and back, a soft smile playing on his lips as if he was privy to something Ruari didn’t know. Was this not normal behavior for Kean? Ruari pondered that as he sat down at the table, watching as Kean made oatmeal for him.
It was a bit of a coincidence, wasn’t it, that Kean had come into the kitchen when Ruari was there? Had he timed it like that? His words had betrayed a little bit, indicating he was hoping to run into Ruari. He couldn’t deny his attraction to the beta, but did this mean that Kean was feeling the same thing?
God, this would make things complicated. The man had no idea what he was getting into. Well, truth be told, he knew more than anyone else, having overheard Ruari’s entire conversation with Enar. That should make Ruari nervous, he figured, or even embarrassed or ashamed, but it didn’t. For some reason, it was comforting to know he wouldn’t have to explain that part.
So many people jumped to conclusions when they met a single omega with a baby, and most of them weren’t good. Ruari had endured more demeaning proposals over the last few months than he’d had in his entire life before.
But Kean was different. The man knew of his past, at least the sexual part, and he didn’t seem to care. Not that that cleared the way for them to be anything more than friends, Ruari thought with sadness. There was still the insurmountable issue of his father, and the threat that kept looming over his head. No, they could be friends, but anything more was all but impossible.
Still, as Sven fed Jax, then made him burp and cuddled with him, Ruari and Kean spent a good twenty minutes chatting at the breakfast table. It was the longest conversation Ruari had had with another adult in months, and his soul rejoiced in being seen and feeling heard.
If only it could last.
They had all gone to bed the previous evening without more talking, and though Grayson knew it had been the right thing to do with Sven being too exhausted, it didn’t sit right with him that they hadn’t talked things out. There was an emotional distance between them, a lack of intimacy that had never been there before. It reminded him of their first weeks, when they had still been struggling to find how they fit together. There had been no sweet words, no morning sex for him, and he hadn’t dared approach them either, too scared of forcing something they weren’t ready for it. But it left him unsatisfied, yearning to gain back what they had lost. If only he could figure out how.
It bothered him deeply, and he knew it would bother Sven even more. The omega was so sensitive to tension, and now that he was pregnant, Grayson really wanted to avoid that.
So after writing for an hour or two, he ventured outside, into the far fields where Lars was working. The beta looked shocked when Grayson showed up.
“Hi,” he said, and a stab of regret pierced Grayson’s heart.
Would he ever hear him say the word “Daddy” again? They had lost trust yesterday, he realized all over again, setting them back months. And it wasn’t just Lars. He found himself craving the intimacy that had been so easy and normal before. How could they get back to that? Maybe honesty was the best way.
“I figured it would be good if we talked,” he said. “I am struggling with what happened, and I’m sure you must be too.”
“Now?” Lars asked.
It wasn’t an unreasonable reaction, Grayson told himself. Technically, Lars was at work, even if that was a little different here on the ranch.
“I wanted to try to talk things through before lunch,” he explained.
Lars’s eyes lit up with understanding. “You don’t want to involve Sven in this.”
“He’s pregnant, Lars. I think he needs to be protected, don’t you agree?”
Lars pointed toward a shack where he stored some of his tools. “Let’s find shade behind the shed.”
They found a spot in the shade with their backs against the shed, and they sat for a few minutes, neither of them speaking.
“Are you still angry with me?” Lars then asked.
That question only reinforced Grayson’s decision to talk things through. “No, but you have every right to still be angry with me.”
Lars’s head shot sideways. “What do you mean?”
Grayson took a deep, fortifying breath. “I failed you yesterday, Lars, when I was angry with you, shouting at you, when I should’ve understood why you acted the way you did.”
“I should’ve known you guys wouldn’t go behind my back,” Lars said, and it was easy to hear the remorse in his voice.
“That’s why I was so angry with you,” Grayson said.
“I don’t understand.”
There was a slight hesitation at the end of that sentence, as if Lars had wanted to tag something on, the term of endearment Grayson missed so much. Even if it had been out of habit, hope flared up in Grayson’s heart that they would be able to get past this.
“Lars, sweetheart, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I can’t apologize for you walking in on us, because there was nothing else we could've done. I swear we weren’t talking about Sven's pregnancy for long before you walked in.”
“I believe you.”
“But I need to apologize for the way I reacted when I overheard what you said to Enar.”
“You were so angry with me,” Lars said, his voice sounding small.
“I was,” Grayson confirmed. “Though I’m sure you were pleasantly surprised by
how Enar stood up to me.”
Much to his relief, Lars let out a smile. “That was badass,” he said.
“I was wrong to get so angry with you over a gut reaction. And the fact that you came back to us, willing to talk things out, only proves it. I didn’t give you the time to get past your initial reaction, and for that, I’m truly sorry.”
They sat in silence for a bit before Lars reacted. “I hurt you by thinking you were capable of doing this,” he said.
“Yes, but I should’ve recognized where you were coming from. I didn’t consider the depth of your insecurities last night, and I blame myself for that.”
He didn’t want to say more, because this was not something they had ever talked about openly. It was always present beneath the surface, these insecurities, and all three of them had them. Sven, who was always worried either of them would be displeased with him. Lars, who even after spending months together, still wasn’t convinced he was worthy to be loved, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And Grayson, who, if he was honest with himself, still felt like an outsider sometimes when he was reminded of how much Sven and Lars were in tune with each other.
“In my head, I know that you would never do that,” Lars said, his voice a hoarse whisper.
“But in moments like yesterday, when your emotions take over, it’s hard to remind yourself of that.” Grayson understood.
“I wish I could feel differently. I was so angry—”
“Don’t be,” Grayson interrupted him. “Don’t blame yourself for this. Give it time, sweetheart. I promise you, it will diminish over time.”
Again, it took a long time before Lars reacted. “Are you sure you have the patience to wait for that? What if something like this happens again and I freak out again?”
“Then I can only hope I'll have had time to learn from my mistakes as well and react with more understanding. The kind of understanding I should’ve given you yesterday instead of getting angry. This was on me, not on you. There’s room for you to grow.”
“Does that mean we’re okay now?” Lars asked, and there was a meaning behind that question Grayson couldn’t decipher.
“Yes, sweetheart, we are more than okay as far as I’m concerned, unless there’s something else you think we should talk about.”
A choked sob flew from his boy’s lips. “Then why are you not calling me your boy? What do I need to do to make it really okay, to make you love me again?”
Grayson had never acted so fast as when he yanked Lars to drag him onto his lap, the air leaving the boy’s lungs with a whoosh.
“You’ll always be my boy, baby, even when I’m angry and upset with you. Nothing you could ever do could make me stop loving you. Do you hear me?”
Lars clung to him, sobbing, and it was so unusual for him to break down like that that Grayson felt every tear in his heart.
“You didn’t even spank me this morning, Daddy, and I needed you. I needed to feel that you still loved me.”
And Grayson understood that by keeping his distance, he had fueled the boy’s insecurities rather than helping him. He could explain it to Lars, and he was sure he could make him understand, but the bottom line was that Lars needed more than words right now. He needed his Daddy. Without a second’s hesitation, he flipped him over and pushed him down on his lap, dragging his pants and underwear down with a rough move.
His hand came down hard, the slap mingling with Lars’s cry, “Daddy!”
He spanked him hard and long, until the beta was a blubbering mess on his lap, his ass all red and angry, his mouth making sounds Grayson had never heard from him before. When he was done, he carried him inside, not caring that everyone saw, and caring even less that Lars’s pants remained outside, his red ass on full display. They could look away if they didn’t want to see it. Right now, his boys needed him.
He deposited Lars in a hot bath, then interrupted an omega-meeting in Vieno’s bedroom, where Vieno and Sven were hanging out with the new kid. He kindly requested Sven’s presence, and his sweet pup didn’t hesitate a second before joining him. Grayson fucked him hard and fast over the bathroom sink, while Lars watched from the tub with hungry eyes, then sent him back with a butt plug and a cock ring, so he could do it all over again later that day.
They needed each other, he understood now, so he had to set the tone and show they were okay. For Sven, that meant being used, as the boy had developed a deep affinity for being used as a little cum hole. As if to prove it, Sven beamed as Grayson sent him off, despite being denied an orgasm, his lips still swollen from Grayson’s demanding kisses and his ass smarting from their rough fuck and the rather sizable butt plug inside him.
But Lars? Lars needed something else. Lars needed his time, his care, his love. And so he tenderly dried him off, then rimmed his boy until he saw stars, gave him the blow job of his life, and fucked him for a long time, all the while forbidding him to come. By the time he finally gave permission, Lars was beyond talking, a pleading, shaking mess who exploded in an orgasm that left him trembling for a long time, after which the boy fell asleep in Grayson’s arms.
It was, Grayson felt, worthy make-up sex and a well-spent morning.
13
Kean mentally braced himself before he walked into the living room, where he had agreed to meet with his brother. Or rather, his brother had agreed to meet with him, because after that morning’s breakfast in the kitchen, Kean knew he had to take the next step. He wasn’t sure if it would go anywhere. But before he could even try, he had to follow the rules.
Palani was already waiting for him, tapping away on the keyboard of his laptop, which perched on his lap as he sat cross-legged on the couch. He looked up when Kean walked in. “Hey bro, what’s up?”
It took one look at Kean’s face to put his laptop away and lean forward. “Okay, I can see something is going on. Talk to me.”
It was funny, the dynamic they had. Kean was older than him by a year, and yet it felt like Palani was his older brother. He was an old soul, somehow, mature and wise beyond his years. He always had been. Kean wasn’t exactly a party animal either, but Palani was in a whole other category.
Kean lowered himself on a chair across from his brother. He decided to skip the pleasantries and go straight for what he wanted. “I would like your permission to approach Ruari and see if he would be interested in more between us,” he said.
Palani looked at him thoughtfully. “Enar told me he thought you two had a connection. It’s pretty fast.”
“I’m not saying I want to marry him,” Kean said defensively. “I’m asking for permission to approach him and see if he’s even open to the idea, so we can see if there’s something between us.”
“Kean, I understand. I hate to bring him up, but what about Bray?”
And that, right there, was the conversation Kean had hoped not to have with his brother. He had never told him about him and Bray hooking up. There had been no need as neither of them was an omega. But of course, Palani had found out anyway. There was little that escaped his attention. And it wasn’t that Kean was uncomfortable with his brother knowing who he slept with or hooked up with. It was more that he might be forced to explain something he couldn’t even explain himself, like his weird attraction to Bray.
“You know, huh?” he sighed.
“Would you like to talk about it?”
Kean considered it. Out of everyone on the ranch, Palani might understand this better than anyone, considering his complicated relationship with Vieno, Lidon, and Enar before the four of them had figured out what they were to each other. Plus, Palani was a good listener and might shed some light. Then, of course, there was the whole fated mates thing that Kean was still conflicted about, especially after what Bray had said, and he knew for a fact Palani would have opinions on that.
“Do you believe in fated mates?” he asked.
Palani looked at him quizzically, but replied, “Yes, absolutely. I never knew something could hurt as much as being separated from V
ieno after he married Lidon. That wasn’t mere heartbreak, you know? That was real pain, and he was feeling the same thing. He was withering without me, and if nothing else, that convinced me of the truth. The four of us, there’s no other way to explain how we function than that of us being fated mates.”
This was another thing Kean appreciated about his brother. Palani didn’t immediately fill a silence with more words, but gave you time to think. And Kean did a lot of thinking as he pondered Palani’s statement. “Bray doesn’t believe in fated mates,” he finally offered.
“But you do,” Palani said as a statement, not a question.
“I do, but I’m not sure how it works. Like, can one person feel he is meant for someone else, but that other person not feel it at all? Is that even possible?”
Palani sent him a sad smile. “I assume we’re still talking about Bray?”
It would be the first time Kean admitted his feelings to anyone else, maybe even including himself. But he was tired of lying to himself, and even more tired of pretending.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “Remember that first time Rhene and I visited here? When I saw Bray, it felt like being shocked with a taser. I was certain it had to mean something, and I’ll be honest that it was one of the reasons why I decided to move here. But I don’t think he felt that, back then, and whatever he feels for me right now is not on the same level. So I don’t know what to do with that, and with Ruari entering the picture, I’m even more confused.”
“Hmm,” Palani said. “And do you have any idea how Ruari feels about you? Do you think he’s open to you pursuing him?”
Kean shrugged, letting out a soft sigh. “He likes me, of that I’m sure. Other than that, I couldn’t tell you. That whole thing with Bray has me super confused and doubting my ability to interpret situations correctly.”
“Did Bray ever tell you he wanted more when you guys started seeing each other?”
Kean grimaced. “Hell no, he made it crystal clear that this was super casual. Hooking up, that’s it. Scratching a sexual itch, caused by the shifting.”