by Nora Phoenix
“You had hoped he’d develop more feelings for you,” Palani understood.
Kean shrugged again, unsure of what else to say. “I hoped, but I guess I was wrong.”
“So does that make Ruari second choice? Because that’s a hell of a wrong way to start a relationship, if I may be so frank.”
Kean’s first reaction was to get angry for even suggesting it, but then he realized Palani was right. Or rather, he wasn’t wrong. The attraction with Ruari was there, for sure, but could he really forget about Bray? He would have to if he wanted a shot with Ruari. He couldn’t start dating him, not even approach him, until he had broken things off with Bray. That thought saddened him, but he had no choice. If Bray didn’t want him, and all the signals pointed to that conclusion, then Kean had to walk away before his heart got even more involved.
“No, he’s not second choice. But I’ll admit it may take me a while to let go of the idea of me and Bray together. But I promise you, I will break things off with him. I have no intention of deceiving Ruari, and even if it turns out he’s not interested in me that way, I still need to end things with Bray. I’m too good to continue this. If he doesn’t want me, then I need to draw my conclusions and walk away.”
Palani’s eyes were filled with sympathy as he nodded. “I was hoping you would come to that conclusion. I like Bray, I really do, but there’s no denying the man has issues. All we can do is hope he’ll work through them, but it may be too late for you and him by then.”
A strange image filled Kean’s mind, a picture of Bray, him, and Ruari together. An alpha, a beta, and an omega. It had the potential to be the perfect combination, but he realized the futility of even considering it. Bray wanted an omega, not a beta. Even if, and that was the biggest “if” ever considering those two hadn’t even met, but even if Bray and Ruari connected by some miracle, Kean would always be the third wheel in that relationship. Bray would never accept him as a suitable mate, not when his heart was set on…how had he put it? At sweet, pliant omega.
Kean scoffed. Those were three things he would and could never be. So no, he had to forget about Bray and focus on Ruari instead, hoping that the connection he’d felt with him was enough to convince the omega to give them a shot.
But first, he had bad news to deliver to a certain alpha. That should be fun.
Bray was surprised when Kean approached him while he was inspecting the new guardhouse near the main entrance. Jawon and his men had done a good job building it to Bray’s specifications, and he made a mental note to tell him so. He had just finished writing down the few improvements he wanted to suggest when Kean walked in.
“Hey,” the beta said, and something in his tone put Bray on edge. He wasn’t sure why Kean was here, but he was certain he wasn’t gonna like it.
“What brings you here?” he asked, skipping the niceties.
Kean dragged his hand through his hair, and that’s when Bray knew his suspicions were correct. This couldn’t be good.
“Can we talk?”
Bray sighed, that simple line giving him a good indication of where this conversation was headed. “Sure. I’m assuming you have something to tell me?”
For the first time since he walked in, Kean met his eyes head on. “Yes, I do. I wanted to tell you that I can’t see you anymore.”
Bray pushed down the flash of anger that rose at those words. “I didn’t realize we were serious enough to warrant an official break up,” he said.
Kean’s eyes sparked. “That’s exactly the problem,” he said.
Bray frowned. What was Kean referring to? “I’m not following.”
Kean rolled his eyes. “No, you’re not, and that’s the whole problem. Look, we agreed to keep things casual, and that may be working out for you quite well, but I have come to the conclusion that this is not providing me with what I need or want in the long term. It’s—”
“Who said anything about long term?” Bray said, his frown intensifying.
“You’re interrupting me. Again,” Kean said quietly.
Oh my God, was he going on that tour again? Bray held up his hands. “I’m sorry, okay? Let’s not do the whole ‘you interrupted me’ drama again.”
“And that, right there, is the second reason I’m ending this,” Kean said, his voice louder than before. Bray opened his mouth to say something, but Kean lifted a finger and Bray shut it again. “No, you do not speak while I’m talking. You can at least have the decency to let me speak without interrupting when I’m ending things with you, you hear me?”
Bray could barely repress the urge to roll his eyes. Kean could be so super sensitive about things like this. Everybody interrupted others when they were in a conversation. It was the normal dynamic of any conversation. It had nothing to do with being rude or whatever, you just had to talk a little louder if you wanted to be heard. Once people realized you were serious with what you were saying, they would let you finish without interrupting. But apparently, this was something Kean had never learned, so Bray decided he could be magnanimous and let him talk. Maybe when Kean got all the drama off his chest, Bray could talk some sense into him.
“You said you wanted something casual, and I went along with that. The truth is that I am looking for a long-term relationship, but not with you,” Kean said.
Bray frowned. Not that he was interested in anything serious, but what was wrong with him that Kean didn’t see him as a suitable long-term partner? He could do worse than an alpha like Bray.
“You’ve made your wishes for a future partner crystal clear,” Kean continued. “And we both know that nothing on your list applies to me. I’m not an omega, I’m not sweet and submissive, and I sure as hell won’t take care of you or wipe your ass the rest of your life, as you seem to demand from your future mate. You’ve been honest about that, and while I think it’s ridiculous and you’re wrong, I can’t fault you for your honesty. But it does mean that this is where our ways part.”
For reasons Bray couldn’t explain, his frustration with this conversation was growing. Why did Kean make it sound like his vision for a future mate was ridiculous? Hell, his own father had done the same, stating that if Bray ever found someone like that, he would be bored out of his mind. Why did other people think they knew better than himself who suited him? And come to that, who the hell was Kean that he thought he could tell Bray anything anyway?
“Okay, so you’ve come to the same conclusion I have, that we’re not a good match in the long term. What the hell does that have to do with us hooking up? Why can’t we continue to have fun until you meet someone else?”
One look at Kean’s face, and Bray’s stomach dropped, taking his self-confidence with it. Kean had already met someone else, that truth was painted on his face.
“You already have, haven’t you?” Bray asked, a lot more subdued now.
Kean slowly nodded. “Yes, there’s a new omega who arrived yesterday and who may be staying for a while. His name is Ruari. I already met him a few weeks ago in the clinic, and we connected. He has a baby, a three-month-old, and it has made me realize that is what I want. I don’t want to hook up and be casual, Bray. I want a mate, a family.”
Bray inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the strange way his heart behaved. “Well, if that’s what you want… I mean, you’re pretty damn young to settle down, but whatever.”
Kean raised his head, his chin tilting up in that stubborn way that alerted more trouble was coming. “There’s one more thing I want to say,” Kean said. “I’m not sure I could’ve continued with you even if I hadn’t met Ruari.”
“Why? I thought we were good together in bed. You certainly seem to appreciate the way I fuck you,” Bray said.
“I do, but I want more than just a good fuck, even for a casual relationship. I want someone who sees me as his equal, and the truth is that you don’t. Not in bed, not in conversations, not in any social situation. You are the alpha, and you always let me feel that. And I’ve decided that I’m worth more than that. I’
m looking at my brother, and I can see what I could achieve in a relationship where I am taken seriously, where I am an equal partner. And I want that for myself. I deserve that. And I can’t bring myself to settle any longer for someone who only sees me as a good fuck.”
Kean looked him right in the eyes, until Bray averted his own. There was something in the beta’s eyes that pierced straight through his armor, that came dangerously close to wounding him. It was bullshit, of course, what he was saying, the ramblings of an oversensitive beta who probably secretly yearned to be an alpha. And yet, as Kean’s words sank in, Bray felt a shiver inch down his spine.
It couldn’t be true, right? People respected him, they respected his position. That wouldn’t be the case if he treated them the way Kean just described. There needed to be some kind of hierarchy, even in a pack. Hell, especially in a pack. Wasn’t that why there was a pack alpha, whose command everyone was supposed to follow?
But there was also a second-in-command, he thought with a confusing clarity. A second-in-command who was a beta, and who was still in charge, even of Bray and the other alphas. He’d been uneasy with that decision from the start, even though he could acknowledge no alpha would’ve done a better job than Palani. That didn’t mean he wasn’t a tad uncomfortable with a beta being placed in a position over him.
But that was different. That was pack business, not a relationship or as Kean had put it, social situations. The fact that Bray might be a tad old-fashioned in some aspects didn’t mean you couldn’t treat people equally. He did. It was just that some people, and all evidence pointed toward Kean being one of them, were overly sensitive about this.
“Look, I don’t know where you got the impression I only think of you as a good fuck, because I genuinely like you. But you’re a tad oversensitive here. You’re seeing things that are not true, though I am sorry you experienced it that way. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, so if you think that everything’s been handed to me just because I’m an alpha, you’re wrong. I struggled when I started this business, because older alphas wouldn’t give me a fair chance. But I learned to adapt and become the kind of alpha and business owner people take seriously. So I understand what it’s like to be overlooked, but you have to position yourself better, to be more dominant and present, and then people will respond to you in a different way.”
Kean stared at him for what had to be close to ten seconds before he slowly shook his head. “That has to be the biggest load of alpha-privileged crap I have ever heard in my life. You haven’t listened to a word I said, Bray. But I am done explaining this to you. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m hoping to have a shot with Ruari. I’ve already asked Palani for permission to pursue him, and he’s granted me that.”
A wave of anger rolled through Bray at that dismissal. “Well, of course, you’ve gotten permission. He is your brother after all,” he snapped.
Kean’s eyes narrowed. “If you think that’s why he gave permission, you don’t know Palani at all. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t owe any explanation to you, and neither does he.”
He turned to walk away, and for some reason, that enraged Bray even more. To be dumped was one thing, especially when it was a casual relationship in the first place, but to be dismissed like that, like his voice and opinion didn’t matter at all, that would not stand.
“You’d better hope that omega is satisfied with just one child, because you’ll never be able to give him more.”
He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, a cheap and low shot that he should’ve never made.
Kean turned around, and the look of devastation on his face hit Bray deep. If there had been any chance of them ever hooking up again, he had just ruined it.
“Not everyone prioritizes the way you do, Bray,” Kean said, and much to Bray’s surprise, his voice sounded sad rather than angry. “Love really does conquer all. But I guess you don’t believe in that either. I feel sorry for you, Bray, because with that attitude, I doubt you’ll ever find that kind of love in the first place.”
Bray watched as Kean walked away without looking back again. He had deserved that last parting shot, he admitted to himself. He’d gone for a kill shot, and he’d hit his target, but it had been a low blow. He was better than that, even if the thought had crossed his mind that the omega might be better off with an alpha if he ever wanted more children. Then again, if he had a child now, someone must have sired it, so maybe he could ask that same alpha to be a sperm donor.
As he leaned against the wall, contemplating that whole conversation with Kean, a heaviness settled in his heart. He wasn’t sure why, but this break up felt like a massive failure, much more than its casual status should've warranted. Why was that? Why were Kean’s words still playing in his head, like some kind of bad but catchy ear worm?
It was a long time before he stepped outside, and when he did, his mood hadn’t improved.
14
This was the weirdest day ever, Ruari decided. Ever since he found out he was pregnant, his life had been filled to the brim with stress. First, there had been pure panic when he’d tested positive, knowing what his father's reaction would be like. Then he’d gone through a few weeks of coming up with every imaginable plan to keep himself safe. After that, once he’d made his escape, he’d worried about making sure the baby was okay, about eating enough, getting his vitamins in. Then there had been the delivery, which thankfully, had gone easy. But man, once Jax had been born, a whole new level of stress had arrived. No, it was safe to say that he’d never had as much stress in his life as the last nine months.
But today, today was about as relaxed as he’d ever been. Jax was sleeping in the cutest little crib, right next to another gorgeous baby. Ruari had been introduced to Vieno, who turned out to be a lovely person who had apologized profusely for not being there that morning. He explained he was struggling with depression after giving birth and often felt the most blue and down early in the morning. Ruari understood now why Sven took care of baby Hakon so much, and he was grateful that Vieno had someone to help him.
They had hung out the entire morning, Sven disappearing for a while when Grayson came to get him, which promptly resulted in the undeniable sounds of sex drifting in. Vieno shrugged, not even looking embarrassed.
“I think they had a fight yesterday, those three,” he said. “They were all tense this morning, and Sven didn’t get his morning fuck, so I’m glad to see them make up.”
Ruari wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he asked anyway. “Morning fuck? You’re saying it like it’s a routine.”
“Oh, it is, trust me. They have one every day, about mid-morning. That’s when Grayson comes up for air after writing for a bit and needs to blow off steam, and trust me, Sven is more than happy to accommodate him. It usually doesn’t last long.”
“Huh,” Ruari said, strangely fascinated.
“Those three thrive on things like that. They start every day with bathroom sex for Grayson and Sven, usually Sven blowing him, and then after, Lars gets his spanking. They eat breakfast in the main kitchen, but they always lunch together in their room, which often results in more sex. Then when Lars is done with work, he and Grayson will take a shower, followed by either more sex or a spanking if Lars has misbehaved.”
Ruari couldn’t help but snicker at the casual way in which Vieno delivered this news. He brought it like facts, describing the rituals as if they were completely innocent. And they were, Ruari thought. Others tended to blow daddy kink like this completely out of proportion, but while it wasn’t his particular type of kink, he had no issues with it.
“Never a dull moment here, I see,” he commented.
Vieno grinned. “You’d better get used to it if you want to stay here,” he said. “We’re pretty open about our sexual activities, but I’m sure you’ve discovered this by now. Someone must have told you.”
“Yeah, Kean was clear in his warnings to stay out of the main house at certain times,” Ruari laughed.
Vieno’s laugh sobered. “Yeah, he’s right. He was, anyway.”
Ruari guessed it had something to do with Vieno’s depression, but since he barely knew the man, he was hesitant to ask. He was saved when Sven returned, his usually pale cheeks blushed, and judging by the slight hesitation as he sat down, his ass had been well used. Good for him. It was easy to see how much Grayson loved him.
Sven made them lunch, joining them. It appeared Grayson and Lars were taking a nap together. No wonder, after the rather loud noises they’d overheard from those two. Make-up sex, Vieno had mouthed to Ruari, and they had giggled. Ruari loved getting to know these two omegas better, and it turned out they had more than enough to talk about.
“Vieno always takes a nap in the afternoon, while I watch Hakon,” Sven said when he’d cleared the remnants of their lunch. “If you would like some time to yourself, I’m happy to watch Jax as well. I’ll be staying right here where I can hear them, and if you want to, you can leave his bottle and everything with me so I can feed him. I’m not sure if you feed on demand or have a schedule?”
Ruari could have kissed him. It was one of the first times anyone had ever offered to help him, aside from Kean, and where he had his reservations earlier that morning, by now he trusted Sven to take care of Jax.
“He’s on a four-hour schedule, and since I just fed him, he should be good for a while. He usually sleeps for at least two, three hours in the afternoon. If you could watch him for me, that would be amazing. I can’t remember the last time I had some time to myself.”
Sven’s smile split open his entire face, and it was easy to see the omega was pleased to do something for Ruari. “You’re so welcome. I'm happy I get to help you out. I love babies, I’ve discovered since Hakon was born.”
There was something more in his eyes, something that told Ruari the man wanted one of his own, but he didn’t say anything. They had time to get to the more personal conversations.