Dax pressed his lips down into two deep frown lines as if trying to hold onto his words physically. He closed his eyes, took an even, slow breath, then opened them.
“Anyone who's made you feel like that is not worthy of you—you’re worth ten of them. You care about the people around you. And you do the right thing no matter the cost. You didn’t have to stay on the Lazarus to help. You did that. And over and over again, you laid it on the line for me. If your parents are too foolish to understand what a treasure you are, they don't deserve you.”
I must've looked as if a meteor had just struck me. My mouth hung open.
He turned me to look at him and him alone. “I mean that.”
I closed my eyes and let his words penetrate the titanium cage around my heart and spread like warm liquid gold. I swallowed hard and looked up at him.
“Dax.” I didn't know how to respond. There were no books about how to tell somebody that what they said felt like healing to your soul.
“Amelie.” It was my mother. I could always tell her mood by her tone. This timbre said, step away from the boy before you embarrass me.
I pulled out of Dax’s grip, straightened, and looked her in the eye. “Hello, Mother. Thank you so much for the lovely party.”
“Of course, Amelie, and I'm so sorry I have forgotten your name...Dexter?”
A definite slight against my choice of escort. I almost flinched. Before I could correct her, he did.
“It’s Dax. Daxson Smith, I mean.”
“It's so nice to see you again, Cadet Smith.” The way her nose slightly wrinkled told me that she was anything but pleased to meet him, but polite society wouldn’t allow her to say more.
And that was one of the few benefits of polite society, in my opinion. In general, it was an archaic system, almost medieval. I espoused a more casual and upfront point-of-view. In the Sat, how you were born, how you looked, and how many credits you had were the only litmus of worth.
“You should say hello to your sister.”
I felt a bit queasy at that.
Courtney was difficult to most, horrendous to me, but never showed her worst venom in public, so perhaps I was safe.
I smiled and inclined my head, curtsying on autopilot. My mother wheeled away to talk to a group of uniformed Mil-station officers. The actual Admiral of the entire fleet was here with two of her uniformed escorts. I noticed some other high-ranking officials from the different satellites as well. She navigated among them, touching arms and gifting them with her perfect smile.
Buying connections for Courtney. And for me.
I should feel more appreciative. This party was the first time she'd acknowledged me positively in public, but somehow, even with all the ambient lights, live music, and tiny floating servers with trays overflowing with hors d'oeuvres, it felt...hollow. The only good part about the evening so far had been Dax.
“I guess I should say hello to my sister. She can be terrible, so just ignore her. She’s five.”
“But she's like a super genius?”
“She’s still five and spoiled.”
Both of Dax’s eyebrows lifted, but he nodded slowly and linked arms with me again. We approached my sister. She chatted with a group of girls a little older than her, dressed almost the same in varying degrees of sparkle, ribbon, and lace.
“Hello, Courtney.” I made the first attack. Hopefully, I would get the high ground.
“Hello, Washout. So good of you to come to my celebration.”
I supposed the high ground was overrated.
She'd struck quick and hard and deep. Washout was her favorite nickname for me. Every time I spoke to her, I felt the old case of nerves coming back. Her tongue was lightning fast, and she analyzed people and things before I could even process what was happening. She made me feel like a stumbling idiot, and she gloried in it.
“Gato got your tongue? You have heard I got the highest entrance exam score for the Science Academy ever recorded?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but she started speaking again.
“It seems you’re wearing Madam Sosa’s second-best gown as the silk is synthetic. Too bad. Firstborn is worst born is what they always say.”
“Do they?” I stammered. I hadn’t noticed the silk. It was apparent now that I examined it. The weave wasn’t completely smooth. I wondered if the other guests had noted it.
“The others noticed. I heard them talking. And this escort you dug up—Hub born. He’s worked hard manual labor his entire life judging from the wear on his hands. He didn’t test out young, so he’s of average intelligence at best but a decent musculature. You’ll tire of him quickly because of the difference in class.”
Dax tensed, and I squeezed his hand. The gleam on her face made me want to punch her. Five-year-old or not. There was a thirty-year-old sarcastic harpy inside that little body. But I reminded myself again that she was young. I had to make allowances, and my life did not include her anymore. This interaction was just an irritation, something to get through so I could enjoy the rest of the party.
“You’re making a few assumptions, Court. But thanks for caring.”
Her simpering smile vanished and changed into a sneer. “Don’t worry. I don’t care.”
I needed to end this before it got even more toxic.
“Congratulations on your scores and getting into the Science Academy.”
Courtney blinked rapidly and pursed her lips as if she were about to cry.
Dax remained silent, but his grip on me gave me a solid anchor.
“You’re no fun anymore. You used to get all bent out of shape. It was fun to watch. I'm going to go study now.”
She strolled back to her rooms. She didn’t have a choice. That level of achievement required non-stop studying and commitment.
What mattered on the EDU-sat was production, achievement, how you looked, and what you acquired.
Not how you felt. Not who you were.
Why had I thought this was going to be fun?
I saw a group of friends from when I lived here almost a year ago. We had interacted at different events. I wanted to discuss what had been happening since I'd left. And I pulled in their direction, but Dax resisted. I looked up at him.
“Hey, Amelie, I need to check out the sanitation station. People do use sanitation stations on the EDU-sat, right?”
“They do.” I laughed and shook my head. “Go through those columns into the hallway. It’s three doors down on your left.
“See you in a bit.”
I could tell he wanted to kiss me goodbye. I wanted him to kiss me. But that would be flying in the face of too many of my parents’ rules. As much of a rebel as I was, I would not disrespect them.
“Hurry back.”
We separated, and Dax disappeared into the hallway. I raced over to my old friends.
I caught one final glimpse of my sister with her head tilting down.
Courtney was alone, living the life I’d thought I’d wanted.
I wasn’t alone now and had a broader set of priorities. It felt different. Better.
I hoped that someday she would be free as well. I approached the group of girls with a real smile and grabbed a cherry ambrosia from one of the passing server bots. There were a few good things about the Sat, and I was going to enjoy them.
Chapter Seventy-Six
Dax
The pristine white hallway was plain except for the chandelier that dripped in tendrils of crystals. The light danced like a nebula on the walls.
I’d never seen a place like this in the Axis. So many things had no purpose other than to look pretty. The width and height made me feel exposed and strangely small.
I arrived at the entrance of the sani-station. I hadn't needed to use it, but I needed a minute away from the introductions, perfume, hair, and Amelie’s little sister.
It was overwhelming. Worse than the training room. I'd almost rather pick a fight with a Hub gang than deal with these beautiful, terrible people.
What they said sounded nice, but there was always an underlying current or a double meaning.
I was plain talking and straightforward. This place made my skin crawl. I'd been very excited to come with Amelie to meet her family and see her home. I could see now why she didn't want to stay.
Opulent as it was, it wasn't comfortable. I hovered outside the sanitation station, worried about going in and perhaps not even knowing how to use the posh equipment. It was different at every ship and every station.
“Cadet Smith, a moment?”
I shouldn’t have paused. I should have gone in. Because at the end of the hall, like a giant feathered creature from some distant settlement, stood Amelie's mother.
On this satellite, they didn't follow the same fashion they did on the Axis. It was all plumage and spectacle.
Not that I was a great follower of fashion, but it was shocking to see such a difference in culture so close to the main stations.
She approached, hands outstretched. Her expression almost seemed friendly.
I smiled slightly, still wanting to make a good impression.
Whether I liked her parents or not, Amelie still seemed to value their opinion, and they supported her very well.
“If you’re going to the sani-station, don't let me interrupt you.
I realized my hand hovered near the entry pad, and I dropped it, rubbing the skin of my palm against my thigh. Then I remembered that I probably shouldn't. I hoped there were no stains on my white pants.
Why did I care about my pants? I'd rather fix an engine than have to worry about such crazy things.
Amelie’s mother stood in front of me now. We were almost the same height, but with her headdress and feathered cape, she seemed twice as big as me. I stared dumbfounded and then realized I should respond to what she had said.
“I was. Maybe later. It's nice to see you again, Duchess Dupre—I mean Empress Dupree.” I couldn’t remember her proper title, and my face grew warm.
I tried to get to the safe place in my head—the place where nothing could bother me. I’d survived my parents. Anyone who could live through that hell and help their sisters had some worth. I waited with my chest out and my hands at my side.
“It's Lady Dupree. We need to have a chat.” She paused for a minute as if waiting for me to agree.
I didn't want to talk to her, but for Amelie, I would do almost anything. I began to nod, but before I could, she started.
“This friendship is impossible.” She made the word friendship sound like a disease. “You see where she comes from.” The woman made a broad sweep of her hand to the light fixtures, to herself, and the crazy spacious hallway.
“She will do her duty in the military, move up in the science field, and perhaps one day she will find her spot here again, but regardless, she's our daughter. She will find an equal match, perhaps an admiral. She has the looks to attract at least a captain.”
“Amelie seems fully capable of making her own decisions about her friends. If she wants to spend time with me, then I'm all right with that.” My nature was not to be disrespectful but to try to make friends, to make peace, and to go with the flow. This woman tested my patience.
And for them not to appreciate Amelie rankled me. This woman had pressed her daughter into service—not much better than what my parents were doing. They both used their children as tools for personal gain.
“She is seventeen years old. I control her funds. How long do you think she'd survive without her allowance? Her guzzle bits budget alone would break your salary. And her clothing allowance? You're not capable of taking care of my daughter.”
“Amelie doesn’t need me to take care of her.”
She snorted and started again. “It is best that you know upfront before something bad happens. I have friends at the Academy. In fact, the Rear Admiral is here tonight. I could have a conversation with her concerning a placement for you. Think about it, Cadet Smith.”
I'd been stabbed before, and this felt eerily similar. It was like a portion of my life force flowed out of me, and I couldn't stop it. If I kept seeing Amelie, her mother would destroy me. Not that there was much to destroy.
And she was right. I couldn’t support Amelie.
She did love junk food and fashion.
Would she live on a military base for the rest of her life?
Amelie could do anything, be with anyone. Why would she want someone like me? I didn't say anything else. I shrunk back and looked away.
The woman who called herself Amelie's mother, the person who should care about her most, nodded as if she had done her job. She sauntered back into the main chamber, leaving me still standing by the sani-station door, my path forward suddenly unclear again.
Chapter Seventy-Seven
Vega
The drugs slammed through my brain like a bullet transport on a cross-Axis track. I had just enough time between waves to swallow down my nausea before another thunderbolt of agony went through me.
The doctor dosed me time and again, asking the same questions. I gave the same answers again and again. Long stretches of darkness and unconsciousness merged with blazing lights.
My body stank.
Time became meaningless.
I'd felt pain before, but this blackened my vision and left me shaking. I had no idea how long I was out, but I woke up to my body quivering. Cold enveloped me. My head bowed.
Voices echoed.
“I’ve tried everything. Mind probe. Psychotropics. The serums. I mean, I have a few techniques I've not used, but if we leave evidence, it would be problematic. The damage to her would be—you know what could happen.” That was the so-called doctor speaking.
He needed to die a horrible death by a thousand knives.
“I have a plan of what to do with her, and it'll fit in nicely with our strategy. You have a specimen ready?”
Someone clapped their hands together. “Wonderful idea. Not only will the public have more evidence, but they’ll also have a martyr. The Board won't remove our funding with a direct attack on the base. Brilliant, Gleason. I could kiss you.”
“Please don't. I'm just doing what's right for the Mil-station, what’s right for our family. Sacrifices must be made.”
“Bonded forever,” the professor said in an almost reverent tone.
“Bonded forever.” The thud of a fist against a chest echoed. Gleason was involved.
I still had my eyes squeezed shut as if that would stop the next onslaught. What had that crazy doctor put into me? If I didn’t escape soon, I’d die.
They wouldn’t want me alive. No matter how much they promised, they wouldn’t let me go. They had a plan for my disposal.
Goody. I got to deal with more psychotic officers who wanted me dead, but this time I was doing it alone.
No one knew where I was or what was happening.
Amelie and Dax might miss me. But maybe not. She had that party coming. Days floated together, and I didn't know how long I'd been unconscious.
I was buried in the base somewhere. Even if Dax and Amelie could find me, this was a high-security military operation. Getting in would be nearly impossible.
If I wanted to live, I had to think, outwit, and figure a way to escape myself.
Staying quiet had kept me alive so far. If they thought I’d told them everything, they’d go ahead and get rid of me.
What the hell did they want with my brother? I couldn’t help them if I’d wanted to. The only thing I hadn’t told them was that I’d seen him on Clementine with the outlaws, but I wouldn't give them that even if they filleted my skin and pulled out my fingernails.
Family was family.
The sound of sizzling followed by another painful grunt and pacing rocked me back to the moment. I was positive something was alive in the back, and it sounded big, mean, and hungry.
Gleason and the doctor left.
Time to move, regardless of how I damaged my hands and feet.
They had designed the bond
s with my strength in mind but not with my determination. I rocked the chair against its moorings, back and forth, harder and harder. I kept at it, like water against a rock. Eventually, it would wear down.
The movement ripped new pain through me.
The med facility had great replacement hands. Perhaps they could grow me new ones. The idea of actually losing my hands made my stomach turn. I swallowed down the bile.
I couldn't think about the future, only right here and now. My only thought had to be about escaping, and I would do whatever it took. I gritted my teeth and pushed hard.
One chair leg released. I panted and smiled. Only three more to go, and I still had my hands attached.
The door slid open. I hadn’t noticed the change in the air this time.
I lurched up using the last bit of force in me to free the chair.
But the doctor was laser fast. He pressed a button on the wall, and suddenly my whole body grew heavy, just as it had the first day during the test.
Damn it! I doubled over my legs as far as my restraints would allow.
The sadist chuckled.
“You’re a bastard. Takes a brave man to face a teenaged girl shackled and drugged.” I felt no need to show respect to him. I was done playing by his rules. I just didn’t care anymore.
Doctor Sinclair snorted, snagged a hypodermic from his station, and jammed it into me. A sting pierced my skin and a hot mix of chemicals dumped into my blood.
“You...son of a moonya,” I said. “I already told you everything I know.”
“Well, this last mix will let us know for sure. It's laced with poison. If you don't tell me exactly what I want to know, you won’t get the antidote.”
Poison?
“Even if I knew something. Even if I told you, you would still let me die. I know too much. Since you’re going to kill me anyway, tell me, why do you need to know about my brother? He went AWOL and never contacted us again. What has he done that makes you want to find him so badly?”
“You really don't know?” His brow furrowed, and his eyebrows dipped then rose. “Your brother joined the Phantom Ops. Then he took something crucial for the future of the Mil-station. Now, if you know something, tell me. If you don't, it could mean disaster for the military station, the Axis, and perhaps even your own homeworld.”
Cadet: Star Defenders Book Two: Space Opera Adventure Page 36