An evil oil slick of realization and pain spread, changing everything attached.
The past made so much more sense—why Kal hadn't contacted us and why he'd been disguised, maybe even why he joined the pirates. He had stolen something from the military.
Could what the doctor was saying be true? Was my brother a traitor? I instantly drew back from the notion. Why would he leave the only job he ever wanted? Something didn’t add up.
“I can see your confusion. You were not aware of any of this. Interesting.” He leaned down to meet my eyes, an almost concerned look on his face. “Do you want to die for your brother? Didn’t he leave you and your family to survive on that backwater planet? Does someone like him deserve loyalty?”
My mind went both slow and fast. My world splintered, past and present merging.
Who did I trust?
This guy had tortured me to get information while my brother had protected me even though it had exposed him. The Kal I’d known back before he had left for the Academy had been self-sacrificing, smart, and funny.
If he stole something, he had a reason.
“Of course, I want to save myself. I love the Axis and my family. You just can't draw juice out of an empty star melon. I don't care what it costs me. I'm going to hurt you in ways you’ve never even imagined.”
I worked up a good amount of spit in my mouth and raised my head enough to spew it at him. It splattered on his magnifiers.
The doctor thrust himself out of range. He gritted his teeth and moved to the sanitation area to clean his lenses.
“If you’re going to kill me. Kill me,” I said and meant it. I was so tired, and my head ached. I just wanted to rest.
“That’s a lot of bravado from a first-year cadet whose only claim to notoriety is being strong. The only good thing you could have done for the Mil-Station was to tell us where your traitor brother went.”
He squinted and leaned down to the side, then back again. He squatted and picked something up from the floor.
It looked like an eyeball.
His expression shifted from twisted glee to bared teeth. His hands squeezed the object until his knuckles turned white.
He marched out of the room double-time, leaving me alone again with whatever he had injected me with running through my body.
Fun times.
I didn't know where my brother was. I couldn’t save my parents.
I was worthless.
And now I was gonna die. I rested my torso against my knees and let my head fall. All my energy drained out like blood.
Weak. I was so weak. I tried to straighten but couldn't.
My dad used to say, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. He said it was an OE saying. I thought of my dad and my mom and started working on the bonds again.
But it all felt pointless. With so much against me, maybe this time, I was finally out of luck.
Chapter Seventy-Eight
Amelie
The Monroes of the MAN-sat stood side-by-side.
We had attended all the same parties, dancing all the same dances with all the same boys. A few others grouped around chatting. These were the people I’d called friends.
As soon as I joined their group, I regretted it. Their conversation had not changed in almost a year. It was still who was wearing what dress, whose hair had the best color, and who had snagged a suitable partner.
One of the Monroe girls, Claudette, leaned in, and put a hand on my forearm.
“Your new escort is quite attractive. Is he an officer?”
“Or is he related to the one of the Smiths of Agri-station?” Faleen Monroe asked. “I hear they are quite well-to-do, and then they own big stakes in the sev bread industry. Rumor has it the heir to the fortune is an Adonis.”
I wasn't embarrassed by Dax, but these girls would rip him to shreds if they knew his background. They weren’t enlightened to the universal value of humans beyond financial merit and social position.
Before the Lazarus, I hadn’t wanted to be associated with anyone outside of this group. Meeting Vega and Dax had taught me otherwise, whether I liked it or not.
And I'd be forever grateful.
I had to think of a lie that would be believable, yet not easy to research.
“He’s up for promotion.” That was believable and probably true. Dax was a hard worker and talented.
Claudette, who had dyed her hair from dark green to lavender, and was wearing ocular implants of the same color, looked at me coolly with an arched eyebrow.
“Where is his family from? What do they do?” She smelled the falsehood, and I scrambled. I wasn't great at lying. Then something came to me.
“His parents have a place in the Hub.” A lot of the wealthy had establishments in the Hub, where there were fewer restrictions and a greater profit margin. And technically, it was true.
I don't think Claudette believed me, but the other girl clapped her hands together, her curls bouncing.
“So, how are things here? What have you been doing since I left?”
They stared blankly. I could see them searching for something new or exciting. Anything.
“My father set me up,” Faleen said. “I’m to be married to Tian Kulio of the grav suit conglomerate and positioned as a corporal stationed on the Pleasure Planet Euros.
“That's...nice.”
Parents arranged a lot of marriages in the satellite stations. She'd been promised to someone and assigned as a corporal. Her parents must have been desperate to keep her out of the general military. I glanced over at Claudette.
“I'm not seventeen yet, so I have a few more months. My parents have already put in my waiver. I plan on continuing just as I am. Somebody has to keep these parties interesting.”
We all laughed at that. I got a tiny flash of the positive feelings I used to have around these girls. Our humor had been about commiseration and how boring or useless we felt.
My sister came to mind.
Her life would be very similar to Claudette’s, with study wedged between tea parties and Pleasure Planet blowouts. Then she’d be matched and create beautiful, perfect children so that the cycle continued.
It all seemed so scientific and cold—no room for emotion or genuine affection. I suddenly felt pity for her.
I sensed someone behind me, and I shifted.
Dax stood, hands in his pockets. His eyebrows were down, but he gave me a tight smile when I turned. I motioned him forward. When had he arrived?
I turned to the girls. I didn’t want them to have a chance to ask questions and make him uncomfortable. This conversation had to end as quickly as possible.
“Girls, this is Cadet Daxson Smith, my escort. And if you’ll excuse us, I’m parched. Dax, would you like to check out the beverage station?”
He nodded. I could tell Claudette was desperate to interrogate him, but I’d excused us, and on the satellite, social niceties were observed as strictly as martial law.
I linked my arm with his and guided him over to the wall with the multi-drink fountain. He didn't pull me closer, but he didn't pull away either.
“The fountain has anything you can imagine,” I explained. “Place your hand on the panel. The machine will decipher your tastes using your body chem...”
Dax wasn't looking at me as he always did when I spoke. He usually gave me his rapt attention, but he was looking away, his lips held in a tight line.
My mouth dried as I tried to swallow. I needed to drink. I unhooked my arm from his and sat in front of the screen.
“Cherry, carbonated, unsweetened, with antioxidants and a splash of lemon. Just my suggestion, and it usually ended up being better.”
Occasionally, the machine picked up on my weird mood, and I ended up with hot chocolate, but mostly it was accurate. I placed my palm on the readout. The engine puffed out pale green smoke and made a show of whirling a mini 3-D light show until my drink slid out.
I took a sip. He was more watermelon than ch
erry, but it quenched my thirst and calmed my nerves. I believed it contained alcohol.
“Try.” I offered the cup to Dax, who waved it off.
“When can we leave? I mean, I'm not trying to rush you, but we do have to get back to the station.”
That was a definite sign that something was wrong. Not that he didn’t have the right to feel slightly uncomfortable. I expected that, but I had so much to show him still, had so much to tell him. But if he wanted to go, I’d respect his feelings.
I sucked in another big swig of watermelon drink and felt more relaxed. “I've made the rounds. We’re not required to stay. My parents only wanted me here for face value, not to participate or enjoy myself. I was just their excuse to have a party.”
He frowned at that. “I'm sorry to rush you, Am. Your parents are... Well, they’re better than my parents. We can stay as long as you’d like.” That was Dax, always attempting to make me feel better and always putting my needs first.
I didn’t want to stay here anymore, either. With another sip of my watermelon fizz, I flicked my wrist and sent a message to Reg. Almost instantly, I got a message back.
“Transport will be ready in five minutes.” He added the location where we would meet.
“Thank you for putting up with my family and me,” I said.
Again, Dax’s expression softened. His lips turned up in the slightest smile, and he reached out as if you were going to stroke the side of my face but paused and let his hand drop.
“No worries, Amelie. I’d do it for any of my friends.”
“Friends?”
“Yes. Friend. Just like Vega or Ethan.” He made a point of stepping away from me. I felt the distance in his stance...in his face.
If he had stomped on my foot and elbowed me in the face, I would've felt less injured. Did he think of me as only a friend at this point?
Boys were confusing. There was no straight-line of understanding with them. I thought we had something special. I thought he was somebody I could rely on, that cared about me. But if one trip to my childhood home scared him off, then he wasn't the boy I thought he was.
I threw back the last of the drink and ordered another one quickly. I slammed my hand against the plate, picked up my drink, and took a sip.
More alcohol in this one. Good. I needed something to take the edge off. I returned to Dax.
“I’m going to say goodbye to my parents, and then we can leave. Get a drink if you want or don't.”
I stalked over to where my parents were schmoozing with the upper echelon of the Agri-station.
They weren’t as high-powered as the others, but they were definite allies of the satellites. I stood at the proper distance and waited until I caught my mother's eye.
She lifted her chin and elegantly extricated herself from the conversation.
“Mother. I need to return to the station. Thank you again. It was lovely.”
I did appreciate the effort. It was the first time they positively acknowledged me since I was tiny and still doing well in school, before Courtney.
Those were the days when they still loved me. But I'd never be perfect, never be what they wanted, and part of me would always try. She raised a finger. My father immediately came to her side.
“So soon? You and your escort having issues?” she asked.
“No.” I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of acknowledging that.
My father bowed to me. “Safe journey.”
“I'll attempt to get you assigned in a safe location,” my mom said. “But you know we only have so much influence. Please, try to do a good job. It will help with the negotiations. It is quite expensive.”
Her comments always made me want to scream, but social programming kept a smile on my face. At least they wanted me alive.
I inclined my head. “Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, Father.”
I retreated, dropping off my empty glass on a passing waiter bot, and rejoined Dax.
He stood by the lift, shifting from foot to foot. He couldn’t wait to be done with me and my world forever.
I didn’t care. We were just friends.
The regular lift doors opened, and we entered with a large group.
We didn't speak to each other. When we arrived at the thoroughfare, I motored forward.
I knew the directions by heart. Three blocks down and one to the right led to the docking station. I kept a few paces in front of Dax. It felt good getting some of my energy out.
“Amelie, slow down!”
Anger was winning against sadness and fear.
I’d risked my career and my reputation, and offered him my first real kiss. But how did he thank me? By calling me his friend.
The sleek transport waited, door open. I slid in and faced toward the window, arms and legs crossed. My body shifted away and focused on the view.
I wanted to be back at the barracks. I wanted to go back to the lab. Everything made sense there, and I could do something right.
Dax slid in next to me, keeping his distance. The door closed, plunging us into darkness. All I could hear was his harsh breathing. The ambient light glowed, and his face reflected in the window.
His brows were down, his head bowed.
“Am, I don't know what I've done to make you angry at me. If anyone should be upset, it’s me.”
I swiveled in the seat and glared at him with my hands rolling into fists. “How so?”
Dax took his customary amount of time to think of what to say next.
“You’re embarrassed of me, and I don't blame you. It was stupid of me to come. I just wanted to spend time with you, not pretend to be a Hub boss or heir to a fortune.”
He had heard me. I supposed he had reason to be upset with me. But all he’d had to do was say something to clear it up.
“I did that to save you from having to explain yourself.”
He raised his eyebrows. “There’s nothing to explain. I’m just Dax. I’m from the Hub. The lowest rung on the Axis.”
“I know that. It doesn’t matter to me—Hub or satellite. We’re the same. I don’t even care. I’ll give you enough credits, so you don’t have to worry about anything ever again. You or your family. They could move out into a nic—”
“Amelie, your credits won’t solve the problems between us. We come from very different worlds.”
“It’s not wrong to be rich. I used my money to help you. And your family. And get you out of trouble. You know what? I won’t help you anymore if it offends you.”
“It doesn't offend me. It's just...” He put his hand on his forehead, shoving it through his long, sandy brown hair. A portion dropped over his face.
I wanted to kiss him again. He looked so vulnerable. His lips were full, and his light brown eyes looked like molten gold in the light.
But I was mad. He didn’t understand. And I had logic on my side. Therefore, I was right. He was wrong and should apologize.
Before I said anything that might make things worse, I crossed my arms against my chest and shifted away from him.
The ship dipped and dodged other transports as we weaved through spiraling stars.
I waved my hand over my wrist communicator to find out how long it would be before we got back.
Dax shifted and cleared his throat. “Am. I’m sorry.”
He’d apologized, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
“Me too.” My heart shriveled and froze as if it had been shoved out of an airlock.
Chapter Seventy-Nine
Dax
The vehicle transport was silent. It felt like the longest trip in history, and I had traveled out to the Lazarus on a freighter that took three months.
Amelie’s body language shifted. She was an ice queen.
Her knees and torso turned completely away from me. She sat ramrod straight with her hands clasped in her lap.
I was sure she was resisting lashing out at me.
It was me who should be angry. She had been embarrassed of me. Why invite me to the
party if she didn't want to be with me?
She was so intelligent, but when it came to practical matters, Amelie still had a lot to learn. Or did she believe I could become an officer and rise to her level, or that she could just buy my way into her society?
Nothing would change what I was.
The ship slid into the docking bay and gently touched down. The door whooshed open, and she scrambled out even before Reg could officially offer help. I tumbled out behind her.
She waved at Reg and marched away, using her most determined stride.
I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't want us to have this distance between us. We could be friends if nothing else.
Amelie was one of the smartest and most interesting people I’d known, and if I could only have her friendship, then so be it. I raced after her, but she was fast. Faster than she had been even in the training sessions. Anger fueled speed.
I caught her in the corridor.
“Am, wait.” She stood by the lift that would take her up to the Science Division and me down to Engineering.
She shifted to look at me, eyes narrowed and teeth digging into her bottom lip. After a moment, she quirked her eyebrows. “You have something else to say?”
“I...I just don't want you to be...”
Dang, my slow-moving brain. I couldn't find the words to say the right thing to ease the tension.
The lift doors opened, and a squad of cadets poured out, moving toward the launch bay, probably for a class.
The Academy ran classes and training sessions at all times of day and night.
Like predators sniffing for blood, one shifted trajectory and stood just out of arms reach in front of Amelie.
“You got me in trouble, and I don't appreciate it. You should watch your back.”
Her face drained of color, and she back-stepped.
I knew Amelie could handle it after she gathered herself, but I wouldn’t allow anyone to talk to her like that.
Cadet: Star Defenders Book Two: Space Opera Adventure Page 37