Glancing to my right, I saw my cell phone sitting on the side table. I reached for it and pressed the button on the side, turning it on.
“It’s about goddamn time. What is it with you Parker men? My God, does a damn lightning bolt need to come out of the sky and strike your penis for you to get your other head on straight?”
“I needed time to think,” I said defensively.
“Hmm, your phone had to be off for you to think?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds like you didn’t think very much then, Trevor. Dick.”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, you do know that I can hear you calling me a dick.”
“If the cowboy boot fits.”
I sighed and said, “I don’t think it is his baby, but I’m not sure if they haven’t struck up something other than friendship. He’s always with her and they looked…comfortable the few times I’ve seen them together.”
“Maybe he’s just being a friend to her. Sounds like she needed one.”
Now it was my turn to let out a gruff laugh.
“May I give you some advice, Trevor?”
I faced my aunt again. “Yes.”
“Go to her in person. Don’t do this over the phone. The first thing you need to do is tell her you’re sorry for being a…”
“Dick?”
She smiled. “You said it, not me.”
With a nod, I returned her smile with one of my own. “Thanks, Aunt Vi.”
I made my way back toward the house. I’d go see my father before heading back to my place.
“Trevor, before you go to her, change and shower, you stink.”
“Don’t you have a pool at your own house, Aunt Vi?”
She laughed. “What fun would that be?”
My hand rubbed the tension in the back of my neck. “If they don’t already know, will you not say anything to my folks? I want to be the one to tell them.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, the Oak Springs prayer chain hasn’t asked for God to strike you down dead yet, so…you’ve got that working for you.”
I was positive my eyes were wide as saucers before I chuckled. “Right. See ya later, Aunt Vi.”
“See ya!”
I found both of my folks crashed on the sofa, and I didn’t want to wake them so I headed back to my place to shower before making my way into town. When I pulled up to Scarlett’s house, I saw her BMW in the driveway. I pulled in a deep breath and got out of my truck. Glancing across the street, I couldn’t help but notice Mrs. Johnson talking to Mrs. Croft. They both looked my way and waved, while giving me a smile that clearly said they already knew the news. If they knew the scuttlebutt, then who else also knew it?
“Fuck,” I mumbled as I smiled and waved back.
Taking the porch steps two at a time, I rang Scarlett’s doorbell and held my breath. If Eric was here I was going to rip him in two.
The door opened and my breath caught in my throat. Scarlett stood in front of me in a pair of worn-out jeans and my old T-shirt I had left over here. The best part of all was a paint smudge on the tip of her nose and one on her forehead.
Fucking hell, she looked gorgeous.
“Painting?” I asked with a smile. She didn’t return the smile. She simply pushed the door open and walked into the living room.
That wasn’t a good sign.
I followed her through the living room and then up the steps. My heart was pounding, not because I was secretly hoping she was taking me to her room and we were going to have the most amazing make-up sex, but because this woman was carrying my baby.
Our baby.
That did something to my heart, and I couldn’t explain what. It was a good thing…but it was also a scary thing.
She walked past her bedroom and into the room down the hall. When I walked in, I looked around. She was painting it a light yellow. There were strips of painter’s tape going across the room halfway down the wall and across to the floorboards.
“Scarlett, I can help you paint this room.”
Spinning on her heels, she glared. I instinctively took a step back.
“This room is the nursery.”
My stomach did that weird flutter thing, like it always did when Scarlett smiled at me, but this was better. If there could be such a thing.
“Oh,” I whispered, not sure what else to say. Then I found my words.
“I’d love to help you with the nursery.”
Her face softened, and she lifted her chin. “So you don’t still think the baby is Eric’s?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I was confused and he made it seem like y’all were together. The whole thing completely caught me off guard and I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
Scarlett stared down at the floor. “We’re only friends. Eric and me.”
Her voice sounded off, as if she was telling me the truth but also holding back.
“You don’t sound convinced of that.”
Snapping her eyes back up to mine, she replied, “I only see him as a friend. He, on the other hand…well…he admitted to having feelings for me.”
I swallowed hard. “Oh.”
It was the only damn thing I could say.
We both stood there for a few moments, neither of us knowing what to say.
“When did you find out? About the baby?” I asked, clearing my throat. She looked panicked for a quick moment and looked away.
“Can I get all of this cleaned up before we talk?”
Moving farther into the room, I took the paint brush and roller. “I’ll clean up. You might want to jump in the shower. You have paint on your face.”
Reaching up with my hand, I tried to rub it off of her forehead. Scarlett drew in a breath and locked her brown eyes on mine.
For a moment, I thought she was going to lift up on her toes to kiss me, but she did the opposite. She stepped away from me, putting distance between us that I felt in my very soul. It nearly killed me.
“Thanks,” she whispered before leaving the room.
I closed my eyes and cursed. Things were totally fucked up between us, and it was all my fault.
After I got the paint lid back on and cleaned the brushes and the roller, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. Scarlett always had lemonade. While everyone else loved sweet tea, she loved lemonade and I really loved her lemonade.
I looked everywhere in the refrigerator and couldn’t find it.
“What are you looking for?” she asked, making me jump.
“Shit, you scared me. Um, the lemonade.”
She slid onto a chair at the large kitchen island.
“I don’t drink it anymore. All the sugar isn’t good for me or the…baby.”
I leaned against the counter. I had to admit I wasn’t as freaked out about the baby as I had been twelve hours ago. I had been out by the pool rocking back and forth on the lounge chair while Steed and Aunt Vi looked on, concern on their faces. They’d been smart enough to leave me alone. The only time Aunt Vi approached was when I started chanting, A baby. Holy shit. A baby.
Moving around a bit on the stool, Scarlett placed her arms on the island and then seemed to think twice about keeping them there. She was nervous, and I was trying my best to act calm. I had no idea what was going to happen between us. The last thing I wanted was for her to see how fucking scared I was.
Scarlett handed me a piece of paper. “So, um, that’s the baby’s first picture. It was a sonogram they did when I found out I was pregnant. The baby is due on May 25.”
My breath caught, a bit of panic raced through my veins, but I did my best to hide it. The picture looked like a little blob, but it was the most beautiful blob I’d ever seen.
“So, you’re not that far along.”
“No,” she replied. “Like I said in the text I sent, I’m about ten weeks. I’m guessing it was that night we…when you…”
“When we made love with no condom?”
She nodded, her hands wringing together. “I’m not looking
for anything from you, Trevor. I want you to be a part of this baby’s life, but I’m not going to force you into anything.”
A sharp pain hit me square in the chest, and for a moment it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“You honestly think I’d walk away from my own child?”
Her sad eyes lifted to meet mine. “You don’t have a problem walking away from me.”
A bout of nausea hit me. “I guess I deserved that.”
Her brow lifted, something like resignation showing on her face.
“I need you to know something. I haven’t been sleeping around.”
She scoffed. “I’ve seen you flirting with women. That girl you walked out of Lilly’s with. That was the day I found out I was pregnant. Do you know how it felt to see you flirting with her after I had just found out I was carrying your baby?”
“Nothing happened. I was being nice to my buddy’s fiancé’s maid of honor. That was all.”
Scarlett looked away, wiping a tear as she shook her head.
“Maebh knows about the baby, doesn’t she?” I asked.
When she didn’t answer, I went on. “Does Cord know?”
Scarlett swallowed hard.
“Well, a few things make a bit more sense now. Like how Maebh wanted to rip my head off.”
Glancing my way, she said, “I asked them not to say anything to you, so please don’t be mad at them. I wanted to tell you myself. I was going to tell you yesterday morning before you had to leave. Then when you said you were going to Lilly’s for lunch, I was going to see if we could take a walk, but Eric showed up, and well…we know how that all went.”
My own fucking brother knew before me. My stomach rolled.
“When did Eric find out?”
Scarlett looked like she didn’t want to answer. “The day I did. Maebh had gone into his office to call Cord because I had cried myself to sleep in hers and…”
I sucked in a breath. I fucking knew she had been upset when I saw her that day. I figured she thought I might be hooking up with someone. It was the whole reason I went over to Aisling to talk to her. That asshole lied to me when he said they weren’t there.
Prick.
“He lied and said you weren’t there. I knew you were upset, and I wanted to explain to you who that was, but he lied and said you weren’t there.”
Her eyes filled with regret.
“I’m…I’m sorry.”
With a frustrated groan, I shook my head. “Why didn’t you just fucking tell me?” Anger laced my words.
“I was going to but then I saw you making out with that stripper and Eric started telling me how you were never going to change, and I…I was confused, Trevor. You haven’t exactly made this relationship…or whatever was between us, very easy.”
“Was?” I asked, feeling my heart practically stop at that one word. Had she given up on me? On us?
Scarlett wrapped her arms around her body and stared at me. My eyes scanned her, and I caught sight of a spot of yellow paint still in her hair. Walking up to her, I picked up the piece and smiled.
“You have paint in your hair.”
The way she looked up warmly gave me hope that maybe she hadn’t given up on me, but she surprised the hell out of me with her next set of words.
Scarlett shook her head. “I can’t do this with you anymore. One minute you’re hot, the next you’re cold. I have to think about my baby.”
“Our baby,” I corrected.
Her eyes closed, and she whispered, “Our baby.” Opening them, her eyes filled were full of sadness. “Since that first moment you asked me to dance with you when we were just kids, I’ve had feelings for you. I thought maybe you did too.”
“I did. I do,” I quickly added.
“You don’t know what you want, Trevor. I can’t do this with you. I refuse to be the type of woman who sits at home and wonders how many women you’re flirting with, or how many more are on your mind.”
I took a step back. “I’d never cheat on you. I mean, we were together Scarlett, but I never said we were exclusive. Still, I haven’t been with anyone else in months.”
“Have you tried? To be with another woman?”
Guilt ripped at me, my silence her answer.
“Right now, I need to focus on me and the baby.”
“Where does that leave us?” I asked.
With a half shrug, she replied, “Two people who are going to have a baby.”
Closing my eyes, I balled my fists and counted to ten before I looked at her.
“That’s it? What are we, Scarlett? Friends? Lovers? Two people trying to figure this out and start over?”
“You’ve hurt me more than once, Trevor. I know you didn’t promise me anything, but I felt something between us and I let myself fall in…”
Her voice trailed off.
“You let yourself fall in what?”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t. I fucked up, I get that. I was confused. Hell, I’m still confused. You’re the only woman in my life who has ever made me want more and that scares me, Scarlett. I left the bar the other night to find you, to tell you I’m sorry I messed things up with us. To beg you to give me one more chance. I was scared of my feelings, and I finally admitted it to myself. That night I realized how much I cared for you, I was scared.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice almost a plea.
“Why what?”
“Why does that scare you?”
“I don’t know! Because if I give you my heart and you leave me, I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to survive. It would destroy me, Scarlett.”
She inhaled sharply and a tear fell, then another. My whole damn world felt like it was tipped over because I was upsetting her.
I pulled her into my arms and held her.
“Please don’t cry, baby. I hate making you cry, and I do it all the damn time.”
Her hands came up and she gripped onto my T-shirt as she buried her head into my chest.
“You have to know I’ve never done this before, Scarlett, and I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m going to fuck up, but I swear to you I’ll never hurt you again.”
When she pulled back, she bit down on her lip before saying, “I wish I could I believe you. You have no idea how much I wish I could believe you, but I can’t.”
My legs about went out from under me.
“What?” I whispered, a feeling of dread settled into my chest.
“At least, not right now. There’s so much going on, and I’m not sure if you’re feeling this way because you feel obligated to the baby.”
“Scarlett, I lov—”
Her hand covered my mouth. Shaking her head, she whispered, “Please don’t say it. Not now. Not when we are in this weird, unknown place. The only time I ever want to hear you say that again is when you know one-hundred percent that the words you speak are from your heart.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I knew I loved her. Hell, I fell for her that day outside of Lilly’s when I kissed her.
“Please, Trevor.”
I pulled her hand away from my mouth. “I’m not going to promise you that I won’t tell you I love you, because I do love you.”
Her eyes closed.
“Scarlett, look at me.”
She swallowed hard, then opened her eyes.
“I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I didn’t have my shit figured out and it took a while for me to come around. I can’t change any of that. I need you to know, though, I wanted to tell you this the other night before I found out about the baby. The night I saw you at Maebh’s restaurant.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. I gently wiped it away.
“Do you love me, Scarlett?”
Her head dropped, and I lifted her chin so that she was forced to look at me.
“Do you love me? Please just answer that one question.”
Trembling, she whispered, “Yes, I love you.”
I let out the breath I was holding. Then she stepped away from me.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can’t play tug of war with you anymore, Trevor. I want you to be a part of the baby’s life, but right now, I don’t think you can be a part of mine.”
“Scarlett, please.”
My voice cracked as she shook her head.
Turning away, I closed my eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths. The back of my throat burned as I fought to keep my own tears at bay.
I wasn’t sure how long we stood in her kitchen before Scarlett finally spoke.
“We need to tell our parents before they hear it from someone else.”
With a nod, I turned and looked at her. She looked tired and worn out.
“Okay, let’s do that together.”
“My father is going to expect things, and I think we need to be prepared for him to be rather upset when he finds out we’re not getting married.”
I swallowed hard. The thought of marrying someone just a month ago would have made me break out in hives. Now everything was different.
“I’d marry you in a heartbeat if you’d have me.”
Scarlett’s eyes widened in surprise. Then she looked angry as hell.
“Let me get this straight, Trevor Parker. I can’t get you to commit to just dating me, and then all of sudden you’d marry me?”
“You’re having my baby, Scarlett.”
She shook her head. “Is that the only reason you’d marry me, Trevor? Because you knocked me up, and it’s the proper, southern thing to do?”
“What? No! I mean, if things were different, I’d, of course, want to date. Especially since I’ve never really dated anyone. I think things would move slower, but…I guess I messed that up.”
Scarlett opened her mouth but snapped it shut quickly. After pacing for a few moments, she faced me.
“Should we tell your parents first or mine?”
“That was a change of subject.”
Tilting her head, she glared at me.
“Mine?” I said, a hint of fear in my voice.
“I think we should do this today.”
“Wait,” I said, putting my hand up to my face and scrubbing over it. “Don’t you think we need to figure some things out before we tell our parents? Do we move in together? Where will the baby live?”
Reckless Love Page 7