“If you’ll excuse me.”
Trevor was right behind me as I rushed out of the family room and down the hall. I wasn’t even sure where I was going. When I got to the end of a hall, I stopped and wrapped my arms around myself, letting the tears I’d been holding back finally fall.
Warm arms engulfed me, holding me while I let it all out.
“Shhh, it’s okay, baby.”
Shaking my head, I turned to Trevor. “They didn’t even congratulate us! This wasn’t how I pictured this, Trevor. Not at all. I feel like I’ve been robbed of so much already. I didn’t get to tell you the way I wanted to, our parents are mad at us for being reckless and irresponsible and although they are being cordial, they totally expect us to be married before next May. I just want to feel happy about this. I’m tired of crying! I’m tired of being sad. I want this baby, and I can’t even feel happy about it.”
Trevor pulled me to him, letting me bury my face in his chest.
“I swear I’ll make it up to you, baby. I swear.”
He couldn’t make it up to me though. Those moments would never come back. The happy tears, the room filled with laughter and joy. I would never get them for this baby and that nearly shattered my already broken heart.
Trevor used his finger to lift my chin, so I was looking up at him.
“Let’s me and you go out tonight and celebrate.”
I smiled and wiped my tears away. “Really?”
The way he smiled back left me breathless. I knew this man cared deeply for me. I’d heard him whisper in the darkness that he loved me. Why couldn’t I let my heart believe he’d be happy with me and our baby?
Why?
Trevor pulled out his phone and sent off a text message as I wiped my tears away.
“Yes, really. We’re having a baby, and not only could I use a hard drink, I want to do this over again. Tonight you’re going to tell me I’m going to be a father. This is our do-over.”
I smiled, feeling a lightness in my body I hadn’t felt in weeks. Trevor looked at his phone again when a message came through. Maybe he was already making plans for our dinner. I felt giddy for the first time in a long time.
After pushing his phone in his pocket, Trevor slipped his fingers between mine. I didn’t have the strength to pull away, and I didn’t want to. I needed him right now, and I was going to be selfish and take what I could.
“Thank you, Trevor.”
He winked and tugged me gently.
“Let’s go tell our folks we’re leaving.”
I let Trevor lead the way back to the family room. When we walked in, my mother and Melanie both stood up.
“Scarlett and I are leaving. Y’all may not want to celebrate this news, but we definitely do.”
Melanie’s hand covered her mouth and John did his best to stand. My father was standing in front of me before I even knew he had moved.
“Scarlett, you don’t believe that we’re happy?”
“You all certainly don’t seem like it. This wasn’t the reaction I’d hoped for when I told you about the baby.”
“Darling, we were shocked. That’s all,” my mother said, pulling me to her and wrapping me in her arms.
I watched as Melanie hugged Trevor and John did the same. Trevor was careful not to hurt his dad with his broken ribs.
“Why don’t we all go out and celebrate!” Melanie said. “John, are you feeling up to it?”
“Hell yes, I am. There’s another grandbaby coming, so let the party begin!”
Trevor leaned down and kissed his mother’s cheek. I couldn’t hear him, but I saw him say thank you. Trevor must have sent her the message in the hallway. The way our parents did a one-eighty was nothing short of a miracle. I made a note to ask him what he had done to make this happen.
A small piece of my heart felt like it was mending.
“Let me take Scarlett home so she can change and then we’ll meet…where?” Trevor asked.
“How about Lane’s Grill? Waylynn knows the owner and said the food is amazing,” Melanie said with excitement.
Trevor winked at her. “Make it happen.”
After kissing and hugging everyone, Trevor and I made our way out of the house and back to his truck. We drove in silence most of the way back into town. I could tell Trevor was thinking, and I didn’t want to interrupt whatever he was working through in his mind. When he finally spoke, I jumped.
“So, I’ve got an idea.”
“Shit! You scared me,” I said with a chuckle.
He smiled but didn’t look my way. “Want to hear it?”
“Of course, I want to hear it.”
“The nights that I normally worked at Cord’s Place, I’ll plan on coming over to your place.” He turned to me and winked. “See what I did there?”
I giggled and nodded. “I did see that.”
The fun side of Trevor. I loved this side of him and wondered how many women had actually gotten to see it. As much as I wanted to not remember the good times with Trevor, I couldn’t forget them. It wasn’t like he only showed up on my doorstep for sex. When I was sick he came over for almost a week straight and did nothing but watch reruns of Friends with me. The random days he would show up after I went for a run and sit on my porch and just talk to me. The canoe ride we took were he made friends with an old man who was trying to save a duck…which landed Trevor in the lake and he hadn’t even cared. The way he pulled over once and asked if I wanted to swing on at a playground.
That was the Trevor I fell in love with. The man no one else ever saw. I even knew back then he was afraid of committing. He told me more than once, but I couldn’t push him away. Trevor Parker made his way into my heart when I was only eighteen years old, and I knew he would forever be its keeper. He had still hurt me, though, and I was not going to make this easy for him. No matter how badly I wanted him, I needed to know he was truly ready to commit to not only the baby, but to me as well before I let him back in a hundred percent.
I had been so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t heard a word Trevor said.
“What do you think?”
“Um, I was completely lost and may or may not have been listening.”
Trevor laughed. “Is that the pregnancy brain I hear my sisters-in-law talk about?”
“Ha! Maybe, what did you say?”
“I was saying, how about if I come over here and get the nursery set up. That way you don’t have to be inhaling any fumes or moving furniture or anything. You tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”
Chewing on my lip, I tried to ignore the way he made my insides melt. I didn’t want to seem too eager for his help, but I didn’t want to deny it either. It was going to be important for us to spend time together.
“You don’t mind?”
“No, not at all. Do you want to do the nursery at my house in the same theme?”
Good Lord, how does this man even know about nursery themes? Ugh. He’s going to make this paying him back thing very hard to do.
“Um, I haven’t really thought about a theme. I just liked the color yellow I saw in a magazine!”
Trevor lost it laughing. “Well, do you want a theme?”
Giddiness filled my entire body. Are we really talking about nursery themes right now?
“You don’t think we’re jinxing anything by planning the theme this early, do you?”
Trevor’s smile vanished, and he rubbed the back of his neck. Clear sign I had just given him something to stress about.
“Shit, I didn’t think about that. Maybe we should hold off?”
I shrugged. “Well, I did buy this little Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal the other day.”
“Pooh Bear?”
Thud. Why did that sound so damn sexy and make me instantly ache between my legs?
“Yep!” I said, trying not to sound like two sweet, innocent words from him had instantly turned me on.
“Jesus, I used to love Winnie the Pooh. Ask my mother. I was obsessed with him for years.”
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I smiled warmly as he got lost in a childhood memory. “Do you want to do the nursery in that theme? I mean, when the time comes to do it.”
Trevor was stopped at a stop light and turned to look at me. There was no doubt I saw something in his eyes. Was that…excitement?
“How about we do that theme at my house, and you pick out something you love for your house?” he said. Clearly, he was claiming Pooh Bear.
“Two themes! You’re living on the edge, Trevor Parker.”
He went to reach for my hand but stopped himself. A tinge of regret pulsed in my chest and I wanted to extend my hand to him, but I knew we needed to move slowly. I wanted to believe with all my heart that Trevor would change, but even I had my doubts that a leopard could change his spots that quickly.
Trevor pulled into my driveway, still laughing about living on the edge. His smile came to an abrupt halt. I turned to see what he was looking at and nearly gasped when I found Eric sitting on the bench on my front porch. When he looked up and saw me in Trevor’s truck, he frowned.
“What in the fuck is he doing here?” Trevor demanded. “Did you know he was here?”
“No! Of course not.” Turning to Trevor, I watched his jaw flex. I was so angry at Eric for just showing up and waiting for me like this. He and I needed to have a talk. I had no idea why he was acting this way. I never led him to believe I thought of him as anything more than a friend.
“Let me handle this, please.”
“How can you not be pissed at him after what he did?”
I sighed heavily. “I am angry, Trevor, but Eric was there for me when I needed a friend, and I can’t turn my back on him because you don’t like him.”
The grip Trevor had on the steering wheel tightened so much his knuckles turned white.
When he met my gaze, I gasped. His blue eyes looked grey and I could feel the anger in them. “I would have been here for you had you told me about the baby.”
Placing my hand on his arm, I gave it a squeeze. “I thought we were starting over. Let’s not do this, especially in front of Eric.”
Trevor’s body relaxed, and he shook his head, probably to clear his mind of the things he was plotting to do to Eric. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just, seeing him makes me want to throat punch his ass every single time.”
I chuckled. “Stop it. Are you going back to your place to change?”
Trevor looked at me like I was insane. “Hell no. I’ll run over to Cord’s and grab a shirt from him and shower and change at your place.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“What?” he asked, giving me a fake, innocent smile.
“Behave, Trevor Parker, do you hear me? We’re in this situation because I couldn’t say no to you.”
He winked, and I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.
“Let me get the door for you.”
There was no use in arguing, Trevor insisted on helping me out of the truck every single time. I watched as he walked around the front, ignoring Eric along the way.
A part of me was disappointed that Trevor didn’t try to hold onto my hand as we walked up the steps to my porch. I was positive he didn’t want Eric to see if I pulled my hand away. I wouldn’t have. I didn’t need to give Eric any ideas that he might have a chance with me.
“Eric, what are you doing here?” I asked. Trevor stood next to me, his hands in his pockets. The way he was staring at Eric should have made him drop to the ground.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“She’s fine, so you can leave now,” Trevor stated.
When I shot a warning look in his direction, Trevor sighed.
“Trevor, why don’t you run over to Cord’s? I need to talk to Eric.”
He opened his mouth to protest but stopped when I pleaded with my eyes.
Trevor leaned down and kissed me on the forehead like it was second nature. He whispered, “I’ll only be a minute.”
I watched him head down the steps to his truck. It wasn’t hard to notice that he paused before climbing in. I knew it had to be hard for him to leave me here with Eric.
Smiling, I watched him back out of the driveway and head to the square. I figured I had about fifteen minutes or less to get things settled with Eric.
“So, I see you’ve just let him back into your life. Where were you?”
For the first time since I’d been friends with Eric, I didn’t want to see him. Let alone talk to him.
How dare he treat me this way?
With my keys in my hand, I faced my door and unlocked it. “Would you like something to drink? How long have you been sitting out here?”
Eric huffed and followed me in. “I’d love some water. I’ve been here about thirty minutes. I saw your car and figured you went for a walk.”
Making my way into the kitchen, I pulled out two bottles of water and handed one to Eric.
He opened the water and nearly drank the whole bottle before sitting on a stool and waiting for me to talk.
“First of all, Trevor is always going to be in my life because we’re having a child together. As far as where we were, it’s honestly none of your business, but I’ll tell you anyway. We told our parents about the baby.”
His brows shot up. “Wow. How did that go?”
With a shrug, I replied, “It could have gone better. Our folks are going out to eat with us to celebrate, so I need to make this quick so I can get ready.”
Eric’s eyes looked sad.
Before I had a chance to speak, he started in.
“Scarlett, a man like that doesn’t change his colors overnight.”
“How do you know?”
He sighed. “My God, are you that desperate for him?”
I gave him a warning look.
“I’m sorry, but I find it hard to believe that you would just take him back.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Eric. I haven’t let Trevor back in. We’re not a couple, at least not right now.”
His eyes flickered with something that looked like hope. “Oh? Why not?”
“I told Trevor I needed time to figure out how to forgive him. Make sure he wasn’t doing all of this because of the baby. He said he wanted to be with me exclusively before he even found out about the baby.”
With a rough laugh, Eric said, “And you believe him?”
Folding my arms across my chest, I nodded. “I do. I saw the look on his face that night when he saw me at Aisling and thought I was with you. He was devastated. He’d been trying to call me all that day, and I kept ignoring him. When I finally did answer, he told me he needed to talk to me. That’s when we made plans to meet that next morning.”
“How do you know he didn’t already know about the baby?”
This time I was the one who scoffed. “I’m sorry, do you not remember when you dropped the baby bomb on him? His reaction alone says he didn’t know.”
Eric had the decency to look like he regretted his part in all of that.
“Fine, so let’s say he had some sort of epiphany, do you think he is the type of man to stay faithful to you, love?”
I thought about his question for a few moments before answering.
“Deep down, my heart is answering yes. My head is still a bit confused.”
“I’d listen to your head and not your heart.”
“Eric, you’ll never know how much I appreciate you being there for me, and I don’t want to lose your friendship. I need you to understand something, though. I love Trevor and I may not be ready to fall into a relationship with him, but we owe it to each other to see where things go. We’re having a baby together and I know that’s not the only reason for us to be a couple, but I want to try. I can’t explain it to you other than to say that I gave that man my heart a long time ago, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give it to someone else, at least not any time soon.”
He shook his head. “How can you say that after everything he did?”
With a shrug, I
spoke the truth. “Because you only saw the bad. He never promised me anything, and he was always up front from the first moment I went with him to his family’s benefit dinner. He’s always been honest about that.”
“So you were okay hooking up with a guy who whores around?”
Flinching, I looked down at my hands and then back to Eric. “I can’t help the way my heart feels, Eric.”
Looking away, he stood. “You’re being foolish and acting like a silly girl with a high school crush.”
My body heated with anger. “Excuse me?”
“Foolish! You think he is going to change, and you are wrong. A man like him cannot stop being with countless women. He likes the chase and the adventure too much.”
There was no sense in arguing with him. Even if I told him Trevor hadn’t been with other women, he’d argue that Trevor was lying.
“If that’s your opinion of me and of Trevor, there’s nothing I can do or say to change your mind.”
Eric sighed. “For Christ’s sake, Scarlett. Can’t you see I would always take care of you and love you?”
“Can’t you see how unhappy you would be? Why would you want to be with a woman who loves another man?”
“You’ll learn to love me.”
“Please don’t make me keep doing this, Eric. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Eric walked over to me and pulled me to him, crushing his lips to mine.
I knew he was hoping for a spark that might give him the slightest hint that there was something between us. I didn’t kiss him back and just stood still in his embrace. The kiss was nothing like when I kissed Trevor. It lasted five seconds, at the most, before I pushed him away, and I wiped my mouth.
“You don’t feel anything for me? Nothing when I kissed you?”
My heart ached to hurt him. Slowly shaking my head, I replied, “No, I’m sorry.”
Swallowing hard, he started out of the kitchen.
“When he hurts you again, don’t come to me for a shoulder to cry on.”
“Eric, please don’t leave like this. I’d like to be friends.”
His hand was on the doorknob. “I don’t want to be your friend, Scarlett. I wanted more than that.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s all I can give you.”
Reckless Love Page 9