by Kristie Cook
For some reason my eyes kept drifting to Dee and Eli. He seemed so disinterested, so why did he let her touch him and carry on like that? Every time I looked his way, he was already looking at me. You’d think I’d be creeped out or feel weird about it but, it felt almost welcome to me. It was strange why I was so ok with it, but I knew I had to let this go … whatever this little attraction to Eli was. So when Tate started touching me, I completely opened myself up to it and tried to feel every sensation it gave me. I wanted to be full of Tate, my boyfriend.
I ran my hand up his thigh after he did the same to me. I played with his fingers as his thumb caressed my wrist. When he leaned over to peck the side of my neck, as he did often, I leaned back to him and kissed his jaw, my hand gripping his arm. He looked at me with a pleased, but surprised face. He pulled me to sit in his lap.
“What’s gotten into you?” he whispered amusedly in my ear.
“What? You don’t want me to?”
“Oh, I want you to. You’re just usually not like this.”
“Well, I want to play tonight,” I said and bit my lip. “Is that wrong?”
He grinned and pulled my face to his, his lips were greedy and I tasted alcohol. Someone had brought a flask with them and the guys had spiked their drinks. Great. I didn’t stop though, there was no point. I ran my hands through his hair and let him kiss me. I stopped him once his hand tried to slide too far up my thigh.
“Clara,” he growled quietly in my ear. “You are such a tease.” I looked at him, but he was smiling a little. “One of these days …”
He seemed a little more frustrated with the brakes than usual. I wondered about it, but let it go.
When the girl brought our food, I cringed, knowing exactly what was coming.
“Hey, Molly. Nice costume. You know it’s not Halloween yet, but you get points for showing up early,” Dee sneered and the expected heckling and laughing followed.
Molly was one our school Goths. She worked at this burger joint that we loved to come to and Dee and the rest of them always gave her crap every time we came.
“Bite me, Deidre. You couldn’t pull off black anyway.”
“Oh, you’re right about that. I’m not dead.”
“Yet,” Molly said and smiled brightly before bouncing off.
Dee fumed and huffed. “Eli, did you hear what she said to me?”
“Yep,” he answered easily.
“Well?” she replied indignantly.
“Well?” he said and drug it out to be sarcastic.
“You’re not going to do anything about it? She practically threatened me!” she yelled and put a hand on her chest to barter some sympathy.
“That sounds like a job for a boyfriend to me.”
She scoffed as Mike and Tom laughed. I saw her turn red, but then she switched and smiled, albeit fake.
“Ah, is that your way of asking me to go out with you? So sweet,” she said and kissed his cheek from behind, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He didn’t comment and didn’t look at her, only me. I started to wonder why no one noticed that he’d pretty much stared at me all night.
Before Molly returned, Dee orchestrated revenge, as always. She poured her water glass on the floor next to her chair. When Molly came, Dee specifically complained about her burger and asked her to come view the hair in plain sight. When she did, she slipped and fell on her butt, right there in front of everyone, including other customers.
“Oopsy! That’s a Workman’s Comp. claim right there,” Dee said seriously then burst out laughing and the minions followed suit.
“Yeah, Molls,” Mike yelled. “I’d watch it. You’re gonna flatten out that back side even more. We’ll have to change your name to no-butt.”
I stayed quiet as I always did as they cackled like hyenas around me, and so did Eli. Molly got up, red faced and embarrassed and stalked behind the counter. When she came to give us our ticket, Mike asked her how her fall had been. It must have hurt, he said, because she had no padding to break it and then he tried to grab her butt … again. Molly just slammed the ticket on the table and left. They didn’t leave a tip, they never did.
I threw a couple dollars down as I walked out, but it wasn’t nearly enough for a group our size.
Tate dropped me off at home and Eli got out as well, saying he could walk, it wasn’t far. Tate kissed me and then saluted Eli.
“Go straight in the house, Clara. It’s late, ok?” Tate ordered.
“Sure.”
“Alright. I’m gonna run Dee home. See you tomorrow, babe.”
“Bye.”
Dee climbed over the seat to sit in the front with Tate as he drove off and I turned to Eli.
“They’re fun, huh?” I said sarcastically, knowing he didn’t really have fun.
“Yeah, a blast,” he said wryly.
“Ok, well-”
“So do you guys always hang out like that? Just sitting around different venues … making fun of people?” he said and I thought I heard a bit of an accusation in there.
“Pretty much. That’s all they ever do. I hate it. I wish I’d never went with them at all once I’m there.”
“Then why go?”
“Something to do? Routine? Bored? That’s all I got. Take your pick.”
“Hmm.”
“So you and Dee?” I asked cautiously.
“Nope.”
I was confused.
“But you let her hang all over you? She kissed you,” I said and groaned inside at sounding jealous even to my ears.
“I was testing … someone. To see if they’d react to another girl showing interest in me.”
That sounded cryptic and loony, but it almost made sense.
“Well? What did you find out?”
“Oh, she reacts,” he said wryly, pushing his fingers through his hair.
“Is it how you wanted her to?”
“Not quite. She’s made a habit of making out with her boyfriend more often to ward off the attraction. It’s kind of backfiring actually,” he said with a little smile and crossed his arms over his chest.
My mouth opened, but no words came. He was talking about me. How had I not seen that one coming? Oh, I know. Because he was ruggedly handsome and exotic and different and he knew I had a boyfriend.
I just smiled shyly and turned to go. “Bye, Eli. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Clara,” he floated my name on his breath. “Sweet … dreams.”
And sweet dreams was what I had. Even though I wasn’t asleep, when I closed my eyes it was like another world was waiting behind my eyelids. Tonight, the dark boy and I met in the school cafeteria. I should have been scared. The last time we’d met I got a feeling of being terrified, but had no reason to be and didn’t understand it. I wasn’t scared now.
I found myself just walking around the dark dreary room, completely pitch black except wide streams of moon and streetlight beaming in. It was funny how our perception of everything changed by just the time of day changing. At night everything seemed so much more mysterious. I was in my sleep clothes this time; a pair of sleep shorts with little penguins on them and a black off the shoulder t-shirt.
I didn’t see him anywhere yet, but I had a feeling he would be here, so I just walked around, thinking about all the times I’d eaten there and all the stupid things my ‘friends’ had done.
“What are you thinking about?” I heard him say behind me. “You’re concentrating pretty hard.”
I turned to see him sitting on the tabletop, half in the shadows a few tables away.
“I’m just wondering who you are, and why I feel strange around you.”
“Strange how?”
“Strange like … I don’t know. Like I should be afraid, but I’m not. I trust you but I don’t even know you.”
“What if you did know me? Would that help things?”
“Would you still come to me when I closed my eyes?”
“Yes.”
“Then I don’t k
now. I guess I’d feel like I was cheating on my boyfriend. I shouldn’t be thinking about other guys.”
“But it’s not real, right?” he said and his tone indicated he didn’t believe it.
“Why does it feel so real?”
He ignored my question and asked me one.
“Why are you so sad?”
“What?”
“The sorrow … it’s pouring off you.”
I sat down on the table top like him, but I was still a table away. “My parents died not too long ago. I’m not over it.”
“I’m sorry. That must be tough.”
“It is. Or it was. It’s not so bad now I just miss them. I live with a really great family.”
He seemed to absorb that answer. Then he spoke again and leaned back even further in the shadows.
“I wish I could take it all from you; your sadness, your sorrow. I’d want you to never feel pain again if I had the say in it.”
“Thanks, but everyone has to feel those things at some point. It’s what makes us who we are … makes us human.”
“You are a remarkable person. I can’t wait to get to know you. I want to know everything about you.”
“Everything?” I laughed. “There’s not much to know. So, are you … . are you going to scare me again, like last night?” I asked and felt bold and blunt. I wanted to go to him, but knew there was some unspoken boundary there.
“No. No more scaring. That was a mistake, one I regret and apologize for. Had I known then what I know now, things would have gone differently.”
“What do you know now?”
“That I am completely and utterly taken by you. I can’t function without you invading my mind, day and night.”
“I have a boyfriend,” I said though I knew he knew.
“Yes, I know. But can he invade your subconscious?” he said and I heard the smile in his voice.
“No,” I whispered. “Can I see your face?”
“Does it matter what I look like to you?”
“No, but I want to know the face to look at in my mind when I remember this later.”
He chuckled. “One day,” he promised. “There are a few things I have to take care of first.”
“What’s that?”
I didn’t hear or see him move, but I felt his breath on my neck and his voice in my ear saying, “All in good time, Clara.”
***
The next day was a repeat of the first, minus bullies on the way to Menendez. Tate let Eli walk me to class and it was all fine. He talked to Bishop about it and he said it wasn’t his problem. So, begrudged, Tate asked Eli to walk me to class everyday if he didn’t mind.
We all met at the school that night for another match. Dee, Megan, Sarah, Eli, Mike and I sat in the bleachers and watched as the guys warmed up and sparred in preparation.
Dee worked overtime to get Eli’s attention as he and Mike talked about our football team and how Eli should sign up. Eli avoided her a lot more and once, he leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees while he watched the first match start and she rubbed his back. He shrugged her hand off and turned to look at me. It was like he was telling me he was done pretending with her. His case was made and he was waiting on me.
But all was forgotten soon when Tate started acting funny. Even if you didn’t know him you could see something was wrong. He was shaking his head from side to side furiously when he took his stance and his face was as red and twisted as I ever seen it.
I heard Eli take a deep startled breath beside me and the look was back. This time there was no painful look involved. Eli was just soaking in whatever it was he was doing. Pure ecstasy and goodness was all over his face as he watched the boys face off. It made me stiffen with concern and curiosity, but Tate was taking my focus right then.
Then Tate did the thing that matched the face he was wearing. He threw the boy on the mat and with a cry of battle rage began to smash the guys face with his fists, over and over. It seemed he’d hit him at least ten times before someone reached them to stop him. Tate was straining and yelling for them to let him go; he was bloodthirsty. The crowd all stood in silent shock. The boy was bleeding from many places and groaning as he rolled on the mat in obvious pain.
Without thought, I stepped down the bleachers and went to Tate as he struggled with coach. I touched his arm and started to say his name, hoping to calm him.
“Ta-” I said, but he reached and punched me hard in the chest with a fist that got free.
I fell back forcefully to the mat on my back and heard a big gasp from the onlookers. I rubbed the spot he’d hit and felt the sting of it. I looked around shocked and realized what had just happened. Tate had just pushed me down in front of the entire school and half the town.
Chapter Three
I was stunned as I looked up to him and saw him finally register it, too. His whole face changed and he looked so incredibly guilty.
The other coach, Mr. Mackey, came to help me up. He kept his arm around me, for support or courage to pass Tate, I wasn’t sure which, but as we passed him Tate spoke to me in a gut wrenchingly heartbreaking voice.
“Clara, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know it was you. Please, babe, I’d never hurt you. You know that.”
I didn’t say anything, just walked. I didn’t know what to say.
“I’ll call your parents,” coach Mackey said and then blanched. “I mean, the Pastor.”
“No, It’s ok. I just live across the street. I can make it.”
“I’ll make sure she gets home safely,” I heard behind me and saw Eli there, a grim and unhappy look on his face.
“Alright, Mr. Thames. Good of you. Go on then. We’ll take care of Tate, you just get on home.”
“Yes, sir,” I answered and let Eli lead me away, a thousand eyes on me, with his hand on my lower back. Once we reached the parking lot I finally felt the weight of the situation. “Oh my- what just happened?” I whispered hoarsely, my hands on my cheeks.
“What happened was your junkie boyfriend hit you,” he said angrily. “Are you ok?”
I rubbed the spot on my chest and winced as the sting.
“Yeah, I’m ok. Wait- junkie? What do you mean?” I asked hotly and stood with him by the gate to the school entrance.
“I mean he’s using steroids. He’s got classic hot head syndrome.”
“Steroids,” I whispered and shook my head back and forth furiously. “No. No, he wouldn’t.”
“So he’d just hit you for no reason?” When I didn’t answer he leaned over me, placing his hands on the bars above me, towering over me. “Has he done this before, Clara?”
“No, never. He’s always been gentle with me.”
“Has he ever beat a guy like that before?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry, Clara, but I think he’s got a problem. State is coming up isn’t it? Wrestling is a really big deal in this town,” he said with inflection.
I stayed silent as I looked out at nothing in the dark. I mentally waded through his behavior lately. He’d been very snappy, even with me, and his dad, the mayor, was on him more than anyone about making his town proud. Oh no, it was true.
“I want you to be wrong,” I confessed softly.
“I want to be, too, but I don’t think I am,” he said just as softly.
The moon was shining streaks of white through his dark hair and his brow ring caught the light, twinkling. I reached up and touched it before I even realized what I was doing. He shivered and I finally looked into his eyes that were already watching me. His eyes were so violet, even in the night, and they captured me. I could literally have stood there all night and just locked gazes with him and smelled him. This close, he smelled like soap and something else, something delicious.
His face took on that familiar twist of enjoyment, but he seemed to keep in reigned in for the most part.
His hand came down to smooth my cheek. “Are you ok? You seem very … torn,” he said finally.
I could th
ink of nothing with his hand on me. Absolutely no words came to mind as I just stood there and let him touch me and held his gaze. And then he leaned in slightly, carefully, testing me. More, more. Then when he was so close I felt his breath on my lips, I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t.”
“Because of Tate?” he asked and I heard the edge there.
“Yes.”
“He hit you, Clara,” he growled. “He hurt you. How can you even think about him right now?”
“I know what Tate just did was horrible, but I have to talk to him. I can’t kiss you when I’m still dating someone else, even if it is on the rocks. I’m not like that.”
He nodded and seemed to calm down.
“All right. You’re right. I respect that.” He leaned back and took a deep breath. “Come on. I’ll get you home.”
***
Pastor was waiting on the porch for me. “Coach called. You ok?” he said and came to pull me into a hug.
“I’m fine. Pastor, this is Eli Thames. He’s new.”
“Thank you, son, for walking her home,” Pastor said and shook his hand.
“No problem, sir. I’m glad to help.”
“Well, you need a ride home?”
“I just live a little bit that way,” he pointed and started making his way. “See you tomorrow, Clara.”
“Bye. And thank you,” I called.
He nodded and lifted a hand in acknowledgement as he walked away.
Pastor took me inside and passed me to Mrs. Ruth, who took me straight down the hall for an inspection. She removed my shirt and even through my bra I could see a faint spot showing right between my breasts.
“Clara … I can’t believe Tate did this to you. I think it’s needless to say you can’t see him anymore and we need to file a police report.”
“No! Wait … He didn’t know it was me, I came up behind him. I need to talk to him first, to understand what happened.”
“Clara … I don’t think it’s a good idea, but … I’ll talk to Pastor about it.” She ran her hand down the back of my hair. “You want to stay home from school tomorrow? I’m sure that would be quite all right.”