Dispersion

by Robin Berkstresser

With the last of my strength, I slam my body back again. Dominic doesn’t relent. I push away from his unyielding, viselike grip, but he’s so much stronger than I am. I scream against Dominic’s hand, trying to get Jess’s attention one last time. She needs to know that I’m here.

  I want her to know I still love her, and I always will. That we should have had more time. That I’m still here.

  She lowers her head.

  “It’s morning sickness,” Jess says, voice breaking as she throws her hands up again.

  The shock of her words quiets everyone.

  Dominic’s grip finally relaxes, and I take a massive gulp of air. What’s she saying? Why is she prolonging this?

  Catherine shifts her own child in her arm and scoffs. “She’s trying to save herself.”

  “No, it’s true,” Jess says between sobs. “I’m pregnant. I was coming in here to get some crackers to settle my stomach.”

  Silas’s weapon lowers marginally. Dominic lets me go, whispering in my ear. “Claim the child.”

  Now that I’m no longer restrained, I rush forward to her. I tie my fate and put myself between the gun and Jess.

  “Elliot, remove yourself from this situation,” Silas says. Jonah moves in anticipation of a fight.

  “The baby is mine,” I say hoarsely and remain in the same position.

  Silas tilts his head and focuses all of his attention on me. There’s a tentative touch on the back of my left shoulder. The sound of my heart beating in my chest, her desperate sobs, and Jess’s touch are the only things pinning me to the present. Finally, he says, “If the child is yours, then why do you appear surprised?”

  One misstep here and the two of us could get killed. I race through different responses in my head until Dominic breaks the silence. “How would you appear if you found out you were going to be a father?”

  I break away eye contact with Silas to see Dominic, keeping my expression as even as possible. Allison has joined him in the front, holding her daughter. Dominic whispers in her ear.

  To my surprise, my brother joins my protective barrier and acts as another shield for Jess. She retreats even further into herself and holds on to Callie. Allison stays where she is, holding Josie, eyes darting across the room.

  Now it’s Silas’s turn to look startled. “You want to know what I think?” He pauses before answering his rhetorical question. “I think she’s infected and smartly thought a fake pregnancy would buy her some time.” He motions toward me. “And your brother has some innate desire to protect her, so he’s claiming the child. What I don’t understand, however, is why Dominic joined us all.”

  Dominic responds, “Before we came here, we were all at a genetic testing site back in my territory. During this time, we ran tests on Jess and discovered she was pregnant. She had previously been intimate with my brother.”

  Jess raises her head before she hides it once again in Callie’s fur.

  Silas lowers the gun another notch. “If you knew for all this time, why didn’t you tell Elliot that his ex-lover was pregnant?”

  Why would he go out of his way to prolong the inevitable? This doesn’t benefit him in any way. It’s actually the opposite.

  Dominic shrugs. “It was not my place to say anything. I was going to leave that up to Jess as to when she wanted to share this information.”

  Clearly undecided, Silas stares down at all three of us. Without a warning, he calls out and yells, “Jonah!”

  Jonah immediately straightens and says, “Yes, sir?”

  Silas keeps his razor-focused attention on me while he addresses Jonah. “You’re to escort Jess back to her chambers and watch her take a pregnancy test. If that test is negative, you must eliminate the problem without hesitation.”

  “Yes, sir.” He marches forward toward Jess, and she recoils away.

  Dominic and I both automatically shift so he can’t get to her. “Don’t touch her,” I say. Once I’m sure that Dominic is going to stay in his position to block Jonah’s path, I lean down toward Jess and say so only she can hear me, “I’m going to help you get back to your room.”

  Then, for the first time since the genetic testing facility, Jess opens her arms and lets me touch her. I cradle her to my chest as she wraps her arms around my neck. Her sobs echo through my body. I close my eyes and appreciate the feeling of her in my arms again.

  I reopen my eyes with fresh determination. I need to protect her. I stand back on my feet and call for Callie to follow me. She limps along while we exit the Mess Hall. From Jess’s announcement and Silas’s command, everyone is too confused to react.

  A couple sets of footsteps follow us, but I focus on what’s ahead. We’ll need to overpower Jonah and somehow escape. They tore our vehicle apart when we got here, but surely their trucks can’t be that hard to learn how to operate. We’ll need to race back to the territories as quickly as possible to give Jess the most amount of time. If we can get her back before she fully turns, Dominic should be able to help give her more time than even Andrew got.

  My shirt feels damp from Jess’s tears, but I welcome them. She’s finally letting me comfort her. I shift to hold her tighter. No matter what happens, at least we’re going to end this together.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I turn another corner and sneak a glance behind me. Dominic follows closely behind with his eyes glazed over, hiding his thoughts. Jonah and Allison take the rear. Josie is oblivious to the situation and lies peacefully in her mother’s arms.

  I return my attention to what’s ahead and shift some of Jess’s weight in my arms.

  “We’re almost there,” I say to her.

  The end of the hallway appears and I take the last turn to reach Allison and Jess’s suite. I push the door open and we enter.

  Even though my arms ache from the stress of holding Jess, I don’t set her down. I take a seat and keep her in my lap. Dominic stands next to us. His tense body language sets me on edge. Why is he suddenly pretending to be protective?

  Allison hurries ahead and immediately enters her room with Josie.

  Jonah says, “You must go into the bathroom and take the test.” He holds out a small package.

  I need to buy more time. Every one of my heartbeats reminds me that the truth is ticking closer. The amount of time she has left is directly related to how long she has until she takes the test and exposes her lie. “Can you give us a couple of minutes? She was attacked.”

  “I have my orders. If she does not take it now, it’ll be considered a failed test.” His voice echoes across the room.

  I take a deep breath in preparation for a rebuttal, but Jess stops me by letting go of my neck. “It’s okay. I’ll take it.”

  She stands up and takes the package from his hand.

  Does she not realize how important it is to stall right now? Is she that willing to die? Callie follows her to the bathroom as her faithful bodyguard.

  Allison returns to the living area. “I put Josie in her crib,” she says needlessly. She hands me a couple of Josie’s wipes.

  “She’s taking the test right now,” I say as I accept them and clean the blood off my face. I cringe when I touch my nose.

  I try to convey nonverbally to Allison that we need to be prepared to escape if we want to be able to save Jess. Even if we can get out of the compound safely, it’s only a matter of time until she turns.

  Allison bites her nails, her eyes wide as she stares down Dominic. He purses his lips and takes a step closer toward Jonah.

  Always observant, Jonah says, “If the test comes back negative and I follow through on my orders, it would be unwise of any of you to fight back.”

  Allison’s attention remains on Dominic’s stance while she says, “It’s not going to come back negative.” Her eyes then connect with mine, and I see the truth behind her words.

  It doesn’t make any sense. We took precautions to make sure this wouldn’t happen. She must be wrong or a better liar than I imagined.

  The bathroom door c
reaks open and Jess wordlessly hands the test over to Jonah. His eyebrows shoot up.

  “I appreciate your cooperation,” Jonah says. “Congratulations.”

  He walks out of the room, presumably to report the results to Silas, and leaves a blanket of silence behind.

  Dominic runs his hands through his hair. He looks at Jess and drops his gaze. Without saying anything, my brother exits the room and leaves the three of us alone.

  I slink down on the floor, mind numbing. Sensing my distress, Callie comes closer and licks my hand. I automatically pet her, not even fully realizing I’m doing it.

  I absentmindedly follow the motion of Allison hugging Jess and whispering something in her ear, with Jess listening intently. Allison takes a step back and studies her expression. Slowly, Jess nods.

  I drop my head down and stare at my lap. Even though a part of me suspected the worst all along, it was too horrible for me to truly accept it as a possibility. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that even Dominic would stoop so low as to rape her.

  I’m not ready for this conversation. I want to leave the room, like Dominic.

  Josie cries out. Allison’s head shifts between Jess and her room. Without saying anything, she moves toward Josie and closes the door behind her.

  Jess comes closer and says, “There are some things I should have told you a long time ago. I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore.”

  The memories of us together are now tainted, forced into an unwelcome darkness. How could Dominic take them away from me? I let out a deep breath, trying to get rid of the disgust that this revelation is causing. No matter how hard I try, I can’t push it down. He did the unimaginable.

  “Elliot, please look at me,” she begs, her voice breaking.

  She breaks my trance, and I force myself to make eye contact despite wanting to avoid her confirmation. A fresh bruise is forming across her cheekbone, and her face is blotchy from her tears. Despite this, her eyes convey a small sense of strength that I haven’t seen from her in a long time.

  Her eyebrows are furrowed and there’s fear in her expression, as if she’s afraid of what I’m going to say.

  I can’t turn away from her. She needs my support. How can I deny her?

  She’s still Jess. I can’t lose her.

  I reach out and take her hand. “Come back to me,” I say, voice cracking.

  She pulls her hand away and drops her head. “I’m not good enough for you. I owe you the truth.”

  A strand of hair has fallen in front of her face, so I gently cup her chin and move it back behind her ear. “Do you want to be with me?”

  She hiccups. “It’s not that simple.”

  “Answer the question.”

  Her jaw clenches and her shoulders tense as if she’s trying to find some internal strength. She stares down at her hands. “You don’t understand what happened. I owe you the truth.”

  I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “I don’t need you to tell me what happened because you think you owe me some type of explanation. I thought for a long time that I needed to know, but I don’t. All I need to know is that you want to be with me. That’s all the truth I need.” I open my eyes. She doesn’t need to say it. I don’t want her to. I want the small element of possibility that the worst hasn’t happened.

  “I’ve been absolutely horrible to you. Why would you even want to be with me?” Jess asks.

  “Because I love you. No matter what, you’re the person I want to share all the good and bad things that’ve happened to me. I wish more than anything that the whole episode at the genetic facility hadn’t happened, but it doesn’t make me think any less of you. You’re so strong and worth all the love in the world.”

  She blinks as a tear escapes. Her voice cracks as she says, “There were some personal battles that I had to go through that I couldn’t share with you. I was at a dark place for a long time. I would go to bed every night crying and wake up every morning wanting to be anyone else.” Her eyes are unguarded now.

  All of my fears and suspicions about what could have happened between her and my brother don’t matter as much. All I care about is moving forward together. “Let me in,” I say.

  She pauses and considers my request. I hold my breath in anticipation. Slowly, she nods.

  I flash a small smile and lean in to gently kiss her. The moment our lips touch, balance restores itself to my life. The pain and confusion from the last couple of months are less significant.

  I feel her grin as she pulls away slowly. I angle my forehead in to touch with hers. She doesn’t resist my touch. I focus on the promise of what this means.

  “I love you so much,” I say.

  She runs her hands through my hair, looking deeply into my eyes. “As I love you.”

  Josie’s wails from the other room bring us back to reality.

  Jess’s large shirt still hides any evidence of her pregnancy.

  She notices where my attention is. “I’m not holding you to any sort of expectations with the child.” She takes a deep breath and continues. “You said you didn’t need to know, but I want to tell you. When we were held prisoner back in Potentia, there were things that happened.”

  I hold my breath.

  “Dominic…he…well, he…” Her voice breaks again. She gazes down at her stomach. “He’s probably the father. That’s why I’m offering you an out. We aren’t your responsibility.”

  I let out a breath at her confirming this news. She is so vulnerable, and I want to be the man she needs right now, but I’m not sure if I have the strength to be. I say the words I suspect she wants to hear, though I struggle saying them.

  “I’m all in, Jess. I’m going to be everything I can. You’re my family. Not the one I was born with, but the one I choose.”

  Instead of replying, she tentatively takes hold of my hand and places it on her stomach. I stare at it in wonder, struggling through the conflicting emotions. On one hand, the child is a part of Jess, so how could I not care about it? But the baby is also evidence of Dominic’s sexual assault, not an act of love like it was for Josie. It will always be a reminder of the wedge he forced between us.

  Even if I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to truly treat the child like my own, I can at least promise to be with Jess and support her. That’s the most I can offer at this time.

  “No running. Even when it gets hard. We’re in this as a team,” I say.

  “Together,” she agrees.

  A fierce sense of protection almost overwhelms me, but it’s only toward Jess.

  Allison comes out of the room. She spots our position and smiles. “I’m going to go check on Dominic and make sure he doesn’t do anything rash. I’m leaving Josie in her crib.”

  Once the door closes, a fresh awkwardness spreads through the room. I’ve spent the last couple of months struggling to break my way into her heart again. Now that I have, I don’t know what to do.

  We exchange a glance and Jess chuckles lightly. “Come sit down with me on the couch, Elliot,” she says. “It’ll be more comfortable than the floor.”

  I stand back up and move to sit on the couch in the living area. Tentatively, not fully convinced of what happened, I place my arm around her shoulder. I breathe out a sigh of relief when she leans into my body. Her steady pressure is the reassurance I’ve been searching for ever since we were last in Potentia. This feels so right. Maybe it can end up okay.

  Callie limps over to us and lies down on the floor, head resting on Jess’s feet.

  “Have you thought about any names?” I ask, trying to be supportive like she needs.

  Jess exhales a breath of air. “What?”

  “For the baby…for our child,” I say, with only a slight hesitation. I hope she doesn’t notice.

  She places her right hand on her stomach. Even though she’s had some time to adjust to the fact that she’s pregnant, she still appears shocked that there’s a life growing inside of her.

  “I haven’t put much though
t into it. It’s been something I’ve been trying to ignore. It’s a reminder of…” she trails off.

  I cradle her face in my hands. “Jess, I’ll protect you from him. He’s never going to touch you again.”

  I kiss her on the forehead. I start to pull back, but she holds my face so our lips can meet. It’s a timid touch.

  She pulls back, our foreheads still touching, and says, “I guess if it’s a boy, I would like to name him after my brother.”

  “You’ve never told me your brother’s name before, Jess,” I whisper back.

  Her breathing hitches. “His name was Bryant, and he was the most wonderful person.”

  I gently kiss her again. “Then I couldn’t think of a better name.”

  “What if it’s a girl?” she asks.

  “Honestly, I’ve never considered the idea of having kids. With all the attention given to genetic engineering, it never made sense that anyone would want to ever be with me, let alone have kids with me.”

  She’s not actually having a child with me but with my genetically pure brother. I shake my head to dispel that thought. If I’m going to protect Jess, I’m going to need to continue the ruse of being the father. Otherwise, people will fear that the child could turn.

  I freeze. What if the child does turn? If it happens before its brain is fully developed, at least according to Dominic, then he or she would die unexpectedly. If it happens after…

  “Where we’re at isn’t necessarily better, but I’m glad we’re out of the territories,” Jess begins, snapping my attention back to her. “They discriminated so heavily against Unplanned for nothing more than how they were born. The three people I’ve cared most about—you, Allison, and my brother, were all Unplanned. What a terrible belief system.”

  “I wish we could get away from everything. I want to get away from all of the societies out there and live in a protected bubble with you,” I say.

  She smirks and leans back into my shoulder. “Wouldn’t that be nice…”

  I rest my head on hers, blowing some of her hair out from my mouth. “It would be perfect.”

  The two of us comfort each other, letting the months of separation float away.